Life IS Good.....Thanks Corey

I have been honored with the Life Is Good Award, bestowed upon me by one Corey, AKA The MadTexter, and now I must answer a series of questions posed by Corey. Anyone who wishes to follow suit may do so, or, even take a stab at answering these questions in the comments section of ISBL.

So, first off, Thanks Corey, and now.......

Let's rip:

1) If you could go back to being a teenager knowing all that you know now, would you?

Tempting as that may be, to be a younger, infinitely more wise, version of me, I don't think I'd take that trip back in time. The things I've done, learned, seen, heard, felt, touched, tasted, have made me the Bob I am today, and, such as I am, I wouldn't change that. So, that's my log-winded, gas-bag way of saying I wouldn't go back to be teenaged Bob.

2) If you could be a fly on a wall for 5 minutes in any home in the world, who's home would it be?

Dick Cheney. I'd like to see if he's a raging fucktard whose head is permanently ensconced in his ass when the cameras are off, too.

3) What hair color attracts you? Black, Brown, Blonde, Auburn, Silver?

Well, I am attracted every day to a man who has, er, had, black hair, but every once in a while there's something to be said for a blond. No. Black hair. Carlos, Colin Farrell, Denzel Washington. All hot; all black hair. Yup, black.......unless. No. Black.

4) If you could move to another country and live there the rest of your life, what country would it be, and why?

I would move to Africa because I believe all life springs from Africa. 'Nuff said.

5) (Referring to the film The Box) If someone offered you $1million, but the catch was that someone random in the world would die if you took the money, would you take it? If 'yes', defend your answer.

Nope. I seriously couldn't/wouldn't wish death upon anyone. Plus, I'd know someone else would have the chance and I just might be that "random" death.

6) If you could ask any person (famous or otherwise) one question, who would it be and what would you ask them?

Well, anyone who knows me, knows that my hero is Rosa Parks, so i'd ask her if she was really tired the day she refused to give up her seat, or was she just tired of the bullshiz going on at the time.

7) If you could pick the winner of American Idol, who would it be?
Well, I have been Team Bowersox since day one. No other answer.

8) What is your favorite TV program of all time?

The Dick Van Dyke Show. Or it's modern day equivalent, Seinfeld.

9) What is your dream job?

Retired. Or writing. Writing about retirement. Retiring after writing.

10) If you could be King or Queen of any country in the world (whether it's currently a democracy or not), what country would it be?

Oh, I'd turn South Carolina into its own country and I'd be its first Queen. Just because I'd like to see the Bible Thumpers stampede for the border. See, in South Carolina, it's not the heat, it's the stupidity.

Razzie Nominations

Following a Banner Year for Bad Movies, voting members of The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation have sifted through the cinematic rubble and selected what they consider to be last year’s Berry Worst “Achievements” in Film.

And the nominees are:

WORST PICTURE OF 2009

“All About Steve”

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

“Land of the Lost”

“Old Dogs”"

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

WORST ACTOR OF 2009

All Three Jonas Brothers, “Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience”

Will Ferrell, “Land of the Lost”

Steve Martin, “Pink Panther 2″

Eddie Murphy, “Imagine That”

John Travolta, “Old Dogs”

WORST ACTRESS Of 2009

Beyonce, “Obsessed”

Sandra Bullock, “All About Steve”

Myley Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”

Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Sarah Jessica Parker, “Did You Hear About the Morgans?”

WORST SCREEN COUPLE OF 2009

Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, “The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience”

Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, “All About Steve”

Will Ferrell and any co-star, Creature or “Comic Riff,” “Land of the Lost”

Shia Lebouf & Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Kristin Stewart and either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Whatz-His-Fang, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2009

Candice Bergen, “Bride Wars”

Ali Larter, “Obsessed”

Sienna Miller, “G.I. Joe”

Kelly Preston,”Old Dogs”

Julie White (as Mom), “Trannies, Too”

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2009

Billy Ray Cyrus, “Hannah Montana: The Movie”

Hugh Hefner (as himself), “Miss March”

Robert Pattinson, “Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka), “Land of the Lost”

Marlon Wayans, “G.I. Joe”

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (COMBINED CATEGORY FOR 2009)

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

“Land of the Lost”

“Pink Panther 2″ (A Rip-Off of a Sequel to a Remake)

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

“Twilight Saga: New Moon”

WORST DIRECTOR OF 2009

Michael Bay, “Trannies, Too”

Walt Becker, “Old Dogs”

Brad Silberling, “Land of the Lost”

Stephen Sommers, “G.I. Joe”

Phil Traill, “All About Steve”

WORST SCREENPLAY OF 2009

“All About Steve,” screenplay by Kim Barker

“G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra,” screenplay by Stuart Beattie and David Elliot & Paul Lovett, based on Hasbro’s G.I. Joe Characters.

“Land of the Lost,” written by Chris Henchy & Dennis McNicholas, based on Sid & Marty Krofft’s TV series

“Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen,” written By Ehren Kruger & Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, based on Hasbro’s Transformers Action Figures

“Twilight Saga: New Moon,” screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE (3 SPECIAL 30TH RAZZIE-VERSARY AWARDZ)

“Battlefield Earth” (2000) — Nominated for 10 Razzies, “winner” of 8 (including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Years)

“Freddy Got Fingered” (2001) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five

“Gigli” (2003) — Nominated for 10 Razzies, winner of seven (including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Years)

“I Know Who Killed Me” (2007) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of eight

"Swept Away” (2002) — Nominated for nine Razzies, “winner” of five

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE

Ben Affleck — (Nominated for nine “achievements,”winner” of two Razzies) “Daredevil,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Paycheck,” “Pearl Harbor,” “Surviving Christmas”

Eddie Murphy — (Nominated for 12 “achievements,” “winner” of three Razzies) “Adventures of Pluto Nash,” “I Spy,” “Imagine That,” “Meet Dave,” “Norbit,” “Showtime”

Mike Myers — (Nominated for four “achievements,” “winner” of two Razzies), “Cat in the Hat,” “The Love Guru”

Rob Schneider — (Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of one Razzie) “The Animal,” “Benchwarmers,” “Deuce Bigalo: European Gigolo,” “Grandma’s Boy,” “The Hot Chick,” “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry,” “Little Man,” “Little Nicky”

John Travolta — (Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of the Razzies) “Battlefield Earth,” “Domestic Disturbance,” “Lucky Numbers,” “Old Dogs,” “Swordfish”

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE

Mariah Carey – (The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% Of ALL Votes For Worst Actress Of 2001), “Glitter”

Paris Hilton (Nominated for five “Achievements,” “Winner” of four Razzies) “The Hottie & The Nottie,” “House of Whacks,” “Repo: The Genetic Opera”

Lindsay Lohan — (Nominated for five “achievements,” “winner” of three Razzies) “Herbie Fully Loaded,” “I Know Who Killed Me,” “Just My Luck”

Jennifer Lopez — (Nominated for nine “achievements,” “winner” of two Razzies) “Angel Eyes,” “Enough,” “Gigli,” “Jersey Girl,” “Maid in Manhattan,” “Monster-in-Law,” “The Wedding Planner”

Madonna — (Nominated for six “achievements,” “winner” of four Razzies) “Die Another Day,” “The Next Best Thing,” “Swept Away”