Bobservations

We had a lovely, quiet, peace-filled weekend getaway for my birthday. So much so that I didn’t want to return, but we did, because we have cats and a dog and such. When we got home we were telling the pet-sitter about the trip, and I told her it was wintry and gorgeous and quiet and then I added:

“We got several inches on my birthday AND then it snowed.”

I thought Carlos was going to die, but our house-sitter guffawed and snorted.

My take: if you want to vote for the guy who pardons the traitors, know that you’re voting for a man who will free men and women who broke into a federal building and threatened to murder the Vice President and the Speaker of the House, and if you feel that’s presidential, fuck all the way off.

This week I posted about the idiot Republicans and conservatives on the McMinn County School Board in Tennessee, who have banned Art Spiegelman’s “Maus,” the Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel about the Holocaust, from the eighth-grade curriculum.

No sooner than they said banned, did the book, hell the entire series of the graphic novel, “The Complete Maus,” surge to the top of Amazon’s bestseller list.

If they ban the book, buy the book.

I have created a special uniform for the COVIDIOTS at work. They love the hat. But Donald decided it looked better without his clothes and I ain’t mad at it.

Ryan Utterback, who has supported banning books from North Kansas City School District libraries that depict sexual acts, is facing a felony charge of second-degree child molestation and a misdemeanor charge of fourth-degree domestic assault. Oh, and he is also facing a misdemeanor charge of furnishing pornographic material or attempting to furnish pornographic material to a minor in a separate case.

Just like the biggest homophobic bigots get caught trying to play footsie in a men’s room, doesn’t it always seem that the people who scream the loudest about protecting the children are the ones trying to molest children?

My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make a sarcastic comment and yet knowing the answer will always be ‘Yes.’

Rihanna’s foundation, the Clara Lionel, has donated $15 million to 18 climate justice organizations, including the Climate Justice Alliance and the Movement for Black Lives. A statement explained:

“Climate disasters, which are growing in frequency and intensity, do not impact all communities equally, with communities of color and island nations facing the brunt of climate change. These grants support entities focused on and led by women, youth, Black, Indigenous, people of color and LGBTQIA+ communities. We invite others to join us in elevating, funding and supporting these groups and others who are on the frontlines of the climate justice movement.”

That’s how you do it.

After COVID-stricken Sarah Palin was spotted dining at two Manhattan restaurants and walking maskless on city streets, Mayor Adams’ office issued a warning to New Yorkers who cross her infected path:

“We encourage any New Yorker who came into contact with Sarah Palin to get tested, just as we encourage all New Yorkers to get tested regularly, especially those who believe they may have been exposed to COVID-19.”

 The good news is most intelligent people always steer clear of COVID Sarah.

France has a new law that bans so-called conversion therapies and authorizes jail time and fines for practitioners who use the scientifically discredited practice to attempt to change the sexual orientation or gender identity of LGBTQ people.

As French President Emmanuel Macron said:

“The law prohibiting conversion therapy is adopted unanimously! Let’s be proud, these unworthy practices have no place in the Republic. Because being yourself is not a crime, because there is nothing to be cured.”

Bravo!

Curt Autry, a journalist for Richmond, Virginia’s NBC 12, had the best response to a transphobic email about Jeopardy! champion Amy Schneider.

While reporting on Schneider’s winning streak Autry noted that Schneider was the first woman to win over a million dollars, and the first woman to win that many consecutive episodes. That set off a viewer, who identifies as “Gretchen,” who wrote into the show:

“Hey Curt, I saw that you somehow managed to read the story on the news last night (and with a straight face) that Amy Schneider is now the winningest woman in the history of Jeopardy! You don’t see the irony there? So which is it, are you stupid and not realize that Amy is a dude or do you stay that woke 24/7?”

Autry reminded “Gretchen” that most people don’t try to verify someone’s sex assigned at birth before addressing them with the correct name and pronouns, so why shouldn’t that same courtesy be extended to trans people?

“Dear Gretchen, we’ve never met, so I don’t know you—but since you approached me as ‘Gretchen,’ I assume that’s how you like to be addressed, I feel no need to peek in your panties to verify it. I’ll call you what makes you comfortable, the same goes for Amy. And that has nothing to do with my IQ or how ‘woke’ I am, it’s just a simple matter of respect.”

Respect. That’s all.

And here we have one Addis Miller, he of the dazzling smile and beautiful body, an Ethiopian-British model who also runs Lifestyle Limitless, a nutrition and training company. 

Would You Hit It?

I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

I generally like my gossip fresh, but the only fresh gossip Richard Dreyfuss can hock up is about how … nearly twenty years ago … Bill Murray was a drunken, belligerent bully who once threw an ashtray at his face on the set of What About Bob?

Dreyfuss says:

“I didn’t talk about it for years. … Bill just got drunk at dinner. He was an Irish drunken bully, is what he was. … He came back from dinner [one night] and I said, ‘Read this [script tweak], I think it’s really funny.’ And he put his face next to me, nose-to-nose. And he screamed at the top of his lungs, ‘Everyone hates you! You are tolerated!’ There was no time to react, because he leaned back and he took a modern glass-blown ashtray. He threw it at my face from [only a couple feet away]. And it weighed about three quarters of a pound. And he missed me. He tried to hit me. I got up and left.”

Murray must also be a terrible shot if he was a couple of feet away and missed Dreyfuss’s melon completely with a large glass object. But still, it must be true, because one of Dreyfuss’s children, Ben, took to Twitter to confirm the story, claiming himself, his sister and his mom were all there:

“This story about Bill Murray is 100% true and I was on that set and so was [my mom and my sister]. And there’s actually worse shit that Bill Murray did during that movie to other people that my dad didn’t even mention because he probably felt it wasn’t his place.”

Until twenty years later.

Take a seat Dreyfuss family, this won’t make any of you relevant.

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Wendy Williams has had a hot mess of a life lately, between rumors of a husband cheating, only to be confirmed as fact when the husband’s sidepiece delivered his baby; and then there was Wendy falling off the wagon into some kind of substance abuse issue; and then there was the ex-con younger sidepiece Wendy picked up; and now this …

Wendy’s son, Kevin Hunter Jr., has just pleaded not guilty to assaulting his father, Kevin Hunter.

Kevin Jr. appeared in a New Jersey court for an arraignment stemming from his May 21 arrest for ALLEGEDLY fighting with his father outside of a Krauszer’s Food Store in West Orange; apparently the first flew after Junior called his Daddy a “bitch.”

Lovely family, no?

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Kim Kardastrophe has done it again. Something stupid, ignorant, self-serving and egotistical, I mean.

It seems Mrs. Yeezy created—well, she had someone create it for her and then she took the credit—a  new “solutionware” line of undergarments. Not so bad, but then ...she named the line Kimono.

Yes. She did. And now she’s trying to defend herself against accusations of cultural appropriation and outright disrespect by claiming she did it for the Kulture.

Yes. She did. And in a statement—written by someone else no doubt, because she’s a Kardastrophe—Mrs. Yeezy said:

“I made the decision to name my company Kimono, not to disassociate the word from its Japanese roots but as a nod to the beauty and detail that goes into a garment.”

Right. Then she added:

“My solutionwear brand is built with inclusivity and diversity at its core and I’m incredibly proud of what’s to come … which is why I can appropriate the word.”

Okay, that last line was me. And to be fair, Mrs. Yeezy isn’t trying to stop people from calling kimonos ‘kimonos,’ and she’s not going to send a cease and desist letters to Japan. She just wants to make her followers who have a collective IQ of 4, think Kimono is a play on Kim and that she’s so savvy and smart.

Yes. She did. But then a group called Tokyo Fashion got involved and said:

“Kim [Kardastrophe] filed for a bunch of trademarks on the word "kimono" (even for actual kimono), which, if granted, would allow her to ban Japanese companies from using the word "kimono" in America.”

Yes. She did. And then the Mayor of Kyoto, Daisaku Kadokawa, told Mrs. Yeezy to, well, eff off, in the kindest way:

“I am writing this letter to convey our thoughts on Kimono and ask you to re-consider your decision of using the name Kimono in your trademark. Kimono is a traditional ethnic dress fostered in our rich nature and history with our predecessors’ tireless endeavours and studies, and it is a culture that has been cherished and passed down with care in our living. Also, it is a fruit of craftsmanship and truly symbolizes sense of beauty, spirits and values of Japanese.”

He goes on, but apparently it was enough to send Mrs. Yeezy back to the branding board because she’s changing the name.

I might suggest … ‘Kim? Oh. No.’ Might I suggest that the “solution” is for you to go away?

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And now, in crazy … Rihanna posted a photo of herself on Instagram wearing H2T [that’s Tyra Banks speak—hence the crazy—for ‘head-to-toe’] Fenty schmata—which is Rihanna’s clothing line.

Now, Tyra didn’t comment on the clothes, or RiRi’s style or fashion sense or business acumen. Nope, Tyra commented that she thought it was a picture of her because she thinks she and RiRi could be twins.

Crazy. On her best day … never.

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More crazy? Okurrrrrrrrrrr.

And I can say that now, out loud and proud because Cardi B had filed for a trademark on ‘Okurrrrr’—she says it’s her catchphrase—and her application was dee-nied by U.S. Patent and Trademark officials who explained that Cardi’s ALLEGED slogan falls under the category of “widely-used commonplace expressions,” and did not fit the bill to deserve a trademark.

Who knew Nicki Minaj worked for the Patent office?

Okurrrrrrrr?

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Years ago Grace Jones played May Day in A View To A Kill and so executives on the newest Bond film, AKA Bond 25, thought it’s be cool to have her back again.

But, sadly, or not, the only was you’re gonna see Jones in Bond again is to watch A View To A Kill again, because she is not coming back after all. Well, she was back, and filming, but then she allegedly walked off set because she thought her role was too small.

Um, honey? Love you. Love everything about you. Thinking of being you for Halloween, but … Bond films are about Bond. It’s not called Grace Jones.

Okurrrrrrrrr?

Thanks to the Patent office for letting me say that without having to slip any coins to Cardi B.

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Bobservations

A couple of quick Carlos stories … we went by our bank to cash a check for one of our visitors, and the teller asked Carlos what the other name on our account was—mind you, I was standing right next to him—and he said:

“I’m sorry?”

“What is the name of the other person on the account?”

I raised my hand and Carlos said:

“I don’t know."

“It’s me,” I said.

“Oh yeah.”

Later that same day, as our guests were shopping, Carlos wanted to buy some cologne. He asked me what I liked, and I told him whatever he wanted, and he said:

“Something cheap.”

That’s Carlos. I told him that cheap isn’t always best and just to find a scent he liked and get it. So, he did, and when he asked the girl at the counter how much it was, and she said,

“Ninety dollars.”

I told her that Carlos usually buys his cologne at the gas station; or at a 7/11 where he can get cologne and a Slurpee™ for $1.99. She burst out laughing and I said,

“Don’t laugh. He buys my Christmas presents at a gas station.”

Carlos was not amused. The salesgirl and I bonded over shared laughter.

On the flip side, this is Carlos in his youth, rocking a Speedo; I thought he’d hate for me to share this, but he saw the photo again and said:

“I look good.”

So, there you go.

On the flip side of the flip side, my mother used to sew our clothes when we were kids and, yes, she made that outfit for me, with the belt that matches the shirt that matches the hat that makes me look like I should have been between the Construction Worker and the Leather Man, as the Gay Designer, in the Village People.

What.Was.I.Thinking?

Nowadays,  _____ is claiming the Democrats are a mob because, you know, we speak out against him and all those Republicans who goose-step along with him … like Mitch McTurtle McConnell who was confronted by some angry diners while eating dinner with his wife, Elaine Chao,  _____ 's Secretary of Transportation who has a lot of “private time “on her schedule, at Havana Rumba.

Four men shouted at McConnell:

“Why don’t you get out of here? Why don’t you leave the entire country?”

I’ve no problem with that …just sayin’ … because Mitch McConnell is the Devil.

Remember what he did to Merrick Garland. Remember how he vowed to “plow right through” the opposition to Kavanaugh and force Kavanaugh on us. Remember how he agreed with _____ that survivors of sexual assault and women’s rights activists were crisis actors being paid to protest. Remember how he’s taking his time with any congressional response to the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi.

Remember all of it.

I’m not saying all Republicans are stupid, but …

This week, with the news of the “caravan of migrants” headed north, a woman in Minnesota … effing Minnesota …. is worried the migrants will somehow cross the border freely into this country and work their way north and, wait for it, it’s the epitome of stupid, steal her lake house.

Yes. It’s true.

He sinks lower … the week _____’s Department of Health and Human Services is spearheading an effort to legally … legally … abolish transgender people at a federal level, and define gender “as a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth”.

Yes; they are. HHS stated in a memo that key government agencies needed to adopt an explicit and uniform definition of gender would define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by the genitals that a person is born with.

This is the beginning of erasing anyone who doesn’t fit within the rich, old, white—or orange—men category.

This slays me …and I’m a white guy, albeit a white gay guy.

A new survey from YouGov and The Economist found that ____ voters actually believe men are more discriminated against than LGBTQ people, most ethnic minorities, and women.

Seriously. Men, white men, are facing discrimination?

Fuck ‘em.

Speaking of mobs, here’s one _____ had no problem with because this one went after Nancy Pelosi.

Pelosi was hounded by a group of protesters in Florida—some cursing and calling her a “communist”—as she attended a campaign event for congressional hopeful Donna Shalala in Coral Gables:

“You don’t belong here you f**king communist f**k.”

“You and your f**king Democrats.”

Again, I don't have a problem with this, except this confrontation was organized by Nelson Diaz, the chairman of the Republican Party in Miami-Dade County. You know, the party of jobs, not mobs.

This week, after we learned that his administration wants to erase Transgender Americans and identify people only by their genitalia at birth—meaning, I’m guessing that _____ is a mushroom?—the Fat Bastard’s website is selling and LGBTQ shirt, the _____Pride Tee, A white T-shirt emblazoned with a watercolor rainbow and the words “LGBTQ for _____”.

Let me just say this, if you are an LGBTQ American and you support _____ then you can not-so-kindly fuck off.

Last month, the news broke about that next year’s Super Bowl Halftime performers would be Maroon 5, and that they would be performing at the Super Bowl in Atlanta … the same city in the midst of a black Renaissance, where dozens of rap, hip-hop, gospel and soul performers live …and yet the NFL picked a bunch of white guys who sing mindless, innocuous elevator pop.

But it turns out that Maroon 5 was second choice for the gig after the NFL tried to hire Rihanna for the gig and she turned them down because of, wait for it, I love it, it’s epic. Colin Kaepernick.

She stands with Kap, and she said ‘No.’

If you needed any more proof the Saudis murdered Jamal Khashoggi, look no further than the fact that one of his ALLEGED murderers left the Saudi consulate by the back door, wearing Khashoggi’s clothes, a fake beard, and glasses, after killing and dismembering the journalist.

And _____still sees nothing to be worried about.

God, I really need a palate cleanser and so I give you hot … hot …HOT …French model Aurelien Muller.

Muller has walked for Dolce & Gabbana, Dirk Bikkembergs, Bespoken and Marin Keehn, and has appeared on countless magazine covers, but who cares … he’s hot.

And he irons naked.

And rocks the tighty whities.

Swoon!

It's Snarkurday!

Sarah Jessica Parker has been accused of a lot of things … she’s wound awfully tight … she can be a huge bitch … and she’s a snobby shoe saleswoman … but is she also … shades of Lohan … a jewel thief?

Maybe so; it seems SJP is being accused by jewelry brand Kat Florence Design of stealing accessories worth $149,501.96.  And you know they mean business because they nailed it down to the penny!

Kat Florence Design ALLEGES that Sarah borrowed some pieces from them in 2016 for after wearing the jewels in a photo shoot and never gave them back. They say SJP asked to “personally borrow several pieces of the jewelry to wear for a few months and then return all the pieces.” They agreed to two months and now it’s been two years that Parker has had the gems, so Kat Florence filed a lawsuit in April; the company’s attorney had this to say:

“It is our position in this case that after a photo shoot as part of the endorsement agreement, Ms. Parker requested that she could personally keep some of the pieces of the jewelry for a few months to wear personally. We agreed and documented what she had. This happened in March 2016. Over two years later, the jewelry was never returned to us. We believe that as Ms. Parker has kept the jewelry since 2016 that she should pay us for it.”

Well, SJP is shocked, shocked I say … or at least her attorney is because he said:

“This is just plain false. SJP was under contract to Kat Florence and was asked to keep the jewelry so that she could wear it on red carpets and other events when appropriate. Sarah Jessica Parker is as honest and trustworthy a person as anyone I have ever met. She has never and would never hold onto anything belonging to someone else. In fact, she has been asking ever since Kat Florence wrongfully stopped paying her to have the pieces returned, but Kat Florence didn’t seem terribly interested in getting them back.”

Um, ambulance chaser? They wouldn’t have asked for all their money back, to the penny, if they weren’t interested in getting it back; and what do you think they do, allow celebs to just take jewelry and wear it and never pay for it?

That’s some business model.

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This year’s New York Fashion Week, save for the Cardi B—the ‘B’ is for Brawl—fight with Nicki Minaj, was pretty dull as fashion weeks go, but there was another bit of drama.

Marc Jacobs normally gets to be NYFW’s big “closer” but this year the honor went to Rihanna’s Fenty show and it looked like Marc Jacobs ALLEGEDLY turned it into a pity petty party.

Jacobs’ runway show was set to start at 6PM but for some reason was delayed for ninety minutes, leading many to assume the designer was simply out to ruin Rihanna’s show. See, Jacobs shows typically run like clockwork, but this year, with Rihanna snagging the grand finale did Jacobs delay his Manhattan show so people wouldn’t be able to get to Rihanna’s Brooklyn show by its 7:30 PM start time?

Booth Moore, from the Hollywood Reporter, tweeted about Jacobs’ delay, sharing an image of some of the designer’s empty front-row seats as many in attendance, annoyed by the late start, beat feet to Rihanna’s gig. Still, many celebs stayed to await the late Marc Jacobs, including Nicki Minaj, Emily Ratajkowski, Sofia Coppola and Anna Wintour, although Nuclear Wintour was seen pacing and making phone calls before finally taking her seat as the show started.

Jacobs took to Instagram, as they do these days, to explain his tardiness:

“I sincerely apologize to anyone and everyone who was inconvenienced by my lateness at our Spring/Summer 2019 fashion show. For anyone interested, below is not a list of excuses but rather a list of facts. I fully understand people have plans, lives, commitments, flights, families to return to, etc and that I fully RESPECT …

1. The night before the show at midnight, I believed that we would absolutely be starting at 6pm, as planned and it was my intention to do so. 

2. At 3:30pm on the day of the show, I became aware that we would most likely be an hour late. In good faith and hope it was communicated that the show would start at 630pm and that was a mistake. 

3. After years of being beyond punctual and once again, with every intention of remaining so, the fact is, more is always expected from us with fewer and fewer resources. That is not unique to me personally or us as a company. I have learned that I need to adjust to our realities.

4. It was my wishful thinking that we could accomplish all that needed to be done for this show with the circumstances we faced. I was wrong. Not because everyone didn’t make every effort or give it their all and more, life is just that way sometimes. I’ve always been told that, “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” With our shows, I always strive to present 7-10 minutes of live fashion theatre that hopefully makes some kind of statement or touch the audience in some way both aesthetically and emotionally. I think we all have to be a little more sensitive and flexible to the fragile state of the live experience. 

I hope anyone reading this will reflect on my thoughts as I have on yours. 
Sincerely and respectfully,

Marc”

Notice, though, that all his explanations never fully explained why he was late. My money is on the diva-ness of it all, given that he was always the closer and now that upstart Rihanna has taken his place.

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I’ve talked Les Moonves before, and what a pig he is to women in general, Janet Jackson, in particular, and now how much of a misogynistic pig he was to Linda Bloodworth Thomason.

She’s the creator of Designing Women, and was, for a time, one of the most powerful women in television. She had a great contract with CBS and lotsa support from CBS executives … until Moonves was made president. Now Bloodworth Thomason has written a piece for The Hollywood Reporter about how Moonves ruined her career because she’s a woman and he hates women:

“This is not the article you might be expecting about Les Moonves. It’s not going to be wise or inspiring. It’s going to be petty and punishing. In spite of my proper Southern mother’s admonition to always be gracious, I am all out of grace when it comes to Mr. Moonves. In fact, like a lot of women in Hollywood, I am happy to dance on his professional grave. And not just any dance — this will be the Macarena, the rumba, the cha-cha and the Moonwalk. You get the idea.”

In 1992, Bloodworth Thomason was given the largest writing and producing contract in the history of CBS for some $50 million. Designing Women was a huge hit for CBS and her Evening Shade was the best new comedy that year. She says CBS chairman Howard Stringer and president Jeff Sagansky attended several Designing Women tapings and had given her carte blanche to tackle any subject, including sexual harassment, domestic violence and pornography.

But by 1995, Stringer and Sagansky were gone and a Les Moonves had taken over. Bloodworth Thomason was producing a new pilot titled Fully Clothed Non-Dancing Women and was concerned how Moonves—a fan of titty bars, or so she’d heard—might feel about the show.

Well, the answer is the show never aired, and Bloodworth Thomason was out at CBS and would not work again for seven years. She ALLEGES Moonves waged against her, turning down every one of her scripts and refusing to allow any CBS-contracted actor to work with her, noting that both Bette Midler and Huey Lewis requested to work with her and were turned down by Moonves. She also ALLEGES that Moonves would not hire any actress who didn’t want to “f–k” and how he once told a popular actress that she was too old to be on his network … and then forcibly kissed the woman.

And she points out that, under Moonves, all the shows featuring and starring brash, funny women were scrapped in favor of male-dominated series.

“I just feel angry. The truth is, Les Moonves may never be punished in the way that he deserves. He will almost certainly never go to jail. And he has already made hundreds of millions of dollars during his highly successful and truly immoral, bullying, misogynist reign.”

Still, again, it’s nice to see the pig fall. And, jail or not, career or not, his legacy will be that of a pig.

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Kristin Davis is thirsty for work and clearly still nursing a grudge that Kim Cattrall nixed the idea of yet another sequel to Sex and the City because, to commemorate the 70th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, Davis posted a throwback photo of herself with her SATC co-stars … except Cattrall was not in the photo.

Davis chose a photo of herself, Sarah Jessica Parker and Cynthia Nixon at the 2004 ceremony; to be fair, Cattrall wasn’t cut out of the image, but while she was at the Emmys that year, and photographed with her co-stars, Davis skipped those pictures and went Cattrall-less.

Like I said, she’s thirsty for work …or another fifteen minutes.

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Faye Dunaway still can’t shake the Joan Crawford-ness of it all, decades after Mommie Dearest.

Last year, Faye “broke up” with her hairstylist because of a nasty spat over the bill and now she’s taken her drama to a new salon.

A source says the staff at the luxe Warren Tricomi salon have had it with Dunaway getting snippy with them. They say on one day, she changed her appointment ten different times, and then finally announced that she was ready and demanded service. When managers told her that she cannot order the staff around, Dunaway Reese Witherspoon’ed them:

“Do you know who I am? I am Faye Dunaway!”

In addition, Faye brings her infamous food scale to appointments and measures out salad and other food, letting the excess drop where it will, and then demanding the staff clean up after her.

And while you may think this isn’t true, the salon’s owner, Edward Tricomi, told the newspapers:

“Faye is fine. I’ve known her 40 years or better. Look, everybody has their moments in time, but Faye is fine. She is not a problem.”

Not exactly a denial, though. And, when reporters called Dunaway for her take on the story, she hung up on them.

She’s Faye Dunaway! Dammit!!

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Woody Allen’s a pig, we all know that, but let’s offer up one more example.

It’s about who fathered Rona Farrow with Mia; if you ask Woody, he’ll say he’s the daddy. Mia says there is a “possibility” that she made Ronan with her ex-husband Frank Sinatra but both Sinatra’s widow and his daughter Tina said there was no way Ronan is a Sinatra. And if you ask Ronan, he jokes:

“Listen, we're all ‘possibly’ Frank Sinatra's son.”

Now, for why Woody is a pig, other than that whole sleeping with his adopted daughter mess … he says he considers Ronan to be his kid, but he wouldn’t be surprised if a DNA proved otherwise, but that news would piss him off because … wait for it … oink … oink … he’s spent so much money on Ronan:

“In my opinion, he’s my child. I think he is, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it. I paid for child support for him for his whole childhood, and I don’t think that’s very fair if he’s not mine.”

It sounds like the only one of Mia’s kids he has no regrets paying for is Soon-Yi.

Just sayin’.

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