I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

Maggie Smith has said that this next season, the third, will be her last on Downton Abbey, and, well, at least one person will like it. And, no, it isn’t me; I loves me some Dowager countess.

But, the rumor mill is churning that, while Maggie’s character is beloved for her sharp wit and not-to-be-messed-with attitude, that Dame Maggie is much more like the Dowager Countess than we ever imagined.

It seems that the 77-year old actress has demanded that US producer Rebecca Eaton be fired from the show after Eaton ALLEGEDLY called Smith ‘difficult’.

Oh, no she di’in’t.

According to the Mirror—London’s sharper-toothed National Enquirer-- Eaton said in April: ‘Maggie Smith is a handful. She’s very difficult.’ And the Dame wasn’t having it. 

She was said to be so enraged by Eaton’s comments that she is unable to work with the woman ever again. And this has, naturally, caused an onset panic since Dame Maggie is one of the greatest assets of the show.

A source—and by source, I mean evil, gay valet Thomas—says, “Maggie made it clear that she no longer wanted to work with her. As a result, Eaton has been asked to stand down from the third series, and her name will be taken off the credit.”

Stand down? I love the Brits!

So, here’s the rule of thumb: never, ever mess with a Dame playing a Countess.

It’s a lose-lose.

Charlie Sheen is roaring back and acting more like the fool than ever before. Of course, he has a new TV show to promote, so, go figure.

Charlie's Beverly Hills' neighbors are coming after him, claiming that Sheen is partying very hard--quelle surprise--and very often--quelle surprise--until the wee hours of the morning at his mansion, and his guests leave their cars parked all over the street.

And, to prove that it’s all a drug-fueled party, Sheen’s ex-wife and serial rehabber, Brooke Mueller--on probation for a cocaine possession conviction--partied so hard at the actor’s home that she suffered a relapse, resulting in yet another trip to rehab.

Sheen’s neighbors are complaining that “there has been an abnormally high levels of activity at the house all hours of the night. Cars containing scantily clad women arrive very late in the evening and don’t leave until the next day. The women always appear to be wearing the same clothes they arrived in, and looking a little worse for the wear.”

Of course they’re worse for the wear. Think of what Charlie looks like and double that.

And, as if the noise and the cars and the lingerie wearing girls doing the walk of shame down the street aren’t bad enough, Charlie and his friends stand outside and smoke. And swear.

Yikes!

It seems the increase in partying is due to the fact that Sheen “isn’t working right now. Filming for his new television show, Anger Management is done for the first season of the show. Things always go awry with Charlie when he isn’t working.”

So, he has free time and a rather sizable paycheck, and hookers and dealers on speed dial. I’m wondering if the Charlie Sheen Death Clock will start up again.

But, let’s keep this light and sweet and end with a bit of Sheen poetry, which he sent to TMZ in response to reports that he is on another Winning Bender:

I can’t speak to anyone’s opinion or judgement.

I was there

they were not.

their tepid

hearsay is a baseless

static drone.

a mantra.

their theme.

I refuse to be held hostage by their ‘constitutional’

privelidge,

to judge those

who can and who do.

nabobs.

CS

Wow. Illiterate much.

JLo has got to be the dumbest woman in the world.

I mean, she’s also one of the richest, and, thanks to American idol for reviving her “career”, one of the most powerful.

But now she’s letting a boy young enough to be her son call the shots for her and it’s set off a power struggle between JLo’s ass, AKA Casper Smart, BoyToy Backup Dancer, and her longtime manager, Benny Medina.

And Medina is talking, albeit obliquely. He told Vogue a while back that JLo lets “obsessive guys pursue her” and that “the ease with which that obsession becomes a relationship I think sometimes works against her ability to have a real meaningful relationship.”

Ouch. Desperate much JLo.

Of course, because she’s already proposed a reality show for Casper to the Oxygen Network; she lets him drive her cars, puts him on an allowance so he can pay for things when they go out; bumped him up to be one of her lead choreographers; and allowed him free rein over her time on Idol.

That little boy must be something in the hay, eh?

And now JLo is taking business advice from the high school graduate. He is rumored to be telling JLo to ditch Idol next season and focus on other endeavors. Lopez even went so far as to let Casper attend a meeting with Idol executives, which he ALLEGEDLY screwed up, and could wind up costing her $10 million dollars and tens of fans.

He must be a good f**k, but he’s a stupid motherf***er.

First rule of male gigoloness: don’t mess with the client’s income.

Everyone has been focusing on Demi Moore of late, after he decades younger husband left her and she had that meltdown and entered rehab for some “mysterious” reasons—huffing?

So, it’s not much of a surprise that one of Demi’s children, Scout Willis is now acting up. Like mother, like daughter, I guess.

It looked for a while like Scout wouldn’t follow in the staggeringly drunken footsteps of other Hollywood offspring, by actually pursuing a higher education at Brown University. Turns out that is just a ruse.

Scout, who is only twenty, is just as “wild” as all the other celebrity kids. And, kinda stupid.

It seems she had a fake ID which she used all over New York to get into clubs and get all kinds of drunk and stuff, and one night, the cops busted her, asked for ID, and she showed them….the fake one! Now she’s in real trouble. She was arrested and then released on bail, though she will appear in Manhattan Criminal Court on July 31.

The celebu-spawn was arrested early in the evening—it was just 7 PM when she was getting her drunk on—after a transit cop spotted her sipping an 8-ounce Pakistani beer.

And she gave the officer a New York ID card with the name Katherine Kelly, but the cop wasn’t buying it. I mean, that chin? It’s says Willis all over it. So, Scout finally pulled out her real California ID.

“My name is Scout Willis,” she told the officer. “The first ID isn’t mine. My friend gave it to me. I don’t know Katherine Kelly.”

She was charged with criminal impersonation and breaking the open container law, both misdemeanors.

Now, I get using a fake ID. Lots of underage wannabe party animals do it. But, man, you never ever show the cops the fake ID. I mean, who are this girl’s parents? Yeah, Bruce Party Boy Willis and Demi Rehab Moore. You’d think she would have learned the ID lesson.

Oy.

Not much on Lindsay this week, except for the release of several pictures where she looks like Elizabeth Taylor; if Elizabeth Taylor was a crackwhore.

So, let’s get some Lohan 2.0, AKA Amanda Bynes, news.

She’s fun, like Lindsay.

See, after spending the spring in an endless cycle of nightclubs, driving while texting, hit-and-runs and arrests, Bynes issued a statement, via Twitter, about her tendency to drink-and-drive, and about her DUI charge. 

Oh, no she di’in’t.

Oh, yes, she did.

Lohan 2.0 actually Tweeted the President of the United States and asked him to fire the cop that arrested her.

Seriously. And she says she doesn’t drink, but this is one of the Drunkest Tweets I have ever seen. Not counting the time I Tweeted the Queen of England to pay my water bill, I mean. But, if she wasn’t drunk or high, she has got to be one of the biggest morons on the planet.

Lohan 2.0 Tweeted the Prez right after charges were filed against her for drinking-and-driving-and-hitting-and-running.

Yes, DUI. Doesn’t drink.

This misdemeanor DUI charge is related to her original arrest back in early April when she drunkenly smashed into a police car and then refused the Breathalyzer test.

See, she doesn’t drink, she just doesn’t know how to drive, "occifer".