Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Forty Things

I found this while wandering through UltraDave 1. My uncle once: had a dog named Pepe who would escape through open windows and charge through the neighborhood. 2. Never in my life: would I have thought I'd be living in a Red State. 3. When I was five: I was a tow-headed homosexual-in-waiting....only I didn't know it 4. High School was: torturous and I don't miss it one bit. 5. I will never forget: the smell of Mom's clam chowder on a rainy day. 6. I once met: Diana Ross. She actually pulled me onstage to dance with her at Caesar's Tahoe. 7. There’s this girl I know who: has a secret. 8. Once, at a bar: I danced on top of the bar. 9. By noon, I’m usually: ready for lunch. 10.Last night: Carlos and I finally started watching John Adams. 11. If only I had: mad skills, I could'a been a contendah! 12. Next time I go to church: I'll be the one in the veil? 13. Terry Schiavo: should have been allowed to die with dignity. 14. What worries me most: is losing Carlos. 15. When I turn my head left, I see: a small, fat dog asleep on a blanket. 16. When I turn my head right, I see: a photograph my father took of Bode--an old ghost town in California. 17. You know I’m lying when: I am speaking. Not that I lie, mind you, but I like to embellish a little here and there. It's called 'accessorizing the truth.' 18. What I miss most about the eighties: is walking into a club and hearing Scandal featuring Patti Smyth. 19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: . 20. By this time next year: I hope to have a publisher interested in my book. 21. A better name for me would be: La Princessa. It's what Carlos says when I stumble down the hall for breakfast: "Ooooooh, la princessa is awake." 22. I have a hard time understanding: hate and intolerance. (Thanks Dave, I took your answer for my own!) 23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: become more smarter. Huh? What? 24. You know I like you if: I speak to you, pick on you, joke with you. 25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: myself, because I won a dammed award. 26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: sound like a hillbilly law firm. 27. Take my advice, never: smoke. 28. My ideal breakfast is: sitting with Carlos, chatting, and watching the birds check out the bird feeders. 29. A song I love, but do not own is: D-I-V-O-R-C-E by Miss Tammy Wynette. 30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you tour the historic district; it's full of old houses and plantations from the 1700s and 1800s. 31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: are pretty, interesting, tiny and fast....in that order. 32. Why won’t people: simply be nice to one another? 33. If you spend the night at my house: you get a big comfy bed and a cat or three to sleep with you! 34. I’d stop my wedding for: the right to legally marry. 35. The world could do without: hatred. 36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be a Bush. 37. My favorite blonde is: Judy Holliday! 38: Paper clips are more useful than: those little Christmas ornament hooks. 39. If I do anything well, it’s: being polite. 40. And by the way: I am sarcastic as all get out, quick with a comeback, and one helluva cook.

3 comments:

  1. OMG!!! I got as far as "Scandal" and had to comment!!!! I FREAKINLOVED THEM!!!!! God, they were good, and now she's married to John Mackanro...who woulda thunk it?

    Bob, I tell ya....first there was My Tranny, and then Dan and Jimbo...now I have you. MY GAYS!!! I love ya sista! in your veil! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wooooo Hoooo!

    Thanks for making me "one of the gays" Beth.

    I.
    Have.
    Arrived.

    ReplyDelete

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