Thursday, May 03, 2012

Random Musings

I just finished reading Guts by Kristen Johnston.
If you don't know her, she's an actress, most well-known for appearing on #rd Rock from the Sun. I never saw that show, because of a severe case of John Lithgow loathing, but I've always enjoyed Kristen on talk shows; she's quite funny, and very self-deprecating, and I am all about self-deprecating humor.
Oh, and humor aimed at others, too. But I digress,
Guts tells the story, and stories, of Kristen Johnston's life, as a Freak in school; of feeling like an 'other'--feelings which resonated with me as I reflected on my own school days, or daze. It also chronicles her addiction to pain medications and alcohol, and how, while appearing in a play in London, her stomach literally exploded.
Hence, Guts.
But it isn't all horror stories and drug addiction,. It's recovery, from the whole stomach thing and from addiction. it's the story of being different and feeling different, and how long it takes some of us, no matter what our circumstances, to realize we aren't different, we're just us.
It's hysterically written. You'll be laughing one minute and then be horrified the next, but it's a great, great story.
Guts: the Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster by Kristen Johnston. 
Get it.

The GOP is taking Barack Obama to task for his alleged politicizing of the capture and death of Osama bin Laden.
Um, GOP? STFU.
See, bin Laden was captured and killed under his watch, so he has earned the right to talk about it.
And, if politicizing that bothers you, take a stroll back in time, to W's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" speech. Or even back to W's fighter pilot arrival on that aircraft carrier and the banner that said "Mission Accomplished" when it wasn't.
And then take a gander at W's 2004 re-election campaign when he used fear of reprisal from al Quaeda to win the election.
Oh, GOP, you're all so Bible-thumping, but you missed the passage about those who have have no sin casting the first stone.
Again, STFU.

Okay, when I first saw that Tan Mom--seriously, she doesn't look tan, she looks like a burn victim--who is in trouble for bringing her young child into a tanning booth with her, I was disgusted.
Then I saw the mom, who obviously has issues with her looks because she's addicted to tanning and looks at least twice her forty years. Her skin is as chewy and sick looking as leather, and all I could think of was the N-word.
Not that one: Naugahyde.
Seriously sad.

Richard Grenell says he was "hounded from the Romney campaign by anti-gay conservatives" and so he tendered his resignation.
Was it the anti-gay forces who bashed the Romney campaign for hiring an openly gay man when Mitt Romney clearly does not like the gays? Or, was he chased away by his own Tweets and his own words?
I think it was a combination of both. I mean, how can you have a spokesman who has Tweeted some very hurtful and harmful things about other public figures, including some homophobic Tweets about Rachel Maddow?
His self-loathing drove him from the campaign. His own words.

Sitting down to watch Smash this week, the show began with, of course, a fabulous showtune, "Another Opening, Another Show."
I was giddy as a schoolgirl, singing along, and trying to get Carlos to join in.
But, and I cannot fathom this, he said, while he may have heard the song before, he said, and I'm so sorry, He.Does.Not.Know.The.Words.
I am seriously afraid the Gay Mafia and the Showtune Squad will be knocking on our front door any minute asking for the return of his Gay Membership card, the Toaster Oven, and his copy of The Gay Agenda.
Pray for him.

Sweet Tweet:


New book; er, books.
I have a tendency to read more than one book at a time. I was reading Stephen King's 11/22/63--which I found overly long...I mean, does every King book need to be 800 pages--while I was also reading Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay on my Kindle--Yes...I got a Kindle...though I will not stop buying 'real' books.
Now, I am onto The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta, which tells a story of The Rapture, which isn't really a Rapture, but more of a Sudden Departure because it didn't take all those God-fearing, God-worshipping folks, but it did take some of them, and some non-believers and, gasp, even some homosexuals.
So, what if The Rapture came and didn't take the ones who thought they should go? And what if it did take the ones who didn't believe? Or the ones who, according to those God-fearing-and-worshipping folks, shouldn't have been allowed to go? How do those Leftovers feel about being leftovers?
And, I am also reading The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon. 
It's an older book, first published in 1988, but I recently saw the movie based on the novel, and I really enjoyed it, so i decided to see what the novel was like.
It tells the about a young man, graduating from college, and how he spends that last summer before "life" is supposed to start. And how that last summer shapes what may, or may not, be his "life".
It's kind of a coming of age story, though, from what I saw in the film, it's also a coming to life story.
And, of course, I am scouring Amazon for a new Kindle read, so....there will be more. 

I've given up on Idol because, seriously, except for Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, none of the winners have had any great success. In fact, some of the losers have become more successful than the winners.
Daughtry, JHud. Adam Lambert.
But, I was channel surfing the other night as the show started and I was stunned to see that Miss Ryan Seacrest is still coming down the big stairs as the show opens, like some sort of cheap Vegas showgirl.
Ego much.
And I'm also not much for The Voice. 
I don't care for Blake Shelton or Adam Levine, and Cee Lo's little tiny hands kinda scare me. I do enjoy, though, watching to see how drunk Christina is acting.
But then even that gets sad and I click away.

And, in addition to not watching Idol, I also don't watch The Apprentice because Trump is a toupee-wearing, ego-0manaiacal blowhard.
But I digress. it isn't Trump and His Magic Hair that has gotten me a'scurred, it's the appearance of former Idol loser Clay Aiken.
He's on the show this time around and I saw a picture of him with his new face.
His new jacked up face.
Seriously Clay? Why?

Did anyone read that story of the woman who took her lottery ticket back to the store to see if it was a winner and, after scanning the ticket, she was told she hadn't won anything?
Well, she threw the ticket away. And another woman found it, took it into the store, and had it scanned and found that it was a MILLION DOLLAR TICKET!
Now, the woman who bought the ticket is suing the woman who found the ticket because she wants her million. But the finder has already spent some of the money.
Is this a case of :finders keepers" or should the ticket purchaser be allowed to recoup her winnings? And, if so, should the finder have to pay her for the money she spent?
My personal thought is that the store, and the company who made the faulty scanner, should somehow be involved in paying off this woman, After all, had the scanner not been wrong, she never would have thrown the ticket out.
What do you think?

14 comments:

  1. You know, if that Tanning Mom were smart, she'd put a pair of bunny ears and a cotton tail on and next spring she could sell her services as an Chocolate Easter Bunny.

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  2. Richard Grenell didn't lose his job because he was gay. He lost his job because he's an obnoxious political operative cunt. There, it needed to be said.

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  3. I agree. The store/scanner people should pay up.

    Lesson learned: check your own numbers.

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  4. My high school guidance counselor, Mrs. Robinson, looked just like Tanning Mom. We used to call her Leather Woman. She had a tanning bed in her home, and that was way back in the early 80s!

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  5. I can't watch The Voice because Cee Lo's brilliant white teeth burn out my retinas in a matter of seconds. It must have cost him a fortune for them to be made that bright. Where were they made? Three Mile Island?

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  6. Girls in my living group in college would schedule classes, starting in January, to have tanning time available for the short season up here in WA state.

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  7. Bob,

    Yet another delicious post! I feel I should be paying a subscription to read your blog.
    The only thing where I disagree, I'm a big John Lithgow fan (yes I am) and I HATE SHOW TUNES. I know, I've already turned in my gay card. I was drummed out years ago because I dared to say "I hate show tunes" whilst I was in the presence of my Ethel Merman/Judy Garland/Patti Lupone gay friends. They (of course) do not speak to me now. Bill (my spouse) also hates show tunes. Other than that we don't have much else in common. Maybe that's what has kept us together the past 47 years. You'll never hear Betty Buckley belting out "Memories" in our house.

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  8. Oh, by the way...Clay Aiken. WTF happened? He used to be cute in a dorky kind of way.

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  9. Well at least we can take pleasure in the fact that Bryan Fischer is sleeping well tonight after having an ass tongue bath from dear Mittsey....

    And I'm a Pervert???

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  10. Anonymous11:46 PM

    Isn't it strange that Leatherface and Lohan Original Recipe aren't seen together at the same place?

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  11. OK, hilarious post.
    1. Have to check out Guts. How the hell can anyone survive their stomach exploding!?
    2. If Bin Laden had been killed under Busch's watch the right would have been coming all over each other.
    3. Tanning Mom looks like a beef jerky. GEEZ.
    4. I LOVE SMASH. Except I missed one episode that my DVR didn't record and now Debra Messing and the husband have made up after she had an affair with the Joe DiMaggio guy ... how they hell did they make up so fast? I need to know.
    5. Is Cee Lo a dwarf? No offense to dwarfs.

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  12. that woman's face is too much

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  13. Thanks for bringing Guts to my attention - love her!

    And you're not alone with the gay card thing. I'll rock Gypsy, Mame and Judy at Carnegie Hall all day long - but I'm positive my hubby is the only person in the world who has seen all of Hello Dolly in less than 30 minutes because he made fast forward through all the songs.

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  14. made "me" fast forward...

    Sorry - I spilled a Screwdriver on my laptop and the OJ has made the keys odd and crunchy.

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