I Didn't Say It ....

Sarah Huckabee Sanders,  White House Press Liar, on  how she’d like to be remembered:

“I hope that it will be that I showed up every day and I did the very best job that I could to put forward the president’s message [and did] the best job that I could to answer questions. To be transparent and honest throughout that process and do everything I could to make America a little better that day than it was the day before.”

First off, you wanna be remembered for “showing up”? Big goals, girl.

Secondly, go away first and then see how you’re remembered.

Thirdly, that whole honest and transparent thing? Bitch.Please.

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John Brennan, former CIA Director, on _____’s saying allegations of campaign finance violations were just a “private transaction”:

“Whenever you send out such inane tweets, I take great solace in knowing that you realize how much trouble you are in & how impossible it will be for you to escape American justice. Mostly, I am relieved that you will never have the opportunity to run for public office again.”

Preach!

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Barbara Bollier, Kansas GOP state Senator, announced she is now a Democrat due to the anti-transgender language in the Republican Party platform:

“Morally, the party is not going where my compass resides. I’m looking forward to being in a party that represents the ideals that I do, including Medicaid expansion and funding our K-12 schools.” 

Bollier had been publicly at odds with GOP leadership in recent months because of her support of Democrats Tom Niermann and Laura Kelly in the Kansas 3rd Congressional District and gubernatorial elections, and so the Republicans in the state house stripped her of her committee assignments.

Cuz they’re hate-filled bitches, you know.

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Rex Tillerson, former Secretary of State, on _____:

“What was challenging for me coming from the disciplined, highly process-oriented Exxon Mobil corporation to go to work for a man who is pretty undisciplined, doesn’t like to read, doesn’t read briefing reports, doesn’t like to get into the details of a lot of things, but rather just kind of says, ‘This is what I believe.’ So often, the president would say, ‘Here’s what I want to do, and here’s how I want to do it’ and I would have to say to him, ‘Mr. President, I understand what you want to do, but you can’t do it that way. It violates the law.”

I’d have a bit more respect for Tillerson if he’d spoken up sooner.

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_____, Tweeting his innocence in the Russia probe … again:

“Democrats can’t find a Smocking [sic] Gun tying the _____ campaign to Russia after James Comey’s testimony. No Smocking [sic] Gun…No Collusion …That’s because there was NO COLLUSION. So now the Dems go to a simple private transaction, wrongly call it a campaign contribution,…….which it was not (but even if it was, it is only a CIVIL CASE, like Obama’s – but it was done correctly by a lawyer and there would not even be a fine. Lawyer’s liability if he made a mistake, not me). Cohen just trying to get his sentence reduced. WITCH HUNT!”

God, desperation is an ugly thing, especially on a bloated orange blob who can’t effing spell.

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Donny Deutsch, mocking, or is it smocking, _____’s “pathetic” tweeting on Morning Joe:

“He’s probably watching now as he’s eating his Count Chocula. He knows a ‘smocking’ gun is pointed at him. These tweets will become more and more imbecilic, they’re going to make less and less sense. He’ll talk to his 30 percent, 35 percent — ‘take to the streets they are trying to get rid of your president.’ That’s all that’s left for him. You’re going to see unhinged like we’ve never seen before. He feels it, you can see he feels it — it’s pathetic.”

That’s the _____ presidency in a word: pathetic.

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Kathy Griffin, keeping that whole ‘woe is me’ thing alive:

“Yes, I took a photo that changed my life irrevocably. That was one thing. Because the walls caved in on me, and the accidental president – it’s an accident– he tweeted at me that, you know, my– he tweeted against me, which made everything cancel in my life, basically. I was in the middle of a 50-city tour, and within 12 hours I had not one single day of work ahead of me. And, by the way, to this day, I do not have one single day of paid work ahead of me. So I’ve been digging myself out of this rabbit hole for last year and a half. And the next day I got a call from one of my attorneys that the Department of Justice – and a lot of people don’t know this part – were putting me under a two-month federal investigation and considering charging me with the crime of – this is real – conspiracy to assassinate the president of the United States. So a lot of people thought you know I got a call from the Secret Service or got in fake Hollywood trouble. But, no, this is real-life trouble…I was on the no-fly list for two months. So then they wanted me to go downtown to the police precinct and they wanted get video of what’s called the perp walk. And this was coming – I’m assuming – directly from the Oval Office and Jeff Sessions. That’s where your tax dollars went, everybody, investigating Kathy Griffin. Mr. Cooper said I was disgusting, and I lost about 75% of my friends that never came back. And it was hard.”

I used to lime Griffin. I think she’s smart. But I don’t think she knew the picture would have the effect it did, but when it did, she whipped out the victim card.

And has been running with it ever since.

Siddown.

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Camila Cabello, singer, on rumors she would play Maria in Steven Spielberg’s upcoming West Side Story reboot: 

“I don’t think so… I know exactly who I am, and I know what I want to do. I’m just not ready to give up that voice for something else right now.”

Bitch, please; you expect anyone to believe that Steven Spielberg asked you to star in one of his films, and you were all, ‘I think I have something better to do.’

Take a seat; the clock is ticking down on your fifteen minutes.

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I Didn't Say It ...

John Oliver, Last Week Tonight host, on Giuliani’s ‘Truth isn’t truth’ line:

“You just said ‘truth isn’t truth!’ That’s not acceptable from a president’s lawyer. It’s barely acceptable from a sophomore philosophy major who just tried molly for the first time: Truth isn’t truth, man—and also, toes are just feet-fingers. I feel warm.”

Rudy on Molly! That explains everything!

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John Berman, CNN, also on Giuliani’s ‘Truth isn’t truth’ line:

“I’m declaring it is not Monday, and it’s not because I say it’s not. I’m giving myself this new presidential power that Rudy Giuliani just created yesterday. Monday isn’t Monday. The sky is not blue. Water isn’t wet. And truth is not truth. The President’s lawyer actually declared this in the latest edition to the ‘Things Said Out Loud’ file. He said it trying to explain why he doesn’t want the President to testify to the special counsel. Giuliani is intentionally trying to create some new world of relative factuality. That world is like the misbegotten spawn of Lewis Carroll’s Through The Looking Glass and George Orwell’s 1984. Actually, we should leave Orwell out of this. All he said was ‘ignorance is strength.’ He wouldn’t have the guts to say ‘truth isn’t truth.’ That’s too much for Orwell. Truth isn’t truth fits nicely in the same solar system as ‘alternative facts.’ Actually, I shouldn’t use the phrase ‘solar system’ because we all know there is no sun. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. He’s not there. Which is why it is NOT Monday.”

He isn’t there; there’s no there there.

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John Brennan, former CIA director, whose security clearance was revoked by _____, on ____ to Rachel Maddow:

“The fact that he’s using a security clearance of a former CIA director as a pawn in his public relations strategy I think is just so reflective of somebody who, quite frankly, I don’t want to use this term maybe, but he’s drunk on power. He really is, and I think he’s abusing the powers of that office. I think right now, this country is in a crisis in terms of what Mr. Trump has done and is liable to do. And so, are the Republicans on the Hill — who have given him a pass — going to wait for a disaster to happen before they actually find their backbones and spines, to speak up against somebody who clearly, clearly is not carrying out his responsibilities with any sense of purpose and common sense from the standpoint of national security?”

After Brennan’s clearance was revoked, thirteen former senior intelligence officials signed a letter denouncing _____’s actions.

And word is that _____, butt hurt as all get out, has drafted more documents to revoke clearances from people and roll them out when media coverage of him is not favorable.

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William McRaven, retired Navy admiral who oversaw Bin Laden raid tells _____ to revoke his security clearance:

“Former CIA director John Brennan, whose security clearance you revoked on Wednesday, is one of the finest public servants I have ever known. Few Americans have done more to protect this country than John. He is a man of unparalleled integrity, whose honesty and character have never been in question, except by those who don’t know him. Therefore, I would consider it an honor if you would revoke my security clearance as well, so I can add my name to the list of men and women who have spoken up against your presidency. Like most Americans, I had hoped that when you became president, you would rise to the occasion and become the leader this great nation needs.”

Rise to the occasion?

Hope floats, but sh*t sinks.

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Michael Williams, Georgia state Senator, who recently lost the GOP gubernatorial primary, on _____ and the N-word:

“He has his personal beliefs, his personal ideas. But I truly believe he is able to separate those from how he is running the country. He did not use the N-word as the office of the president. He used it outside in his personal life. If he was president and he goes on TV and uses the N-word, then yes, I would have a major problem with that. But he did it before he was president [so] I don’t have a problem with Donald _____ having used it in the past as my president. Just because he used it years ago, in the past, not as our president, doesn’t mean we need to continue to berate him because he used it. And also, let’s go back in time. How old is Donald _____? 70? Sixty, fifty years ago, we were not in the society we’re in now. People freely used that word.”

Spoken like a true racist.

Most of us, asshat, know that times change and words that were acceptable years ago are acceptable today no matter who says them, and the fact that _____ said that word—and I’ve no doubt he did—speaks to his innate racism and lack of character.

And that also speaks to yours.

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Jimmy Carter, on _____:

“I think he’s a disaster. In human rights and taking care of people and treating people equal. I think there’s been an attitude of ignorance toward the truth by President _____. [The Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision has] changed our political system from a democracy to an oligarchy. Money is now preeminent. I mean, it’s just gone to hell now.”

Bravo, sir, bravo!

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John David Washington, when an interviewer brings up that he is “the son of Denzel Washington”:

“…And Pauletta Washington—who was earning more money than he was when they married … before they got married, she was on Broadway working. She paid for the first date. She paid the bill, paid the cab ride. She was a classically trained pianist, went to Juilliard … She’s a great artist in her own right and I learned a lot from her. My father taught me how to hunt, my mother taught me how to love.”

Nicely said, because he isn’t who he is because he’s Denzel’s son, he’s who he is because he’s Denzel and Pauletta’s child,

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