Saturday, September 03, 2011

I Ain't One To Gossip, But....

Shia LaBeouf--which I believe is french for Timid Piece Of meat--was ALLEGEDLY involved in a meltdown at LA hotspot The Box in which he ALLEGEDLY spit water at shock rocker Marilyn Manson.
According to witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean people who got sprayed with Shia water--LaBeouf suddenly became angry with his date while at the club and began shouting at her.
A witness said--while drying off-- that “Shia picked up a water bottle and shot a mouthful of water all over his date’s legs. Then he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson.”
Did he think Manson would melt? I dunno, but Manson ALLEGEDLY remained seated during the unwelcome bath, and even tried to calm Shia down, but LaBeouf, who folks say "seemed wasted”--ya think?--insisted on “lunging” through the crowd to escape the venue.
A drenched onlooker said, “Shia had to climb over people and tear himself out of he grasp of various strangers who were trying to keep him from going crazy. It was totally mad. They had a verbal spat and the next thing you know Shia went for him. He was a bit tipsy and Marilyn was having none of it and towered over him. Security jumped in and Shia left the party quickly. It was all very weird.”
Perhaps LaBeouf ought to "transform" himself--Get it? He starred in those Transformer movies so I said transf....okay, I'll stop--into a non-drinker.

I think I'll call this The Battle Of The Bobble Heads.
The adulterous country crooner LeAnn Rimes and annoying E host Giuliana Rancic are locked in a battle of dimwits over remarks made to and about one another, on TV and on Twitter.
It seems that Rancic--who has ALLEGEDLY had some very well documented body image issues and eating disorders--recently told the Huffington Post that LeAnn Rimes was a little too bony: "She lost a lot of weight from all the stress in her life. She seems a little thin right now and I think she looks great when she’s a bit curvier.” Rancic suggested LeAnn get some meat on her frame.
Hey, i thought Eddie Cibrian was the meat on her frame!
Anyway, Rancid, er, Rancic, should know better than to criticize a thin girl when she wept and moaned about people talking about her skeletal body. And Rimes wasn't having it either. She picked up a phone and called Rancic....Oh.....She didn't call? Nope, as with all feuds, Rimes took to the Twitter to tell Giuliana Rancic that she does so eat and that they should share a meal together so she could prove it.
And, to be fair, by meal, she meant grape.
Rimes wrote, “@GiulianaRancic hey, we should go to dinner sometime. You get criticized all the time for how small you are. You can see just HOW much I eat and maybe put a stop to this crazy ‘shrinking’ once and for all...Then we should workout together! Good luck with your restaurant!!!!”
Then, one of Rimes followers--Giuliana Rancic in disguise, I imagine--asked LeAnn to clarify her comments, and Rimes softened a little--well, as much as a bag of bones can soften--and replied: “I just don’t appreciate her comments, so I really would love for her to hang with me, see who I am...I am a person you know.”
Well, maybe just half-a-person, really.
But you stick Rimes and Rancic together you might get a whole person.

What to do when your hit show ends it's run?
Well, if you are former "Lost" actor Matthew Fox, you get yourself arrested for ALLEGEDLY punching the female bus driver of a party bus.
It seems that upon leaving a Cleveland bar last weekend, and heading back to his hotel, Fox tried to board a party bus. When the driver, one Heather Bormann, refused to allow him access, Fox ALLEGEDLY began hitting Bormann in the chest and stomach.
But not to be outdone, and not afraid of some TV star, Heather Bormann reciprocated, landing several blows to Matthew Fox's face--breaking her hand in the process.
People! How many time must I tell you to NEVER mess with a Cleveland party bus driver? Especially if that driver is Heather Bormann. If I've said it once, I've said it enough.
Following his arrest, Fox was released into the custody of a friend. Heather Bormann, on the other hand, visited a hospital, and then told reporters, "This was my self-defense. This was the only way I could protect myself ... from a man beating up on a woman."
Bormann has yet to press charges against Fox.
Sidenote: Had I been on that party bus last weekend and a drunk Matthew Fox tried to get on board, i would have skooched over in my seat and said, "Here honey, sit next to me."
It's a fact, every straight man is a six-pack of beer--or less--away from being gay.
Just sayin'.

So, a month or so ago Jennifer Lopez was spotted out and about without her lapdog, Marc Anthony, and without her wedding ring as well. And then the couple announced they were getting divorced. Rumors swirled that Marc was too controlling or that JLo couldn't keep it in her pants--or maybe that's out of her pants--though the ex-couple denies both allegations.
Then, just last week rumors swirled that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett were quietly separating, and headed for divorce as well.
How do these two things mesh? Well, ALLEGEDLY Will “caught” Jada doing the dirty with Marc Anthony--who costars with Pinkett on something called 'HawthoRNe'--while Marc was still married to Lopez.
To be fair, Will and Jada are denying the report, telling the world that their marriage is still “intact” and there is speculation that Mr. and Mrs. Smith will sue. But apparently Life & Style isn’t afraid of the Smiths because they’ve got another story about Jada and Marc getting “close”.
An insider--and by insider I mean a gopher on the set of something called 'HawthoRNe'--says: “[Marc] and Jada got extremely close on the set...He said Jada was so sexy because she was in great shape and had this tough attitude, which he loves. And she loved his style — his acting, his mojo. She even brought Marc back as a series regular and made him the show’s music producer. Jennifer couldn’t have liked that.”
Hence the dumping, I guess.
But what about Will and Jada, and her ALLEGEDLY romping with Marc? Well, the Smiths seem to have a relatively open marriage, even by their own statements, so maybe Jada and Marc doing the nasty is just all part of a normal day for the Smiths.
But, and this is where it gets interesting, just this week Jada Pinkett was spotted out without Will or her wedding ring.
Coincidence?
Ask JLo and Marc.

7 comments:

  1. Looks like Shia LaBeouf is going to be another poster child for how not to raise a child in Hollywood.

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  2. Anonymous12:58 PM

    Too bad Shia LaBeouf is such a douche because he's a fairly decent actor and not hard on the eyes.

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  3. Anonymous2:00 PM

    You gotta love a Twitter fight between a never will be and a has been. Pass the popcorn.

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  4. 'A Drenched onlooker said' L O Fucking L!

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  5. Ohhhhh Matthew Fox, I would carried that man on my shoulders all the way home, had I been there. course I'd pick up a six pack along the way for good measure. :)

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  6. Aren't there always rumors about Will Smith being gay? I just don't think a marriage just ends with no reason. Anyway just sayin...

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