Saturday, May 05, 2012

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Kris Jenner, mom and fame-whore manager, is pissed at daughter  Khloé  Kardashian for supporting her husband Lamar Odom's idea to pull the plug on their reality show.
Her daughter supports her husband's decision to live their lives as much outside the spotlight as possible, and mom is angry. Yeah, that's normal.
Khloé and Lamar decided to not do a third season of their E! reality spin-off show, so Lamar could focus on his career, which is, from what I read, cuz I don't know nuthin' about them sports things, in a downward spiral. The couple's decision on what to do with their own lives has put them at odds with Kris, who never met a dollar sign she didn't want to screw.
A family insider, and I'm sure their name starts with a 'K' says,  "The idea to pull the plug on the show was all Lamar's. He felt that it was becoming a distraction and Khloé fully supported her husband. Lamar just isn't in a good place right now, he is dealing with his ailing father and trying to get back into shape so he can sign with an NBA team. Kris doesn't think it was necessary for them to not do another season of the show though and told them that Ryan Seacrest's production team would work with Khloé and Lamar to film less. Kris told Khloé that viewers could be inspired by what they are going through right now because the unemployment rate is so high. However, Khloé isn't budging and told her mom there will be no show, period. This is the problem when a mother makes money off of her kids, it could cloud her judgement."
What kind of mother wouldn't support their own child's decisions on how they choose to live? oh, yeah, a mom like Kris Jenner who gets a 10 percent commission on all of her children and Lamar's deals that she has brokered. 
It's not about parenting to Kris Jenner, it's about her bank account.

This is rich.
Charlie Sheen is threatening to sue New York strip club Cheetahs for millions, claiming the club now has a VIP room named in his honor--where guests eat sushi off the bodies of scantily clad women.
Charlie says, and forgive me for giggling, that this damages his reputation.
He feels that allowing guest, for just $250 a person, to eat raw fish off the half-nekkid body of a high-class pole dancer, in a room festooned with pictures of grinning, sometimes toothless, almost always drug addled, Charlie Sheen, is bad for his career.
Unless, of course, Charlie gets a cut.
Sam Zherka, president of the company that owns Cheetahs, says the Charlie Sheen room was created over a year ago because: “We figured it would be comical to name a room after him. It was a room where you could dine on sushi served on cellophane on the body of one of our entertainers, not where you do crack.“
Oh, snap.
Then came notification from Sheen's team of round-the-clock lawyers to cease and desist, claiming the usage of his name would be detrimental to Sheen's persona.
"How could sushi damage Charlie Sheen’s reputation?” Zherka mused. “We thought dedicating a room to dine in his honor would help repair and elevate his image. He should have called us up and thanked us.“
But, Cheetahs blinked first, and the Sheen room is no more, although there was one last hurrah where all the pictures of Crazy Charlie were tossed into a dumpster.
Kinds like the real thing.

So, Lindsay.
It seems Original Recipe Lohan was actually on her best behavior at the White House Correspondents dinner, even though she did miss her plane because she was late. A habit for the cracktress. And she looked pretty good, except for the semi-deflated balloon lips she's trying to loose before playing Liz Taylor in a Craptime, er, lifetime, movie.
There were no stories of Lohan Drink Tossing, and no fisticuffs with rising politicos, although rumor has it Lohan was bitching at her assistant almost non-stop.
Get me a drink, and put it in a water bottle so people think I'm sober.
That kinda thing.
And there was some spin that Lohan , on one of her many trips to the bathroom, met an elderly Latina cleaning woman in the ladies’ room, and told her:"You’re too old to be doing this kind of work.” 
And then she ALLEGEDLY gave the woman a $100 tip.
Now, two things: where did Lohan get a C-note, and if she had one, you know darn well she'd be using it for vodka and Vicodin.
Oh, yeah, and while she chainsmoked almost all night long, she was telling people it was part of her "research"to play Taylor.
No, not Rip Taylor.

Ryan O'Neal.
The new face of Pathetic, a gossip magazine where stars tell the most horrid stories about themselves just to make a buck.
O'Neal is making the rounds, peddling a book he "wrote" about his life with Farrah Fawcett, but somehow he makes himself the victim of Farrah’s moods and made her death all about him. 
And, when it came to talking about his kids, all of them, except Patrick who was raised by his mother, who have had their share of drug dram and arrests, he admitted he was a "bad parent".
Still, O'Neal barely remembered to mention his youngest child, Redmond, with Farrah, when he, perhaps jokingly, asked, “Who’s the other one? Redmond.” Either way, it came across as cruel.
Ryan, suffering from pancreatic cancer and leukemia, spares no one in his stories. Rumor had it that he used to party hard, drugs and booze style, with Redmond, which lead to Redmond's addictions and drug arrests and rehab stints. 
And in daughter Tatum's biography A Paper Life, she tells of the neglect, and physical and emotional abuse she suffered as a child. Tatum tells about the friend of her father's who molested her, and how, at the age of 12 she was taken to an orgy by then 17 year-old Melanie Griffith, who was dating 34-year-old Ryan, at the time.
Look for Ryan on the inaugural issue of Pathetic at your local newsstand.

Lotsa folks--and I include myself--believe Queen Latifah is gay, though she's never said a word about it to anyone. Publicly.
But, there were all the stories about her life with personal trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, and how they bought a house together. And then came the pictures of Queen and Jenkins, on that yacht, where they were all huggy and groping. 
And then came stories that Queen dumped Jenkins and is now dating a woman named Eboni Nichols. Eboni and Latifah were even photographed together at last year’s US Open. 
Now, she does get a half-assed pass from me for not publicly coming out--as bisexual or gay--because she's never done that I haven't found the right guy interview and she's never done the I'm straight dammit press tour. 
But that may be changing.
Maybe Latifah is tired of life in the Glass Closet, or maybe she's just looking for a gig, but either way, she'll be headlining at this year’s Long Beach Lesbian & Gay Pride Festival.
Will she come out? I would like that. It would do a lot for young Black girls who are Lesbian and closeted.
Will she not come out? Well, lots of straight performers perform at Pride events, so her appearance there isn't a lock on her Lesbianism.
Still....come out, come out, wherever you are, Latifah.

Lotsa folks wringing their hands over Lindsay Lohan’s casting as Elizabeth Taylor.
And for good reason. 
Even though it’s just a low budget, cheap-assed Lifetime disaster-to-be, it’s the principle of the thing.
Lindsay is no Liz Taylor.
I mean, she is considered one of the great beauties of the 20th century--No, not Lohan--and was a great actress--No, not Lohan,--a brilliant activist for AIDS--No, not Lohan--and a fabulous philanthropist--NO! Not Lindsay!
So, how does anyone think that kind of person needs to be portrayed, even on the small screen, by convicted criminal,jewel thief, alcoholic, drug addicted, car-jacking, kidnapping, Lohan.
Oops, forgot to add ALLEGEDLY.
And, even Elizabeth’s family is furious that Lindsay Lohan's casting as Taylor.
A family friend--okay, it was me--told the Enquirer: “Liz’s sons, Michael and Chris Wilding, feel there are many other actresses who are far more qualified to play their famous mother. They think gorgeous and talented stars such as Cate Blanchett or Emily Blunt should have been short-listed for the role. Liz deserves better."
Well, I can't imagine Cate or Emily doing a cheesy Lifetime bio-pic, which was why they were never asked, but, come on, there aren't any other TV stars, who don't have a criminal record, and actually have talent, who could play Taylor?
And again, I don't mean Rip Taylor.
Lohan would have been perfect to play Rip.

It looks like it might be a "Skinny Girl Situation."
Rumors are swirling, as they are apt to do, that Bethenny Frankel, the married 41-year-old star of reality TVs Bethenny Ever After recently hooked up with....hang on, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.....The Jersey Shore, um star[?] Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.
I know. It's like an STDapalooza.
But the cheating scandal is threatening to ruin Frankel's already troubled marriage, and even, maybe, perhaps, fingers crossed, the launch of her new daytime talk show.
It all started with a Blind Item that appeared last October: “Strangest hookup ever…This controversial female married A-list reality star spent a good five minutes making out with this second fiddle reality star who thinks he is way better than he is.”
Then, just last month it was revealed that the subjects of the item were Bethenny and 29-year-old Sorrentino! 
“Bethenny has vehemently denied it, calling the rumor ‘a lot of B.S.,’” a source--and we all know it's Andy Cohen....or Kathy Griffin-- at the Bravo network said. But her husband of two years, Jason Hoppy, isn’t so sure.
“He’s been suspicious for some time because of all the problems they’ve had,” the source continued. “Bethenny’s marriage to Jason has already been hanging by a thread, and this could finally sink it.”
Bethenny is probably more worried about how the rumors might affect her new TV gig, the talk show,which begins test runs on FOX in June.
Yeah, I can kinda see this happening.
Two reality show whores mixing their DNA and then sobering up and realizing it was all a tragic mistake.
Next week, on a very special Bethenny....

It’s been a while since we’ve had any news on the Halle Berry/Gabriel Aubry custody battle. In fact, it’s been downright quiet since Halle “I never will marry….again” Berry announced her engagement to French actor Oliver Martinez. Halle has made it quite clear, though, in her court actions, that she wants to replace Nahla’s father, Gabriel, with Oliver, and wants to do so sooner rather than later.
But Gabriel is  pushing back to assert his parental rights. His latest move involves asking for a “substantial increase” in his child support from Halle, to $20,000 a month.
Now, it may sound like a lot, but, let’s say the situation were reversed, and it was Aubry making the big bucks and Halle making substantially less; we wouldn’t even be having the discussion.
And, adding to the demand for increased child support, Aubry also wants Halle to pay his legal fees, which stand, right now, at about $500,000. Aubry was in court, arguing for the increase, but didn’ty have the proper paperwork, so the judge postponed his decision,
Gabriel believes he’s entitled to the money because he needs a proper environment to care for 4-year-old Nahla, whom Halle wants to take with her, and move to Paris so she can Oui Oui and Oooh la la with Martinez.
Now, as I said, if the genders were reversed, the request for increased support would hardly raise an eyebrow, except for maybe the amount of the increase. But, remember this, while Aubry has been said to make about $700,000 a year as a model, during his time with Berry she often called him a loser for not making as much as she did. Berry’s net worth is estimated at $70 million and reports claim she earns $16 million a year, though, given the number of crap movies she’s been in lately, that’s probably no longer accurate.
So, he probably doesn’t need the money, but this is his way of continuing to assert his parental rights against the woman who wants to take his child out of the country.
Plus, there was that whole abuse claim filed by Team Halle against Aubry that got tossed out of court. 
Lots of folks say Halle is a beautiful woman…..on the outside, only though, it seems


kathy said...

gawd, I totally blew it not getting the kids into reality/show biz. I guess there is still time for Abby and Her Minion.

mistress maddie said...

What a train wreck this week! Right after reading the first too I for some reason needed gin!

Stan in NH said...

Wonderful gossip that you are sharing this week. OH, sorry, I meant to say alleged gossip, because we're no really sure if it's just gossip, or actually true!

I must say when I first heard that LaLohan was going to play Liz, I thought it was a joke. But I guess it's true (allegedly). Unfortunately, we don't cable, so won't be able to watch it. And I am curious to see whether or not the Liz Taylor Story, staring LaLohan actually beats Manos, Hands of Fate for most entertaining worst film ever.

R.J. said...

I tuned out of Bethenny's show a few weeks back. An episode where she has a situation with The Situation might bring the big ratings that would make Andy Cohen swoon.

KDNA said...

A couple of weeks ago I "announced" that Lindz couldn't get insured to film in Canada. It turns out that even if she could, her legal troubles are keeping her from entering the Great White North. So, it looks like Lifetime is moving ALL production to L.A. Awesome.

As for the Kardashians, I've decided a new approach. Instead of going on about how much I detest them, I'm just going to say, "Who's Khloe?"

I figure if it catches on with us dead-commons, the networks will follow suit!

Ask the Cool Cookie said...

I feel bad for Ryan O'Neil - such good looks inhabited by a total hole.

Biki said...

The idea of the lindsay playing the fabulous Elizabeth is just.....well words escape me as to the hypocrisy of it all....

Ron said...

Mike Walker's (The National Enquirer) and Susan Loosch's (The Globe) weekly diatribes pale in comparison to your "I ain't one to gossip but..." You are delicious Bob. Lotsa goodies in this week's posting. Yummy!