Bobservations

Carlos doesn’t like kids; he says they’re loud and dirty and obnoxious and the only thing he likes about them is when I am asked if I like children and I say:

“Yes. Deep-fried with a side of Ranch dressing.”

But I digress. Carlos was set to translate at the courthouse here in Camden and I dropped him off on my way to work. He knows the building very well and finds his way around with ease. The courts were slightly back up so he sat on a bench in the hallway waiting for the lawyer and client to be called for their hearing.

As he sat there, two screaming girls were running amok in the hallway and finally their mother put the kibosh on the shenanigans. So, they walked to the bench where Carlos sat and began talking to him:

“What is that?”

“My cane.”

“What’s it for?”

“It helps me get around because I can’t see.”

“You can’t see?”

“Nope.”

And that started a long game of how many fingers am I holding up, until one girl asked him how he got to the courthouse:

“Did you drive?”

“No, someone dropped me off.”

“How did you get up here.”

And he talked about counting steps and listening to the sounds in the hallways to find the elevators and the stairs and the courtroom doors, and those little girls sat with him and questioned him and studied him and chatted with him learned a little something from him about being differently abled.

I said:

“See you do like kids.”

“No I don’t.”

“You do because I would have asked to have them fried and served with Ranch.”

And I wasn’t wrong. But he is far sweeter and more patient with kids than he likes to let on.

He’s really a sweetheart.

This Tuxedo Says is from July 2020:

"Tuxedo has been trying to explain the asshattery of All Lives Matter on Facebook for weeks now … this time he chose a direct route."

And we can continue to do that every day since then, y’all.

Right before other state lawmakers were set to be sworn in, Texas Democrat Representative Venton Jones asked his boyfriend, Gregory Scott Jr., to marry him:

“In a time when our love and our very existence are challenged, often in the halls of this very building, this moment is a reminder that love conquers all. Gregory and I stand as proof that progress is unstoppable, and no amount of hate can erase the truth of who we are.”

In Texas, y’all; in the statehouse!

Of note, the Democrats gave us our first African American President and our first African American Vice President.

Republicans gave us our first Convicted Felon President.

See, there is a difference.

Last week on Jeopardy, journalist and hottie Drew Goins showed up to the competition in a sweater that gave us well-rounded pecs and nipples to gawk at.

PS He won.

South Carolina’s Nancy Mace descended even further into madness this week after Democrat Representative Jasmine Crockett called her a child:

“I am no child! Do not call me a child. I am no child. Don’t even start, I am a grown woman, 47 years old.”

And then Nancy Mace, a grown woman, not a child, asked Crockett if she wanted to “take it outside.”

Doesn’t get more childish, Nancy.

As The Felon prepares to return to the White House, Amazon has cut commitments protecting Black and LGBTQ+ people. Statements that said Amazon supported the rights of transgender people and LGBTQ+ and Black employees disappeared from a company webpage in December.

So, if you’re trans, Black or Gay, Amazon has clearly stated they don’t give a fuck about you and if you still want to shop there because it’s easy peasy, then maybe you don’t give a fuck about equality either.

When I heard that Carrie Underwood was going to perform at The Felon’s inauguration, my first thought was to boycott her music and then I realized I have been boycotting her music since she first started singing.

PS The flag is not meant to be worn as a tank top, hon; that’s not patriotism.

During a confirmation hearing for defense secretary nominee, alcoholic, homophobe, sexual predator and misogynist Pete Hegseth, GOP Senator Eric Schmitt complained about Wokeness in the military. while sitting in front of a sign that misspelled the word “military.”

You cannot make this shiz up.

Matthew Djordjevic is a model from Australia and is repped by Ford Models, Kult Models, and FiveTwenty Model Management but all I need know is, Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

A new Mexican restaurant opened in town and Carlos I decided to give it a go even though there are already three Mexican restaurants nearby that we love. But … the Reposado Margarita, made with a splash of Tamarind Juice was spectacular—so good that I will be stocking the juice at Casa Bob y Carlos permanently—and the food was also delicioso. Better still, our server Marcus was a hot nugget with an ass you could bounce a quarter off of … though I didn’t try.

Best part of the evening? Dessert; Carlos has a major sweet tooth—I told Marcus he was a dessert head—and usually orders dessert and I take a bite and then I’m done. But a mistake was made in the kitchen and we ended up with two different desserts and I took a bite of each and watched as Carlos polished them both off. Marcus came back to the table, where both desserts were finished off, the dirty plates sitting in front of Carlos, and said:

“Wow. You really are a dessert head.”

And that’s Carlos’ reputation in Camden continues to spread. And he’s good with that.

This week’s Tuxedo Memory comes from February 2012

“Tennessee Tuesday: Tuxedo Is Not At All Pleased With You

He loves 'Modern Family'. He has two daddies, too.”

For the record, back in 2012, Modern Family was dragged into Tennessee’s ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill when GOP asshat state Senator Stacey Campbell declared the TV comedy a bad influence for kids because it featured two gay dads.

And that sent Tuxedo into politics.

Goddess I adore Pink, and now I have another reason for doing so.

She has teamed with free-speech advocates PEN America and Books & Books, a bookseller founded in 1982 , to distribute 2,000 copies of four books that have been banned by various public schools.

Read the banned books.

Roof EZ, a Florida roofing company, owned by Jason Pollym has started the 'Roof and Gobble' promotion, giving away a turkey and an AR-15 to anyone who buys a roof. Gun nut Jason Polly says:

“Everybody should have an AR-15. Everybody should have the means to protect their homes and their family. It’s not really catered to anybody, any state, any political view, anything like that. It’s all about safety.”

Sure, asshat. It’s strictly catered to Gun Nuts, Republicans and MAGAts.

After Lauren Boebert helped get Marjorie Taylor Greene kicked out of the House Freedom Caucus, Greene started channeling her inner mean girl to pay back her frenemy by calling her a whore after Bobo’s crotch-groping night at the theater.

Yes, the woman whose husband divorced her after she had an affair with a gym owner, and maybe the gym owner’s friend and may even another guy, is tossing around the word “whore.”

Look in the mirror, Marge, if you dare.

Thirty-five years after Tracy Chapman’s iconic track 'Fast Car' was released, the singer-songwriter became the first Black artist to win Song of the Year at the Country Music Awards; Luke Combs also won the CMA for Single of the Year for his cover of the song. While Chapman wasn’t present at the CMAs, presenter Sara Evans read a prepared statement from the musician:

“There is this genuineness and pure authenticity in folk music. I’m sorry I couldn’t join you all tonight. It’s truly an honor for my song to be newly recognized after 35 years after its debut. Thank you to the CMAs and a special thanks to Luke and all of the fans of ‘Fast Car.’”

Congrats to Tracy on this honor.

PS I like her version better.

Last week the Final Jeopardy category one night was “The Catholic Church” and as I like to do I began shouting the answers before even hearing the question:

"Who are Nazi sympathizers? Who cares more about money than the poor and the unfed? Who are pedophile priests? Who denied eyewitness reports of mass executions during the Holocaust? Who did the church burn at the cross for dressing like a man? Who absolved sins for cash payments, including sins that hadn’t yet been committed?"

The answer was: 

"The 1456 posthumous annulments of this woman’s sentence by the church was witnessed by her mother Isabelle?"

And the answer was: 

"Joan of Arc."

I was close.

This is Spanish model Sergi Salamanca who looks good in jeans and briefs and jocks and suds and especially without pants, but … Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Y’all know by now that Carlos and I love us some Jeopardy, and I am constantly stunned by the severe lack of knowledge some people have; it scares me for the future of the world that last week two out of three contestants could not answer a simple question about ::: gulp::: The Golden Girls in a category called Everything’s Coming Up Rose:

“In 1986 she won an Emmy for playing Rose Nylund on The Golden Girls.”

Naturally, Carlos and I shrieked:

“BETTY WHITE!!!”

The first guy answered:

“Who’s McClanahan?”

And then Carlos and I screamed:

“BETTY WHITE!!!!”

The second guy, a self-professed homosexual who was subsequently asked to turn in his Gay Card, said:

“Who is Bea Arthur?”

And we screamed and threw our shoes at the TV:

“IT'S BETTY FUCKING WHIIIIIIIIIITE!!!!!!!”

The third contestant did not offer an answer but gets no props for not knowing that it was FUCKING BETTTY WHITE!!!!

It took me several hours to calm down.

Carlos is still annoyed.

This is a post from August 2009 and is Tuxedo through and through:

“Sunday Morning Tuxedo.”

Again, I was constantly amazed at how he would decide to sprawl out on a rug or chair or windowsill. He was all about comfort.

On the PBS show, Finding Your Roots, Henry Gates traced the ancestry of famous people. Every week is an interesting show, but one time he featured actor Tamera Mowry. Mowry is biracial—her mother is Black, her father is white—and learned that on her mother’s side, her family were slaves in the Bahamas and then in America.

But on her father’s side she was told her ancestors originally lived in England and were victims of religious persecution until they fled to the US aboard a little ship called the Mayflower. Mowry let all that sink in and then held her left hand UP, saying:

“This side of my family started this whole thing, and then … [she held up her right hand] … they enslaved this side of my family.”

What an amazing perspective on her ancestry.

It's a fascinating show if you aren’t watching.

It’s official, Thing 45 has been found guilty of the sexual abuse and defamation of E Jean Carroll and ordered to pay her $5 million.

I wonder how the MAGAts will feel paying this bill for him.

Ah, Murphy's Law ... Last Sunday was a housekeeping and yard cleaning kind of day; lawns mowed, hedges trimmed, laundry done and the oven cleaned. I tackled the lawn first and it went bad quickly. The week prior Carlos had been pulling these invasive vines out of some trees in the side yard. He would then take the vine and roll it up like an electrical cord and tie it up in a bundle and toss it on the ground with some leaves. I didn't know he'd left them there, under the leaves, and so I ran the mower over the leaves to mulch them, but one of the coiled vines wrapped itself around the mower blade and jerked the whole machine to a standstill. 

We tried to get the vines off to no avail, and then called a lawn mower service to fix the problem and do the routine maintenance on the mower. To the tune of some $400. Ah, well, we learned a lesson to not tie up vines into little bundles and to not run the riding mower over a pile of leaves because we don’t know what’s under it.

Next, I'm back in the house setting the oven to clean; a three-hour process which means the oven and stove are unusable until about 3PM. I wanted to grill salmon and do it up with all kinds of veggies and serve it over rice, so I set about prepping the dinner. I sliced onion, poblano pepper, mushrooms, fresh ginger, garlic, carrots, celery, broccoli, scallions and fresh cilantro. 

After the oven was cleaned, and wiped out, I decided to start dinner and took the prepped veggies out and set them on the counter. I then thought, to keep it light and fresh, I’d drizzled a little Rice Wine vinegar over the veggies when they were sautéing so I grabbed the bottle of vinegar off the top shelf. It slid out of my hand and landed on the plate of prepared veggies, shattering the plate and sending veggies sailing all over the kitchen.

Oy, the curse words that rained through the house as I cleaned up the mess and then meticulously set about slicing more veggies for my dinner.

At least it tasted good; I think. I was still kinda seeing red at my clumsiness.

First Thing 45 and now this … federal prosecutors have filed criminal charges against New York Representative George Harrison Takei Lucas Michael Orwell Kitara Ravache Pinocchio Santos whose blatant lies about every single facet of his life stunned everyone … except Republicans who honor liars.

He has been indicted on 13 counts, including seven counts of wire fraud, three counts of money laundering, one count of theft of public funds, and two counts of making materially false statements to the House of Representatives.

And he swears … foot stomp, head snap, hands on hips … he’s innocent.

Federal prosecutors investigating Thing 45’s handling mishandling of classified documents have obtained the confidential cooperation of a person who has worked for him at Mar-a-Lago, part of an intensifying effort to determine whether Thing 45 ordered boxes containing sensitive material moved out of a storage room there as the government sought to recover it last year. The name of the confidential informant is not being released but I have an idea …

Italian actor Stefano Gianino is famous for his role as Niccoló in The White Lotus. Where he showed off all his goods. But this isn’t about that, it’s … Would You Hit It?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I imagine a celebrity loves to see the impact they’ve made in their chosen field, movie, TV, music, whatever, but some sure hate to see other’s names linked alongside theirs.

Amirite Nicki Minaj? You see, Minaj decided to partake in a little self-promotion by Tweeting an article that praised her impact on rap music, but Nicki just had to show her thirst by reTweeting a screenshot of the article but scratched out the names Megan Thee Stallion, City Girls, Cardi B, and Doja Cat who were briefly mentioned in the article.

Gurl, the thirst is pathetic.

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Poor Shawn Mendes is still trying to heal from his November 2021 “split” from singer Camila Cabello by whining that, at twenty-three, he is all alone:

‘“I think that’s the reality that kind of hit me. It’s like, ‘Oh, I’m on my own now. Now I feel like finally, like, I’m actually on my own, and I hate that. That’s my reality, you know?”

And the boy does go on, adding that he didn’t realize “all this s–t that comes after” a breakup:

“Which is like, ‘Who do I call when I’m, like, in a panic attack? Who do I call when I’m like, f–king, on the edge?’”

Mendes and Cabello were together a little over two years.

Man up, little boy.

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Rachel Zegler is the star of West Side Story, one of the ten movies nominated for a Best Picture Oscar at tomorrow’s show, and also won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress for her role in the reboot, but the only way she’s going to the show is as someone’s plus-one or perhaps as a seat filler. You see, the Academy failed to invite Zegler to the show, a terrible miscarriage of justice she revealed on social media.’

Now, it’s not mandatory for performers from Best Picture-nominated movies to automatically be invited to the ceremony, but Zegler sure did want to go, and the movie, though not a huge hit, was well-received, as was her performance.

And, since it appears we have a theme of thirsty celebrities this week, what do you think Rachel Zegler did? She started on Instagram where she posted a series of pictures, including several of her at the BAFTAs last week, which caused several fans to ask what she’d be wearing to the Oscars. Rachel told them she wasn’t invited, and so she’ll be watching from her living room instead, but then, to play nice, said there were no hard feelings between her and the Academy.

UPDATE: Zegler’s thirsty woe-is-me Tweets and Insta stories paid off, because as soon as the news went viral, an invitation was sent Zegler’s way.

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Everyone knows, as Diana Ross famously sings, “You can’t hurry love,” but some Jeopardy contestants think you can hurry up Miss Ross’ age … and when you do, Twitter comes for you.

Karen John and Finn Corrigan, two competitors on Jeopardy last week, learned that the hard way, when they answer this question during Final Jeopardy …

“In 2021 at age 95, this singer achieved a Guinness World Record for the oldest person to release an album of new material.”

… and replied, “Who is Diana Ross?” Unfortunately, they soon found out that the correct answer is Tony Bennett because Diana Ross is certainly not ninety-five!.

An embarrassed Karen Johnson later sent her “deepest apologies” to the legendary R&B singer on Twitter for the gaffe:

“I didn’t really think you were the answer, but was running out of time and had to put something!”

And Corrigan echoed that defense:

“Me too! I knew she was not nearly that old but better to write something than nothing. Just glad we’re in this together.”

Now, Ross did release an album of new music last year, called “Thank You” and also earned a Guinness World Records title in 1993 with the lofty title “Most Successful Female Singer of All Time.”

Not bad for a woman who turns 78 today!

Happy Birthday Miss Ross.

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Bobservations

I have always called Carlos the Absentminded Professor because his memory is like a sieve. But the other morning, while watching the news, that Subaru ad came on with the dogs driving the car, and he asked why they don’t use cats, and I replied:

“Cats don’t drive. Cats are driven.”

We chuckled, and then I told him the story of my friend Laura who, when I recommended years ago that she see the movie The Red Violin she asked if it had subtitles, and then said:

“I don’t read.”

We chuckled some more, and then Carlos starts talking about The Red Violin and literally spells out the entire plot, and every minute detail of the story. This from a man who cannot remember where he left his phone, every single time he sets it, but The Red Violin which he hasn’t seen in over twenty years? 

He’s got it.

Tuxedo asks all the right questions but the noise on the right, who are clearly trying to distract from their Big Lie and Voter Suppression Agenda, are too loud.

Well, Jeopardy! is back to guest hosts after the resignation of Mike Richards who said some pretty awful things about women in a podcast several years ago, and subsequently resigned. Now actor Mayim Bialik will return as the first in another round of guest hosts until a permanent host is picked … by Mike Richards.

Take note: whatever you post on social media can and will be used against you one day, so, you know, watch your mouth.

It speaks volumes about the ignorance of some people when the Food and Drug Administration [FDA] has to use Twitter to remind people—who don’t want to take the vaccine—to not to take the “horse paste” drug Ivermectin to fight COVID-19:

“You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it.”

Ivermectin is the new bleach … which was the new shine a light up your ass …which was the new hydroxychloroquine.

The other day at work two co-workers were discussing their political ideology and one, who makes no bones about being a Republican,  said something about having no problem with gay people because he … wait for it … has a friend who is gay and so he clearly has no problem. Now, try as I might to keep quiet, big surprise, I could not. So, I channeled my inner Julia Sugarbaker—for the young ones in the crowd, Google her—and I said to Mr. Gay-friendly.

“So, you’re cool with The Gays because you have a gay friend? I find that odd because never once in the entire time you have worked here have you acknowledged my husband or even said his name. And, whenever I have mentioned him, and I talk about him a lot because we have a twenty-one-year life together, even in the early days of your employment, did you ask who Carlos was, what he did, how we met, while the first time you mentioned your girlfriend I asked about her. Perhaps you ought to rethink what being ‘cool with The Gays’ really means. It means speaking to us, acknowledging us, and treating us equally. Acting like we exist outside of being your friend. But thanks for telling us all that you have ‘no problem’ with me. I’ll sleep better tonight”

Sometimes I just can’t.

Spencer Elden, the grown-ass man whose unusual baby portrait was used the cover of Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” filed a lawsuit alleging that the nude image constituted child pornography.

That’s the cover there on the left, and that’s grown-ass Spencer on the right, recreating the cover shoot on the 10th, 17th, 20th and 25th anniversary of the album’s release. And don’t you just love his “Nevermind” chest tattoo?

Elden wants $150,000 from surviving band members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic; Courtney Love, the executor of Kurt Cobain’s estate; Guy Oseary and Heather Parry, managers of Cobain’s estate; photographer Kirk Weddle; art director Robert Fisher; and a number of existing or defunct record companies that released or distributed the album in the last three decades.

Elden seems to have forgotten that his parents signed a release for the photo, and were paid for the photo, so if he wants to sue for coins, start with mom and dad.

Down here in South Carolina, where It’s Not The Heat, It’s The Stupidity, some parents in Greenville County attended a school board meeting to discuss COVID. Some want masks; some don’t. Even though right now 910 students are quarantining, 245 are isolating, and 407 are waiting for test results.

But the icing on the cake was a woman who stood up before the board and claimed that she had … dear goddess you cannot make this shiz up … uncovered a plot by the CDC to shut down schools and turn them into Nazi-style concentration camps, where children will be taken away from their parents, and couples separated from each other.

Again, the biggest virus in this country is Ignorance and the only vaccine is education and active brain cells.

Erik Prince, the American defense contractor who, let’s be queer, makes his coins off of war, is offering people seats on a chartered plane out of Kabul.

For $6,500 per person. He can literally fuck himself into oblivion.

Following his wingnut tour of the Midwest with fellow Congressional lunatic, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz got married  on Catalina Island off the coast of California. And for a guy who craves the spotlight, the event was decidedly understated. The bride's brother, Palmer, and his partner, Nicole, and Nestor Galban, Gaetz’s adopted “son,” represented the family.

Note to Gaetz: a wife cannot testify against their husband about anything that happens after the marriage, but she can be compelled to testify about your sex trafficking life before saying ‘I do.’

Shomari Francis. I know almost nothing about him, other than he likes wearing barely there briefs and is smolderingly hot. And I’m not mad at that.