I Didn't Say It ...

Mark Foster, holder of six world titles, 11 European championship gold medals, two Commonwealth gold medals, and a five time Olympic swimmer, has come out as gay:

“I was a little apprehensive but years ago I would have been fearful of how I would be judged. Maybe that’s me being older and having a long time to get used to the idea. I went to the Attitude awards last month and gave Greg Louganis an award. I spent time with him and his partner and was backstage with Prince Harry and Kylie Minogue. I have a weird and wonderful life meeting all these people. They know about me–well, Prince Harry doesn’t–and I felt such warmth and togetherness. I thought: ‘I’ve been tiptoeing in the shadows but now’s the time to come out.’ I wish I’d done it was when I was 21 and met my first partner. But I wasn’t ready. Sharing stuff was always the problem. I’ve got used to avoiding the truth and I never spent much time looking in the mirror. It’s a fear of being vulnerable because if you open yourself up you could be hurt.”

But when you think about it, coming out ends the hurt. The pain is caused by the hiding and the self-inflicted shame.

Welcome out, Mark, and please accept as our gift a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Offical Coming Out Toaster Oven.

PS He’s a hot silver fox.

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George Brandis, Australian Attorney General, speaking before the marriage equality bill passed its second reading without objection:

“I want to reflect for a moment on the message this will send, in particular, to young gay people. To the boy or girl who senses a difference from their friends, which they find difficult to understand and impossible to deal with. How many hundreds of thousands of young Australians have known that fear? How many have lived with it, silently and alone? How many have failed to come to terms with it, and been overborne by it? By passing this bill, we are saying to these vulnerable young people ‘there is nothing wrong with you’. You are not unusual, you are not abnormal, you are just you. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, there is nothing to be ashamed of, there is nothing to hide: you are a normal person, and like every other normal person, you have a need to love. How you love is how God made you. Whom you love is for you to decide, and others to respect. Australia may have been slow to reach this day. But when that day did come, it came triumphantly, it came joyously, and most importantly it came from the Australian people themselves.”

I still cannot believe Australia doesn’t yet have marriage equality. I thought they’d beaten the US to the punch.

Still, good on Brandis for his statement and his common sense and understanding that gay people are no different, other than in who we love, that straight people.

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Rick Wilson, media consultant and … wait for it … Republican political strategist, calling White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders a "serial congenital liar":

“The reason she does that is because her job is contingent upon her being a serial congenital liar in defense of Donald Trump’s latest outrages. I mean, she probably has some tiny, shriveled husk left in her soul where she realizes this is the wrong thing to do. But she does it anyway because otherwise they’ll replace her. Few presidents go out and sling overt racial code words like that, few presidents go out and crap on the dignity and legacy of people like these code talkers, these heroic veterans, and then send their press secretary out to answer questions in a way that isn’t saying, ‘Wow, the president regrets what he said today, he made a mistake, he truly wishes he had not said that.’ Instead she goes out, tries to bury people in an avalanche of horse shit every day, because this is her job.”

Word. It’s an administration filled with liars, from the top down …

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Daniel Day-Lewis, brilliant actor, on why he’s quitting acting:

“I knew it was uncharacteristic to put out a statement But I did want to draw a line. I didn’t want to get sucked back into another project. All my life, I’ve mouthed off about how I should stop acting, and I don’t know why it was different this time, but the impulse to quit took root in me, and that became a compulsion. It was something I had to do. I need to believe in the value of what I’m doing. The work can seem vital. Irresistible, even. And if an audience believes it, that should be good enough for me. But, lately, it isn’t. I’ve been interested in acting since I was 12 years old, and back then, everything other than the theater—that box of light—was cast in shadow. When I began, it was a question of salvation. Now, I want to explore the world in a different way.”

I have always loved DDL, for his acting, his accent, his beautiful eyes, that shy smile, and now this?

Yeah, for the second time this week, I’m’a need to take some time.

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Ridley Scott, film director, on replacing Kevin Spacey with Christopher Plummer in his film All the Money in the World:

“I sat and thought about it and realized, we cannot. You can’t tolerate any kind of behavior like that. And it will affect the film. We cannot let one person’s action affect the good work of all these other people. It’s that simple.”

And I said it before, I would lovelovelove to see Plummer win an Oscar for the role that Kevin’s actions had erased from the film.

Karma… bitch.

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Ann Curry, Matt Lauer's former Today co-anchor who may have been fired at Lauer’s suggestion, on Matt’s own firing for being a perv:

"The women's movement got us into the workplace, but it didn't make us safe once we got there. And the battle lines are now clear. We need to move this revolution forward and make our workplaces safe. Corporate America is quite clearly failing to do so, and unless it does something to change that, we need to keep doing more ourselves. I admire the women who have been willing to speak up both anonymously and on the record. Those women need to keep their jobs, and all women need to be able to work, to be able to thrive, without fear. This kind of behavior exists across industries, and it is so long overdue for it to stop. This is a moment when we all need to be a beacon of light for those women, for all women, and for ourselves."

As usual, Curry takes the high road, though I bet there was plenty of pleasure at Matt’s downfall.

Again,  karma … bitch.

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It's Snarkurday!

What a world it might have been had John Stamos gotten his way, at least according to the new Lifetime movie, The Unauthorized Full House Story.

 See, it appears that Stamos tried to get the Olsen twins replaced because they wouldn’t stop crying, and Stamos is saying it really happened:

“It’s sort of true that the Olsen twins cried a lot. It was very difficult to get the shot. So I [gesturing], ‘Get them out…!’ That is actually 100 percent accurate. They brought in a couple of unattractive redheaded kids. We tried that for a while and that didn’t work. And that’s the story.”

Just think, though, had the Olsen’s been replaced, we have a couple less ultra rich Goth Hobbits in the world today.

So, Little Kylie Jenner turned 18 last week and celebrated in Canada because she can legally drink there, which leads me to sing ♫♪ Oh Canada … what have you wrought ♪♫.

But this is about her gift from her is-he-or-isn’t-he her boyfriend, Tyga, or is he just the guy banging the once underage “model.”

See, Tyga is known for regifting stuff to Kylie, and actually gave Kylie one of his ex-girlfriend’s, and baby mama, Blac Chyna’s old watches. And then Kylie and Blac started an Instagram war over who was wearing the watch “currently.”

But now it’s bigger than a watch because Tyga gave Kylie one of Blac’s old cars, after he re-painted it from white to red!

Of course, Tyga’s camp is saying Kylie is only “borrowing” the car … just like she’s borrowing Tyga from Blac Chyna.

So Ben Affleck’s nanny jump-off, Christine Ouzounian, is riding high with all the press about how she was banging a married movie star while babysitting his kids.

And to show what a class act she is, she posted pictures of herself on a private jet to Vegas with Ben and his buddy Tom Brady, while wearing Brady’s four Super Bowl rings.

And this trip to Vegas with Ben came right after Ben and Jen’s trip to the Bahamas where Jen found out about NannyGate and fired her, so it seems quite clear that Ben is schtupping the help, and then taking her on vacation.

But Ben assured her it was okay because he was technically her boss even though, while she is a nanny, there were no Affleck children on the trip, and Ben hid her at the hotel the entire time.

Banging.The.Help.

Paying.The.Alimony.

Looking.Like.A.Douche.

Meanwhile, back at the Goth Hobbits …

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are facing a class-action lawsuit says their company, Dualstar, treats its interns terribly by making them work long hours and then deciding not to pay them for the work.

The class-action suit, which alleges wage theft, says the Olsen’s failed to pay about 40 past and present interns. The lead plaintiff, former design intern Shahista Lalani, says she was treated poorly, toiling for free doing menial tasks at Dualstar Entertainment Group, and ended up hospitalized for dehydration.

Look, I feel bad, but these people knew they’d be working for Hobbits and, well, Hobbits aren’t known for fair employment practices when they spend too much together looking like conjoined twins in Morticia Addams’ knock-offs.

We all know Kristen Stewart, who once banged that sparkly vampire while she was also banging a married film director, has gone full-on Lesbian, right?

I mean, she clearly has a new girlfriend, Alicia Cargile, but hasn’t done the “Yep, I’m Gay” Time magazine cover. And don’t expect her to, either, because, while promoting her next sure-to-bomb film, Stewart made it clear that she wasn’t coming out any time soon.

In fact, she says, if you want to know if she’s Team Lesbian you can just Google her.

“Google me, I’m not hiding.”

Um, Google me? Isn’t that what Cargile is for?

Just sayin’.

And now back to Ben Affleck’s nanny, who has turned f**king a married guy into quite the lucrative career. Trips the Bahamas, to Vegas, hanging out with Tom Brady, and yet she doesn’t have to watch a single child.

And now Christine Ouzounian is tooling around town in a brand new $50,000 Lexus IS convertible and Instagramming this:

“Keep Calm and meet new drop top Lexi.”

I thought she was Drop Top Christine?

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon officially ended their marriage last winter, but it ain’t quite over yet because Nick is dragging his heels in the divorce proceedings, hoping to get more coins.

And y’all know Mimi ain’t playing, so she recently had dinner with her divorce lawyers to come up with a plan to put the screws to Nick Cannon so she can marry her newest next-ex-husband James Packer. But Mimi forgot one thing … well, she forgot those two little words: no pre-nup.

See, without a pre-nup, Nick can hold out for more cash and more cash because, I guess, he only married her for the money, so he’ll only divorce her for some more.

Oh Nicky, get another job!

Ann Curry may have the last laugh following her departure from NBC in January.

She’s writing a book, y’all.

If you remember, Curry tearfully said goodbye after being fired from the Today Show in 2012 because, ALLEGEDLY, prima donna Matt Lauer wanted his side-piece by his side in the morning, though she stayed working at NBC until earlier this year.

Curry has ALLEGEDLY been “unhappy for a long time because she basically does nothing, though she was earning $12 million a year after the firing.

NBC says Curry is moving on to develop her own media startup backed by NBCUniversal, which would allow her to produce content for a number of platforms, including for them so will she or won’t she talk about Lauer and the firing?

Well, she has a nondisclosure agreement with NBC that prevents her from spilling the details but it cannot stop her from talking about her feelings about events that have already been in the news.

I see a Nasty Book Club at NBC.

I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

Wow.

I never saw this coming, though, well, I’m not really surprised; he’s a three-time loser in the marriage game now. Three strikes and you’re out, or maybe three strikes and you can come out?

I thought the Republican National Convention—with the Ron Paulettes and the Not-Romney’s going up against the GOP machine—was going to be the biggest, hottest mess of the year. Not so. That title goes to the Cruise-Cruise divorce.

Yup. Apparently Katie has snapped out of her Scientology-stupor and has filed for divorce from Tommy Grrrrl. And it is not going to be a pleasant split.

See, according to a statement from Tommy’s handlers, he was “blindsided” by the announcement….in much the same way that Nicole Kidman was blindsided when Tommy filed for divorce from her.

Payback is a bitch, and it’s ALLEGEDLY Katie Holmes. Who ALLEGEDLY didn't sign the standard Promise To Stay Married To Tommy Grrrl For Ten Years like Wife ! and Wife 2.

Katie, I guess she won’t be answering to Kate anymore, filed for divorce yesterday, citing that old Hollywood standby, “irreconcilable differences.” But the ugly comes in because she has also asked for sole legal custody and “primary residential custody” of little Suri.

In other words: Tommy will be a weekend Dad, at best. See, Katie saw what happened when Tommy dropped Nicole, with their children, and she is not about to let him do the same to their daughter.

This.Could.Get.Ugly.

And fun, you know, for me!

Matt Lauer is a douche.

Yeah...he's really gonna miss her

Ever since the Today Show ratings took a hit earlier this year—after being on top for about a hundred years—reports have surfaced that Lauer wanted new co-host Ann Curry gone.
You know, because it’s all her fault.
And now comes the sweepstakes over who takes Curry’s spot. One story I heard is that Hoda Kotb, who co-hosts The Today Show’s 5^th or 6^th hour—alongside Kathie Lee Drunkard—would be stepping in; and that would make room for a new co-host for Kathie Lee, in one Regis Philbin.
Well, that’s interesting. Of course, other names crept in, too, like Savannah Guthrie, or maybe me! But one name that isn’t being tossed into the hat is that of Matt Lauer’s ALLEGED former mistress, Natalie Morales.
Yup. The same Natalie who may have schtupped her some Lauer. And the same Natalie who ALLEGEDLY has a young child who looks a little Lauer-esque.
Yeah, that Natalie Morales. But it seems that, as much as Lauer likes Natalie, he wasn’t keen on having her sit by his side…at least on TV.
And maybe that bit of news will see Natalie Morales leave The Today Show and NBC as well.
A source—and I’m betting on Ann Curry—says: “If Natalie’s passed over for the job, she’s going to leave next.”
See, Natty has been with Today since 2006 and was thought to be Meredith Vieira’s replacement when she left last year, but Curry snagged the job. And Natty has never been happy about that, you know.
The source—bye Ann—says: “This will be the second time [Natalie] has been passed over for the top job. And she’s not happy.”
Hmmm, since Matty just scored a new contract worth some $25 million a year, maybe Natty could go the paternity suit route and sue him for some coins?
Just a thought.

Matty & Natty

Now, while we’re still on The Today Show kerfuffle, let’s talk about who might be truly responsible for keeping Natalie Morales away from Matt Lauer and his lap.
Rumor has it that it’s none other than Matty’s second wife, Annette Roque, who has already tried to leave Lauer once before, going so far as to file for divorce before ultimately deciding that Matty was her Goose that Laid the Golden Contract.

And, maybe, well, Annette got wind that NBC was dumping Curry and that Natalie Morales might be getting that job and she hightailed her Louboutins over to Lauer’s office and laid down the law: No.Mistress.Cohost.EVER!

Matty & The Missus

It seems that if Natalie is even being considered for the job, Annette is threatening to divorce Matty.
It’s gonna get ugly.
If Natty doesn’t get the gig, she’s out.
If Natalie gets the gig, Mrs. Lauer is out.
And if Annette leaves, well a huge chunk of Matty’s millions goes with her, and you know he won’t let that happen; hair plugs are expensive.
So, my guess is that Natalie and Ann might be cleaning pout their desks at the same time, and Annette Roque will be getting a lot of new shoes.

The tabloids are throwing a lot of different stuff at Johnny Depp about why he left his not-wife after fourteen years and a couple of kids.
But it doesn’t seem to be affair-fueled gossip; no, it just seems that Johnny was, well, bored.
A source—and it may be one of the two women rumored to be dating Johnny now….bisexual Amber Heard o dumped her girlfriend for Depp, or his publicist Robin Baum—who claim, “Johnny was bored senseless and he wanted out of the relationship for a really long time.” 
But rumors are that Johnny, who was seen last year exciting the home of one of those Olsen troll dolls wearing the same clothes he was wearing the night before—Walk of Shame—is seeing multiple women now.

Amber. 
Robin. 
A Troll. 
The girl behind the counter at Starbucks. 
My next door neighbor...I mean a creepy looking guy has been sniffing around over there for a few weeks now.
Well, I guess if you’ve got two or three or seven girlfriends that whole notion of being bored is just flies out the window.
Just saying.

Oh Madonna. A nipple to stay in the news, followed by a moon shot for publicity. Then the leaking of your tour rider to show how crazy you really are, and to keep your face, or ass, on the front page. Whatever will you do next? I mean, other than losing the British accent and recording some decent music?
Well, it seems that Madge has revealed that she has a team of cleaners come in after she leaves her hotel room, her backstage areas, her bathroom, her limo, her toilet, her bidet, so that her DNA can be completely scrubbed from every surface.
Yup. MDNA don’t leave no DNA. In true diva style AKA a desperate need for publicity, Madge has set up a “sterilization team” to wipe away any DNA—hair, skin, saliva--that may have been dropped in her rooms after she leaves.
In fact, obsessive compulsive Madge orders that only she and her entourage are allowed ­backstage passes. In fact, concert promoter Álvaro Ramos, overseeing the ­Portuguese leg of the spectacle, says: “We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist. We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door. We can only enter after her sterilization team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable. I do understand it, but it is taken to extremes.”
Protect her? I wonder if it isn’t being done to protect those who use the spaces after Madge.
God only knows where she’s been.

So, Johnny “Bathing Suit Area” Travolta has been keeping a low profile since the dozens and dozens of men have come forward to say that he sexually harassed, groped, or propositioned them at spas all over the world.
But even Travolta has to come out of hiding at some point, eh? And what will he do when he does that? How will he act? What might he say and do?
Well, Johnny and his Scientology-bot wife, Kelly Preston, who knows which side of the bank account to be on, were at the Savages premiere in LA last week and they were giving all sorts of PDA.
You know, cuz people think Travolta’s a big old nympho-mo so he and the missus have to “act” like a loving couple.
Let’s just dissect the shots:

Her lips say "Happy" while her eyes say "Ick."

Smile baby.
And act like you lime it and aren't thinking
about that bottle of Purell in your purse.

Careful Kelly! Your hand is dangerously close
to Johnny's Bathing Suit Area,
AKA The Forbidden Zone

Notice how Kelly is looking at the camera
to make sure they get this "candid" shot?

Of course, the story is that they arrived separately, worked the carpet and their tongues, together, and then left separately.
Yeah, I ain’t fooled.

What does a freak do when he gets fired from one TV show for being an alcoholic, drug-taking, prostitution-buying, knife-wielding, spousal batterer and then gets a new show and needs some press?
Well, if you’re Charlie Sheen, you head back to New York—which was the beginning of his very public meltdown last year—to do a round of press for your new show, the high-lariously entitled Anger Management and you trash your hotel room.
And, as a result, Sheen has ALLEGEDLY been banned from all Ritz Hotel properties, and I’m thinking he’s also been banned from ever eating a Ritz Cracker or even singing Putting On The Ritz.
Maybe they can start calling his TV show The Ritz and he can get banned from there as well?

No Lohan news this week.
I guess she was able to score the good stuff and holed up in a hotel somewhere.
Maybe next week……?

The Today Show Blinked

It wasn't much of a standoff, as standoffs go, but still............

The Today Show, which has a yearly event to feature the wedding of some lucky couple who wish to have their most prized moment immortalized by Matt Lauer, has always been gay-friendly.

Until this year.

Suddenly, same-sex couples were not allowed to enter the Wedding Lottery that is the Today Show. It seems that this year the “Modern Wedding Contest” application included only “bride” and “groom” as options for applicants to choose.

Huh? Bride and Groom.

Oh no honey. It should also be groom and groom, and bride and bride.

So, GLAAD got on the stick and organized a mini-revolution with petitions demanding that Today open the contest to all couple. NBC argued that it was excluding same-sex couples because “the couple must be able to be legally married in New York, which is where the wedding will take place.”

Yeah, but, um, NBC? You have a whole news division at your disposal, so you might have checked that, while marriage equality is not the law of the land in New York, same-sex weddings are legal. And, since same-sex couples can obtain licenses in Iowa, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire and Washington DC, they then can be married in New York, and their marriage recognized int he state that issued the license.

Got that, NBC? Stop focusing on the license and focus on the wedding.

Following a meeting between GLAAD and NBC executives, NBC announced that after listening to community concerns, i.e. a bunch of pissed of LGBT's with email access, it will open the contest to same-sex couples and extend the submission deadline until Monday, July 12. Finalists will be announced later this year and the wedding takes place live on the Today Show this October.

So, c'mon you gay folks looking for your fifteen minutes of fame, get busy and enter. Wouldn't it be a great thing if a gay couple won? Wouldn't it be amazing to have a gay wedding broadcast nationwide?

The only downside?

Ann Curry.

Ann Curry: Gaffes By The Gallon

Ann Curry cracks me up, because, as a newsreader, she's, well, not very good:

So, I wasn't surprised that, when Curry gave a commencement speech to graduates at Wheaton College in Massachusetts, she decided to name off some famous alumni of the school.
Only, yeah, these alumni attended another Wheaton College.
Those names she listed, which included the Rev. Billy Graham, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert and horror movie director Wes Craven, are all graduates of Wheaton College--a Christian school in Illinois.
Curry later apologized in an open letter posted on Wheaton's--the real Wheaton's--website:
"I am mortified by my mistake, and can only hope the purity of my motive, to find a way to connect with the graduates and to encourage them to a life of service, will allow you to forgive me."
Despite the gaffe, Curry noted that the "gracious" students still gave her a standing ovation. "Now THAT is good manners," she wrote.
And, to be fair, she did list some actual graduates of the college where she was speaking; people like, former New Jersey governor Christine Todd Whitman and actress Catherine Keener.
Still, Ann, honey. Read it before you speak it.
Think about what you're saying.
And, for the love of Edward R Murrow, fact check please.
I mean, isn't that your job?