Bobservations

When Tuxedo was spryer, he was quite the jumper. He’d jump to high shelves in the closet and then down to the floor, dropping over seven feet each time. He wasn’t allowed on counters—none of the pets at Casa Bob y Carlos are—but because he is The Great Tuxedo, he was allowed on the bathroom counter to drink from the faucet while we brushed our teeth.

Now that’s he’s older and less likely to make that leap, I pick him up and put him on the counter. I let him drink from the faucet while I brush my teeth, and when I am ready to rinse, I mumble, ‘My turn,’ and he wanders away from the sink to sit and wait until I set him back on the ground.

Last night, however, I walked into the bedroom and heard Carlos talking to Tuxedo, saying Tuxedo was ‘very thirsty.’ I went into the bathroom and found Tuxedo at the edge of the sink, with Carlos cupping his hands to make a little basin for Tuxedo to drink from.

I told Carlos then, and I will tell you all now: my husband is severely pussy[cat]whipped.

Try as he might, Tuxedo, and his two dads, cannot understand this country sometimes.

Last week, before Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Basketball Finals the Miami Heat began with a moment of silence in honor of the victims of the Robb Elementary School mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas that ended with this message:

"The Heat urges you to contact your state senator by calling 202-224-3121 to leave a message demanding their support for common sense gun laws. You can also make change at the ballot box. Visit Heat.com/vote to register and let your voice be heard this fall."

Gun control is once again a major issue after last week’s shooting, especially in Florida, where the state's GOP leadership is  pushing for a change in state law to allow residents to carry concealed guns without permits.

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

Oh Marge Traitor Greene. You are really giving Lauren Boebert and Matt Gaetz a run for their money as the Dumbest Member of Congress.

Y’all might recall when Greene warned of Biden’s “gazpacho police”? Rumor has it she meant Gestapo, but maybe Marge was hungry. Well, she’s at it again, this time claiming that the government wants “surveillance on every part of your life,” including on what people are eating:

“Which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat this fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish so you’ll probably get a little zap inside your body that’ll say ‘No, don’t eat a real cheeseburger, you need to eat the fake burger.’”

Peach tree dish?

Seriously, Georgia, between this moron and Herschel Walker, you state Republicans look like you only elect idiots.

The other day I ran a red light and crashed into a man's car; luckily, while both cars were heavily damaged neither one of us was hurt, and I said to the man:

“This must be a sign that we should meet and be friends for  the rest of our lives.”

And he agreed with; that’s when I looked in my car and saw that the bottle of 75-year-old scotch I’d just bought was still intact, surely another sign, and I said:

“Let’s toast to the fact that we survived this crash.”

I handed him the bottle and he took a long swig and handed it back to me. I put the cap on and gave it back to him, and he asked if I was having any, and I replied:

"Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

And what if it did happen?

Like McDonald’s did last week, Starbucks is leaving Russia and closing all 130 of its locations after 15 years in business saying:

“[Starbucks] has made the decision to exit and no longer have a brand presence in the [Russian] market."

Starbucks will continue paying its nearly 2,000 employees in Russia for six months and help them find new jobs, but no more Big Macs and no Half-caf, Half-decaf, extra foam lattes for you, comrade.

Now this did happen … a co-worker was telling the story of how he’d been at Food Lion and when the cashier gave him his change, one of the dollars bills had this written on it:

“I suck dick for a dollar.”

Everyone chuckled, but I said:

“I always knew you were a cheap cocksucker.”

Again, why I still have a job, I don’t know.

Over there in the UK a Rainbow 50p coin will be minted to mark the 50th anniversary of the Pride movement in the country.

The coin features Pride in London’s values of Protest, Visibility, Unity, and Equality in rainbows with the Pride progression flag. This will be the first time the LGBTQ+ community has been celebrated on official UK coin, and it begs the question: where’s our coin America?

The US Soccer Federation reached an agreement to pay its men’s and women’s teams equally, making the American national governing body the first in the sport to promise both sexes matching money.

About effing time.

Ah, Iggy Goncalves, a native of Brazil, who worked for Elite Models before he started his own agency, Iggy Models, Inc, and founded Miami Beach Fitness. All well and good, but all that matters is: Would You Hit It?