Random Musings ... Well, A Funny, A Giant F**k Off Pile, A Hot Man and A Tweet

I’m’a start off with a laugh, I hope, and then get down to building a giant Fuck Off Pile for a lot of other folks.

Carlos plays trumpet in a local community band, so he blows his, um, horn, every night after dinner. The other night, as I do, I asked this question:

“Are you practicing your bazooka tonight?”

“My bazooka?”

“Well, you say trumpet, I say bazooka because it’s an assault on my ears!”

He.Did.Not.Laugh.

Okay ... the Fuck Off Pile:

So _____ once said he would be an ally to the LGBT community and then, once elected, scrubbed the White House website of its LGBT pages ... removed LGBT Americans from the Census count ... and completely ignored Pride month.

Now, he’s come specifically for our Trans brothers and sisters who wish to join, or are already enlisted in, the military, saying that American forces could not afford the “tremendous medical costs and disruption” of transgender service members ... except, the military spends more on Viagra than it does medical costs for transgender personnel.

The Lying President also said he’d consulted generals and military experts, but Defense Secretary Jim Mattis was given just one day’s notice about the decision.

Oh, and those “tremendous medical costs” that the estimated 15,000 Trans military personnel might need would add $8.4 million to the total medical costs of all active duty service members ... about 0.1 % of what the military spends on medical care for all service members and an increase of about 0.0014% of _____’s defense budget.

But, hey, ban Trans persons anyway!

Here’s my thought: a spoiled little rich boy, back in the late 60s and early 70s received five deferments from serving in Vietnam because, ahem, he had bone spurs and his feet hurt. But then he continued to play football on those bad feet while other Americans went to war, and now, as president this draft-dodging motherf**ker is banning Trans persons from service because they are a “disruption”?

Trans persons fight every single day just to be themselves.

Trans persons fight every day to live openly.

Trans persons fight every day to use a bathroom that aligns with their gender identity.

Trans persons fight every day to live and work and survive as they are.

Trans persons, especially Trans women, fight every single day just to stay alive and not be beaten, bashed or murdered for being Trans.

And, again, a draft-dodging assh*le treats them like pariahs when they choose to serve the country that, once again, pushes them into a corner and treats them as less than.

Fuck off, Mr. President. You are screwing with the wrong crowd.

Oh, and where are Jared and Ivanka during this?

Ivanka made a point to Tweet out support during Pride Month, calling herself an ally to our community, but where is she now?

Are there Chinese workers slacking off in sweatshops rather than making her crappy clothes and handbags?

Ivanka, and Jared, you two can jump in the Fuck Off Pile, too.

Also in the Fuck Off Pile is Senator John McCain who came back to the Senate this week after being out for surgery and a cancer diagnosis.

See, after his free healthcare allowed doctors to find his pre-existing condition, diagnose it and start a treatment course, McCain arrived in the Senate to cast his vote in favor of advancing the bill to repeal Obamacare.

Yes, healthcare, free and clear, is fine for McCain, but he voted to deny it to 25 million Americans because ... Obama.

The Vote Vets organization also made notice that while John McCain ripped healthcare from millions, including veterans, he has also opposed the GI Bill and wants to privatize the Veterans Administration.

Quite the legacy Old Man. Get off our lawn.

Remember back in 2014, when drunken assh*le Kathryn Knott and 14 of her thug friends were partying in Philadelphia and came across gay couple Zachary Hesse and Andrew Haught and then attacked them while shouting anti-gay slurs?

Knott refused to take a plea, was found guilty and sentenced to prison. Now out, she is facing a civil suit from the victims, who are seeking $500,000 in damages from her and two men in the group, Philip Williams and Kevin Harrigan—who took a plea deal to avoid jail time—and now Knott is claiming self-defense.

Yes, she is; she says the victims may have been injured, but it only happened because she was defending herself from Hesse, Haught, “and their friends.”

Odd, because she and her friends started the altercation, and no one knows what “friends” she’s talking about because Hesse and Haught were alone when attacked. And so, if that doesn’t fly—and it shouldn’t—Knot also blames Harrigan and Williams for the victims’ injuries.

She was there; she started it; she shouted the hate speech; but it was in self-defense?

The Fuck Off Pile grows larger ... Fuck Off, Kathryn.

David Narramore, a Kentucky Republican Party county chairman, has resigned after he was arrested in Tennessee on charges of indecent exposure and resisting arrest in a Belk department store.

A Belk employee was in the next stall and claims Narramore started rubbing his foot against the employee’s foot; then, outside the stall, Narramore exposed himself to the employee.

Security was called and escorted Narramore to an office to wait for police to arrive; police say he “passively” resisted arrest and then attempted to fight officers, so they tried to tase him. When that didn’t work, a police officer hit Narramore in the face and wrestled him to the ground.

Narramore is charged with indecent exposure and resisting arrest, and claiming that the Belk employee returned the “foot touch,” though he doesn’t seem the claim that the Belk employee dropped his pants and showed his penis to Narramore.

Looky there, another GOP official trying to get down in a men’s room.

He can join the Fuck Off Pile, too.

Ken Ham, a religious wingnut, created Ark Encounter, a Biblical theme park for fellow religious wingnuts, but that’s not why he’s in hot water.

Ham actually sold his for-profit company to his own non-profit division of his company for the staggering price of ten-dollars so he could avoid a 50-cent per ticket local sales tax meant to pay for the additional fire and police protection required by the attraction.

And that backfired nicely. A lawyer for the Kentucky Tourism, Arts, and Heritage Cabinet sent a letter to the lawyer for Ark Encounter saying Ark Encounter, LLC, is in breach of its Tourism Development Agreement… with the Commonwealth. On July 10, 2017, the Tourism, Arts, and Heritage Cabinet… became aware of a quit claim deed transferring the Ark Project land, with all the privileges and appurtenances to the same, from Ark Encounter, LLC, a for profit company, to Crosswater Canyon, Inc. a non-profit company makes the business ineligible for state tax incentives.

And now Ham and his band of creationists have screwed themselves out of $18 million over the next decade because they didn’t want to pay a local safety fee worth about $700,000 a year.

Turns out creationists don’t do science or math. Into the Fuck Off Pile, sir.

Also in Kentucky, a Federal Judge David Bunning ordered the state to pay $222,695 in attorneys’ fees to same-sex couples who sued clerk Kim Davis in 2015 when she refused to give them marriage licenses.

So now, Kentucky taxpayers will bear the financial burden of Kim Davis’ ignorance and hate.

Sorry, not sorry. ... and Fuck Off, again, Kim.

Sean Spicer. Out of a job and now accused of theft?

Yup ... Apparently before leaving his job as ______’s spokes-tool, Spicey stole a mini-fridge from some junior staffers.

See, about a month into his gig, Spicey needed to keep his food and drink cold so he sent an aide to a nearby executive office building where junior research employees are crammed into a room, surviving on Lean Cuisine frozen lunches and had the aide take their mini-fridge.

They refused to give it up and so, ALLEGEDLY, Spicey snuck in later and stole it.

Seriously. This is the _____ White House; thieves, grifters and con artists.

Fuck Off, Spicey.

Enough of the pile ... Hot Man ...

I love Starz show Outlander.... mostly because of hottie Sam Heughan, who plays Hottie Scotsman Jamie Fraser on the show. Heughan was just featured in Men’s Health South Africa photo shoot and looks fabulous.

Swoon.

Atheists Take On Creationist Theme Park In Kentucky

Out there in Kentucky … because, where else? … a Noah’s Ark theme park, Ark Encounter, created by a group called Answers in Genesis, is set to open this July. The centerpiece of the park, like Disney’s Cinderella’s castle or Epcot’s globe, is a 510-foot replica of Noah’s Ark.

Um, okay … but, since the group behind Ark Encounter has initiated a discriminatory hiring practice, which is a polite way of saying, No Gays, No Atheists, No One But Christians, another group, the Tri-State Freethinkers, has erected a billboard saying Ark Encounter “celebrates the destruction of humankind, minus whoever was on the ark" and calls the site a “genocide and incest park” that “[celebrates] 2000 years of myths."

Ark Encounter documents state that “employees must oppose abortion, euthanasia, gay rights, and trans rights” in addition to, well, here’s Ark Encounter’s statement of faith:

"The only legitimate marriage sanctioned by God is the joining of one man and one woman in a single, exclusive union, as delineated in Scripture. God intends sexual intimacy to only occur between a man and a woman who are married to each other, and has commanded that no intimate sexual activity be engaged in outside of a marriage between a man and a woman. Any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, bisexual conduct, bestiality, incest, pornography, or any attempt to change one’s gender, or disagreement with one’s biological gender, is sinful and offensive to God."

Answers in Genesis is also responsible for the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, where visitors learn that the earth is 6,000 years old and that humans and dinosaurs once lived side-by-side in peace and harmony … Wait. The Flintstones is real?

The Creation Museum has also come under fire for antigay discrimination because they also require employees to sign a pledge that “makes applicants promise to follow… orthodox Christian beliefs, including opposing same-sex marriage and believing all answers exist in the Bible.”

And if you’re gay, stay away from Creation Museum lest you spontaneously combust. Back in 2011 the museum turned away two men who had purchased tickets to its annual Date Night because, Creation Museum representatives say, the couple’s presence would “add an un-Christian element to the event.” Trouble was, the two men were neither gay, nor a couple, just two fellas who didn’t have dates for the Creation Museum event.

And this whole mess begins with the man behind Answers in Genesis: Ken Ham. He hates The Gays; in 2015, Ham argued that following the Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality, the United States is “under judgment from God”;

“One of the signs of even God judging a nation and withdrawing the restraining influence of the Holy Spirit, one of the signs is the sign of homosexual behavior, as it says in Romans 1, and I believe we’re seeing that in this nation, I believe this nation is under judgment.”

Ham also believes that the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman is so fundamental to society that if we give up that principle, people may as well go naked:

“If you abandon Genesis’ literal history of marriage and say marriage can be two men or two women or whatever you want, well, why not abandon clothing?”

Well, that could be fun? But let’s get serious for a moment. Ken Ham, and his people, and his theme parks and museums, can believe and promote whatever they want, but they are asking taxpayers, all taxpayers, to pay for their arks and myths.

In 2014, Answers in Genesis applied for, and received, $18 million in tax breaks from the Kentucky Tourism Development Finance Authority to build Ark Encounters; that funding was briefly revoked by the governor after news broke of the park’s discriminatory hiring practices which made them ineligible for tax breaks.

But, Answers in Genesis appealed the board’s decision through a federal lawsuit, arguing that Ark Encounters’ tax exemptions were denied based on the theme park’s “religious purpose and message” and U.S. District Judge Gregory Van Tatenhove agreed, writing that the attraction is “neutral, has a secular purpose, and does not grant preferential treatment to anyone based on religion.”

You know, except for not hiring gays and denying entrance to events to anyone who might be perceived as gay. And so that’s why Tri-State Freethinkers Crowdsourced $7,200 to campaign against Ark Encounters and if they reach the $10,000 mark — their next milestone — they’ll buy “four billboards at the same time or up to 10 locations spread out over the summer.”

And, this may be a stretch, if they raise $150 million they’ll build their own theme park … maybe right next door to the Ark.

The Advocate

I Didn't Say It ...

Roger Moore, former James Bond actor, on being against the idea of a gay Bond or a black Bond or a female Bond:

“I have heard people talk about how there should be a lady Bond or a gay Bond. But they wouldn’t be Bond for the simple reason that wasn’t what Ian Fleming wrote. It is not about being homophobic or, for that matter, racist – it is simply about being true to the character. A few years ago, I said that Cuba Gooding, Jr. would make an excellent Bond, but it was a joke! Although James may have been played by a Scot, a Welshman and an Irishman, I think he should be ‘English-English.'”

Says the worst James Bond ever.

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Wale, a rapper, on how Frank Ocean won a Grammy because he's gay:

“If a dude was gay, man, he’d get a Grammy. They’re going to make fun of them, they’re gonna throw their Twitter jokes…but in the next three years there’s probably gonna be a dude who’s not even gay that’s just like ‘Man, this is my last resort’ …But nah, I would sign a gay rapper if he was dope. ‘Go ahead man, go do that thing, go do them Versace fashion shows.’ But the point I’m trying to make is it’s definitely – and people are probably going to go bad on me for saying this – but it’s an advantage to be gay in this country right now. That’s just the fact of the matter. Frank Ocean is very dope. Very very dope artist. He got pushed to the moon when he dropped his album though. He got the Grammy and everything. There’s about 30 artists in the country that sold about how much he did or more – they didn’t get any of that.”

First off, when you speak, make sure you can be understood because this shiz is all over the place.

Are they making 'fun' of gay people or giving them awards?

And, for the record, Wale, or whatever your name really is — Olubowale Victor Akintimehin — you don't win a Grammy for record sales so it makes no difference how many people sold the same number as Ocean, m'kay?

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Anthony Mackie, the actor who plays The Falcon in the Marvel movies, on whether or not the new film The Black Panther needs a black director:

“I don’t think it’s important at all. As a director your job is to tell a story. You know, they didn’t get a horse to direct Seabiscuit! The thing is I don’t think the race of the director has to do with their ability to tell a story. I think it’s all about the director’s ability to be able to relate to that story and do it justice. I think men can direct women, and two of my greatest work experiences were with female directors. So I think it all depends. May the best man—or woman—win.”

Wait. What? A horse didn't direct Seabiscuit? I want my eight bucks back. And do not try and tell me a cartoon cat didn’t direct Garfield: The Movie or I'm'a cut a bitch.

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Ken Ham, creationist, on same-sex marriage leading to full nudity:

“The doctrine of marriage is based there upon the literal history of Genesis But if that history is not true, if there was no literal Adam and Eve, then what is marriage, why is it to be a man and a woman? It’s only a man and a woman because God invented marriage, and he invented marriage when he made the first marriage, Adam and Eve.  The origin of clothing is right there in Genesis so if you abandon Genesis’ literal history of marriage and say marriage can be two men or two women or whatever you want, well why not abandon clothing?”

Wait, so God invented marriage and fashion? I know he gave Adam and Steve those fig leaves to cover their manly bits, but I never knew he created a pastor or preacher or priests or shaman or witch doctor to perform the ceremony where Adam and Eve got married.

I always thought they just shacked yup.

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