I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

I loves me some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Mainly because, after watching this season, and knowing that Camille Grammer was dumped by her husband, A-list [her words] star Kelsey Grammer, i wanted to see her knocked off the pedestal she built for herself out of solid gold and discarded silicone implants. And, because after watching this season while Camille talks about being very very wealthy, and owning seven, or is it eight homes, and having four nannies to care for her two children, and how she is on a different social level than her castmates, I know that before the last episode airs, all those pronouncements will be meaningless because Kelsey will have cut her loose.

I loves me some bitch smackdown.

But, it gets even better, because now, ALLEGEDLY, there is evidence that Mrs. Kelsey Grammer has a porn past. I mean, in addition to being a former stripper. See, ALLEGEDLY, there are pictures and comments about her not-so-flattering past floating around the Internet, and the culprits doing all the talk about Porn Camille, and Stripper Camille?

Her castmates on TRHoBN!

Dee-lish.

A source, and by source, I mean, one of Camille's former porn producers, or costars, says: "The Housewives discovered soft porn pictures of Camille online and sent the links to everybody they know." Emails entitled, "The Morally Corrupt Camille Donnatacci Grammer."

The emails contain links to a list of her film career, um, highlights. And, while it is no secret that Camille bared her enhanced boobage for Playboy, what was a secret was her roles in some 1990s erotica like Marilyn Chambers Bedtime Stories and The Naked Detective.

Now, this may be old news, and it may be no one's business, but, I love the fact that Camille has held herself up to be a glamorous Hollywood wife, or, ahem, ex-wife, of an A-list [again, her words] star, when all the while she has this less than elegant past.

Now comes word that, in addition to having her high-powered lawyers wring as much of Kelsey's Frasier money as they can, she set her lawyers on Bravo and renegotiated her contract so that she can leave the show whenever she wants whether she fulfills her contract or not.

Camille won't make a decision until, oh, I dunno, her divorce is final and she has the fifty million and no longer needs Bravo TV.

Well, that doesn't take long.

It was about ten minutes ago that Eva Longoria Parker filed for divorce from her somewhat cheating husband Tony Parker, dropped the Parker from her name, and moved on.

And now it seems that the Desperate Housewives star is dating, and perhaps shacking up with Penelope Cruz's little brother, Eduardo Cruz.

According to sources, and by sources, I mean Teri Hatcher, the new couple spent Christmas together at Eva Longoria-No-Longer-Parker's home; and it doesn't seem like it was a one-time visit.

Teri Hatcher--okay, maybe not Teri Hatcher, but, okay, Teri Hatcher: "He's there at least three nights out of every four." Teri goes on to say that the couple shuns the limelight since Eva split from her husband just eight weeks ago. She must have been devastated because it took her an entire four weeks before she could move on.

Of course, according to Longoria's representatives, in typical Hollywood-speak, the two are "just friends."

ALLEGEDLY with benefits.

New Couple Alert!

Collagen-lipped Meg Ryan is dating John Mellencamp.

Wow! Never saw that coming.

But what's most interesting is that the duo ALLEGEDLY began dating minutes after Mellencamp announced his separation from Elaine Irwin, his wife of 18 years. It seems everyone is shocked, except Meg's close friends.

A friend, and by friend, I mean jealous neighbor with too much time on her hands, says: "Meg has liked John for a long time, and they are very comfortable together. They already looked like an old married couple when they strolled through [New York's] West Village or spent time on Martha's Vineyard."

The friend goes on to say that Ryan and Mellencamp "don't care what people say. They are in love."

In love is nice, but in love while one half of the couple is married isn't so much. Especially since Meg Ryan admitted that her ex-husband cheated on her during their marriage and how it devastated her. ALLEGEDLY, though, Meg holds herself to a different standard.
The friend, and you've got to love a friend who loves to talk about you behind your back, says: "Meg has a thing for famous men. But [John] is great with her adopted daughter [Daisy True] and has even met her son with Dennis [Jack Henry]. As far as Meg is concerned, life is too short to not grab happiness when it comes along. She has nothing to prove to anyone."

Nope, but once a cheater always a cheater, so she might want to keep an eye on Mellencamp.

And he may want to keep an eye on her.

You know, I love some Courtney Love drama.

And it seems that the wack-a-doo Miss Love has once again found herself at the center of a legal frenzy. But, since Courtney likes to go overboard, this new legal snafu is being called "groundbreaking" and just might set a legal precedent for whether celebrities--or anyone, really--can be found libel for intentionally putting untrue or defamatory statements on social networks like Twitter and Facebook.

Yup, Courtney is in trouble for Twittering. Possibly Drunk Twittering, or more likely Stoned Twittering.
Love is being sued by fashion designer Dawn Simorangkir, who says that a stream of insulting and false Tweets from Courtney's pie-Hole [See what I did there? Love is the lead singer of Hole? Pie-hole? Okay, moving on] destroyed her reputation and cost her millions in lost revenue.

Love's Tweets ALLEGEDLY named Simorangkir "a drug-pushing prostitute with a history of assault and battery who lost custody of her own child and capitalized on Love's fame before stealing from her."

Oh, Courtney! Pot.Kettle.Lunatic.

The lawsuit goes before a judge and jury in LA this month and represents the first defamation suit brought against a celebrity because of comments made on Twitter. The case is of particular importance because it will establish whether a public figure's comments on Twitter should be held to the same libel laws that apply to the news media or if tweets should be given, as defamation expert Alonzo Wickers says, "the same latitude as an op-ed piece or a letter to the editor."

Simorangkir plans to call a social media expert to the stand, and will ALLEGEDLY introduce into evidence e-mails and recorded phone calls made by Love which prove Courtney felt remorse about the tweets and knew what she was doing was wrong.

Love, of course, says she didn't do anything wrong, and that she was just repeating things Simorangkir had said to her. I know how that goes; may is the time I've said to a friend that I'm a "drug-pushing prostitute with a history of assault and battery who lost custody of my own child and capitalized on Love's fame before I stole from her."

Yeah, I ought to stop doing that.

TLC is rapidly proving itself to be the spot where television goes to die.

The home to media-whore and bad mother Kate Gosselin, and the home to paid political commercial for Mama Grizzly Bore's political future, has now become home to a reality show featuring ALLEGED crystal meth head, and certifiable homosexual and pastor fallen from grace, Ted Haggard's new reality show.

Really TLC? Gosselin? Palin? Haggard? Is there no end to the bottom of your barrel?

Apparently not, because disgraced evangelist Ted Haggard, who lost his mega-church-money-machine following a male prostitute and crystal meth-fueled scandal, has scored a one-hour reality special on TLC.

Called Ted Haggard: Scandalous.

The show will ALLEGEDLY show how the pastor and his family rebuilt their lives since his epic fall from a meth high, and a male massage table back in '06. And it will, forgive me for laughing, and throwing up a little, serve as a public relations device and document his announcement of a new ministry in Colorado Springs.

Straight out of Ted Haggard's male-genitalia-loving mouth: "My family and I endured the darkest hours imaginable in the public spotlight, and have spent the last four years fighting and struggling to rebuild our lives, our faith and our family."

And what better way to complete our healing than sell ourselves on TV!