The Funny Papers

Ed Wexler, Chris Britt, Jonathan Brown, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Jon Ostrove, David Horsey, Mike Luckovich, Dennis Goris, Dave Whamond, Tim Campbell,  Benjamin Slyngstad, Gary Huck, Clay Bennett

Meme Dump

Bobservations

The other night Carlos and I sat down to watch Jeopardy, as is our wont, just as they were announcing the contestants. They introduced one Madeline Kaplan and Carlos said:

“Madeleine Albright?”

And because I’m who I am and cannot help myself, I said:

“Yes, the Secretary of State under Bill Clinton in on Jeopardy tonight, but even more interesting is that she’s been dead since 2022.”

I cannot help myself and thank the goddess every single day that Carlos gets me.

This Tale of Tuxedo comes to us from August 2009 when he decided to “help with the household chores.

He was always such a good boy.

I was thinking … if it’s okay for America to kidnap Maduro and his wife and put them on trial then wouldn’t it also be okay for Europe to kidnap Cankles and Melania and put them on trial?

Asking for a country.

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, the greediest man in the world, is selling his $500 million yacht because he says it’s too big to manage and costs about $30 million a year to operate or because it attracts too much attention, so let’s dissect:

He didn’t think it was too big to manage when, during construction in Rotterdam, the historic Koningshaven Bridge AKA De Hef had to be partially dismantled just to get the yacht out of dry dock … the ship was eventually towed without its masts to avoid the bridge.

And he didn’t realize that a 417-foot-long yacht, the largest yacht in the world, would attract a lot of attention.

Clearly one of the world’s richest men, who can afford a half-billion-dollar toy doesn’t have the good sense god gave a goat … or maybe the missus’ plastic surgery bills are too high.

Everybody is always talking about Saturn and the beautiful rings around the planet but here’s one celestial body with rings that I find far more interesting.

Ready for liftoff!

Speaking of Melanie …attendees at a White House event burst into laughter on Wednesday after the Slovenian Hooker praised her husband’s “empathy”:

“Most know my husband as the strong commander-in-chief, but his empathy transcends the role.”

I get it that English isn’t her strong suit, but c’mon Melanie. How empathetic was he when you were giving birth to his child and he was out fucking a porn star?

Here’s Katy Perry at the Met Gala Monday night and I can safely say this is the best she’s ever looked.

Martin Boyle is a Scottish fashion model known for his work with Armani, Calvin Klein and Diesel. Imagine that accent and then, Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Joe Heller, Pedro X Molina, Mike Luckovich, Matt Davies, RJ Matson, Matt Wuerker, Nick Anderson, Michael de Adder, Steve Sack, Gary Huck, Max Espinoza, Adam Zyglis, Phil Hands