It’s With Great Sadness That I Say Goodbye ….

… to The Stud, San Francisco’s oldest continuously operating queer nightclub.

Yes, The Stud, is permanently closing its current location at Ninth and Harrison streets in SoMa amid the COVID-19 crisis:

“The Stud is the country’s only cooperatively owned LGBT venue and has been in operation for 55 years [but] because of a lack of revenue due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the historic bar will be announcing that they are permanently closing their location and will be holding a drag funeral to honor the end of an era of LGBT nightlife.”

Damn you, COVID-19!

I have many fond memories of The Stud from living out West. Dancing at The Stud; drinking way too much at The Stud; finding love for the night at The Stud. Every time I’d have a visitor, off we’d go, because it was raucous and bawdy and fun and friendly and queer and safe.

My favorite story is the time a large group of us went wine tasting in Napa and then went back into The City looking for fun; our first stop was the Paradise Lounge in SoMa; a former YMCA, the dance floor was a plexiglass slab over the empty swimming pool, and bars were set up in the locker rooms. Paradise wasn’t exclusively gay, but it was a fun place to start the night. As we entered the building, my friend Robby, straight as could be, asked if it was a gay club and I said ‘No.’ It wasn’t; it was an everybody club, so in we went. After a while we wanted to switch things up and The Stud wasn’t too far, so off we went. Robby said:

“The Stud? That’s a gay place.”

“No. That’s just the name.”

But it was deliciously gay and as we entered the building, Robby leading the way, the first thing he saw were two guys in briefs dancing on the bar. He shot me a panicked look and I assured him he’d be fine.

“But what do I do if a guy hits on me and wants to dance or buy me a drink?”

“Take the drink, and if you wanna dance, dance, if you don’t then don’t.

We practically had to pry Robby outta that place later on because he was having so much fun, being straight in a gay bar.

Who. Knew.

And now, it’s going away?

Perhaps not. After initial reports claimed The Stud would be closing for good, co-owner Marke Bieschke said they have plans to look for a new location:

“We’re still going to come back when this is over—a different space with the same lovingly outrageous vibe. … And after this is all over, a new permanent location, to help rebuild the city’s shattered nightlife scene—and continue the Stud’s rough-and-tumble legacy the only way we know how: with shots up and heels high.”

Just like I remember it.

Finding A Way Into Acceptance

Lynn Koval and her sister, Lysa Broussard, wanted to open a business in South Mississippi. It sounded like a good idea, except they wanted to open a gay bar in South Mississippi where, Lynn Koval says she’s seen five gay bars fail in the past decade.

Not good business, maybe, but the sisters went ahead with their plan and opened Just Us Lounge on Division Street in Biloxi — which is where yours truly was born, by the way … not in the bar, I mean, but in Biloxi. But one thing they did a little differently than other gay bars in town, was that they decided to give back to the community in any and every way they could. 

In fact, for the past 13 Christmases, Just Us Lounge has adopted every South Mississippi Angel Tree child with HIV or AIDS and the bar buys those kids every single thing on their “wish list.” Just Us Lounge has also donated turkeys to the Back Bay Mission in Biloxi and often host all kinds of benefits in their bar. Last month, Just Us hosted a benefit night for Walk for Down Syndrome and all the money from the cover charge was donated to the organization. Lysa Broussard hopes the benefit becomes an annual fundraiser.

"We are a viable resource, not just for the LGBT community but the entire community – period. As long as we can meet overhead, our goal is to give back to our community."—Lynn Koval

And for the record, Just Us has been in business since 1998 in Biloxi, and in 1999 the sisters merged Just Us with another bar Sanctuary. They wanted Just Us to provide a safe social gathering place for the LBT community in South Mississippi, but when the bar opened the sign out front welcomed all people, gay and straight.

Now, it wasn’t always nice and sweet. When Just Us first opened fifteen years ago, Lynn Koval was greeted at the front door by three hanging nooses; the bar has also been protested by white supremacists, but Lynn and Lysa weren’t giving up.

"I told my staff that if a Molotov cocktail didn't come through our doors the first year, we would be open for 20 years-plus."—Lynn Koval

And they’re closing in on that mark, making the club open to the entire community, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days per year. And they’ve hosted all kinds of people over the years, including Biloxi Mayor A.J. Holloway and LGBT servicemen and women who are stationed at nearby Keesler Air Force Base — where, yes, I was born.

Lysa Broussard says that the key to the success of Just Us, when many other gay bars have failed, is because of the unique Coast community, which she calls a more accepting melting pot community than is found in other parts of the state.

I don’t remember much about my time in Mississippi, not because I blocked it out, but because my family moved to California when I was six months old, but I’ve always been annoyed by the ignorance of some folks in the state, the bigotry, racism and homophobia of some people in the state.

Still it’s a pleasant surprise to hear of such an accepting place down in the southernmost part of a southernmost state where being gay isn’t any different, where the gays bars are community supporters, where people help one another out no matter your race or gender or orientation.

I might wanna go check out my birthplace, and a bar or two, as an adult one day. 

source

Random Musings

GOProud, that Gay conservative group which has never officially backed marriage equality, did so last week.

GOProud.

Always late to the party.

Vicco, a small Appalachian town in Kentucky, has just become the smallest municipality in the entire country to approve an LGBT nondiscrimination law.

Vicco city attorney Eric Ashley: "Vicco is a community that believes all folks should be treated fairly. We believe everyone deserves the opportunity for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Fairness is a Kentucky value, a Vicco value, and one of our most American values."

All of Vicco's 334 residents will be protected under the fairness ordinance, which prohibits discrimination in employment, housing, and public accommodations on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Vicco becomes Kentucky's fourth municipality to pass such an ordinance, following Lexington, Louisville, and Covington, but, again, it's the smallest municipality in the United States of America to do so.

Small town, big pride.

So, we'd made plans to go see Lincoln on Monday, but then that whole inauguration thing came along and I was glued to the set watching history repeat itself.

And listening to Carlos' take on pop culture, about which he knows nothing.

For example: As Kelly Clarkson was introduced--she sang a gorgeous rendition of 'My Country Tis Of Thee'--Carlos looked at her and asked, "Lindsay Lohan?"

"Yes," I said, "Lindsay Lohan, drug addict, drunk, and jewel thief awaiting trials on both coasts has been asked to sing at the inauguration."

::::sigh::::

Out New Mexico way, state representative Brian Egolf has introduced a bill to put in place a constitutional amendment to legalize same-sex marriage on an upcoming public ballot. 

Brian Egolf:

“It’s time to recognize all the families in New Mexico who are headed by same-sex couples.”

To be fair, and honest, his proposal probably won’t have an easy time in the Legislature. Lawmakers in New Mexico can't even agree on passage of legislation calling for state-recognized domestic partnership agreements. 

Still, Egolf’s resolution, which says: “The issuance of a marriage license shall not be denied on the basis that the sex of both applicants is the same. No church or religious institution shall be required to perform a marriage ceremony or recognize a marriage for religious purposes that conflicts with the church’s or religious institution’s beliefs,” will first be heard in the House Consumer and Public Affairs Committee.

Baby steps. It's worked elsewhere and it may well work in New Mexico.
Given time.

So, Beyoncé may have lip-synched the National Anthem at the inauguration on Monday.

Am I surprised? Not one bit, I think Beyoncé's Goal #1 is to make Beyoncé look as good as possible and sound as good as possible.
Kelly sang live; James Taylor, too. But Beyoncé wanted it to be perfect, in the perfect gown, with the perfect hair and just the right amount of wind in the hair.
So, again, I don't care if she lip-synched, but I am sickened by her Diana Ross-esque arm flailing at the end.
That was too much.

On the other side of equality, Terry Lee, owner of Terry Lee Forensics, a Cedar City, Utah digital forensics company, has fired two employees because they supported President Barack Obama.

Oh, but he did, and he's quite happy about it.

Terry Lee: “They were Obama supporters. We just knew they were."

Lee first mentioned the firings in the comments section of another story in the Tribune about a Vernal, Utah, smoothie shop owner charging "liberals" a higher price than "conservatives" for drinks. That shop owner said "liberal programs" are costing his business more, so it’s only fair that left-leaning customers should pay more.

Lee showed his support for the tactic by writing: "Love it. We had to let two employees go to cover new Obongocare [sic] costs and increased taxes. Found two Obongo supporters and gave them the news yesterday. They wanted the idiot in the Whitehouse [sic], they reap the benefits.”

The comment was later deleted by the author possibly because Terry Lee doesn't know how to spell 'White House.'

Way back in the gay Dark Ages, in 1972 to be exact, Mary Ellen Cunha and Peggy Forster opened the Twin Peaks Tavern in San Francisco, at the corner of Castro and Market Streets. And, in addition to opening the doors, the two women also uncovered the windows at the bar so that the people inside could see out, and, more importantly, people outside could see in.

Twin Peaks Tavern is believed to be the first gay bar in the nation to feature full-length, open plate glass windows that let its patrons look out and the public look in. The lesbian friends, known to most regulars as "the girls," opened the bar to the world at a time when many gays still feared losing their jobs or being socially ostracized if their sexual orientation was revealed.

It has survived for 40 years as one of the Castro district's most memorable and welcoming establishments and, just last week, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors unanimously voted to give it landmark status. Twin Peaks becomes the second bar in San Francisco to have that designation; Sam Jordan's bar, named for its founder--the first African American man to run for city mayor--was the first.

This is Good News mixed in with Bad News.

The Association of Bragg Officers' Spouses—which has been in the news for denying membership to the lesbian wife of an Army officer stationed at Fort Bragg—has decided to offer that spouse, Ashley Broadway, a "guest membership" in the group.

Not a member, mind you, like she was married to a man or something, but she can be considered a guest, even though she's the legal spouse of a military member.

Less than. Back of the bus.

In a letter from the Fort Bragg spouses group's president, Mary Ring, to Broadway, Ring wrote that the guest membership was being extended "[w]hile our bylaws are being reviewed."

Uh huh.

How about just changing the by-laws and making this spouse feel just like any other spouse, and not a guest?

So, I've already poked fun at Carlos for his complete ignorance about pop culture, so let's have another go at him, shall we?

One day last week I was watching a Food Network show, with Giada De Laurentiis and Carlos came in to watch, too. But, he was less interested in what she was making and more interested in commenting on how her cleavage seemed to be the star of her show.

Yes. Carlos couldn't stop looking at her cleavage.

Later on that same day, I found him watching some TV show about girls in bikinis and a water slide.

Hmmmmm.

Then, in the car the other day Patti Labelle's 'Lady Marmalade' came on the radio and I cranked the volume and began "Mocca chocolata ya ya-ing" all over the place. I asked Carlos to sing along and he said...he said......he said.....

"I've never heard this song before."

I.Know.

Then I began thinking....never a good sign....you know all those women who marry men and then find out their husbands are gay? Maybe.....maybe.....my Carlos is.......straight?

Tweet Of The Week: