Bristol Palin, that Abstinence Only Until You Wanna Have Sex poster child, is taking a page out of Mama's playbook in her suit for sole custody of baby Trapp. Troop? Trout? Tripp! She had requested that the proceedings remain sealed, but two Superior Court judges issued orders unsealing the court record and denying the use of pseudonyms to protect the feuding parents' identities.
Pseudonyms? Seriously. It's all a bit 007, Bristol, and so unnecessary. Unless you use Hot-To-Trotsy and Nudie Man and Moose Mess. Then i'll give the thumbs up.
Judge Kari C. Kristiansen denied Bristol Palin's motion to close the proceedings and opened the case file to public access and, on the same day, another judge, one Judge Sharon Gleason, denied Bristol's request to use John and Jane Doe in place of Johnston's and her own real names.
Bristol Palin quietly filed for sole custody in November, and Judge Kristiansen initially issued temporary orders limiting access to the case file and allowing the parties to file under pseudonyms. but Levi didn't like that; he knows all about Mama Palin and what she'll do to get what she wants, so he asked that the case be open to the public and that everyone use their real names.
His attorney, Rex Butler, said: "Simply put, this matter is public in nature, the courts are not refuges for the scions of the elite to obtain private dispensation of their legal matters because the public at large has an interest in the proceedings."
Levi wants it all out in the open so that Mama Palin, aka The Quitter, cannot pull strings, lie, cheat, deceive--you know, basically do what she does--or interfere in any way with the proceedings. Levi also fears some retaliation from Grizzly Palin. I hear he's constantly looking to the skies for helicopters carrying the wolf hunter.
"I do not feel protected against Sarah Palin in a closed proceeding," Johnston said in an affidavit accompanying Butler's filings. "I hope that if it is open she will stay out of it. ... I think a public case might go a long way in reducing Sarah Palin's instinct to attack and allow the real parties in this litigation, Bristol and I, to work things out a lot more peacefully than we could if there is any more meddling from Sarah Palin."
Sounds smart to me. See, I don't care about Levi Johnston; I may be one of the few gay men that doesn't find him hot, cute, intelligent or interesting. And if I care the little about Levi, imagine how I feel about Bristol. But, and there is always a but, I agree that keeping this case open and in full public view might just force The Quitter to stay out of it.
If she had been Moose-messing around in their relationship this much from the start, maybe there never would have been a baby Trapp. Troop? Tripp! Think about that, Quitter, and shut yer yap.
PS Does this get me on the enemies list?