I Didn't Say It ...

Dr. Anthony Fauci, talking to CNN about the GOP and MTG coming for him:

“It’s a pattern, Kaitlan, that whenever somebody gets up—whether it’s a news media, you know Fox News, does it a lot, or it’s somebody in the Congress who gets up and makes a public statement that’s responsible for the deaths of X number of people because of policies or some crazy idea that I created—immediately, it’s like clockwork. The death threats go way up. So, that’s the reason why I’m still getting death threats, when you have performances like that unusual performance by Marjorie Taylor Greene in today’s hearing, those are the kind of things that drive up the death threats because there is a segment of the population out there that believe that kind of nonsense.”

As I saw on Facebook yesterday, please remember that Fauci graduated from Cornell and Large Marge can boil corn.

That’s all.

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Jamie Raskin, Maryland Democrat, speaking to Fauci at this latest hearing:

“[The GOP] is treating you, Dr. Fauci, like a convicted felon. Actually, you probably wish they were treating you like a convicted felon. They treat them with love and admiration. Some blindly worship them.”

Snap.

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Ken Buck, retiring GOP Representative, speaking to Jon Stewart:’

“I think the problem right now is everybody gets their news sources in silos and they just keep getting reinforced with certain ideas. I went to a neighbor’s house the day after the 2020 election, their flag was upside down. There’s a lot of life out there besides arguing about nothing and telling lies, and so I made a choice to go enjoy what I’ve got left. I left because I couldn’t tell the lie. The 2020 election wasn’t stolen. The January 6 defendants aren’t political prisoners. I think there is a leader out there that will unify and help unify America, and it’s somebody who has great morals, somebody who has great leadership skills. A John F. Kennedy. You know, I probably wouldn’t have said this 20 years ago, that he was a great hero, but you look at what John F. Kennedy did in terms of bringing the country together during the Cold War and moving us forward. There is somebody there that will help America heal and move forward. I know it’s not Ken Buck and I know that it’s not one of the two candidates leading the country in the polls right now.”

I think it’s Pete Buttigieg and if we can keep Hair Furor out of power, we can get a President Pete in 2028.

So Vote Blue for the future.

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Stormy Daniels, asking Melanie to leave her crooked husband—not because he f*cked a porn star but because he’s a convicted felon:

“I don’t know what their agreement may or may not be, but Melania needs to leave him. Not because of what he did with me or other women but because he is a convicted felon. It’s been proven he is abusive; he was found liable for sexual assault and tax fraud and is now a criminal. He’s neither Teflon Don nor Teflon Con anymore.”

Yeah, I imagine Melanie has had a team of lawyers rewriting her prenup every other day to make sure she gets more and more coins the longer he stays with Hair Furor.

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Kevin Maxen, the Jacksonville Jaguars strength coach, celebrating his first Pride since coming out last summer:

“Today I get to celebrate the start of my first Pride Month, as open and true to myself as I possibly could be. With all the fear and concern regarding LGBTQ inclusion in sports, I was very worried about how I would be welcomed and viewed by my peers, but after publicly coming out before the start of training camp this past summer, the Jaguars proved to me that no matter what, who, or how you identify, you are supported, loved and valued.”

The Jaguars were one of the first pro sports teams to share a pro-LGBTQ Pride Month message on June 1; even team owner Shad Khan said:

“Kevin is a Jacksonville Jaguar through and through, and a key member of our football team and community. I look forward to seeing Kevin next week at training camp and hope that he comes to work each day during camp and through the season feeling confident, free and at peace.”

It’s doubtful the Jaguars would have been this on-top of Pride Month without an out coach.

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Adam Schiff, California Democrat Representative, on Hair Furor’s daughter-in-law minion, Lara and her whines about the trial:

“Well, first, in terms of Lara _____’s interview, and her complaining about the case being tried in New York before New York jury, if you don’t want to be tried in front of a New York jury, then maybe don’t commit so many crimes in New York City. It’s pretty simple. And that jury was selected in part by [Hair Furor] and his attorneys. They vetted each of the jurors. He had every right that every other criminal defendant has in that courtroom. And they found—this ordinary jury of peers found him guilty on every single count. So if you don’t want to be tried in New York, don’t commit crimes in New York. But he got the same due process as any other person and that’s exactly the way it should be.”

Facts are facts, Lara.

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Hair Furor, on Fox & Friends Weekends, lying cuz it’s all he does:

“I beat her. It’s easier when you win. And they always said lock her up, and I felt—and I could have done it, but I felt it would have been a terrible thing. And then this happened to me. Hillary Clinton—I didn’t say lock her up, but the people said lock her up, lock her up. Okay. Then, we won. And I say—and I said pretty openly, I said, all right, come on, just relax, let’s go, we’ve got to make our country great. And it would have been—think of it, you lock up the wife of a president of the United States.”

Seriously, how many hundreds of times did he effing say it in front of his cult, in front of a goddamned microphone, in front of a f*cking camera, and now he says he never said it.

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David Sedaris, humorist and author, on the choices for president in 2024:

“I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with broken glass in it?’ To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”

I don’t need the shit and shards of glass, do you?

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Bobservations

The other day Carlos asked me to find a piece of music for him on the computer so he could buy it and play it on his trumpet. Well, we searched and searched and couldn’t find exactly what he was looking for and then he suggested we could try a music store where he has gotten oil for his trumpet. But then he remembered another music store he goes to and asked me if we could go there. I asked where that one was and he said:

“It’s by that restaurant where we eat.”

“That restaurant? We only eat at one restaurant?”

“You know the one. By that deli we like.”

When I told him I had no idea what he was talking about he asked me to look for it on Google. I searched and searched for “music store by that restaurant we like by the deli” and couldn’t find it.

Here are the late greats, MaxGoldberg and Tuxedo, BFFs for life … from October 2010

“Just For Giggles

I saw this:

And then I saw this:

Coinkydink?”

Those two boys were the best of friends from the first day they met.

Kevin Maxen, an associate strength coach with the Jacksonville Jaguars, os the first male coach in a major U.S.-based professional league to come out as gay:

"I don't want to feel like I have to think about it anymore. I don't want to feel like I have to lie about who I am seeing, or why I am living with someone else. I want to be vocal in support of people living how they want to live, but I also want to just live and not feel fear about how people will react. You have other coaches who have significant others, and they're talking about their significant others, and I felt guilty that I couldn't do the same thing, that I was letting myself down."

Not any longer, Kevin.

Welcome Out and please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven™ and your own copy of The Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

An all-male panel of anti-abortion religious leaders from around the country have met at an event hosted by Operation Save America—an anti-abortion, anti-LGBTQ and anti-Muslim group—that wants Americans to follow “God’s law” and their interpretation of the Christian gospel. So, they decided that a woman who chooses abortion should be put to death.

They say they’re pro-life but don’t see the hypocrisy.

Elon Musk’s has rebranded Twitter as X because he thinks it’ll turn the site profitable again, when the reason it loses money is not because of the name but because of the asshat owner.

X marks the spot where Twitter died.

A man walks into a bar and there, perched atop the bar, is an antique oil lamp. And he asks the bartender:

“What’s this?”

“I dunno. Maybe the last guy left it?”

The man looks at the lamp, notices a couples of spots on it, and begins rubbing it with his shirt sleeve to clean it when … Poof! A cloud of smoke and a genie appears. And like all genies he offers the man Three Wishes. The man thinks for a moment and then says:

“Turn Texas Governor Greg Abbott into a pregnant woman living in a small house with no power and no air conditioning and no working fridge due to our power grid failing on a 104-degree day.”

The genie smiles and says:

“This one’s on me.”

My kinda genie.

Remember Senator Tommy Tuberville saying White Nationalists aren’t racists? Well, because he’s an ignorant twazcock, people began digging into his past and found that the stories Tommy tells about his father’s military service aren’t exactly truthful.

Tuberville claims that his daddy, Charles Tuberville Jr., lied about his age to join the army, that he was a tank commander, that he earned five Bronze Stars, and that he participated in the D-Day landing. But, an examination of army histories, newspaper reports and other materials show that Big Daddy Tuberville joined the army at 18, never got any Bronze Stars, and was never a tank commander but he might have been there on D-Day.

Let’s see, Republican who thinks White Nationalists aren’t racists is also a liar. Yeah, business as usual.

John Halls is six-foot-tall, 41-year-old former footballer turned model, and the question is: Would You Hit It?