I Didn't Say It

Cyndi Lauper, singer, activist and LGBTQ+ ally, thanking President Biden for signing the Respect for Marriage Act:

“I came here because I wanted to say thank you to President Biden, Speaker Pelosi, Vice President Harris and all the advocates and his team for all families—mine and a lot of my friends and people you know … we can rest easy tonight because our families are validated, and because now we’re allowed to love who we love.”

And right after saying this Lauper was attacked on social media for praising equality for same-sex couples and interracial couples.

And folks wonder why we fight.

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John Avlon, CNN, on Marjorie Taylor Greene saying if she had planned the insurrection “we would have won”:

“She was playing to the crowd. But what she is basically saying is what we’ve been pointing out: without accountability, failed insurrections are just practice. She’s saying they would have succeeded, and they would have come armed. And that’s a statement with real weight if you’re a member of Congress. That’s an endorsement of violent sedition. Make no mistake about it.”

Greene should have been run out of Congress for suggesting she’d be in favor of, and probably attend, an armed attack on our government.

Traitorous ignorant bitch.

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Andrew Hartzler, nephew of crying anti-marriage equality GOP lunatic Vicky Hartzler:

“Aunt Vicky, that’s just not right. Institutions of faith like religious universities are not being silenced. They’re being empowered by the U.S. government to discriminate against tens of thousands of LGBTQ students because of religious exemptions, but they still receive federal funding. It’s more like you want the power to force your religious beliefs onto everyone else and because you don’t have that power you feel like you’re being silenced, but you’re not.”

Sadly, Aunt Vicky is too blinded by her ignorance, masked as faith, to ever see the truth, but good on Andrew for taking her to task.

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Kirk Cameron, former childish actor and current butt-hurt religious wingnut, whining on Fox:

“One of the things I love about our country is its commitment to the sharing of knowledge and the free expression of ideas. That is why I’m excited to bring Brave Books Story Hour to public libraries across the country. Unfortunately, though many of these libraries gladly hosted the ‘Drag Queen Story Hour,’ several have refused to let me read about biblical wisdom from my new children’s book, ‘As You Grow.’ Today, I sent a letter to the directors of the Indianapolis Public Library and Scarsdale Public Library asking for the same opportunity the drag queens had this year to use a room in their libraries so I can read my new book and talk about love, joy and gentleness—character traits I think we all want to see in our children. I hope these libraries welcome me to Indiana and New York—but should they refuse to rent me a room, like those used by drag queens in June, I am prepared to assert my rights under the Constitution in court.”

Hey Kirk, you asshat, if the library doesn’t want you there, that’s their right. And please let us all know when you’ll stand up for Drag Queen Story Hours since you seem upset that they were allowed to read to the kids. And lastly, fix the pedophile situation in organized religion and protect children inside churches before you come for the libraries.

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Neal Bledsoe, actor, standing up for his beliefs and ending his affiliation with anti-same-sex marriage Great American Media and Kirk Cameron’s little bigoted sister, Candace Cameron Bure:

“My life wouldn’t be where it is today without the love, support, and guidance of the LGBTQIA+ community. From my mentors in college, to the myriad of agents and managers, writers and directors, teachers and colleagues, and, of course, my dear friends and family, who have all touched my life, I owe them a great debt. As someone who struggled as a young man with our society’s extremely narrow definition of masculinity, it was their community that provided me with refuge and a guiding light when my life felt lost. And now, if I cannot stand up for that community in their time of need, my debt to them means nothing. So, I want to be very clear: my support for the LGBTQIA+ community is unconditional—nothing is worth my silence or their ability to live and love freely in a world that we are lucky enough to share with them. I cannot continue with business as usual. I cannot take comfort from, nor will I give refuge to, those who excuse exclusion and promote division in any way, shape, or form. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and these are mine: the recent comments made by leadership at Great American Family are hurtful, wrong, and reflect an ideology that prioritizes judgment over love. I was raised as a Christian and believe in the essential message of love and forgiveness. That said, I could never forgive myself for continuing my relationship with a network that actively chooses to exclude the LGBTQIA+ community. It galls me to think that some among us are still finding ways to justify a crueler world under the cloak of faith, tradition, or, even worse, audience share.”

Bledsoe is one of many actors who seemingly left the Hallmark Channel for Great American Family. He made just two films for the network in 2022 before Candace Cameron Bure took over as creative director and said there would be no same-sex marriages, or relationships on the network, just ‘traditional’ ones.

Good on Bledsoe for standing up against hate masked as religious belief.

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Bobservations

One day at the grocery store Carlos asked if I had a shopping list. I told him that since we only needed a few things, I made a note on my phone of what was needed. He didn’t know how that worked, so I showed him.

Cut to New Year’s Eve day. We’re at the grocery store again buying things for Carlos’ New Year’s Day dinner—Leg of Lamb, Mashed Veggie Potatoes, Brussels Sprouts and Chocolate Cake … que delicioso—and he had created a list on his phone. Before leaving home, however, I added a couple of things, one of which, as I typed it into his phone, was “bubby.” You know, for a midnight toast.

At the store we went about our business and got all the things we needed and then, just before checking out, Carlos says:

“Forgot something, I’ll be right back.”

I wait, and he returns with a Boboli pizza crust.

“What’s that for?”

“Uh, it was on the list! You wrote it … ‘bubbly.’”

“Yes, honey, ‘bubbly’ as in champagne, or Prosecco, not bubbly as in Boboli which is a pizza crust and not something you toast the New year with.”

“Oh … should I put it back?”

Happy New Year!

Tuxedo once again nails the inherent racism of our current Racist-In-Chief. He, like his Daddies, is so ready for January 20^th.

Just before Christmas, the West Hollywood City Council decided—three in favor, two against—to rename the local West Hollywood Library after late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Why anyone would vote against this is beyond me, but idiocy does abound. In addition, renaming of the library is not finalized by the vote; the Public Facilities Commission must weigh the proposal before the official decision is made, and since the library is part of the LA County library system, which means they would have to confer with them to make the change.

If finalized, the name would become the Ruth Bader Ginsburg West Hollywood Library.

Do the right thing.

According to reports from Prestwick airport near Donald _____’s Turnberry Resort in Scotland that they are to expect the arrival of a US military 757 aircraft, that is occasionally used by _____, on January 19 fueling speculation that the Impeached, One-Term, Lame-duck Loser will skip Joe Biden’s inauguration and instead flee to Scotland.

Good, I say, except … earlier this week, due to a second- or third wave of COVID, Scotland has closed its borders.

I’m kinda thinking Scotland made that up to keep the con man out of the country.

Failed ReTHUGlican congressional candidate George Santos took to social media over the weekend to whine and cry that both he and his fiancé and their four dogs were forced to flee their home, and that his fiancé, a pharmacist, lost his job, after the New York Times published an article stating that Santos had attended _____’s maskless New Year’s Eve gala at Mar-a-Lago.

Sorry, Superspreader, not sorry.

And speaking of Superspreaders, former TV star, and religious wingnut Kirk Cameron hosted a large gathering on a California beach on New Year’s Eve to pray “for our nation,” defying that state’s stay-at-home orders and marking the third time in several weeks he’s hosted or attended such an event amid a surge in coronavirus cases.

Cameron was joined by dozens of people at Point Mugu State Park in Ventura County for a “Sunset Singing and Prayer Event” and said:

“We are inviting you to join us in prayer for our nation. If you want to wear masks, we welcome masks. If you If you want to spread out with your family, there’s plenty of room here. Remember, you’re in charge of your healthcare. Use wisdom, common sense and good judgment with that.”

Put it in God’s hands then, and if any of you get sick, talk to God about healthcare and leave the doctors and nurses and hospitals for the people who do the right thing.

Now, I have been drunk in my life; really, really drunk. But I ain’t never been this drunk …

Thomas Dodd, a bar worker in the U.K. got so sh*t-faced over the holidays that he legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

Seriously. How drunk you gotta be for that? He now says:

“During lockdown I’ve been watching a lot of live concerts on the TV. I can only think I’ve been watching one of hers and had a great idea after a few drinks.”

He believes that, while he was drunk, he went online, filled out the form to change his name, and paid the 89 GBP ($120 U.S.) fee and then forgot about it when he woke up. Several days later, he got paperwork in the mail that said that he had legally changed his name to Celine Dion.

His one worry: that he doesn’t get pulled over by the police for anything.

That’s his one worry? Perhaps he needs to add binge-drinking to the list because Celine Dion ­also ordered a snow machine while drunk.

Carlos and I are huge Jeopardy fans, and were saddened upon learning last fall that Alex Trebek, who’d been battling pancreatic cancer, had passed away. We heard that he wanted his final shows to be aired and this week is the last five. Monday night, with just a few days left to live, he opened the show with this:

“You’ll recall that about a month ago, I asked all of you to take a moment to give thanks for all of the blessings that you enjoy in your lives. Now, today, a different kind of message. This is the season of giving. I know you want to be generous with your family, your friends, your loved ones. But today, I’d like you to go one step further. I’d like you to open up your hands and open up your hearts to those who are still suffering because of COVID-19. People who are suffering through no fault of their own. We’re trying to build a gentler, kinder society and if we all pitch in—just a little bit—we’re gonna get there.”

Hearing this from a man battling cancer, and who was in his final days, is both chilling and heartwarming.

Trebek’s final episode airs tomorrow night and will include “a special tribute to the life and work of the man who captained America’s Favorite Quiz Show with skill, style, and sophistication for 36+ years.”

RIP Alex.

This is Christian Reniery Santamaría. That name alone makes me tingle. Christian is a retired Honduran football/soccer turned model. But he’s not your ordinary twenty-something model. Christian is forty-eight and hotter than men half his age.

He got a body for sin … at least that’s what’s going through my mind.

And anyone who can rock those suits, and a pair of skivvies, can rock my world. That’s all.

I Didn't Say It ...

George Clooney, actor/activist, on Steve Bannon, former advisor to _____, calling himself a “street fighter”:

“I like picking fights. I like that Breitbart News wants to have my head. I’d be ashamed 10 years from now if those weaselly little putzes, whose voices are getting a lot higher every week as this presidency starts to look worse and worse weren’t still [after me]. Steve Bannon is a failed f**ing screenwriter, and if you’ve ever read [his] screenplay, it’s unbelievable. Now, if he’d somehow managed miraculously to get that thing produced, he’d still be in Hollywood, still making movies and licking my ass to get me to do one of his stupid-ass screenplays.”

Steve Bannon licking George Clooney’s ass? Oy. Especially when you realize that Bannon has had his lips pressed to _____ rump for the last couple of years.

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Kirk Cameron, on God’s lovingly murderous wrath

“One thing we know about hurricanes — and all weather — is that this is not Mother Nature in a bad mood. This is a spectacular display of God’s immense power. And when He puts His power on display, it’s never without reason. There’s a purpose. And we may not always understand what that purpose is, but we know it’s not random. And we know that weather is sent to cause us to respond to God in humility, awe, and repentance.”

And that’s a Christian’s view of God ... who will kill you to humble you.

No wonder I don’t believe ...

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Joe Biden, former Vice President—and next President?—blasting “Education Secretary” Betsy DeVos' plan to rescind sexual assault reporting procedures on college campus:

"Sexual assault is the ultimate abuse of power, and its pernicious presence in our schools is unacceptable. Policies that do not treat this epidemic with the utmost seriousness are an insult to the lives it has damaged and the survivors who have worked so hard to make positive change. Students have taken on this fight. Keep fighting. Tell this administration that we refuse to go backwards. We will have succeeded when no woman who is abused ever instinctively asks the question, 'What did I do?’”

Again ... run, Joe, run ... or, aththe very least, keep turning the screws on this corrupt administration.

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Tucker Carlson, Fox News lapdog, fuming that Tony Perkins’ hate group, Family Research Council, has been labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center:

“Well, to call someone a hate group is to lump them in, in the popular mind, in my mind anyway, with like Nazis and crazy people, violent people, truly scary people….You would think that any normal reporter, no matter how liberal, would be looking through the list of hate groups, so-called hate groups​​, and say, “You know, OK, some of them are clearly hateful and crazy.” And then they get to the Family Research Council, and you say, “I may not agree with their agenda, but they are not a hate group.” Why does nobody at say CNN or The Washington Post ever think this is overreach? It is not a hate group. It is a Christian group.”

Let me make this queer for you, Fucker, er, Tucker: the FRC hates The Gays and wants to do whatever it can to deny us equality because we are gay. They hate The Gays, hence they are a hate group.

Now, siddown.

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Brian Austin Green, 90210 alum, to those who raged when his wife, Megan Fox, posted a photo on her Instagram account showing their son Noah dressed as Queen Elsa from Frozen:

“He’s four and I’ve heard from some people that they don’t agree. They don’t agree with him wearing dresses. To them I say, ‘I don’t care.’ He’s four and if he wants to wear it, then he wears it. And it’s dresses or goggles, or slippers, whatever. I feel like at four or five, that’s the time when he should be having fun. He’s not harming anyone wearing a dress. So, if he wants to wear a dress, awesome. Good on him.”

Bravo, sir; if he wears a dress because he’s questioning his gender identity or expressing his gender identity, why stifle it. If he wears a dress because he’s expressing creativity, why stifle it.

He’s a kid and all the haters need to keep moving.

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Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State and presidential candidate, saying she won’t pursue the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination:

“I am done with being a candidate, but I am not done with politics because I literally believe that our country’s future is at stake. We have a reality show that leads to the election of a president. He ends up in the Oval Office. He says, ‘Boy, it’s so much harder than I thought it would be. This is really tough. I had no idea.’ Well, yeah, because it’s not a show. It’s real. It’s reality, for sure.”

I am glad—and I hope she means it—that she’s done; I am also glad that she will continue to speak up and out in the political arena, but, yeah, her time has come and gone.

Oh, and Bernie, if you’re listening, take a note.

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John Oliver, host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight, catching up with all things _____ after his vacation:

“His 35-year-old daughter calls him ‘Daddy’ and he likes it. That is just one of those facts that on some level I already knew I just never wanted to have confirmed. ... [And] he’s all over the place. Dreamers have to go. Or maybe they can come back. Or maybe they don’t have to go at all. And in the meantime, 800,000 people’s lives are in the balance….It is actually really ironic that he is taking such a hard line against Dreamers. Because this guy is clearly out of his f**king mind.”

Word.

And yeah, ‘Daddy’? Ick.

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Ted Cruz, on that Twitter ‘Like’ heard around the world:

“There are a number of people on the team who have access on the account. It appears that someone inadvertently hit the ‘like’ button. When we discovered the post, which was I guess an hour or two later, we pulled it down. It was a staffing issue, and it was inadvertent.”

So, someone, not Ted Cruz, a Bible thumping Republican—and we know those folks don’t go for porn :::wink wink:::—“inadvertently” liked a porn tweet?

Gurl please. No one buys that, except maybe your wife.

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Jimmy Kimmel, on Ted Cruz’s “Like” of Twitter porn, and the excuses that followed:

“It was a video from a genre known as ‘stepmom porn.’ Just think, if only he’d done something this perverted during the campaign he might be president right now. I have four theories. Number 1, someone on his staff was browsing porn on Twitter and accidentally liked it. Number 2, his Twitter account was hacked. Number 3, Ted himself was looking at the porn, his wife Heidi walked in and he accidentally hit the ‘like’ button while he was trying to get his pants zipped up. Or number 4, you know Ted lost the presidential election, he’s been bullied by _____, he’s tired of being the uptight religious guy from Texas, he just said, ‘screw it, I watch porn in public now, this is who I am.' [But] I really honestly don’t think it was Ted Cruz. I don’t think Ted Cruz looks at porn. Ted Cruz masturbates to pictures of poor people without healthcare.”

C’mon ... we all know it was Ted.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

So, Katherine Heigl’s new political thriller — that I kind of think of as Homeland without great scripts or great acting — State of Affairs premiered last Monday to so-so reviews and so-so ratings; it was solidly bested by Gotham,  a much better show in my mind. But this isn’t about he soon to crash-and-burn Heigl experiment, but about Heigl herself.

During the press tour she had to answer all kinds of questions about her Grey’s Anatomy diva behavior — she left the show because she thought she was bigger than TV … cut to a few years later and look who’s back on the tube — and the fact that she talked smack about Shonda Rimes, creator of Grey's. Shonda hasn’t been a fan since Heigl removed herself from Emmy consideration in 2008 because she felt Shonda’s scripts weren’t good enough to be Emmy-worthy.

I know, bitch, right?

So, when the news broke that Heigl was back on TV Rimes was asked about the differences between Grey's Anatomy and Scandal, and she said:

“There are no Heigls in this situation… I don’t put up with bullshi–t or nasty people. I don’t have time for it.” 

Now Heigl is playing the Pity Card, though she’s not denying she was a raging diva, and she wants to make up with Shonda, so here’s her mea culpa:

“I am sorry that [Shonda] feels that way and I wish her nothing but greatness and I have nothing negative to say about [her]. I’m a big fan of her work. I watch Scandal every week and so I’m sorry she’s left with such a crappy impression of me. I wish I could do something to change that. Maybe I will be able to someday.”

Howsabout just stop being a diva and stop pissing people off with your holier-than-thou attitude and maybe then people will stop thinking ill of you.

Failing that, just keep quiet, and keep the want ads handy; you’re gonna need ‘em.

Jaden and Willow Smith. Is it any surprise that, with parents like theirs, who are less parents and more sidekick, these two aren’t more idiotic? See, it seems the Smith kids gave an interview to the New York Times’ T Magazine and were all kinds of crazy and delusional. Let’s listen in …

Willow says she’s reading Quantum Physics, while Jaden is reading “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and ancient texts; to that end, they were asked what they think about time:

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.

Then T Magazine asked about their music and how they’ve gotten better over the years:

WILLOW: Caring less what everybody else thinks, but also caring less and less about what your own mind thinks, because what your own mind thinks, sometimes, is the thing that makes you sad.

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think

And that bit of gibberish lead to the topic of school and education—remember that Will and Jada built a Scientology-based school for their kids to attend but when it went broke, well, education over:

JADEN: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

WILLOW: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.

JADEN: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.

WILLOW: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.

And then Jaden, well, went all badly home-schooled:

JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.

The one question that perhaps was never asked, and perhaps should have been the first question out of the interviewer’s mouth, is, “Where the hell are your parents?”

Off of stupid kids, and on to stupid adults … Gwyneth Paltrow.

She’s a cold bitch whose face is so heavily Botoxed — or whatever kumbaya poison she uses to keep her skin taut and plastic — that it's hard to tell exactly how she feels about her consciously uncoupled husband being with, not being with, and then being with Jennifer Lawrence, and how that makes Goop’s world crumble.

While Paltrow is known for her strict veggie diet and strict healthy lifestyle, it appears that those in the know say that when she discovered her ex-husband, Chris Martin had gotten back together with JLaw, she threw all that out the window and started chain-smoking like some 50s housewife scorned!

The “meltdown” happened on Halloween after Jennifer was spotted at Chris’ Malibu home, and, on her way to a photo shoot, Gwyneth was so on edge she started smoking and even begged her driver to stop for a drink so she could calm her nerves.

An insider — and it’s either Pomegranate or Bathsheba — says, “She was a mess all day.”

She even began maniacally texting Chris and making plans to single-white-female JLaw.

Cigarettes and booze is a slippery slope; next thing you know, Goopy will be snorting bath salts and drinking drain cleaner.

Just sayin’.

Kirk Cameron, beloved TV star from our childhood and now devout evangelical loon, has some important words for you women out there: Get in the kitchen because it’s where you belong.

“If you are a mom, if you are a wife, if you’re the keeper of your home, I want you to know that your joy is so important this Christmas. Because Christmas is about joy and if the joy of the Lord is your strength, remember, the joy of the mom is her children’s strength, so don’t let anything steal your joy. If you let your joy get stolen, it will sap your strength. Let your children, your family, see your joy in the way that you decorate your home this Christmas, in the food that you cook, the songs you sing, the stories you tell, and the traditions that you keep. Invite your whole neighborhood into your Christmas, and invite the world into our story of our king and his kingdom.”

Kirk Cameron steals my joy every time he opens his bassackwards yap.

Back to Goop and her suggestions for Christmas, and, no, I don’ think she wants y’all to buy a bottle of Jack and a carton of Marlboro’s; that’s her special gift to herself.

Here’s what she thinks are the hot, must-have Christmas buys:

$30 Furby

$10 friendship bracelet kit

$4,739 Easy Health Angel Juicer Gold—yes, it’s actually gold!

$4,545 Valentino Canvas Trolley—you know, one of those rolling suitcases

$12,000 Diamond Thickie Esque vase

$495 St. Louis Scully & Scully crystal glasses—they’re $95 each

$1,500 Hermes Avalon blanket

$2,614 Balenciaga New Classic Biker Jacket

$1,995 for a single Anita Ko safety pin earring

$7,600 Cartier bracelet

A Harry Winston diamond cluster ring—price on request

$1,495 Arthur Umanoff bar cart

$3,190 The Row Rina Fringed Cashmere Cape

You can head over to Goop — and why wouldn’t you — to read all about how Paltrow feels about these trinkets, place your order and then write your check for $43,678 — it’ll be more with the Harry Winston Ring of course — and have yourself a merry little Christmas.

I like that Paltrow wants to help out all the Moms with their Christmas shopping.

She’s one of us, you know.

Kendall Jenner was recently hired as the face of Estee Lauder and gave an interview about her fabulous career:

“I’m not trying to use a family name or anything. In reality I worked pretty hard for this … It wasn’t like I just got it magically and it just happened.”

Um, Kendall, I’m’a need you to take a seat and let me school you. No one would know you from Kendall Jackson if your older sister hadn’t laid on her back, pointed her heels to Jesus and let Ray J mount her like a rutting pig; without that there’s be no Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes, and without that there’s be no Kendall Jenner who got an Estee Lauder contract based on merit.

If you’re Kendall Jenner from Akron, Ohio, whose Mom was a teacher and whose dad worked in a bank, you’d be living in a fifth-floor walk-up trying to break into Model’s Inc.

Stop fronting.

Meanwhile, Anna Wintour has defended her decision to put Kendall’s sister, porn star, Kim Kardastrophe and her lunatic husband Kanye West on the cover of Vogue this year, but says it in the most typical Wintour fashion ... with a heavy does of shade.

While at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York this week she said:

“I think if we just remain deeply tasteful and just put deeply tasteful people on the cover, it would be a rather boring magazine!”

See, she’s a panderer, putting the scourge of the Earth on her magazine to sell copies and keep her on her perch above it all.

Kim Kardashian? Deeply tasteful? Maybe to Ray J.

This week on Today Matt Lauer sat down with boyband One Direction to discuss their upcoming album Four. And oddly enough, there were just four of them on the set that day because Zayn Malik was a no-show for their appearance and performance.

Of course, being the stealth journalist that he is, when he isn’t schtupping his co-workers or getting them fired, Lauer asked where Zayn was, and Liam Payne said his cohort had a, ahem, “tummy bug” and couldn’t make the trip.

Naturally that lead Lauer into investigative journalist mode, because he began asking about how “sick” Zayn actually is, and implying that he’s actually at home with a case of the drug problems.

Oh yes he did.

“There’s obviously a lot of concern, a lot of fans have been tweeting overnight. There’s been a lot of action on social media about him. Is it something more serious than just a minor illness? There have been rumors of substance abuse. What’s going on?”

Once again, Liam stressed that Zayn was at home sick while the rest of One Direction — all three of the Ones — sat there in awkward silence. And Zayn, who wasn’t too sick to turn on the telly, caught the interview and unleashed a torrent of Lauer Loathing of the, ahem, “news” man.

“I’m really angry and upset by what was said on the Today show. I was really ill at the weekend, that’s why I couldn’t fly to America. I was gutted to have to miss album release day, but I’m going to be back as soon as I can. As soon as I’m feeling better I’m going to join the guys and carry on with the promotion for the album.”

Who to believe? The pompous newsman looking for a ratings grab since GMA is regularly trouncing Today, or the wee pop star who may have been too high to fly … on a plane.

I fall into the ‘Who cares’ category but just posted this story for y’all.

More Kim K? M’kay.

This might not be true, but it’s funny and involves Dame Angelina Jolie — whom I adore — so I’m treating it as gospel.’

Angelina is doing a worldwide press tour for her upcoming film Unbroken and was in Sydney, Australia this week. It was a huge event, some of the actors were there, plus Brad, and Angelina even invited the Aussie crew plus Australian WWII veterans to attend.

Cut to Kim Kardashian, who was also in Australia to promote herself, her perfume, her ass, her fat ass on a magazine cover, something, and she wanted to go to the premiere because, well, Angelina and Brad, except … Angelina banned her!

According to the article Kim ‘begged for tickets to the Unbroken premiere’ and ‘desperately tried to arrange a get-together with Brad and Angie’ but that ‘Angie’s people told Kim to buzz off and that Angie didn’t want to socialise with Kim or do a photo op in Australia with her. Kim was crushed.’

Perhaps that’s what it would take to deflate that ass … and her giant butt.

Now, as I said, I don’t know if it’s true, but I’d like to believe it is, and if it is, I love Jolie even more.