I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

File this under: I'd do it, too, given the chance.

Italian TV star Elena Di Cioccio grabbed David Beckham's package to find out if the soccer dad stuffs or not.

Giving the "lady" a filthy look, Beckham was clearly unamused at having his balls woman-handled and was immediately hustled away by his security into a nearby hotel.

A source close to Beckham [his balls, perhaps?] says: "It was done in jest and that's how David took it. She didn't actually grab it, it was an attempt. She just got his trouser leg."

Not the trouser snake?
Elena Di Cioccio said: "Off the pitch [I don't know what that means] e have seen fascinating photographs of David Beckham in his underpants and seemingly very well endowed and even his wife says that he is well equipped and calls him Golden Balls....but we wanted to find out if he was as well endowed as the pictures suggest or if they were touched up."

Honey, he was touched up, by your groping fingers!

Paula Abdul decided not to renew her multi-year contract with American Idol last summer and there was a lot of talk about why this no-talent-has-been-loon would leave such a lucrative gig.

Well, maybe it's because, had she signed the new deal she would have been unable to leave AI to be a judge on Simon Cowell's Americanized X Factor show.

Seems like Cowell and Abdul worked a little something-something and she'll be a judge on the new show.

Sneaky Paula. Sneaky Simon.

I don't like Cindy McCain.

I'll just put it out there. I think she's a schemer and a desperate plastic surgery hag who wanted so badly to be First Lady and has gone a little McCrazy since Grampa lost the election.

But now, Cindy's following in daughter Meghan's footsteps and become part of the NOH8 campaign, standing up for marriage equality.

So, I'll take a snarky pass on her.....this time.

Of course, Grampa isn't so lucky.

John McCain instantly released a statement saying he doesn't agree with wifey and daughter, that marriage is a one-man-one-woman institution.

This from a man who left his first wife to marry a millionaire's daughter while while said first wife was recovering from a horrendous car accident. Sanctity of marriage, unless you're straight and something richer comes along.

I don't watch The Hills, but that doesn't mean i ain't never heard of media-whore-and-bad-plastic-surgery-victim Heidi Montag.

And Heidi has recorded an album; she said, before it came out, that it was as good as Thriller, and that she wants to be the next Britney. So, to that end, she spent 2 million dollars of her own[?] money to make the album.

Which came out this week.

And sold 658 copies.

Two-million divided by 658 equals.....yeah, those of you who bought her album, now have a CD worth approximately $33,000.00

Or, at least that's what it cost Heidi.

Gleek News:

My favorite show is doing an All-Madonna-All-The-Time episode, and, out lesbian Jane Lynch, who plays the devilishly deliciously vicious Sue Sylvester, will be performing "Vogue" for the show's Madonna-esque episode.
"I'm going to be singing the song and doing a video for it," Lynch revealed. "It's going to be so much fun!"

Greta Garbo and Monroe, Dietrich and DiMaggio.

I cannot wait to see how Sue C's Vogue.

Well, it looks like numbnuts network NBC and Conan O'Brien have reached a $45 million deal so Conan can leave quietly and hack comic Jay Leno can go crawling back to 11:35.

O'Brien will get $33 million and the rest will go to his staff in severance pay.

Meanwhile, Coco has had fun skewering NBC and their incredible mishandling of this whole mess. Jay, of course, has taken to playing the victim.

Victim?

Jay Leno has had nothing since The Tonight Show and will have nothing when it ends for him again.

Conan, however, may soon be seen at Fox, and I hope his audience follows and he whips Jay's chin. I'd have said ass, but, c'mon, with that chin?

He's over it! Again.

Just like when he was on The West Wing and wasn't getting enough camera time so he quit, Rob Lowe is leaving Brothers & Sisters at the end of this season.
He says he was "underutilized and asked to be released from his contact."

Sme line he used when he left his last TV gig, and was given his own show, that failed miserably. And he wants to try that again at ABC; his own show.

Fail.

Miserably.

Um, Rob, when you take a show that stars Norma Rae and Ally McBeal, and your best performance was the one where you screwed a teenager in an Atlanta hotel room, well, you should have known you'd be under-utilized.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Star Jones.

Haven't heard much from her since her CourtTV show was cancelled. or she was fired from The View. Or her mini-gig on HGTV failed to turn into something permanent. Or when her Not-Gay-Husband left her.

But looky here, Star has been fired again.

The Enquirer--I know--is reporting that Star Jones was fired from her job n The Insider after getting into a screaming match with one the producers!
A source--I always wanted to be "a source' because they get around--reveals: "At first, Star got along with the producers just fine. But as she got more comfortable, she started complaining about the topics they wanted to discuss. She said they were too trashy and 'Star doesn't do trash!'"

Sheesh, Star, you took a job on a gossip show. Trash is their stock in trade.
Apparently, shooting Star was also upset that they used another mouthy Black woman, funny gal Niecy Nash, on the show when Star wasn't available.

She may have lost about a thousand pounds, but the ego only got bigger.