Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Has Partisan Hack Darrell Issa Turned On The Republican Party?

Is the tide turning against Hair Furor? Are there some in his own party who can see the future and are now trying to move away from his special brand of crazy so they, too, will not suffer the fate of losing a reelection bid?

I’m not talking Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell; they’re too far gone to be helped, but what about California Republican Congressman Darrell Issa?

He is, perhaps, one of the most partisan members of Congress, who voted for, and with, every single Republican ideal, ever and always. He is so bad, that President Obama, who rarely said anything negative about his fellow politicians, called Issa “shameless” and said his main contribution to American politics was “to obstruct and to waste taxpayer dollars on trumped-up investigations that have led to nowhere.”

Benghazi, anyone? Emails?

So, it comes as a bit of a surprise that Darrell Issa has called for an independent special prosecutor to investigate President _____’s Russia scandal. And then Issa took it a step further, aligning himself with :::gasp::: Democrats, by saying:
“You can’t have somebody, a friend of mine, Jeff Sessions, who was on the campaign, and who was an appointee, you’re going to need to use the special prosecutor’s statute and office.”
Yup, he’s asked that Sessions recuse him from any investigation into what ____ knew and when Putin knew it, because Issa knows, as most of us know, that Jeff Sessions will do whatever it takes to protect the president, even if it means siding with _____ and Russia.

And then, because he’s clearly seen the havoc going on around the country at Republican Town Hall meetings, Issa also admitted that there wasn’t enough engagement with the public, sparking anger in the electorate toward _____ and the GOP.

And then, someone hand me my smelling salts, I’m too busy clutching my pearls, Republican partisan hack Darrell Issa noted that the GOP is having difficulty replacing and repealing Obamacare and the expansion of Medicaid was achieved under the Obama administration, and said, well, hinted, that he is not fully onboard with repealing and replacing.

Darrell Issa is the first congressional Republican to speak out against _____ and Jeff Sessions, but is it because he’s truly alarmed at what’s happening or, as I said earlier, has he seen the crystal ball and realized that if he continues goose-stepping along with hair Furor he might be out of a job in 2018?

Hopefully his words will sparks others in the GOP to come out against the Tiny Fisted Tyrant because, and I truly believe this, the GOP will try to impeach _____ to save their own asses and jobs.

And I will have popcorn at the ready to watch the fun.

Arizona Votes For "Thought Police"

Last week Arizona GOP senators—who believe the resisters are being paid to protest, though they cannot say from whom or how much—voted to give police new power to arrest anyone who is involved in a peaceful demonstration that may turn bad even if it hasn’t yet turned bad.

Free speech is on the ropes, y’all, because now police will be able to decide to arrest on the chance that maybe, the protest you are attending might, could, somehow, become violent.

Arizona’s SB1142 expands the state’s racketeering laws—which are now aimed at organized crime—to also include rioting, and this new law redefines what constitutes rioting to include actions that result in damage to the property of others.

So, what that means, is that if you protest, even peacefully, you can be arrested because police think it might turn violent, and then the Arizona government can criminally prosecute you and seize your assets, and the assets of everyone who ever planned or participated, in a protest, to pay for any damage.

Look, I’ll make this queer: I am all for a protest; a march, a chant, a song, a dance, to highlight your frustration and anger is a good thing. Busting windows, stealing TVs, setting cars on fire is not a protest and those folks should be arrested and made to pay restitution. But if I’m at the protest and you arrest me and make me pay for something I didn’t do, well, that ain’t America, though it is _____’s America.

And Arizona Democratic Senator Steve Farley made an interesting argument about the flaws in this new law: what if the person who broke the window, or vandalized the store, and triggered the alleged riot, was not a member of the protestors, but someone from the other side?

Yup, how can you tell who did what and why, and how can you make anyone pay for something for which they are not responsible?

Democratic Senator Martin Quezada did acknowledge that, often, what’s planned as a peaceful demonstration can turn violent:
“When people want to express themselves as a group during a time of turmoil, during a time of controversy, during a time of high emotions, that’s exactly when people gather as a community. Sometimes they yell, sometimes they scream, sometimes they do go too far.’’
But, Quezada said, while everything that constitutes rioting is already a crime, ranging from assault to criminal damage, and those responsible can be individually prosecuted, the purpose of this new bill appears to be the First Amendment rights of people to demonstrate.

Republican Senator John Kavanagh, who is naturally for the bill, played up the claim that there are professional protestors at these events and that’s what the bill targets. But Kavanagh has no way of knowing if protestors are being paid and he has no proof that at any demonstration that’s taken place in this country since that fateful day in January when hate took the Oval, that anyone was paid to be there.

It’s FakeNews; but, many Republicans are goose-stepping along with Hair Furor and saying paid protesting does happen because without being paid, no one would protest the _____ White House.

Yeah, I know. And, here’s something even scarier; by including rioting into racketeering laws, this new bill allows police to arrest anyone even planning a protest or march.

Thought police, y’all; you plan a protest, you plan on committing vandalism or crimes.

And Kavanagh takes a cue from _____’s playbook by asking if you’d “rather stop a riot before it starts?”:
“Do you really want to wait until people are injuring each other, throwing Molotov cocktails, picking up barricades and smashing them through businesses in downtown Phoenix?”
Um, just because we march doesn’t mean we’re out to hurt anyone, or damage any business, and to make it more clear, using Kavanagh’s logic, shouldn’t we arrest anyone who has a gun because they might use it to kill someone?

I mean, are we going to be a country where you’re arrested for what you might do? Is that what the country will become under President ____? 

If it is, then I’ll be marching against it.

Monday, February 27, 2017


Well, another year and another Gay Super Bowl, er, Oscars. And, as is almost always the case, the awards went pretty smoothly, no real big upsets or surprises ... except for that one yuuuuuuge upset surprise right there at the end. But we’ll get to that in a minute; let me start by telling you how feel ....

Gosh, I find Justin Timberlake so full of himself and so try-hard and so look at me I’m not really that talented though you think I am especially when I’m singing a song that sounds like a riff rip-off of Pharrell’s Happy .... Just sayin’.

Jimmy Kimmel was funny, with a few flatliners in the show, but I’ll share some lines I liked the best ...
“The way you people go through hosts, it’s probably my last time here”
And the running gag of the night being Kimmel’s “feud” with Matt Damon, which began year’s back when Kimmel’s then-girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, sang a song called, ahem, “I’m F**king Matt Damon.”

A quick glance at Mel Gibson in the audience and, sheesh, does he look like a crazy old man or what? I mean, I know he has a temper, but he scares me so badly that I’ve taken out a restraining order against lest he ever show up in Smallville.

Jimmy Kimmel calling Matt Damon a dumbass because he could have starred in Manchester By the Sea instead of producing it and he might have won an Oscar, but he gave that up to make that “Chinese pony-tail movie.”
"Things change. Last year it was the Oscars that seemed racist [but this year] black people saved NASA and white people saved jazz.”
Quick shot of ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Mahershala Ali ... HOT MAN ALERT ... hot and smoldering, smiling and shimmering. :::swoon:::
And to Isabelle Huppert, nominated for a French language film:
“We didn’t see Elle but we absolutely loved it.”
And then he went after Meryl Streep, saying he wanted to honor the “actors who seem great but really aren’t” and then calling her overrated and saying she “phoned in her performances in over fifty films” before asking about her gown, “Is that an Ivanka?” and y'all know how much i love La Streep, but I couldn't even pay attention to her because every time she was onscreen I could see, sitting a couple of rows behind ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Aldis Hodge ... HOT MAN ALERT

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR ...  Mahershala Ali ...  Moonlight

Kate McKinnon and Jason Bateman present BEST MAKE-UP ... make-up ... what you do after a fight ... Kate McKinnon is high-larious ...  Suicide Squad ... and BEST COSTUMES ... the cost of umes ... Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Kimmel brings out “Algebra’s Angels” with Hidden Figures stars Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae, who then bring out the real Katherine Johnson and give out award for BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT ... OJ: Made in America ... which I saw on TV? Huh? ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Ezra Edelman ... HOT MAN ALERT ...

The Rock, er, Dwayne Johnson appears and is not funny, and cannot sing, and should not be on my TV because he looks like an elbow ... or a penis ... or an eraser.

Kimmel reappeared and brought up the new It joke, the food joke; Ellen did it first and now it seems as if it makes an appearance on every awards show, but this time Kimmel sends candy parachuting into the theater from above, so he’ll get props for that.

HOT MAN ALERT  ... Chris Evans ... HOT MAN ALERT ... presents Best Sound Editing ... Arrival ... Sylvain Bellemare and BEST SOUND MIXING ... Hacksaw Ridge

Mark Rylance, last year’s Best Supporting Actor gives out the BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS ... Viola Davis, who kills it with her acceptance speech. A brilliant actress in everything she does, from Law & Order back in the day to Doubt and The Help and Fences and How To Get Away With Murder and everything
“Viola was just nominated for an Emmy for her Oscar’s speech.”
In what Kimmel calls the theme of the night, “Inspiration,” we see a clip of Charlize Theron watching Shirley MacLaine in The Apartment and then the two appear onstage for BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM ... The Salesman from Iran ... Asghar Farhadi ... who isn’t there to accept his award out of respect for those Muslims from the six other countries who cannot come into this country.

HOT MAN ALERT ... Sting ... HOT MAN ALERT ... sings The Empty Chair ... the song is from Jim: The Jim Foley story ... and is the tale of journalist Jim Foley who was murdered by ISIS. 

It's a short song, but sweet and poignant; still, it was so short it was less song and more stanza. But it was lovely for the forty-five seconds.

Hailee Steinfeld and ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Gael Garcia Bernal ... HOT MAN ALERT ... present BEST ANIMATED SHORT FILM ... Piper ... and then BEST ANIMATED FEATURE ... Zootopia ... but first Gael says:
“Flesh and blood actors are migrant workers. We travel all over the world. We build families. We construct stories; we build lives that cannot be divided. As a Mexican, as a Latin-American, as a migrant worker, as a human being, I am against any form of wall that seeks to separate us.”
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, from Fifty Shades of Dull ... or something ... these two are so boring and so lacking chemistry ... I don’t get it ... BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN ... La La Land ... and winner David Wascom reads from a scrap of paper thanking his wife who is STANDING right next to him!

Then a Hollywood tour group comes through ... a gag that could have fallen flat, but Kimmel saves with the help of Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington, Jennifer Aniston and Mahershala Ali ... who played with the crowd of tourists, took pictures, kissed and shook hands and then Mahershala  let these strangers touch his Oscar. Vicki and Gary from Chicago were the best ... married by Denzel while holding selfie sticks.
“You taped your dress to your boobs for nothing,”
Then came a clip called Movies Around The World, one of those things the oh so serious academy likes to do that just adds more time to an already overlong show. Edit, people, edit!

HOT MAN ALERT ... Riz Ahmed ... HOT MAN ALERT ... and Felicity Jones present BEST VISUAL EFFECTS ... The Jungle Book ... followed by another Inspiration video with Seth Rogen being inspired by Michael J, Fox ... then appearing onstage to present BEST FILM EDITING ... Hacksaw Ridge

HOT MAN ALERT ... David Oyelowo ... HOT MAN ALERT ... and Salma Hayek ... why is she there? She hasn’t made a film in years. But they present BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT ... The White Helmets ... and BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT ... Sing ... before we get

HOT MAN ALERT ... John Cho ... HOT MAN ALERT ... and Leslie Mann to tell us about the Science and Technology Awards. What could have been boring and bad was made funny by their banter ... 
“We did not go into space.”
Another Inspiration moment between ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Javier Bardem ... HOT MAN ALERT ... and Meryl Streep, who then present  BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY ... La La land

Mean Tweets Oscar Edition:

Jessica Chastain:
“I’m going to white balance my TV on Jessica Chastain’s chest.”
Whoopi Goldberg:
“Tanner raised his arms and my Dad looks at his armpit hair and says, ‘It looks like you’ve got Whoopi Goldberg in a headlock.’”
Emma Stone:
“Emma Stone looks like a crack whore in every role she plays.”
Then ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Ryan Gosling ... HOT MAN ALERT ... and Emma Stone present John Legend signing two songs from La La Land ... “City of Stars” and “Audition.” Legend really has a magnificent voice, smooth and silky, and, yeah, he’s easy on the eyes.

Samuel L. Jackson gives the BEST ORIGINAL SCORE Oscar to Justin Hurwitz ... La La Land ... then Scarlett Johansson gives the BEST SONG Oscar to Justin Hurwitz, Benj Pasek and Justin Paul ... “City of Stars” ... La La Land ... 

Benj Pasek is a cute little, I assume, gay boy.
 “Fake news we hate, fake tans we love.”
Jennifer Aniston is given the intro to the Death March and Sara Bareilles sings a haunting version of “Both Sides Now.” I think she’s done the Death Song a few times now and is always good, but do you wanna be labeled the girl who sings while dead people appear behind you?

Another Inspiration video ... this time it’s Jimmy Kimmel being inspired by how bad Matt Damon is as an actor ... and then Kimmel announces the next two presenters ... “Ben Affleck and guest.” The guest is Matt Damon, and every time he speaks the orchestra, lead by Kimmel, tries to play him off. But they present BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY To Kenneth Lonergan ... Manchester By The Sea

Amy Adams brings her girls, and by girls I mean boobs, onstage to present BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY... Moonlight ... Barry Jenkins and ... HOT MAN ALERT ... Tarell Alvin McCraney ... HOT MAN ALERT ... who spoke about black and brown kids and non-gender non-conforming kids being represented in film.
“Just because a screenplay is adapted doesn’t mean we love it any less.”
BEST ACTRESS .... Emma Stone ... La La Land

BEST ACTOR ... Casey Affleck ... Manchester by The Sea ... lotsa folks thinking Denzel had this one ... alas he did not.

Halle Hairy Berry presents BEST DIRECTOR ... Damien Chazelle ... La La Land  ... and then it happened.

First, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway appeared onscreen because this is the Fiftieth Anniversary of Bonnie and Clyde and I think, “Wow, Faye Dunaway has had do much plastic surgery that she looks younger than she did fifty years ago” and “Wow, Faye Dunaway has huge fake teeth.”

But, as they announce the winner of BEST PICTURE Beatty seems confused and pausing, then hands the card to Dunaway, who announces the winner ... La La land ... cheers erupt and the cast and crew arrive onstage all aglow at their big win ... But then there’s another man onstage, alongside Jimmy Kimmel and La La Land producer announces that there’s been a mistake and Moonlight is the winner of Best picture. It seems like a bad joke, but, it’s true ... Beatty was given the envelope, a second envelope, that had the name Emma Stone and La La Land inside, which is why he paused, but when he gave it to Dunaway, she simply read La La Land.

But it wasn’t meant to be ... La La Land is a sweet beautiful film that could have gone sappy and sentimental and all kinds of wrong, and would have been a good choice for Best picture but ... Moonlight is the kind of film that you need to see an d the kind of film that stays with you long after it ends.

Either film was a good choice, but Moonlight was, seriously, the best choice.

The Oscar Fashion Report

BEST ... I had three picks this year:

Hailee Steinfield was just a shimmering gorgeous princess while ...

Janelle Monae rocked the sexy Evil Queen look. Janelle’s look might be a little much to some, but when you push it a little and look so fabulous doing it, well, that’s a winner.

And finally, my BFF Nicki Kidman; she’s been all over the place this awards season looking like a saloon girl one night and a bird of paradise another; but at the Oscars she played the simply elegant card.
VERY GOOD, clockwise from top left:

Emma Stone brought the Old Hollywood glamour with some La La fringe to the show, and picked up the Oscars while doing so.

Robin Roberts, of ABC News, stole the pre-show, however, looking like an Oscar statuette.

Viola Davis can do no wrong, acting, accepting an award, looking fabulous, she scored on all three last night.

Scarlett Johansson was a vision; a Sugar op=Plum Fairy visiting long after Christmas. Ethereal and edgy, she was.
MEH, clockwise from top left:

Amy Adams allegedly skipped the red carpet because her role in Arrival wasn’t nominated. Good thing because that’s way too much cleavage. I guess she wanted to show the academy that she had two Golden Globes and didn’t need Oscar.

Jessica Biel; she looked good from toes to ... neck. That clownish looking neckpiece—either part of the dress or a bad accessory choice, and the Frau Blücher hair—ruined it for me.

Felicity Jones looked like a thirteen –year-old girl off to her first big girl dance. This isn’t Oscar at all, and she’s a little too old to go so young.

Chrissy Teigen never met a design idea she didn’t beat to death ... high slit, peek-a-boo boobage ... spray tan ... smoky eye ... pick one, Chrissy, pick one!
ALSO MEH ... clockwise from top left:

Charlize Theron is one of the hottest women in the world—and I’m a raging homosexual so that should tell you something—but this dress does her a huge disservice. She looks so thick in the waist, and her waist looks so long. I thought she was channeling Joan Crawford Linebacker chic.

Halle Berry coud’a gone higher but that hair was just bad. I get it that she was tired of her short ‘do, but that mass off curls was too much, too square, and too much in her face. It ruined everything.

Naomie Harris looks like Casper the Friendly Superhero ... or else she got a yuuuuuuge piece of toilet paper stuck on the back of her dress.

Isabelle Huppert looked classy and sleepy and, well, it was a bit of a yawn. The only think that struck me about this look at all was how much she looks like Calista Flockhart.

Emma Roberts and Michelle Williams should become friends so they can better coordinate outfits at these shows. And if you wanna wear the same thing does it really need to be a lace tablecloth skirt? I say, No.
BAD ... left to right;

Alicia Vikander is channeling Saloon Girl Funeral Wear while ...

Brie Larson is channeling Jessica Rabbit-Ears Funeral wear and ...

Salma Hayek is channeling ... Basic Funeral Wear. Seriously, black is usually chic, but I half expected these women to arrive in hearses.
BADDER ... left to right:

Dakota Johnson has made two films all about sex and seduction and yet she dresses like Schoolmarm Oscar? With Juliette Lewis’ old hair—and even Juliette has stopped doing that.

Jennifer Aniston, on the other hand, has found a style and sticks to it like she’s hanging on for dear life. Low-cut? Check. High slit? Check. Surfer Girl hair? Check. Try.Something.New!

Leslie Mann is so funny that I thought this was a joke and she’d whip it off and give us a real dress underneath. But this yellow ... hideously yellow ... Zac Posen number just proves that if you add more and more fabric to an already ugly dress you just get a bigger uglier dress.

Aldis Hodge. Classy. Classic. And I love the jewelry on the lapel. But, sheesh, he is so damned hot my TV screen fogged up and my pants got a little tight ... down there.

Mahershala Ali, who smolders, until he smiles and he shimmers. I love the all-black look.

Riz Ahmed, from Rogue One, took the other direction and chose a beautiful blue tuxedo that fit him to a T.

Chris Evans always seems to wear a blue tuxedo, but, you know, he’s Chris Evans so he can wear anything, or nothing, if he chooses, and I’ll be good with that.

David Oyelowo is looking dapper in the white jacket with black lapels. He’s just a classy sexy guy with a classy sexy voice.

Gael Garcia Bernal. He’s such a wee thing, but he is so damned cute and he’s Hispanic and y’all knows how much I loves me a Hispanic man.

Dev Patel. He looks so much better since he cut his hair.

Glen Powell, from Hidden Figures is sleek and sexy in basic black.

John Legend always looks simply elegant, but he looks much better with Chrissy Teigen hanging all over him.

Pharrell Williams always goes a little different, a little edgy, and last night he rocked some Chanel. I’ll give him points for that and points for not wearing shorts!

Lucas Hedges, Manchester By The Sea, is giving me formal serial killer chic between the tux and the hair and I’m kinda liking it ... which says volumes about me.

Justin Timberlake is like John Legend; he looks good in a tuxedo. But, unlike Legend, he is smarmy and full of himself. Just sayin’.

Jamie Dornan stars is those sexy movies with Dakota Johnson, and he, too, looks drab and slouchy and decidedly unsexy. Plus, you’d think that since he’s a model he’d have better posture and know how to wear clothes.

Ryan Gosling is so freaking handsome and usually looks so put together, but those ruffles on the shirt are giving me either Tom Jones circa 1974, or cater waiter refilling my water glass. Hot cater waiter refilling my water glass.
Terrence Howard is either trying to be Hugh Hefner of he left his coat at home and walked out wearing a smoking jacket.

Jackie Chan also wore a robe and brought along the two stuffed Pandas he sleeps with, I guess, Seriously. Stuffed animals. At the Oscars. Oy!