PR7: The Designtestants

Allrighty then. Here are the newest designtestants for PR7. I have done web searches on them all, and body searches on others; yes, I'm talking about you, Jesse, and you, too Emilio. Deal. After a thorough [read: shallow] investigation, I have come up with a profile on each designtestant based only on their pictures, their names, and where they're from. I know, it's scientific, but that's how I do it.

I am so ready for PR7, if only to erase that awful PR6 from my brain. Michael Kors will be there, and so will the lovely Nina Garecia. And Tim, always Tim, and Heidi, who may or may not be pregnant this season. Ane let us not forget one of the best things about PR: the DavdDust recap. It's all good.

Let's roll:

Emilio Sosa is 43, making him one of the oldest designtestants this season. That also explain that Take No Prisoners expression on his face, which I find oddly stimulating. He is from Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, and is a costume designer, who adores the work of Charles James. Again. Stimulated.

Driving a pickup truck, with a Confederate flag on the antenna and a shotgun hanging in the window, Amy Sarabi is 26 and from Plano, Texas. She is yet another famewhore, er, fashion designer, and is also something called a permalancer at Men's Active Old Navy. Ah, permalancer is a full-time freelancer, which means she no longer recieves unemployment checks. Okay. Good. Her favorite designer is Christian Wijnants. What? Only one, Amy? This doesn't bode well.

Anna Lynett is 23, from Whitebread Bay, I mean Whitefish Bay,Wisconsin. She'll be playing the roll of the All-American Good Girl, with a secret drug and alcohol problem on PR7. Don't judge; it's always the Good Girls who are the most trouble. She calls herself a printmaker and a designer, who lists Marc Jacobs, Lanvin, and Band of Outsiders as her favorite designers. Wait. Band of Outsiders? Is that like the nerds in the high school Glee Club. I may love this girl. Sing out, Louise!

Speaking of Sing Out, louise, this is Ben Chmura; he's 30, and joining us from South Meriden, Connecticutt. He calls himself a desgner, and loves the work of Nicolas Ghesquiere and Marc Jacobs. I imagine him going all Season Six Johnny First Challenge Breakdown. Just sayin'.

Thirty-year-old Christiane King is from Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire, I have no idea where that is....oh wait....quick search......West Africa. They speak french; I am already intrigued. Quelle intriguement. Not only is she a fashion designer who loves the work of Marchesa and Balenciaga, but she has a little Naomi Campbell thing going on. Expect tantrums and the occasional cell phone tossed at someone.

Seth Aaron Henderson is 38 and hails from San Diego, California. He is a professional fashion stylist and fashion designer, and gives us a glimpse as to what Adam Lambert will look like in about twenty years. Seriously, a little guyliner and he'd be Daddy Glambert. His fave designers are Karl Lagerfeld and Christian Dior.

This is Ping Wu, from Chengdu, Sichuan Province, China. She is a busy little lady, as she is a design intern and assistant stylist and a model and an interpreter and a reporter and a freelance writer. My my my, someone has high aspirations; or a lack of a direct goal, perhaps. Her favorite designers are Issey Miyake and Hussein Chalayan. I will put it out there right now that I like her already; and that's based solely on the fact that I love saying Ping Wu.

Pamela Ptak is awfully full of herself. I gleaned this from merely looking at her picture folks, I am that good. She is 47, from Pittsfield, Massachusetts. She designs full-time, and teaches design part-time, but, and this is where it gets good, she lists her favorite designer as God. Pamela, darling? I know God, and you, madam, are no God.

Mila Hermanovski, who looks like a Cabaret roadshow Christine Baranski to me, is 40, and comes to us all the way from Dallas. Now, this may sound shallow [big surpirse] but with a name like Hermanovski, I expect her to design a lot using moose and squirrel. Anywhore, she is a professional costumer, television and film personal stylist, whose favorite designers are Helmut Lang, Preen, Courreges, Balenciaga, and Ralph Rucci.

Maya Luz is just 22, from Santa Fe, New Mexico, and is yet another "freelance" designer, which explains how she can give up several months of her life to be on TV. Judging from her photo, she is into birds and Nolan Miller-inspired, Dynasty-esque shoulder pads. This won't end well, my friends. Her favorite designers are Raf Simons for Jil Sander, Alber Elbaz for Lanvin, Vivienne Westwood, and Malcolm McLaren in the '70s. Ah, the 70s; now the feathers make sense.

Twenty-nine-year-old Jonathan Peters is from the homoerotically named Woonsocket, Rhode Island. Go ahead, say woonsocket and try not to giggle. He admits to being technically unemployed, which is reality-TV-speak for "freelance designer." And he lists his favorite desgner as "So many." I've never heard of him or her, but I think it means Johnny doesn't know any designers. And, this is just a hunch, but he looks like a cryer, a la Andre and Ricky. Good.TV.

Jesus Estrada, 21, from Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico. He's aiming to be the Latino Christian Siriano; how do you say fierce in Espanol? Ah, yes, feroz! He is a freelance designer, and we all know what that means: Will design for food. His rockin' fave designers are Alexander McQueen and Dolce & Gabbana.

This is Jesse LeNoir, which is French for "Jesse Of The Night" which is where I'll do most of my thinking about Jesse. He's got that Christian Bale American Psycho thing goin' on, but I digress...until tonight. Jesse is 25, from Painesville, Ohio, and is an actor and a fashion designer for House of Kilroy. His favorite designers are Thom Browne and Tom Ford. He may be my future ex-husband.

Jay Nicolas Sario is 31 and is all the way out here from the Philippines. He is a visual merchandiser and lead stylist for Gap Inc. kids' division so expect a lot of jumpers and pants with snaps in the seat. His designer favorites are Alexander McQueen and Balenciaga.

Here's the lovely Janeane Marie Ceccanti, who's 28 and is from Willows, California. She is the owner of, and resident designer for, Janeane Marie. Nepotism anyone? Her fave designer is Ricardo Tisci for Givenchy.

And last we have Anthony Williams. Anthony is 28 and hails from Birmingham, Alabama. He's a Freelance designer, which is another word for unemployed designer, and he loves the work of Zuhair Murad. I know......who? But, like Christian, he's got a little NamoiCampbell-tude happening. I'm hoping for a bitchslap or two.