Monday, January 03, 2011

Lohan's Out

Okay, so I've made my share of Lindsay Lohan jokes. I've probably made more than my share. Sue me. But now, Lohan is getting out of rehab, and I have a wee bit of advice for the former actress turned wacktress.

STFU.

Stay away from Oprah. Don't give us Lohan interviews where you blame everyone for your troubles, or tell us that everyone goes through their rough patches.

At twenty-four, though you look twice that age, there are few "troubled" girls who have attempted their sixth stint at rehab, so, take responsibility, Lindsay. You effed up. Pay the price, knock it off, and move on.

Or don't, and become just another casualty of a self-involved, self-entitled starlet who threw it all away on an eightball and some prescription meds.

And, while you're shutting up, pass the word along to your mother and father who spend more time trying to diminish your crimes, all of them from theft to car-jacking to kidnapping to speeding to being a drug addict and alcoholic, than they spend trying to be parents.

Tell them to shut up. This isn't normal teenage girl growing pains because, well, you aren't a normal teenage girl. Hell, you aren't even a teenager. You're mid-forties, or something.

So, Lindsay.....Linds.....stay quiet. Stay out of the public eye. Stay clean. Stay sober and stay out of trouble. See, if you don't, I'll be right back on here documenting your every night club stumble, and ankle bracelet alarm and car crash and drug test and Fuck You manicure.

Seriously, STFU.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

God... such support! She should be so grateful...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Now, if she would only listen to you she wouldnt be in so much trouble!

Sick of these people with money to burn that throw it away on being weak- they really don't deserve any of it.

Robyn said...

Amen! You took the words right out of my mouth.

robertga99 said...

good advice!

BosGuy said...

Any running bets on how long before she heads back in?