Bring Your Assault Weapon To The GOP Convention, But Not Your Super Soaker

The GOP … what are they thinking?

I kid; they don’t think. And that is clearly evident by the fact that at this year’s Republican National Convention protestors can come armed … just not with water pistols and Super Soakers.

Yup, the GOP said you can bring your guns and rifles and assault weapons to the protest but no water pistols … or soda cans … glass bottles … tennis balls … umbrellas with metal tips and “any projectile launcher” like BB guns, paintball guns and water guns.

“Hey there! You with the umbrella! Halt!”

And yet a loaded gun is fine. I guess it makes sense; I mean, do you really want someone with a water pistol taking aim at that Tabby Cat that sits atop the [t]Rump’s melon and shooting it off?

Still, guns are fine … loaded guns even … since Ohio is an open-carry state that has no ban on assault weapons, so long as they are legally obtained and don’t fire more than 31 cartridges without reloading. You know, it’s illegal to kill 31 people with your assault weapon unless you have stop before taking aim at the next 31 and reload your weapon.

Tim Selaty, director of operations at Citizens for Trump, who is an obvious moron, put it this way:

“You can take my string and you can take my duct tape, but you can’t take my gun — it’s open carry.”

That makes sense because remember when that lunatic walked into that theater in Colorado and killed all those people with string … or the guy who used duct tape to murder people in that church in Charleston?

That’s the GOP; that’s the NRA; that’s what we’ll get if people don’t Vote Blue.

Now, to be fair, since [t]Rump, for the time being until his campaign implodes and he becomes the Biggest Loser in November, is under Secret Service protection, guns of any kind will not be allowed inside the arena; the Secret Service calls that area a “protected site” where only law enforcement officers can carry guns — but even some gun zealots have fought that rule.

Seriously. But, remember, guns don’t kill people, the GOP in the back-pocket of the NRA and the NRA, kill people.

NY Daily News

Vacation Post: The Funny Papers

RJ Matson, Nate Beeler, Clay Bennett, Steve Sack, Jim Morin, Dana Summers

Romney Gets No Bounce From Last Week's GOP Convention

It's inevitable that when you get a lot of focus....All eyes on me!....that you become, for a time at least, more popular. I mean, you're the Next big Thing, the It Girl, or, in this case, the It Mitt.

See, last week the GOPers got together and held their little convention thingy down in Tampa, and lotsa folks raved about Mittsy; well, actually, that was just his wife who tried, and failed, to make Mittsy seem like an Everyman and their family seem average. Most speakers at the convention raved about themselves, setting up a possible run at the White House in 2016...I'm looking at you, Chris Christie. And some folks spent a lot of time insinuating things that weren't true...And now we focus on you, Lyin' Paul Ryan.

But a funny thing happened about Mittsy' turn in the spotlight last week: no one cared. According to a recent Gallup Poll, Mittsy got no real discernible bounce in the polls after last week's Republican National Convention. In fact, the 46% of registered voters who supported him in polls for August 31 through September 3 is roughly the same as the 47% who preferred him in August 24-27 tracking, four days preceding the convention.

Ouch.

In the past, presidential nominees have usually seen their support among registered voters rise about five-points following their party's convention. But Mittsy becomes one of three recent nominees--and the first Republican--who did not receive a convention bounce. He joins George McGovern, from 1972, and John Kerry, from 2004; and like Mittsy, McGovern and Kerry challenged incumbent presidents, with McGovern suffering a landslide defeat to Richard Nixon and Kerry losing a close election to George W. Bush.

So, this could mean two things: Americans don't give a rat's behind about politics--and that would be sad and stupid--or, what I think, Mittsy is like Mayo on White Bread. He’s not interesting, he doesn't speak well, and he can't get his message--a message with which I vehemently disagree--across.

Yet any way you slice it, while the race is still close, and everyone, EVERY-freaking-ONE, needs to get out and vote this time, it seems as if Mittsy will be struggling through the Fall, and maybe suffering a fall, come November.

via Gallup

Random Musings

Chick-fil-Antigay.

My final word. I hope.

See, here’s my deal: Dan Cathy can be anti-LGBT. He has the right. He has the right to speak that thought and he has the right to give his money to groups that promote that thought, no matter how hate-filled I think they might be…and they are that hate-filled.

So, we protest right? We use our voices to tell people that Chick-fil-Antigay takes the money we spend on chicken and donates it to hate. That’s the good fight.

The bad fight is a kiss-in. What the hell did that do, except make it look like The Gays just wanted to go all kissy in the restaurant? What did the spraying of graffiti on a franchise do except make us look like vandals?

You wanna make a difference against a company that takes your money and spends it on hate? Stop.Eating.There. Stop giving them your money. Tell your friends and family and co-workers about their homophobia, but when you do kiss-ins and spray-paint their buildings all you do is give them more press.

Just stop.

Funny Tweet:

So there’s a new study that says homosexuality is in the eyes.

What?

Well, the study says that sexual orientation can be detected by looking at the pupils of our eyes:

For the first time, researchers at Cornell University used a specialized infrared lens to measure pupillary changes to participants watching erotic videos. Pupils were highly telling: they widened most to videos of people who participants found attractive, thereby revealing where they were on the sexual spectrum from heterosexual to homosexual.

Let me get this queer. This study found that they could tell I’m a big old queen because my eyes get wide when watching male-on-male porn?

Um…..duh.

Dan Vickery

Okay, I said I would probably never recap HGTV Shopping Design Star, and I will be holding true to that. 

But then HGTV goes and broadcasts something called Design Star: All Stars and, while I won’t be recapping I will be watching.

But….Hilari from the season that just ended is an all star? How does that happen? Bitch came in third place so how does that make her an all star? 

Sparkle Josh is an all star? Just by the fact that he calls himself Sparkle Josh means he shouldn't be on TV.

I think HGTV just sent out a mass mailing to anyone who’d ever been on the show and asked them to come back and the first six respondents got the invite.

Tom Vecchione

Still, Dan Vickery, who just missed winning in season four is back, and HGTV is kind enough to focus a great deal of attention, and camera time, to his cute little butt. It’s like they read my mind. And then they go and add some Mad Men-esque, Tom Vecchione, from season 5, and suddenly I cannot look away.

Little, muscular Tom and tall, lanky, sexy Dan.

Must see HGTV.

Must see Hot HGTV.

Funny Tweet:

The hot mess GOP convention. The Ron Paulettes threaten all sorts of fun, and now the party has come up with their list of speakers.

The good news? No Sarah Palin, because even her own party knows she a dimwit and an asshat and basically an illiterate fool. But, they have asked Grampa John McCain, who was oh-so-not successful four years ago against Barack Obama, so I expect he’ll do a little whining, and little backtracking on his Mittsy loathing.

And they’ve even offered a top spot to our own little Tea Party darling, South Carolina Governor, Nikki ‘I’m So Transparent’ Haley, who never met a lie she didn’t want to repeat, and Mike ‘Batshit Crazy’ Huckabee, one of the biggest rightwingnuts in the group; if you don’t count Florida’s Governor/Criminal Rick Scott.

It’s the GOP convention, people, or as I call it, Pander-To-The-Tea-Party-Palooza.

The Illinois Family Institute, the former home of Peter LaBarbera, has issued a call for parents to pull their kids out of the classes of liberal, or gay, teachers.

I see nothing wrong with that. I mean, years back my parents went to the school and pulled me out of classes taught by conservatives—

Oh, wait. That didn’t happen. See, my parents simply wanted the teachers who were best at teaching things like readin’, writin’, and arithmetic.

Gay or straight.

Thanks Mom and Dad for not being bigots.