Meme Dump

Bobservations

Every night Carlos practices his trumpet and when he’s finished he tells me how he thinks he did:

“I think I finally got that piece.”

“I think so, too.”

“You liked it?”

“Well, I don’t know if I liked it, but I know my ears didn’t bleed as badly as other nights.”

But my new favorite response came after last night’s practice when he said:

“Whoosh, I think I nailed Mahler.”

“So do I.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s sounds like you were nailing him to the wall.”

I still got it!

This Tuxedo memory is from September 2013 …

"Tuxedo's Revenge

Yesterday when we came home from Kroger's and I found MaxGoldberg pouting on the bed because there was nothing to do, so i grabbed the camera and took his picture, really set Tuxedo off.

He likes to be photographed because:

A] he's the Alpha Cat and
2] He gawg-eous!

So, while snapping pictures of MaxGoldberg, I turned to get one of Tuxedo, and he decided to express his outrage that he was not the first cat photographed....

Motto: Start with Tuxedo."

Oy, the punim on that cat!

Some guys have all the luck. Last year Wayne Murray, Brooklyn, New York, won $10M playing the New York Lottery. This year Wayne Murray, Brooklyn, New York, won another $10M playing the New York Lottery’s 200X scratch-off game.

And I still scream with delight winning the occasional five bucks on a scratcher.

The Super PAC Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’ presidential bid canceled a donor event last week due to a lack of interest from invitees. Yes, people who were asked to come stayed home.

Sorry, Ronnie, the heels aren’t working.

Is it possible to be any thirstier for attention than JLo … or as Carlos calls her, Jell-O? And could her husband. Mr. Jennifer Lopez, look any more bored to be out with her?

Pedophile enabler Jim Jordan has threatened Hunter Biden with a contempt charge for defying a subpoena to testify in the House’s “impeachment” probe. Strange, though, because  Hunter Biden says he’s happy to testify in a public hearing but the GOP has refused and wants a closed-door hearing.

Why would that be? :::cough no evidence cough:::

PS  Pedophile enabler Jim Jordan repeatedly defied subpoenas to testify about his part in the January 6 insurrection so, yeah, hypocrite.

This is the Opera House in Camden, strung with lights for Christmas. And while it no longer operates as an opera house there are plans afoot to renovate it into a small boutique hotel and I think that would be wonderful.

Josh Hawley, of the famous J6 Chicken Run through Congress,  on January 6 has endorsed Inmate # P01135809 for the GOP nomination after the former Criminal In Chief warned both Hawley and Ted Cruz (R-Texas) about being “very careful” in their own 2024 reelection bids.

I guess Hawley and Cruz are both doing the Chicken Dance.

Texan Kate Cox was facing pregnancy complications that would have caused her unborn child to die before birth or shortly after and might have also affected her life and her ability to conceive again, so she and her husband and her doctor thought it best that she have an abortion.

But Texas said ‘No,’ forcing Cox to sue the state to make her own health care decisions. She won that lawsuit but then the Texas Supreme Court overturned that ruling and denied her access to abortion and forced her to travel out of state for the procedure.

That’s what the GOP is doing to women in this country.

PS That one-star on the Texas flag is actually a review.

This is actor and … mostly underwear … model JeanPaul Acocella and the question is the same: Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that some people think I’m rude, when the fact is that I have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking?

… that I don’t always tolerate stupid people but when I do so, it’s probably because I’m at work and there’s a paycheck involved?

… that for some people every day is a ‘new day,’ but for me I look at it as a another chance to piss off a whole new group of people?

… that people who ask me what I’m doing tomorrow are under the assumption that I even know what day of the week it is?

… that I sometimes think I’ll wake up early and go for a run, but other days I think I’ll wake up early and win the lottery? I mean, the odds are about the same.

… that some people think a secret group of rich people control everything instead of it being a widely known group of people who control everything?

… that I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but it appears I’m aging more like an avocado?

Bobservations

Remember the story of the white woman in Oakland who used the police as her “racism valets” to remove a couple of black men from a park because they were :::gasp::: grilling?

Well, her name Dr. … seriously? … Jennifer Schulte from Stanford University so she is clearly not some stupid ass moron … she’s a doctor.

Well, apparently, a doctor of Racism and White Privilege.

Spread her shame. As I see it, if black people having a barbeque make you uncomfortable, or black people sitting in Starbucks causes you worry, or a black girl sleeping in the common room of her dorm is somehow scary, you have the problem, so maybe you should stay home and leave the world to the rest of us. You’ll be better off, we’ll be better off.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget:

Jennifer Schulte, Racist.

The other morning Carlos, who was in the office reconciling—he pronounces it ‘ree-conciling’ the bank accounts … so cute—came out and asked me:

“Did you make a payment to your AMEX account and forget to enter it into the balance sheet?”

“No. I don’t owe any money to American Express. I never use that card.”

He shows me the bank statement, where a payment was made to American Express in the amount of $230 and on the bank statement, it lists my name Naturally, we both think my account is hacked and I go access my AMEX account online and, yup, no transactions at all, payments or charges, since last fall. I ask Carlos to maybe call AMEX or the bank and see what the trouble might be, but, again, he asks if someone stole my identity and used my card …

“Wait. What? You think someone stole my identity, used my AMEX card to rack up two-hundred bucks in charges, and then paid off the card using our bank account?”

“Yes.”

"Why …. whyyyyyy … would anyone do that?”

But he isn’t listening because he’s spotted another AMEX payment, listed with my name, from the previous month. I look at it and … in the words of the immortal BritBrit, and to paraphrase her greatness …. Oops, he did it again.

The two AMEX payments were from his card, but he accessed the AMEX account on our Google account with was open under my name, you know, because of this here blog and so … the accounts were his, the payments were his.

Of course, I spent the rest of the day asking if he wanted to accuse me of making more nonexistent payments to my accounts. It was fun.

Seriously, there’s nothing going on here, and if you believe that …

Just a day after the Chinese government agreed to put $500,000,000 into an Indonesian project that will personally enrich _____, the Fat Bastard ordered a bailout for a Chinese-government-owned cellphone maker, ZTE:

“President Xi of China, and I, are working together to give massive Chinese phone company, ZTE, a way to get back into business, fast. Too many jobs in China lost. Commerce Department has been instructed to get it done!”

So, he’s not creating jobs in America, but rather creating them in China, because China ponied up a half-billion dollars for a theme park resort outside of Jakarta at which _____’s business has a deal to license the _____ name to the resort, which includes a golf course and hotels.

Like I said, nothing to see here … right, Deplorables?

Brian Morris, from the small town of Clarendon Hills in Dupage County, Illinois, just won $125 million in the state lottery, quit his job and then …. Brian Morris purchased over 20,000 tons of manure, valued at $224,000, and had it delivered to, and dumped on, the home of his former employer.

Morris was standing across the street and laughing when the police arrived, and he rapidly came over to confess his responsibility and explain his motivations.

Lieutenant Frank Meyers, a spokesman of the Clarendon Hills Police Department, said:

“The accused told us he’d worked for the victim for 17 years and was treated like shit. He says he had to endure his mistreatment because he needed the money, but that now that he won $125 million it was time for revenge.”

Morris attracted a lot of media attention after winning $125 million Powerball and when he was asked by organizers what he would do with the money, he said:

“Just read the news, you’ll see.”

Morris was freed on bail about ManureGate and told reporters to “stay alert”, claiming he had “a few other pranks to pull over the next few weeks.”

I.Can’t.Wait.

Georgia Secretary of State and gubernatorial candidate and Republican, because, of course, Brian Kemp is trying to show conservatives he’s a tough guy with a new ad that shows him pumping a shotgun, setting off an explosion, and promising to “round up illegals” in his pick-up truck if need be; in the ad he says:

“I’m so conservative, I blow up government spending. I own guns that no one’s taking away. My chainsaw is ready to rip up some regulations. I got a big truck, just in case I need to round up criminal illegals and take ‘em home myself. Yep, I just said that. I’m Brian Kemp. If you want a politically incorrect conservative, that’s me.”

Kemp made headlines earlier this month by pointing a shotgun at a young man who wanted to date his daughter.

Yup, he’s a gun nut and he wants to be governor of Georgia.

Karma; love her. This week, after someone spilled the beans about _____ hack Kelly Sadler’s vile remarks about John McCain, White House Press Liar, Sarah Huckabee Sanders chastised the White House communications team for leaking those remarks. Now, she didn’t denounce the remarks themselves, just the leaking of the remarks to the press.

So, what does a White House staffer do after that meeting? Well, just what Sanders thought:

“I am sure this conversation is going to leak, too. And that’s just disgusting.”

Um, Sarah, you Melting Lump of Play-Doh, saying of someone who is terminally ill, he’s “dying anyway” is disgusting, but telling the story about someone who said that vile thing is not.

Get your priorities straight and … oh, forget it. Look who I’m talking to …

Remember when ____, while lying and campaigning, announced that he would be the most LGBT friendly president ever?

This week his administration rolled back rules that allowed transgender inmates to use facilities that match their gender identity, including cell blocks and bathrooms.It's just one more reversal of an Obama administration effort to protect transgender prisoners from sexual abuse and assault.

But, hey, if it gets rid of the progress set forth by a real president, and harms only trans folks, then who cares, right?

It’s plain to see that Donald and Melania don’t have that same loving type of marriage that the Obamas had, so who does _____ call on for those late-night chats, mid-morning gab fests, and late day gossip sessions?

Sean Hannity.

On some days, they speak multiple times, with one calling the other to inform him of the latest developments. White House staff know the calls happen, because _____ might enter a room and say:

“I just hung up with Hannity.”

He’s even called Hannity during meeting with staff.

It’s a bromance, and the ugliest one in history.

When Patricia O’Grady moved into the top floor of a Greenwich Village walk-up in 1955, she and her three roommates helped sweep the hallway in exchange for a discounted rent of $16 a month. The unit was bare, no more than floor and walls, so the girls installed a sink and other amenities. While her roommates moved on, O’Grady never left, and stayed in the rent-controlled apartment until she died this past March at the age of 84.

Her monthly rent was $28.43.

In addition to possibly being the cheapest unit in Greenwich Village, it also may have been New York City’s last cold-water flat since it had neither heat nor hot water., though it did have two working fireplaces.

O’Grady was so set in her ways, she fought with the landlord any time he tried to update the apartment; when he tried to install proper heat, she pleaded with him:

“What you’re doing to me is torturing me. Please leave the apartment as is. I’m at peace.”

The apartment had no bath or shower. There was only a single gas light bulb, and, thanks to her osteoporosis, O’Grady couldn’t replace it and so she used candlelight; a pull-chain toilet and cast-iron stove were updated only recently.

But, again, $28.43 a month.

With O’Grady gone, the landlord will do a renovation and rent Patricia O’Grady’s old apartment for at least $5,000 a month.

As they say on Project Runway …

“One day, you’re in. The next day you’re out.”

And then maybe you can go back in again?

It looks like Project Runway, formerly the darling of Bravo before all those housewives and realtors, is moving back to Bravo from Lifetime, and we can thank the Weinstein Scandal for it.

The PR moved to Lifetime back in 2008 when The Weinstein Company [TWC] decided to make some more coins from a sale of the show. But now, A + E Television Networks, which owns Lifetime, dropped TWC after all the accusations against Harvey Weinstein came out and Heidi and Co. were :::gasp::: homeless.

And that’s when Bravo opened its purse and rolled out the coins the bring the PR home where it all started, and where it belongs.

It was in, it was out, it’s in again.

I love Melissa McCarthy. I think she’s high-larious. Sadly, for me, she keeps making bad film choices that are one-note jokes and sight gags. Her latest film, Life of the Party, s the tale of a woman who after her husband divorces her, decides to go back to college …the same college where her daughter goes.

Apparently, hilarity ensues cuz Mom is at college with her daughter, but …

I liked it better when Rodney Dangerfield played a rich guy, who was worried that his son wouldn’t attend college to Dangerfield signs up as a student, too … at the same college … in Back to School.

And hilarity ensues because Dad is at college with his son.

Remember what I said Tuesday, about how we should let women run things in the country for a while since men have been f**king things up for a couple of centuries?

Well, Tuesday was a good day for women, and Democrats.

More than half of the winning Democratic candidates for House seats in Tuesday’s primary elections were women, and, in the four states that held primary elections — Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia — 22 out of 40 congressional districts picked women as their Democratic nominees, including eight women of color; women also won 17 of 20 Democratic primary races for open seats.

I’m liking this, a lot.

I have been watching Vida, still, the show on Starz about the two Latina sisters who return home to their mother’s funeral and find out Mama had a lesbian lover.

I’m guessing the show is written by women … or gay men … because there is a fair amount of male nudity in the show; week two gave us the second appearance of Carlos Miranda’s glorious ass, and also introduced us to neighborhood hottie, Tlaloc Medina, played by he-of-the-gorgeous hair, Ramses Jimenez. It also gave us some male frontal nudity from Jackson Davis, who plays Juniper. Jackson was in a scene with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend where she was, um, well, she was down there and, well, it led to a line of dialogue I never thought I’d hear from a TV show, even a cable show, in which the ex-girlfriend says:

“You waited for me to eat your ass before you dumped me?”

I know. Cable, huh?

Random Musings

I just finished reading Guts by Kristen Johnston.

If you don't know her, she's an actress, most well-known for appearing on #rd Rock from the Sun. I never saw that show, because of a severe case of John Lithgow loathing, but I've always enjoyed Kristen on talk shows; she's quite funny, and very self-deprecating, and I am all about self-deprecating humor.

Oh, and humor aimed at others, too. But I digress,

Guts tells the story, and stories, of Kristen Johnston's life, as a Freak in school; of feeling like an 'other'--feelings which resonated with me as I reflected on my own school days, or daze. It also chronicles her addiction to pain medications and alcohol, and how, while appearing in a play in London, her stomach literally exploded.

Hence, Guts.

But it isn't all horror stories and drug addiction,. It's recovery, from the whole stomach thing and from addiction. it's the story of being different and feeling different, and how long it takes some of us, no matter what our circumstances, to realize we aren't different, we're just us.

It's hysterically written. You'll be laughing one minute and then be horrified the next, but it's a great, great story.

Guts: the Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster by Kristen Johnston. 

Get it.

The GOP is taking Barack Obama to task for his alleged politicizing of the capture and death of Osama bin Laden.

Um, GOP? STFU.

See, bin Laden was captured and killed under his watch, so he has earned the right to talk about it.

And, if politicizing that bothers you, take a stroll back in time, to W's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" speech. Or even back to W's fighter pilot arrival on that aircraft carrier and the banner that said "Mission Accomplished" when it wasn't.

And then take a gander at W's 2004 re-election campaign when he used fear of reprisal from al Quaeda to win the election.

Oh, GOP, you're all so Bible-thumping, but you missed the passage about those who have have no sin casting the first stone.

Again, STFU.

Okay, when I first saw that Tan Mom--seriously, she doesn't look tan, she looks like a burn victim--who is in trouble for bringing her young child into a tanning booth with her, I was disgusted.

Then I saw the mom, who obviously has issues with her looks because she's addicted to tanning and looks at least twice her forty years. Her skin is as chewy and sick looking as leather, and all I could think of was the N-word.

Not that one: Naugahyde.

Seriously sad.

Richard Grenell says he was "hounded from the Romney campaign by anti-gay conservatives" and so he tendered his resignation.

Was it the anti-gay forces who bashed the Romney campaign for hiring an openly gay man when Mitt Romney clearly does not like the gays? Or, was he chased away by his own Tweets and his own words?

I think it was a combination of both. I mean, how can you have a spokesman who has Tweeted some very hurtful and harmful things about other public figures, including some homophobic Tweets about Rachel Maddow?

His self-loathing drove him from the campaign. His own words.

Sitting down to watch Smash this week, the show began with, of course, a fabulous showtune, "Another Opening, Another Show."

I was giddy as a schoolgirl, singing along, and trying to get Carlos to join in.

But, and I cannot fathom this, he said, while he may have heard the song before, he said, and I'm so sorry, He.Does.Not.Know.The.Words.

I am seriously afraid the Gay Mafia and the Showtune Squad will be knocking on our front door any minute asking for the return of his Gay Membership card, the Toaster Oven, and his copy of The Gay Agenda.

Pray for him.

Sweet Tweet:

New book; er, books.

I have a tendency to read more than one book at a time. I was reading Stephen King's 11/22/63--which I found overly long...I mean, does every King book need to be 800 pages--while I was also reading Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay on my Kindle--Yes...I got a Kindle...though I will not stop buying 'real' books.

Now, I am onto The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta, which tells a story of The Rapture, which isn't really a Rapture, but more of a Sudden Departure because it didn't take all those God-fearing, God-worshipping folks, but it did take some of them, and some non-believers and, gasp, even some homosexuals.

So, what if The Rapture came and didn't take the ones who thought they should go? And what if it did take the ones who didn't believe? Or the ones who, according to those God-fearing-and-worshipping folks, shouldn't have been allowed to go? How do those Leftovers feel about being leftovers?

And, I am also reading The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon. 

It's an older book, first published in 1988, but I recently saw the movie based on the novel, and I really enjoyed it, so i decided to see what the novel was like.

It tells the about a young man, graduating from college, and how he spends that last summer before "life" is supposed to start. And how that last summer shapes what may, or may not, be his "life".

It's kind of a coming of age story, though, from what I saw in the film, it's also a coming to life story.

And, of course, I am scouring Amazon for a new Kindle read, so....there will be more. 

I've given up on Idol because, seriously, except for Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, none of the winners have had any great success. In fact, some of the losers have become more successful than the winners.

Daughtry, JHud. Adam Lambert.

But, I was channel surfing the other night as the show started and I was stunned to see that Miss Ryan Seacrest is still coming down the big stairs as the show opens, like some sort of cheap Vegas showgirl.

Ego much.

And I'm also not much for The Voice. 

I don't care for Blake Shelton or Adam Levine, and Cee Lo's little tiny hands kinda scare me. I do enjoy, though, watching to see how drunk Christina is acting.

But then even that gets sad and I click away.

And, in addition to not watching Idol, I also don't watch The Apprentice because Trump is a toupee-wearing, ego-0manaiacal blowhard.

But I digress. it isn't Trump and His Magic Hair that has gotten me a'scurred, it's the appearance of former Idol loser Clay Aiken.

He's on the show this time around and I saw a picture of him with his new face.

His new jacked up face.

Seriously Clay? Why?

Did anyone read that story of the woman who took her lottery ticket back to the store to see if it was a winner and, after scanning the ticket, she was told she hadn't won anything?

Well, she threw the ticket away. And another woman found it, took it into the store, and had it scanned and found that it was a MILLION DOLLAR TICKET!

Now, the woman who bought the ticket is suing the woman who found the ticket because she wants her million. But the finder has already spent some of the money.

Is this a case of :finders keepers" or should the ticket purchaser be allowed to recoup her winnings? And, if so, should the finder have to pay her for the money she spent?

My personal thought is that the store, and the company who made the faulty scanner, should somehow be involved in paying off this woman, After all, had the scanner not been wrong, she never would have thrown the ticket out.

What do you think?