Thursday, September 29, 2011

Random Musings

So, Vicki Reveron stopped into her regular Starbucks for her morning half-decaf-half-caf-low-foam-skim-milk-no-cinnamon-frappucino, or probably something very similar, and discovered what she says was a nasty word scrawled on the cup.
Bitch.
"It says b--ch, my name is not b--ch, it's Vicki," Reveron said.
Well, Vicki, maybe to some, it's both. What I'm saying is, take your cup and your complaint to the manager of the Starbucks, and then go to another Starbucks from now on; I'm guessing there's one on the opposite side of the street.
Why go to the media? Why do people think every little thing that happens to them is a news story or a lawsuit?
Bi......well, you know.

You gotta love ministers, preaching the word of god, and those, what are they, ten things you're not supposed to do? Like not committing adultery or murder. Even I know about those two.
But, Tracy Bernard Burleson, a 44-year-old Houston pastor, is facing capital murder charges for the murder of his wife, Pauletta Burleson, who was shot in the back of the head, allegedly by her stepson, William Fuller.
Here's where it gets sticky: Fuller, who is also charged with murder, insists his father hired him to commit the murder, but then it gets much for complicated than that.
It seems both the pastor and his son were schtupping the same woman, 32-year-old Tyonne Palmer. Fuller had been living with Palmer, who was caring for him after he was diagnosed with sickle cell anemia. But, during the murder investigation, it was discovered that Palmer was dating Fuller and his daddy, the pastor.
What;'s that commandment about not schtupping the same woman as your son, while you're still married and then asking your son to kill your wife?

Note to Gay men: "Fierce" is over.
In fact, it was over right about the time that Christian Siriano said it for the eight millionth time on Project Runway....Season Four....Episode One.

Oh, another athlete has uttered the word "faggot" and once again we're all riled up. Philadelphia Flyer Wayne Simmonds called Sean Avery that word during a game and we're all demanding an apology. Be prepared for the non-apology-apology we'll get: "I'm sorry if I offended you....Some of my best friends are gay....i meant no disrespect...." Blibbety blah blay blue knock it the fuck off."
But then, the NHL decided not to investigate the utterance because there are "sonflicting accounts of what transpired on the ice."
Um, NHL? Anyone? Why don't you simply look at the videotape, like the rest of the world has done?
See, even with the sound off, and not being a professional lip-reader, I can tell when someone says "fucking faggot."

Pat Robertson says Halloween is Satan's holiday, and my question is, "Why does Pat Robertson get his own holiday?"

Apparently there's a new phone app to determine if your son is gay. Yes, you ask questions like, Does he like football? because gay men, you know, don't like football. You ask if your son has an authoritative father because, you know, gay men don't. Or, you ask, why the hell would you ask your phone if your son is gay? Why not ask yourself why you would use some asinine app?

I was reading an hysterical article in Entertainment Weekly in which Jeff Probst, host of 'Survivor', talks about how "real" his show is. Real? Let's see, they take groups of people they've specifically chosen because Probst, and the producers, believe they make good TV, and drop them off in a remote location after a team of engineers has been to that location to, according to Probst, "create roads, clear paths, set up the beaches, camera tents, caterinf, offices."Real? Then Probst says how the weather, that real weather, impacts the show, because, when it rains, and the weather gets ugly, Jeff Probst pushes to start filming.Um, Jeff? That's not real. That's orchestrated and planned and organized and built. That's you and your team turning a jungle or a desert into a rpistine spot for people to play games.
Real? Hardly.

8 comments:

Rainbow said...

Schtupping? Isn't that what 2 pigeons do on a ledge on the side of a building in NYC?

froggy said...

"Why does Pat Robertson get his own holiday?"
ROFL!
Hey! Pat! Get out of our High Holy Day here at the Ponder house.

Cubby said...

Yes Survivor isn't very real, but at least for the most part it is not scripted. Greg and I are watching it this season for the first time because of the inclusion of Papa Bear in the cast. But Papa Bear got voted off the island last night, so we won't be watching it any longer.

We also took at peak at Biggest Loser the other night for the first time and I was absolutely floor at how utterly scripted that show is. I had to turn it off before I threw a shoe through my TV screen.

Tivo Mom said...

love...love ..love your musings

Robyn said...

Rainbow better be in the running for Comment of the Week for that! :-)

tamayn said...

Nothing like the perpetuation of stereotypes of latent homosexuality to jazz up a flailing app company. I swear they knew this was a gimmick. Can anyone connected to Android tell me how many times it's been downloaded now?

S'A said...

Do they have an app to tell if your son is a lazy goodfornothing? *Does your son sit on the couch in front of the tv for hours? *Does your son eat all of your food? *Does your son have mouse calouses on his hands from playing computer games all night? Geez.

Tiger Chanter said...

Fierce is out?!!!!! Ack! Please, please, please tell me that we can still say FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS! I shall be done for if I cannot...oh the pain...the pain...