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Jair Bolsonaro, President of Brazil, proving he’s the world’s biggest asshat in a recent speech on the pandemic: “All anyone talks about these days is the pandemic. We need to stop that. I regret the deaths. I really do. But we’re all going to die someday. There’s no use fleeing reality. We have to stop being a country of fags. We have to face up to it and fight. I hate this faggot stuff.” Bolsonaro, like his BFF _____, has consistently downplayed the virus that has killed 163,000 people in Brazil, and so, clearly, calling people concerned with the pandemic “fags” is the right choice. Asshat. |
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| John Oliver, Last Week Tonight host, on the celebrations after the election results: “This was clearly a very long, very tense week although thankfully it all felt worth it due to how it ended. There was a mood here that can only be described as a reverse 9/11, because it combined complete euphoria, an abiding disgust for Rudy Giuliani, and this time, people were actually dancing on the rooftops in New Jersey. It was a really good day. Never forget.” On 9/11 _____said Muslims were dancing in Jersey, but all of Jersey, and Manhattan, and much of the world, was dancing on 11/7. |
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| Neil Cavuto, FOX News host, cutting away from Kayleigh McEnaney, AKA Bullshit Barbie, after she repeated, without evidence, _____’s lies about illegal voting: “Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. She’s charging the other side is welcoming fraud and welcoming illegal voting. Unless she has more details to back that up, I can’t in good countenance continue showing you this. I want to make sure that maybe they do have something to back that up. But that is an explosive charge to make that the other side is effectively rigging and cheating. If she does bring proof of that of course we will take you back.” Nice to see a Fox host not pandering to the _____ lying machine. |
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| Tucker Carlson, Fox News host and ______’s bitch, scolded Cavuto and Fox News, for cutting away from Bullshit Barbie: “In a democracy, you cannot ignore honest questions from citizens. You’re not allowed. You can’t dismiss them out of hand as crazy or immoral for asking. You can’t just cut away from coverage you don’t like. You can’t simply tell people to accept an outcome because force doesn’t work in a democracy. That’s dictatorship.” You can, Fucker, when there is no proof of fraud. Just because you say it doesn’t make it true, in fact, it more than likely makes it a lie. |
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| Jason Chaffetz, Fox News commentator and former GOP Congressman, pissy because Joe didn’t mention _____ in his speech: “There is not a single state in the United States that has certified their election yet. So you know, you can have a crying Stephen Colbert putting on an act — because he is an actor — saying he was just so saddened by this, but I never saw them crying about Donald _____. Donald _____, when he won, his victory speech, first he did was thank and honor Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden in his speech last night never even mentioned Donald _____ directly. Did not thank him for his service. Did not honor Donald Trump and all the success he had in this country. He didn’t even do that. And so, you know, carts before the horse here. You have got to go through. The president has legal avenues.” What service? When he lied and dodged the draft? What success? When he had the taxpayers pay out $144,000,000 for him to golf? Fuck all the way off. |
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| Charles Payne, Fox Business host, saying we all should thank _____ for Pfizer’s COVID-19 vaccine: “I am finding the timing curious. It’s frustrating. What I thought was intriguing is on the Biden website, it says ‘Operation Warp Speed lacks a strategy to see its mission through and gain the trust of Americans.’ Well, I wonder what they’re going to say today? Are they going to tell people not to take this vaccine that Pfizer is saying 90% effective? Are they going to say wait? I mean this is absolutely remarkable stuff. Credit where credit is due; President _____, he really did push hard on this. Who knows, if it came a week earlier it might have changed the outcome, but it is great news for all Americans.” Two things asshat: even if the news came out last week, _____ is responsible for the deaths of 230,000+ Americans. And secondly, Pfizer noted that not only did they take any federal money for their vaccine, they were never part of Operation Warp Speed. So, to sum it up: Charles Payne is a lying moron. |
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| Van Jones, CNN commentator, tearing up talking about Biden’s win: "This is vindication for a lot of people who have really suffered. You know, 'I can't breathe?' that wasn't just George Floyd. That was how a lot of people have felt. They couldn't breathe. Every day you are waking up, and you are getting these tweets, and you don't know. And you go into the store, and people who have been afraid to show their racism are getting nastier and nastier to you. And you are worried about your kids. And you are worried about your sister. Can she go to Walmart and get back into her car without somebody saying something to her. And you spent so much of your life energy just trying to hold it together. The character of the country matters. Being a good man matters. I want my sons to look at this. It is easy to do it the cheap way and get away with stuff. It comes back around. And it is a good thing for this country." It make take us a long time to get to even being close to what it was like pre-_____, and let’s be clear, that wasn’t perfect by a country mile, but at least we’re moving in the right direction. |
