Bobservations

Had yet another Meryl Streep Crisis with Carlos. I was telling him that I saw a video of her appearance on the Graham Norton Show a few years back with Hugh Grant and they were telling stories of making Florence Foster Jenkins.

“She wasn’t in that.”

“Meryl Streep? You think you can tell me something I don’t know about Meryl Streep? Of course she was in the movie.”

“The movie about the really bad singer.”

“Yes. Florence.Foster.Mother-effing.Jenkins.”

“Who did she play?”

“Who did Meryl Streep play in Florence Foster Jenkins?”

“Yes.”

“She played a cab driver who drove Florence to the theater … SHE WAS FLORNCE FOSTER JENKINS.”

“Was she?”

I hadn’t used it in a while but I pulled out my cartoon frying back and clubbed him over the head.

From May 2019 … another scorcher in Smallville and once again Tuxedo has the right idea.

So Jeff Bezos’ arm candy Lauren Sánchez asked Big Daddy if she could take the rocket out for a spin this week and took aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe, social entrepreneur Amanda Nguyen, film producer Kerianne Flynn, Oprah’s side-piece Gayle King, and “singer” and media whore Katy Perry on a ten-minute space ride while real female astronauts are being let go in an anti-DEI nightmare..

The Real Stupid Housewives of Space.

I need some cakes, some simple, plain, unadorned, man cakes to rid my mind of the image of Katy Perry dropping to the ground after her ten-minute ride and kissing Mother Earth.

Thank God for cakes.

The Fascist In Chief says the 5.3 million people who took part in the Hands Off march were paid millions by George Soros—I guess my check is in the mail—and if the MAGAts believe that line, why not pretend you’re a liberal and sign up for the next protest and expose the whole thing.

See, we hate The Felon for free.

That is Peter Hildebrand, father of Daisy—the second unvaccinated girl to die of measles in Texas in just two months. This paragon of fatherhood says he has no regrets about not vaccinating her and just letting her die and does not plan to vaccinate any future children.

In a perfect world Peter would be dead of measles and Daisy could live a long full productive  MAGAt free life.

Brainwashing is powerful … when you’re dumb. 

Well, here’s a novel way to keep people from stealing your fanny back … make it look like a bag of flab hanging over your belt.

First crocs and now this …

Think on this … we are sinking so deep into fascism that a Jewish Governor Josh Shapiro’s house getting firebombed on Passover by a guy who wanted to bash Shapiro’s head in with a hammer is overshadowed by a felon in the White saying he wants to build foreign gulags for American citizens.

Resist before it’s too late.

Lorenzo Viotti is a 35-year-old Swiss conductor of the Netherlands Philharmonic Orchestra and Dutch National Opera who looks like he has a delicate touch with his baton, so … Would You Hit It?

Meme Dump

Oh Herschel, It's Best You Don't Speak

Last week talked about Georgia GOP Senate candidate Herschel Walker’s campaign to make men more accountable as father’s and criticizing Black men who walk away from their families.

It all became even more interesting when we found out that Walker is one of those fathers who had a child with a woman and then left the family.

Now, Walker has admitted Herschel had a son he’d never mentioned, but denied he was trying to keep his secret son a secret. Herschel Walker takes care of his children even the son he’s never seen and he was furious that he was portrayed as a deadbeat dad.

And then came word that Herschel Walker has yet another son, a thirteen-year-old, with a different woman who had to sue deadbeat dad Herschel Walker for support.

And then there was a third child, a daughter born while Walker was in college.

Gosh, Herschel, I can see why you don’t want to debate anyone. So many lies and so many children to keep secret. In fact, Christian Walker, the son Herschel admits to, recently went on a  video rant about deadbeat dads, specifically Nick Cannon saying those men were “everything wrong” with America and adding:

“Get home and raise your kids! And take care of the women you’re knocking up! Can you control your thing for three seconds??”

I guess Christian didn’t know about his secret siblings at the time and didn’t know his own Daddy couldn’t control his “thing.”

Seriously Georgia? Haven’t you been embarrassed enough by “Gazpacho-police-Peach-Tree-Dish-Fragrantly-Denied” Marjorie Traitor Greene? Do you really need Walker, the GOP poster boy for saying one thing, preaching one thing, and then doing exactly the opposite?

They're Everywhere ...

I try to start the week off with a good story, a cute story, a feel-good story, if you will, but this week I uncovered that other virus infecting America … Stupidity and Ignorance. It’s everywhere and the only cure is education and turning off Fox. Sadly, these folks are too far gone …

MICHIGAN

Litter boxes have never been inside Midland Public Schools and are not being used by students, according to the district's superintendent who issued a statement to families on Thursday to dispel rumors on social media.

Michael Sharrow, Midland Public Schools superintendent, was forced to go on Facebook to tell parents of students that one parent was, um, wrong, er, stupid, to say that the schools were providing litter boxes in student restrooms for those who identify themselves as “furries.”

"Let me be clear in this communication. There is no truth whatsoever to this false statement-accusation! There have never been litter boxes within MPS schools. … [Our] Midland PS stakeholders may be confused about a false message-accusation that has resurfaced this week and is gaining traction in the social media realm. It is such a source of disappointment that I felt the necessity to communicate this message to you. In this divisive-contentious world in which we currently find ourselves, I ask that if you hear wild accusations that don’t sound like something in which your Midland Public Schools Board of Education, Administration, District would be part, take a moment to send an MPSConnect message to me."

Merriam-Webster defines a "furry" as "a person who identifies with and enjoys dressing as an animal especially as a member of a subculture devoted to the practice."

I’m not sure who was dumber, the parent who started the rumor, and spread it to social media, or the parents who believed it.

VIRGINIA

Amelia King was charged last week after she said at a school board meeting that she would "bring every single gun loaded and ready" to fight mask requirements for her children.

King later emailed the board to apologize for her choice of words:

"I in no way meant to imply all guns loaded as in actual firearms, but rather all resources I can muster to make sure that my children get to attend school without masks. My sincere apologies for my poor choice in words."

coughcoughbullshitcoughcough.

She said, “every single gun loaded and ready” and so the Luray Police Department charged King with making an oral threat on school property.

She has since been released on a $5,000 bond.

I hope her guns are taken from her, and I hope her children are checked on because this woman needs someone to watch her. In the age of school shootings being an almost “normal” occurrence, words matter, and hopefully her words, her ignorance, will cost her some jail time and a big fine.

Washington DC

Representative Lauren Boebert is once again in hot water for being an ignorant twat, after she asked a group of Jewish people visiting the US Capitol if they were there to do “reconnaissance.”

A rabbi in the group says:

“You know, I’m not sure to be offended or not. I was very confused. … I actually turned to the person standing next to me and asked, ‘Did you just hear that?’”

Boebert now says her little question was a joke and that she made it as a dig against Democrats who accused her of conducting large tours for people days before the Capitol riot happened:

“I saw a large group and made a joke. Sadly when Democrats see the same they demonize my family for a year straight.”

Hey Lauren, you dumb hate-filled bitch, you are not funny; if you’d wanted to make a point, however ignorant and stupid, you would have made it to Democrats, those people you accuse of demonizing you and your family, You wouldn’t make it to a group of unsuspecting visitors.

But she’s not done being a hate-filled ass; while the person leading the group was an Orthodox Jewish individual with a traditional beard and others had yarmulkes on, this twat said:

“I’m too short to see anyone’s yarmulkes.”

You’re too stupid to be in Congress, too.

PENNSYLVANIA

The Chambersburg Borough Council is set to vote today to rescind the anti-discrimination ordinance just four months ratifying it last October because the political makeup of the council changed to a majority of Republicans in November.

And Republicans hate LGBTQ+ Americans.

Chambersburg is among 70 Pennsylvania municipalities with LGBTQ+ protections regarding housing, employment, and public accommodations but would be the first to repeal its protections.

Pennsylvania, like 26 other states, has no such statewide protections.

WASHINGTON DC

The House Veterans’ Affairs Committee held a virtual meeting this week on how toxic chemicals are killing US soldiers but Representative Madison Cawthorn used the meeting to clean his gun on camera.

Cawthorn, the youngest and dumbest current member of Congress, fiddled with his black pistol while one witness explained how burn pits are harming military service members, and when Cawthorn’s staff was asked if this was an appropriate use of time, his spokes-idiot, Luke Ball, said:

“What could possibly be more patriotic than guns and veterans?”

Cawthorn wouldn’t know because he lied about being accepted to the Naval Academy and then waves around his gun on camera as a substitute for his limp dick.

Get educated. Save yourself from The Stupids.

Bobservations

Sometimes I’m a dick. Oh, I don’t mean to be, but my sarcastic sense of humor comes into play and … I’m a dick.

Case in point: with Carlos’ eyesight getting worse, he has chosen to stop playing with the local community band. He’s found a couple of other people to play with, at hospitals and churches around town, and that’s a better thing for him. But this past weekend our community band was having it’s Christmas concert and since Carlos wasn’t playing he asked if I still wanted to go. I said Yes, especially because I could sit in the audience with him.

The morning of the concert, I sarcastically asked what time he wanted me to drop him off; he said we didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to, but I said I was kidding and of course we were going. I spoke to my Dad that day and told him we were going; I was doing chores and making Spicy Asian Chicken and Rice soup that we could have after the concert. I planned on getting the soup all done, then letting it simmer from 3 until 3:45, before the concert, and then it would be ready to eat when we got home.

At 3PM, I set the soup to simmer and walked back to the office where Carlos was working on the computer, and said, again, ‘What time do you want me to drop you off?’ He turned around and said, ‘You don’t want to go, so we won’t go.’

“I do want to go, I was just kidding. I’m gonna take a shower and we can leave about 3:45.”

“The concert starts right now.”

Yes, I had screwed up the times, and then made stupid jokes all day about not going, and now it looked like I was doing it on purpose. I told Carlos I wasn’t showering; I was going to jeans-and-ball-cap it and we’d go.

Long story short: we were about 10 minutes late but saw most of the concert and had a really wonderful time.

Lesson learned: don’t be a dick unless you absolutely, positively, have the times right…or maybe don’t be a dick, period?

Yeah, that won’t happen.

Tuxedo is amazed at the way Republican politicians like Banks seem to lie so easily, and without batting an eye.

Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib, left,  isn’t shy about being the first out gay player in the NFL. He donated $100,000 to The Trevor Project organization and has now created custom cleats for football players as part of the NFL’s My Cause My Cleats campaign. The program gives NFL players the ability to design custom cleats supporting a charitable cause or organization of their choosing, and Nassib’s  custom cleats highlight The Trevor Project, featuring the colors of the Pride flag along the laces, along with The Trevor Project logo, the organization’s suicide prevention lifeline [1-866-488-7386] and the message “Protect LGBTQ+ Lives.”

Good on him for standing in his truth. And good on Cleveland Browns fullback Johnny Stanton, right, a self-described LGBTQ ally, who wore Nassib’s cleats when the Browns played the Raiders and Nassib was sidelined with a knee injury.

It looks like former Minneapolis Police Officer, and convicted murderer, Derek Chauvin will be pleading guilty to violating George Floyd ’s civil rights. The federal docket entry shows a hearing has been scheduled for Chauvin to change his current not guilty plea in the case.

Good; you’re guilty.

James and Jennifer Crumbley, the complicit parents of Oxford High School shooter Ethan Crumbley will have no influence, and no insight, into their son’s criminal case or life in the near term.

According to his court-appointed lawyer, Paulette Michel Loftin, Crumbley and his parents are deliberately estranged, and Loftin does not plan to cooperate with the parents’ legal team despite a long tradition of attorneys following formal and informal agreements to share information.

Lovely family.

Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky has begged President Biden for expeditious federal relief aid to victims of a deadly 200-mile tornado that struck his state last week.

This is the same Rand Paul who, in 2017, was one of 17 GOP senators to oppose an emergency $15.3 billion federal relief bill for victims of Hurricane Harvey. This is the same Rand Paul who, in 2013, was one of 31 GOP senators who voted against a $50.5 billion relief aid package for Hurricane Sandy.

Pandering fucking hypocrite.

Anne Rice, author of “Interview with the Vampire” and so many other novels, passed away over the weekend due to complications from a stroke.; she was 80.

I met her at Tower Books in Sacramento during the last century when she was signing books; I brought several and was told she would only sign one. When I got up to the desk she remarked at the handful of hardcover books I had and said:

“Set ‘em down, I’ve got a lot of signing to do.”

And she signed every single one.

RIP.

Alex Jones, the loon who claimed the Sandy Hook School shooting, where children were murdered, was a hoax, is now claiming that President Biden used, ahem, “weather machines” to spawn those tornadoes in Kentucky:

“So, they just think you’re stupid and they don’t want you knowing they are doing all of this, and they’ve got carbon systems they are putting in … that are sucking carbon dioxide out of the air when it’s a trace gas that we need … That’s why plants and animals were so much bigger and healthier.

…

[The] question is, did [Joe] Biden last February, this year, order the power turned off in Texas. They did officially; they wouldn’t let them up the power. Now, we know that. So the question is did they use weather weapons to cause the tornadoes? That’s a legitimate question to ask.”

Wait, so now Sleepy Joe, can’t stay awake Joe, suffering from dementia Joe, too old to govern so he’s the face of a shadow government Joe, has built “weather weapons”?

Bitch. Please.

We’ve all done stupid things to get out of something we didn’t want to do but a 50-year-old man from Italy has taken the top prize when he bought a prosthetic arm to avoid getting a COVID-19 shot.

The man—whose name is being withheld—went through all the formalities at the clinic, and health workers did not notice his fake appendage until she touched it. She asked the man to remove his shirt, and immediately realized he had been wearing a faux limb.

I mean, c’mon, he paid for a fake limb to avoid getting a free shot? Are they sure he wasn’t an American loon on holiday?

This week in Would You Hit It we feature Brazilian actor and model, Arthur Sales—born Arthur Sales Gouveia. That’s all you get, so Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

We are headed out West next month to see my dad and this week Carlos was on the phone making flight reservations. We have some AMEX miles we wanted to use and so he was dealing with one of their representatives. She reeled off several flight out options, and we picked one; then she did the same for the return. She asked how many tickets, we said ‘two,’ and she said:

“It comes to $687 before the miles and will be $459 with the miles.”

Carlos shrieked one of his Howler Monkey Shrieks™ until the woman said:

“You know that’s for both tickets, right??

“Both? Roundtrip? Both”

“Yes sir.”

Carlos’ voice dropped several decibels to a more human level and he said:

“Sounds fair. Let’s go ahead and book that then.”

Nice save. Not.

Tuxedo has zero fucks to give to this anti-women woman who does the bidding of old white men.

There are sure a lot of books coming out, and more to come, written by people who worked in the White House for Thing 45. And they want y’all to know that they were there, watching all this chaos and lunacy and criminal behavior unfold.

I, however, would like y’all to remember that they were there and saw it all and did nothing about it except wait and author a book and make money off the story of this country teetering on the edge of anarchy.

Fuck ‘em.

My father and brother have been going round and round about COVID and the vaccine. My father is a retired science and chemistry teacher and masks and social distanced and got the vaccine, while my brother is an anti-government-COVID-is-a-hoax-tool who, sad to say, might have gone to the insurrection, but is too cheap to travel cross-country.

My dad has told my brother that he cannot visit unless he comes with a recent negative COVID test and wears a mask whenever he’s around my dad. My brother won’t be visiting any time soon because …

… my brother, sister-in-law, and niece all have COVID.

Oy, the hoax of it all.

I was commenting on a blog the other day and used the word scrubdown [sic]. Now, Duchess Deedles loves to needle me about my misspelled words that Spell Check doesn’t catch, but I will say I often write ‘scrub down’ as ‘scrubdown’ because I use it like this: ‘a Silkwood Scrubdown™.’

But when commenting on the blog I wasn’t using it like that and as I Spell Checked my comment, the suggestion was made that perhaps I meant ‘SC rub down.’ I have lived in South Carolina 14 years now and have never heard of an ‘SC rub down,’ but now I am both curious and on the prowl.

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City because even I don’t like that much trash, but after watching E! covering the Met Gala, RHoSLC came on and I was writing about the fashions I’d just seen so I didn’t change the channel.

I looked up in time to see the daughter of one of the "wives” ... who came to this country from Vietnam ... playing piano rather brilliantly, and then talking about how school was very important to her, and uttering the best line I’d heard in a long time when she was asked if she was a straight-A student:

“Well, I am Asian, I’m not B-sian.”

I.Died.

I wanna be her when I grow up,

It boggles my mind that parents will crash a schoolboard meeting to protest their children wearing masks in public, but never once crashed a schoolboard meeting to question guns and gun control and school shootings.

They don’t wanna protect their kids from a virus and yet they want to have active shooter drills because guns in schools happens.

I saw this on BosGuy Twitter  …

I’m not saying the new husband’s a homo, I’m just sayin’ he likes a man in a speedo walking out of the surf more than his new bride.

That’s all.

One thing to take away from the California recall election, which failed by a margin of 68% to 32%.

So, what does this mean? Simple, when Democrats show up to vote, Democrats win. We outnumber Republicans, but you have to get you asses to the voting booths every single election where you can vote. It’s like I always say:

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

In this week’s episode of Would You Hit It, I give you male model Rafael Miller. He’s from France and became a fitness trainer to get himself in shape and then turned to modeling. He also, as you can see below, likes to do the one leg long, one leg short style of dressing that Mitchell often features on his blog, Moving With Mitchell.

So … Would you hit it?