Saturday, January 30, 2010

I Ain't One To Gossip, But..................

Poor NBC--which stands for No Body Cares.
Apparently profits at the Peacock fell 30% in the fourth quarter of Aught-Nine due to disappointing DVD sales, dismal movie releases, securing rights to NFL programing, and, something the spinmeisters at No Body Cares are calling "new programming investments."
New.Programming.Investments?
That's network-speak for Jay Leno.
MSNBC.....Mighty Sorry No Body Cares.

Domestic diva, and jailbird, Martha Stewart, apparently wants a new gig. You know, something to do between her TV shows, her commercials for Macy's, her K-0Mart products, her books and magazines, toting that barge, lifting that bail.
Martha, and I'm hoping this is a joke, wants to be the new judge on American Idol.
Will the contestants have to sing-and-sew? Rap-and-bake? Croon-and-garden?
Okay, I'll stop.
Martha Stewart, when asked why she thought she would be A Good Thing for American Idol, said she would be "fair."
I don't like my Martha fair, I want my Martha bitchy.

That Oprah knows how to jump on a hot story.
Last week she had Adam Lambert on to discuss his X-rated--or so some say--performance at the AMA's.
In.November!
This week she had Rosie O'Donnell on to discuss, among other things, her time on The View--a show she left YEARS ago--and the break-up of her marriage--which happened two years ago!
Now, ever on the cusp of cutting edge, current events, Oprah will be stepping away from the Craft Services table long enough to be packaged and shipped out to Hollywood to talk with The Chin, Jay Leno, about all this Tonight Show nonsense.
Which was settled weeks ago!
Way to stay current Oprah.
Hey Oprah, did you hear?
Some folks snuck into a White House dinner.
Ted Kennedy passed away.
My Mother The Car was cancelled.
Your show is over.

Apparently, teenage abstinence proponent, and unwed mother, Bristol Palin is after child support from her babydaddy Levi Johnston.
But here's the rub--and not the kind of rub that got Bristol to where she is today: Levi offered her support but she said No.
See, Levi wanted Bristol to come to his place to get the money, and to bring baby Tripp, so they could spend some time together, but Bristol never showed.
Maybe she was telling kids never ever to have sex because its bad and wrong and her mama don't like it.

All these guys using performance enhancing drugs. Big arms. Big legs. Tiny.....um.....Now comes word that Michael Douglas is using them, too.
Oh, not to hit a ball farther....not to run faster....but to keep his bat stiffer. Longer.
Michael Douglas--now pushing eighty........I kid! Or do I?....has admitted to using, ahem, performance enhancing drugs, namely Viagra, to satisfy his wife, the MUCH younger Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Seems that even with a hot-to-trot missus around the geriatric ward, Mikey needed a little encouragement of the medical kind to keep up with her.
Catherine--forty years old........still--likes a good roll in the orthopedic bed every now and again, and so she was only to happy to wheel Grampa to the doc for some Quicker Picker Uppers.

4 comments:

mistress maddie said...

But you will gossip anyway right? I love it! I sure as hell hope Martha is just joking. I like her but don't think that is her. And I can alway leave it to you to find the most flattering piture of Oprah!!! Your too funny Bob! And yikes! When did Michael Douglas get so old?

Joy said...

Michael Douglas is 25 years older than Catherine Diva Jones. His father is still alive, so he could live many more years if the Viagra doesn't do him in. ;-) She gets on all my nerves. Have you ever seen her on a talk show? Insufferable!

Stan in NH said...

I just wanted you to know that I presented you with a Kreativ Blogger Award. Thanks for your wonderful blog and for the great blogging efforts and your consistently thoughtful and kreativ posts. Thanks Bob.

I love these snippets of pop culture that you post. It's a way of keeping informed of what's going on in the outside pop world.

Mark in DE said...

Quite the potpourri!!