Bobservations

We don’t use a lot of sugar at Casa Bob y Carlos … a wee bit in the tea pitcher, and maybe some when Carlos bakes, but that’s about it. I use Agave in my coffee each morning and we buy it at CostCo where you can get two jars cheaper than at the grocers.

Last week, we’d made plans to hit CostCo on Saturday, but then I ran out of Agave on Thursday and as the childish, er, child-like, one in the house I pitched a hissy. I grabbed the empty bottle and shouted:

“There’s no Agave! There’s no Agave!”

I tapped the table with the empty bottle repeating myself, and Carlos swiftly grabbed my hand and took the bottle:

“Stop acting like a child!”

He set the bottle on the table and I could see his mind working, knowing that it was still within my grasp, so he set it on the chair between us, and smiled.

Then I smiled. And lifted my foot and kicked the bottle onto the floor again because I am childish, er, child-like, and fun! Clearly Carlos had forgotten the Great Loaf of Bread Toss of 2019.

This Tuxedo [and MaxGoldberg] Memory is from March 2017 …

“Carlos dubs these photos as proof that Tuxedo and MaxGoldberg are homosexual cats. I think they just like to stay warm on cool mornings and Consuelo is not a snuggler.”

Not homosexuals, just two cats who loved each other very much.

Look, I know what they’re trying to say with this license plate, but it’s completely missing the mark and now a whole different crowd is following this car home.

Last week, in front of nearly 75 guests, two officials with Arizona’s attorney general’s office arrived at Rudy Giuliani’s 80th birthday bash in Palm Beach to hand him the papers in the case alleging he and 17 others participated in a plot to overturn the 2020 election.

Some partygoers started screaming and one woman even cried as Giuliani was served. And even #DrunkleRudy was unsure of what was happening and thought he was being given cocktail napkins.

Rumor has it … I adore Adele, but I digress … that the bigwigs at ABCNews are worried about their new reporter DeMarco Morgan, a gay man, and his Delightful Bulge on Morgan’s Instagram page.

Just a note … I don’t mind it at all and have written to ABC demanding that they let him do his reporting in his bike shorts … #PrecociousBulge.

Fox News’ Sean Hannity has a particular demand for how the upcoming CNN-hosted debate between President Biden and Hair Furor June should be handled:

Moderators shouldn’t be allowed to fact-check Hair Furor during answer blocks.

Hannity whines about the liberal media but what he’s really saying is that Hair Furor will lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and lie and should go unchecked.

Well, Sean, if you want him to lie openly have him appear on your show every day because that’s all you do.

Back near the end of the 20th Century , when Sex and The City premiered the show was as much about the fashion as the characters and the sex and the city. But clearly times have changed and Grandma SJP doesn’t really rock the avant-garde wardrobe any longer … which may explain this outfit that looks like she has a pillowcase on her head.

And do not get me started on the dress or the shoes!

Rightwingnut Sebastian Gorka stopped a press conference outside Hair Furor’s hush money trial to tell a reporter it was “pathetic” to suggest Inmate # P01135809 is part of the “ruling class” or “elite.”

The man who calls himself a billionaire, who lives in a penthouse with a golden toilet and has his own plane is not one of the “elite”?

Bitch, please.

Eian Scully has been a top fashion model and fitness trainer, both in and out of his clothes, for several years now, but only now has he joined the pages of … Would You hit It?

The Funny Papers

Walt Handelsman, Jack Ohman, David Fitzsimmons, Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Deb Milbrath, Bill Bramhall, Darrin Bell, David Horsey, Ann Telnaes, RJ Matson, Drew Sheneman, Mike Luckovich, Michael de Adder, Marc Murphy, 

Open Letter Tuesday: Dear Madonna

Dear Madonna,

You’re still popular. You still sell out arenas full of screaming fans; people still buy, or download, your music, and some folks, a few anyway, go see your movies. But I’m guessing you’re feeling the pressure of new artist nipping at your heels; new artists trying to take your place. How else do we explain your antics, your shock moments that seem perfectly staged to keep you in the news, to keep you relevant?

I mean, you whipped out guns during your last concert tour as a show of shock and after dogging Janet Jackson’s ALLEGED wardrobe malfunction, you flashed your boobs and your ass onstage. You ask if molly is in the house from the stage to prove you’re just as hip as the kids. 

And then this: you posted another picture to Instagram—another show of relevancy—of your 13-year-old son Rocco Ritchie boxing with the quote:

No one messes with Dirty Soap! Mama said knock you out! #disni**a."

And then, naturally because I’m sure it was part of your Relevancy Plan, as people began to voice their disapproval, and anger, you replaced that caption with this one:

Ok let me start this again. #get_off_of_my_dick_haters!

And then the story kept growing and growing, which I’m sure was your intention, and you issued a formal “apology” through your representative Liz Rosenberg:

"I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram. It was not meant as a racial slur... I am not a racist. There's no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention... It was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me."

As I explained earlier today to Juan Pablo, there is no such thing as an apology that starts off with ‘I’m sorry if …’

I’m sorry I offended anyone. That’s an apology, Madge. That’s how it’s done.

I don't think you're a racist, Madge, and I don't think, as others have said, that you're stupid. I think you are cold and calculating about your career and will do anything, say anything, show anything, wear anything, to get attention, to keep your name out there. Hmm, come to think of it, that is kinda stupid ...

And, while I really don’t wish to add to your quest for continued relevance, I would like to know how using the term “did ni**a” is empowering to the white son of a rich woman? How, exactly, is Rocco empowered by that?He isn’t. It was a ploy for attention, as are most of the things you do. So stop, and think, before you speak.

Just stop. It’s getting as old as you. 

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