I Ain't One To Gossip, But........

Usually when people win something, a cameraman stops them and asks how they're going to celebrate the big win, and they say something about going to Disneyworld.

Well, 'Survivor: Nicaragua' winner Judson Birza, who was dubbed Fabio for his hair and, perhaps his lack of smarts, should have taken that advice. See, rather than riding the Matterhorn in celebration, Birza went skateboarding in the streets of Santa Monica, which is illegal.

Bad enough, but then he was discovered to be in possession of a, ahem, controlled substance, and I'm fairly certain it wasn't an E-ticket--I'm showing my age there, show of hands of those who remember the E-tickets at Disneyland?
But then, in addition to being busted for being too old to be illegally skateboarding in Santa Monica, and for possessing some, um, narcotic, or some such, he was also nailed for an unrelated DUI warrant and a probation violation.
When it rains, it pours, and not just in Nicaragua.
Birza was being held on $37,000 bail.
Lucky for him he just won a million bucks, something tells me he's gonna need it.

You don't mess with Howard Stern, because he ain't playin'.

Shock jock, which, for me, has a very different meaning than someone who works in radio, Howard Stern is accusing late-night talk show host, and whiner, and hack, Jay Leno of ripping off his material. Stern took his accusations to Piers Morgan's CNN show, and announced, "Jay is insane. And Jay is a crook. And the world knows exactly what he's up to. He steals a tremendous amount of material."
Big surprise, he stole Conan's job.
And this isn't the first time Stern has gone after Leno; in fact, Stern says, "Just the mere mention of Jay Leno's name makes me to want to vomit," calling the 'Tonight Show' host, "a f**king con man, rip-off artist, no idea motherf**ker*."
Hmmm, Howard? How do you really feel?
In 2009, Stern also accused Leno of stealing one of his sketch ideas outright. It seems that both hosts invited a chicken--and yes, i mean an actual bird--on their shows to predict football wins for the following week. Stern was less than pleased, saying, "This must be a giant 'Punk'd' on me. This guy's ripped off like ten major things from my show. But the chicken thing we did for years."
And if you know Howard, like I know Howard, he isn't going to let this go; it's good for ratings to keep us this feud, but he is even more annoyed that anyone actually watches Leno: "I don't know how he's beaten David Letterman in the ratings. It's beyond my comprehension. America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed -- the ones who are watching him, they must be in a coma."
Or dead.
Just sayin'.


Wow, an unplanned, unscheduled trainwreck is one thing, but to bring it back and try to recreate it's trainwreckedness--i know, not  a word--is another.

LOGO is bringing back that awful, so awful I watch every week to see how really awful it is, not-quite-so-real reality show, The A List.
Apparently the hijinks, and the lowjinks, will return in the fall of 2011 because it ranks as second most-watched series in Logo's history.
What? I thought it was the Buffy reruns....or the QAF reruns....or the Noah's Arc reruns.....or the....well, you get the idea.
There will be eleven new, 1-hour episodes picking up right where last season's crazy left off. We'll be subjected once again to Reichen and Rodiney's "relationship," Austin's attempts to stir the pot and drink himself more stupid than ever, and Ryan and his husband's struggle to adopt a child.
Wow. Color me scared.
But color me there.
I do love a trainwreck where no one actually gets hurt.

Oh Christina.
What up girrrrrl?

According to sources--and by sources I mean the team that stuffs Christina into her wardrobe--the songbird, and recent Golden Globe nominee, over-imbibed a little 'The Hurt Locker' star Jeremy Renner's 40th birthday party and gave him a rather, um, unwelcome surprise.
After the party, which was supposedly a celeb-fest, Renner went upstairs to his bedroom and he found the 'Burlesque' star sleeping it off in his bed.
According to another source--and by source, I mean the team that keeps the press filled with stories of Renner's ALLEGED non-gayness--Renner turned the Golden Globes into a Christina storytelling marathon, telling his tablemates: "I run up and open the door and I'm like, 'Um, hi. What are you doing?' She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone's birthday party that they don't know and gets in their bed? My parents were there!"
Uh oh, a high celeb party with mommy and daddy?
Another source--and by source, I mean bartender--said Christina "acted like a fool. Her boyfriend was shushing her and telling her to go to sleep."
Renner's rep says of the incident, "[Christina] was enjoying herself, but she wasn't in his bed."
Oh, so she slept it off on the bathroom floor like I used to do?


Julie Newmar was the first.
Michelle Pfieffer was next.
Halle Berry was the worst.

Now, in the new Batman movie, Anne Hathaway is set to don the claws as the new Catwoman, and I'm thinking this is purrfect.
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
Batman: The Dark Knight Rises director, Christopher Nolan, announced that Hathaway will join Tom Hardy and Christian Bale in his latest 'Batman' film: "I am thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Anne Hathaway, who will be a fantastic addition to our ensemble as we complete our story."

Tom Hardy, hunk-a-licious Tom Hardy, who also appeared in Nolan's last film, Inception, will play Batman's nemesis Bane, but Anne Hathaway was always on Nolan's shortlist of actresses--which included Jessica Biel [seriously?] and Keira Knightley--as Catwoman.

While we have seen our Catwoman's in several Batman films, this is only the second time Bane will appear in the franchise. The character was last seen as Poison Ivy's muscleman in Batman & Robin in 1997.
Hmm, Anne Hathaway? I'm there.
Christian Bale and Tom Hardy? I'm there and happy as a lark.

Elton John and David Furnish seemingly have everything.
Luxury. Each other. A fabulous life. And a new baby boy.

But, still, Elton is unfulfilled. but he doesn't long for more jewel-encrusted glasses or wackaddoodle suits. What Elton wants, more than anything, is for gay couples to have the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts.
At a recent fundraiser to overturn Proposition 8, new Daddy Elton had some choice words for those who oppose gay marriage: "I think I have it all. I have a wonderful career, a wonderful life. I have my health, I have a partner of 17 years, and now I have a son. I don't have everything because I don't have the respect of people like the church or like politicians who tell me that I'm not worthy, that I'm lesser because I'm gay, well f**k you!"
Elton then proceeded to put his money where his mouth is, and performed for the crowd, helping to raise more than $3 million dollars to fight hate, but he was still angry, and voiced his fury over the disparity between his rights and those of other parents.
"Here I am sitting with a wedding ring and I'm with my partner and we have a son, but we couldn't get married. We have a right to be recognized as a human being. We have to fight the good fight. And we will win."
Amen, Elton.


And, speaking of gay couples, though a couple not as happy as Elton and David, Melissa Etheridge revealed that she is dating Linda Wallem, the creator of Nurse Jackie, and Melissa's ex-girlfriend Tammy Lynn Michaels is none too happy about it.
Someone needs to build a bridge. 

While Etheridge and Wallem have been best friends for years--Wallem even served as "Best Man" at Michaels and Etheridge's wedding in 2003--they did not become a couple until a few months after Etheridge and Michaels split, appearing in public for the first time last August.
That's right. Melissa and Tammy Lynn split up almost a year ago, and Melissa began dating Linda over the summer, but Tammy Lynn is not happy, and not silent, about it.
Tammy Lynn has a blog, and writes what many consider to be long, rambling 'poems' where she rips into Etheridge's new relationship, and even accused Etheridge of cheating on her during their marriage--which ended officially in April 2010.

In one such poem, Tammy Lynn says, "i moved out November 23rd 2009 / she said it would help / i was convinced it would / too and i trusted there was / no one else / i didn't know / there was someone moving in / as i was moving out."

She continues, "three weeks later a box of new toys / was delivered and her assistant brought / it to my rental house as a mistake / i opened it / and that's when i felt something was up / i called her / "i have your new d***s on my kitchen counter?"

Michaels also says that she didn't realize their split was final until she listened to Etheridge's new album, "I understood / oh / you don't want to work it out / oh you already have someone in the wings / oh you already have pined for another / oh you are done here."

She also goes on to attack the reported relationship in PEOPLE, "since april of 09? Mmm / one of my little sweet peas told me otherwise much / earlier than that, Pooper magazine / they should have shut the bedroom door."

Etheridge's response to her ex's poem?

"I do not comment on haikus."

Ouch.

Oh, Cameron, you say the most shocking things.

Now she's telling the story of her days as a bad-assed girl living in "the LBC"--Long Beach California.

And she talks of her high school daze, where she distinctly remembers one student, Snoop Dogg: "He was very tall and skinny, wore lots of ponytails on his head. And I'm pretty sure I bought weed from him -- I had to have."

Cameron Diaz? Buying weed?

In high school?

Yeah, I think what she actually means is that she bought weed from Snoop just the other day, behind a Starbucks on La Cienega.

Well, well, Mel.

Looks like prosecutors are ready to file criminal charges against Mel Gibson.

Anti-Semite, homophobe, misogynist, religious wingnut.

Gibson's lawyer, Blair Berk, ALLEGEDLY met with LA Deputy District Attorney John Lynch for nearly two hours, reportedly attempting to convince authorities not to prosecute Gibson. i imagine there was some begging, the offer of free tickets to Gibson movies for life, and the presentation of a boxed set of Mel Gibson's best work; and by best work, I mean his vicious telephone rants and the tapes of him talking to sugar tits the first time he was arrested.
Quite the package.

Still, the pleadings seemed to have fallen on deaf ears, and sources--and by sources I mean everyone Gibson has ever said anything racist or bigoted about--say Melvin will almost definitely be charged. The charges stem from Gibson hitting ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, mother of his 14-month-old daughter, Lucia, and he will be charged with either a misdemeanor or a felony.

Oh, let's do the world a service and make it a felony? Gibson could face up to four years in prison; a misdemeanor could land him up to a year.I like the idea of four Mel-free years.

Melvin, however, will not go quietly. His team has subpoenaed Grigorieva's ex-bodyguard, Kristian Herzog, who was present at nearly all of Grigorieva's meetings with her lawyers, only he isn't bound by attorney-client privilege.

Still, the District Attorney has a very strong case, there is a lot of information that the public and Mel Gibson are unaware that the DA has, such as Gibson's own court testimony about the alleged abuse: "I slapped Oksana one time with an open hand in an attempt to bring her back to reality. I did not slap her hard, I was just trying to shock her so that she would stop screaming, continuing shaking Lucia back and forth."

Gibson maintains he never hit Grigorieva with a closed fist. "I did not ever punch her in the face or in the temple or anywhere else, not then or at any other time."

He just slapped her while she was holding a baby.

Felony!