Not Enough By A Long Shot

On May 30th, Kristin Orbin and her partner Teresa Rowe were in Fresno, for the Meet in the Middle 4 Equality rally, protesting the California Supreme Court's ruling upholding Proposition 8.

After marching 14 miles in the Central Valley heat, Orbin, an epileptic, collapsed; a doctor at a first aid center, unable to find her pulse, called 911, and that was when the trouble started. Orbin says the paramedics wanted nothing to do with her partner, Teresa, who had to practically fight them to be allowed in the ambulance.

"I remember one of them was very nice and agreed to let her ride with me in the back. Once we got to the hospital, they wheeled me into a hallway and left me, refusing to allow Teresa to be with me."

The paramedic allegedly told the nurse on duty at Fresno Community Hospital and Medical Center that Orbin had collapsed at the Meet In The Middle march, and the nurse gave her a dirty look. When Orbin asked if her partner could come to the examination room, she was told that she was in a No Visitor Zone.And when Orwbin asked her why everyone else had visitors, she said 'those people are different.'

Different as in straight, I guess. Or married, I suppose.

Teresa Rowe was forced to communicate with her partner, who was in the same building, via cell phone. Rowe asked the nurses not to give Orbin any Ativan because it causes severe migraines; they prescribed the Ativan anyway. The nurses refused to take Orbin's medical cards from Rowe, or have Orbin's advance directive and power of attorney faxed over from UCSF.

Orbin continued to ask that Rowe be allowed to stay with her, and each time she was denied. "They just kept looking at my Marriage Equality shirt and giving me dirty looks," she said. It was only hours later, when a doctor intervened, that Orbin and Rowe were reunited.

"He asked me why she wasn't already with me, and I told him the nursing staff told me I was in a no visitor zone. The doctor gave me an odd look and said, 'I will take care of that'. He left the room, and a few minutes later Teresa came in, but she said she was told by the front desk that she could only stay for a few minutes."

However, Orbin said the nursing staff acted quite differently when the doctor was present; Rowe was now allowed to stay.

"They finally figured out that we were not happy and one of the nurses came up and told Teresa that she could stay....Once she was back there people started being more kind to us, but I truly believe they were just trying to cover themselves."

The couple said they have never experienced such outright, in-your-face, discrimination, and were particularly upset that the hospital staff never acknowledged Rowe as her spouse.

"As I was laying there all alone, I wondered how many people from the LGBTQ community die by themselves because they are denied a basic right. The thought frightens me."

So, when people, gay or straight, tell you civil unions are enough, think about Kristen and Teresa. Think about how people united through civil unions are 'less than.' How they have to carry legal documents granting them the same rights that married couples take for granted. How they have to have advance directives and powers of attorney just to visit a loved one in the hospital; how they cannot make decisions for their spouse; how they cannot hold their spouses hand, or comfort them, or be comforted.

Still think civil unions are enough?

Think again.