Thursday, September 15, 2011


I imagine that, somewhere, Joan Crawford is rolling over in her meticulously clean grave.

See, Joan's daughter--you know, that one--Christina is developing a one-woman Broadway show where she not only plans to reveal new secrets about her life with Mommie Dearest, but she will also be showing some home movie of La Crawford.


Bring me the ax!

Christina Crawford: “The Play is based on two of my books, the 30th Anniversary Edition of Mommie Dearest and my third book, Survivor -- both of which were best sellers. It covers a long period of time and a much more complete story.”

And a way to wire hanger Joan, I'm imagining.

Christina, who calls her mother Joan, and never mother, will be showing those recently discovered nudie movies of Joan's; naked home movies of Crawford that the controlling star never destroyed.

Joan Crawford. She invented the sex tape!

“I never knew that they existed before a year ago and never saw them before a month ago,” Christina says, "I remembered her telling me about her married lover, Charles McCabe; however I never saw photos of him, till the home movies, when they were hunting, fishing, and canoeing in The Poconos.”

Canoeing? is that what they called it then?

Christina, of course,  says she still cannot forgive her mother for the childhood she had to survive, which included being beaten by wire hangers: “Forgiveness is a two-way street and she never took responsibility for her behavior.”

And, of course, to forgive her mother wouldn't put any butts in the seats and isn't it all, and always, about making money off your dead mother?

Christina's "show-and-tell"--which she calls "Surviving Mommie Dearest"--will go on the road, before she, hopefully, takes it to Broadway.



Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

You already mentioned in the post, but I can't resist:


Robert-Kent said...

"Canoeing" sounds so Canadian like eh :-)

Wonder Man said...

That's very interesting