Tuesday, January 05, 2010

A Country Mouse In a Big Queer House

Christmas Eve, Carlos and I are in the kitchen, cleaning up from a day of baking cookies [me] and making his homemade cranberry marmalade [Carlos] and we began running the dishwasher. It was only about thirty minutes later when i heard Carlos shout out, We have a lick!

Lick? Lick. Lick! Leak!

We have a leak!

And sure enough, the floor in front of the sink and dishwasher is covered with water and Carlos in on his hands and knees sopping up the mess. I grab a mop and join in the battle and soon, we're dry. Towels are thrown in the washer and the mop returned to the laundry room. And the inspection of the dishwasher begins. No sign of it overflowing; no sign of a leak [lick?] through the door; we turn it back on, and water spews out from beneath it.

Turn it off!

A cursory glance under the sink reveals a hose meant to drain the dishwasher has a hole in it. Okay, so, no big deal, except that neither one of us is a plumber. So, we grab a file which contains the number of our home warranty service and they hook us up with a plumber who will be here in.....wait for it.........seven days. I know, it seems extreme to me, but, you know, Christmas, the holidays, non-emergency drips at a homo house. We waited.

New Year's Eve day, the plumber shows. I show him the plastic tubing with the hole in it, and he proceeds to remove the bottom panel of the dishwasher. He's laying on the floor, shining a flashlight under the dishwasher and says, You wanna see this?

See what, I wondered.

Oh.......the leak. Okay. Sure. I take the flashlight and peer beneath the dishwasher and there is a lovely pile of dog food stashed under there. Now, I've mentioned that Ozzo is a small dog...I often call him a PocketDog....I often say he rides in the glovebox of my car...I often say he's the size of a shoe. But, even tiny Ozzo couldn't have stashed his food under the dishwasher. He's neither that small, nor that bright.

It was a mouse. He'd found a way in, found the dog food, found a spot, and set up house. He used some dishwasher insulation to make a nest, and set up a buffet of Doggy Dinner. Then, you know as mice do, he became thirsty, and decided that a plastic pipe might hold some liquid. He began chewing the pipe to get a drink and the little rat-fuc......the little guy flooded his tiny condo and soaked all his food and created a huge mess.

Luckily, the plumber, Sean, had previously worked for a pest control company so he began barking instructions; I'm a sucker for a man with a tool belt and flashlight barking instructions, just so you know.

Move the bird house off the deck. the mice feed on the seed and then spiral out looking for more food and BAM they're in the house.

Take everything out of the cupboards and bleach them. The smell will keep the mouse away.

Get a glue trap, some peanut butter, and a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc--okay, I suggested that last part because, well, even for a mouse I'm a good hostess--and put it under the dishwasher to trap the little squatter. If he's still there.

I think, and Sean agrees, that the flood may have sent the little monster packing. But..................to err on the side of rodent-free living, we followed instructions, and this is how we spent Sunday.
Effin' mouse.

Click em'....they emBIGGERate.


Ultra Dave said...

Had my battles with the little buggers! They have no limits it seems as to what they can and will get into.

froggy said...

When we were in the depths of over the top Halloween-ism I took made a haunted dollhouse. Painted it gray, hung ragged curtains, filled it with headless Barbies and ghouls. One day I went into the garage, where the dollhouse was stored, and heard something in the dollhouse. GHOSTS! thinks I!! I look up and see little mouse faces staring at me from the dollhouse windows. We had a stare down and then I turned around and fled the garage. I'm sure they were Zombie Mouses arisen from all the mice The Engineer had killed in the garage.
So watch out for Zombie Mouses now.

robertga99 said...

Very funny posting!
BUT...don't use glue traps...I hate those things!
I had two hamsters growing up so I have a real soft spot for little furry creatures. We had glue traps at our office and I found a mouse on one a few months back. It was horrible to see that poor little thing stuck to that trap. I still have nightmares about seeing it's little head stuck on there looking at me with those eyes.

I know they can't just run amok in our houses and sometimes they need to be exterminated....but I prefer a quicker method so they don't suffer :(

Larry Ohio said...

Sorry little Mickey put you through such trouble. Hope he's gone for good.

Geez you sure got a lot of stuff! Don't think we didn't notice that can of Crisco jammed in there! It's a little small, isn't it?

Dan said...

I hate it when I get licks too! Carlos and Luis need to meet.

Beth said...

I just have to say this...I freakin LOVE the title of this post!!!

I have mice now too....on top of my husband's gunlocker, we found a tootsi pop, half eaten, and not my human teeth either.

I, too, think that the glu traps are HORRIBLE...but I had gerbils as pets, so go figure. there's got to be some other way to get rid of them....that isn't quite so...dastardly.

and I love the pix! man, you have a beautiful house with lots of stuff in your cupboards! ;)

Kyle said...

Sorry you and Carlos had to go through such an ordeal. Even with everything out of the cabinets your kitchen is still beautiful. I am surprised the cats didn't find him or her under the dishwasher. George lets us know when he has found a mouse.

Beth said...

Oh, they can definitely wreak havoc. I'm surprised none of the cats took after him--Sheeba loves finding meeces in the basement, and is quite the mouser!

Stephen said...

Why are they so cute in cartoons, but so miserable to live with?
I have 2 Jack Russell terriers, a breed made just to get the critters, & we still have the little visitors.
I wish Carlos would announce a lick in my kitchen...

Wonder Man said...

Great Hera! That's a lot of work. Sorry you had to go through that

oldmidhurstian said...

Great tale. Like a lot of other folk I'm amazed that the little blighter could survive so many cats, were they on holiday as well?

Just realised the crappy 'tale' pun but I'm not changing it :)


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Those little buggers get everywhere. When I took my car in for service last week, there was a nest in my air filter :o)

Mark in DE said...

You guys sure know how to party hearty!! I thought the Sauvignon Blanc might be for you and Sean. ;-) Great story.