Why Is It ...

… that instead of writing LOL—I kid,  never write or say LOL—I’m going to start writing SALTS …Smiled A Little Then Stopped.

… that I often wish I could go back in time and leave some people right where I found them.

… that the health-nuts at work told me that I am what I eat but I don’t remember eating anxiety and back pain and rage at coworkers telling me what to eat.

… that I like smiling at people, for no reason, who don’t like me; stay bothered.

… that I have made really bad decisions while drunk, but then I ask myself if the sober ones were any better and the answer is, not so much.

… that it’s my ability to read the room that keeps me staying home.

… that my boss still doesn’t realize I don’t go to work to hustle and grind, but to chit and chat and take time off.

… that when my therapist told me I needed to love myself, I replied, ‘I’m not really my type.’

… that my boss wasn’t happy when I said I needed  a ‘maycation,’ especially when I explained that meant that I may come back or I may not.

… that being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Why Is It ...

… that sometimes I feel like giving up even though I know I have a lot of people to prove wrong.

… that I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired and today isn’t looking so good and I’ve already used up tomorrow’s tired.

… that every day I try to decide if I should be an example or a warning to others.

… that people should stop asking me for moral support when they all know I have questionable morals.

… that I am always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.

… that I’m pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and then I’ll have the whole set. 

… that people are afraid to share my posts because they think the SWAT team will come knocking on their door. I mean, the SWAT team doesn’t knock.

… that, while I don’t know if I could ever ‘complete’ someone, driving them batshit crazy sounds doable.

… that if anyone uses the F-word twice in a single sentence I feel like I have found My People.

… that it took me this long to get my Senior GPS. I mean, not only does it tell me how to get to my destination, it tells me why I wanted to go there in the first place.