I Ain't One To Gossip, But ...

Oh, Les Moonves! Again.

Cybill Shepherd has revealed that she too had been propositioned by disgraced former CBS bigwig, serial sexual predator, Les Moonves. She says:

“He was, well, he was telling me his wife didn't turn him on, some mistress didn't turn him on, and ... he says, 'Well, you know, why don't you let me take you home?' I said, 'No, I've got a ride.' And I had my car outside with a good friend of mine who is an off-duty LAPD officer."

Cybil said ‘No,’ and "quite shortly afterward," her show, Cybill, which was rather popular, was abruptly canceled; the show ended with a cliffhanger and the words "To be continued..." 

I guess that’s now and I, for one, hope Les Moonves gets everything he deserves and more.

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How is it that I’ve never heard this story?

Courtney Love has just been granted a restraining order against her one-time manager Sam Lutfi.  Both she and Lufti are being sued by her daughter Francis Bean’s ex-husband Isaiah Silva who claims that Courtney, Sam, and some actor named Ross Butler, along with two others, conspired to break into his house, beat him up, sexually batter him, and eventually murder him in order to steal his guitar.

To be fair, this mob of ALLEGED miscreants were only able to complete part of their mission; they did not murder Silva, but now Courtney is coming for Lufti, claiming he has been “unrelentingly” harassing her and her family. She asked for a restraining to protect herself, her sister and her daughter, so Lutfi is not allowed within 100 yards of any them.

Apparently, this all stems from the criminal acts of Love and Lufti, with Lufti claiming Love never paid her for services—breaking, entering, battery, sexual assault—that he rendered; and so, he has been harassing her with emails, texts and phone calls … for payment for a crime they committed.

Seriously, I wanna see this one on Judge Judy.

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Blister Palin is back in the news, on reality TV again because she knows no other way to make some coins to pay for all those babies she’s having. And so, she’s been appearing on MTV’s Teen Mom, though, saddest of all, Blister is far from a teen, but hey, coins are coins, and this trailer ain’t gonna pay for itself; Blister is getting some $250,000 to sell herself and her kids.

But now Blister has taken issue with how she’s being portrayed on a TV show about teen moms and has taken to Instagram to whine like her mama about how she works hard, loves her kids, Democrats are bad, and her mama isn’t some drunken wannabe sitting on a porch in Alaska looking at Russia …or something:

“If I cared what people thought of me, I wouldn’t be here today - let’s be real. I’ve stood strong and held it down for my kids since day one. No matter how bad @teenmom tries to portray my “life” ..... my babies, my family, my close friends - they know the TRUTH. I’m a pretty great mom, work my ass off, show up, and hustle everyday to give my kids a pretty great life. @mtv doesn’t want to talk about faith, show work ethic, or juggling three kids alone, they don’t want to show the humble process of starting over after a divorce, building a career, or any real life issues. All they want with my little segment each week is some fake fill-in Farrah Abraham/Jerry Springer BS, and it’s simply not true. Don’t get me wrong - I’ve said some mean things and learned a lot the last several months - but the life I’ve built for my kids is NOT sitting around talking about baby daddy drama. Every week is a continued disappointment with their inaccuracies and false narratives. I hate getting all emo on you guys but I’ve kept quiet for too long about it. Don’t believe everything you see on TV.”

Sounds like a long rant for a woman who has made most of her coins by selling herself, and those kids, to any reality show that will have her, but says she doesn’t care what people think about her. Clearly, the idiot apple doesn’t fall far from the Dumbass Tree.

Seriously, Blister, if it’s all too much, get a job off TV and see if you can support your kids.

Failing that, simply STFU.

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Tara Reid, who is to acting what Blister Palin is to motherhood and reality TV, is suing the Sharknado franchise producers—Asylum Entertainment and SYFY Media Productions—for unlawfully using her image and she wants, wait for it, $100 million.

For her image … on the side of a slot machine.

Reid claims that in “Performer Engagement Agreement” for Sharknado 5—there were four more before that—there was a clause stating that “in no event shall Performer’s likeness be used for any merchandising in association with alcohol, tobacco, gambling, hygiene, or sexual products without Performer’s prior written approval.”

No beer cans, no tampons, no dildoes, no slot machines! Ever!

As to why she’s suing for $100 million, Reid’s lawyers at Jacoby & Meyers explain:

“As such, the actions of the Defendants were malicious and oppressive and justify an award of punitive and exemplary damages in an amount sufficiently large to set a public example of deterrence, and in an amount no less than 100 million.”

Reid must be loopy as hell to think her likeness on anything is worth $100,000,000.

That’s a lot of zeroes for a zero.

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Former NBC News hack Megyn Kelly is still haggling with the network over how the rest of her contract, meaning her coins, is going to play out.

Kelly wants the money now, all of it, while NBC News wants to cash her out in installments so she won’t violate any nondisclosure agreements.

Really? What could Kelly possibly say? That NBC hires pseudo-racist, or at least racially insensitive news hosts? Or hosts who like to sexually harass women?

We already know that! But here’s the best part: Kelly says she wants all the coins now because “her phone is blowing up” and she is still deciding which network/hosting job to do following her departure from NBC.

Perhaps she’ll go back to Fox where she’ll fit in nicely.

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Now, let’s end with a good story … one of my favorite actors, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

As you may know, last year Louis-Dreyfus announced she had cancer, and her treatments were far worse than she ever let on. And, as is the state of journalism these days, the paparazzi were clamoring to get a photograph of Cancer Julia looking sick and haggard because, well, pigs, but Julia outsmarted them and really took back the power and control by posting her own pictures to social media:

“There were people with long lenses trying to get pictures of me looking ill, and I think I kind of burst the bubble on a lot of it because of my social-media presence.”

And not one of them made any coins on those pictures, which makes me love the story, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, even more.

She’s real, and she’s spectacular.

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Bobservations

Once again the media and our elected officials are offering their thoughts and prayers for dead Americans.

But remember, if we left six-year-olds get gunned down at school and do nothing about gun control, what makes anyone think we’ll do something about 15-year-olds who get slaughtered.

It’s not the American way.

PS As a reminder Florida Senator Marco Rubio has taken more than $3 million from the NRA; that averages out to just under $200,000 for every kid murdered in his state yesterday.

I hope it was worth it.

Blister Palin. Remember her? The girl who preached abstinence … got knocked up … had a baby out of wedlock … met another guy … had another baby out of wedlock …. married the father of that child …had another child …and is now divorcing? Yeah, her; but this isn’t about Blister hypocrisy, really … Blister is adding her two cents, which she can ill afford to spend, into the Mike Pence Adam Rippon story.

Remember Adam, an openly gay man, who said he wouldn’t meet with Mike Pence as an Olympian because of Pence’s longstanding hatred of anything and everything and everyone gay? Well, Blister took to her blog to write:

“The cool thing for athletes to do now, apparently, is to snub any invitations to the White House in order to take a stand against the Donald ______ administration. The most recent snub comes from an Olympic figure skater named Adam Rippon. Rippon is one of the first openly gay figure skaters to qualify for the Winter Olympics.”

No, Blister the cool thing is to stand up for yourself, to stand against homophobia, to stand up against liars and hypocrites be they Palin or Pence. Get with the program, Blister, you illiterate hypocritical backwoods uneducated moronic tool; Adam Rippon, a gay man, does not want to stand in line to shake the hand of a homophobe. Is that so hard to believe, you dumb bitch?

Seriously. You’re, once again, a single parent, with no prospects, no job, nothing going for you, but that Wasilla Hillbilly name and you think you can come for Adam Rippon?

You can’t. Take a seat and let the grownups talk.

Pastor George Nelson Gregory swears, swears I tell you, that he has an explanation for the man who was found completely naked and tied up in the front seat of his car: 

“I was counseling a young man with a drug problem.”

Gregory was hit with a criminal complaint of lewdness and indecent exposure for the incident after police were summoned by a resident who saw a man emerge naked from Gregory’s vehicle.

 “I have nothing to hide. I did nothing wrong.”

Gregory says the man did take off all his clothes and proposition, but he did nothing wrong.

Okurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ………..

It looks like the Fat Bastard can’t read, because _____ prefers his daily briefings read to him. Seriously. Does he get his diaper changed at the same time?

Leave it to a Republican and especially one with her lips pressed firmly to Fat Bastard sphincter, but Fox Hack Jeanine Pirro found an unusual target for the White House spousal abuse scandal surrounding former Trump aide Rob Porter … President Barack Obama.

“You want to stop a four-star general who is running the White House, who believes in chain of command, who makes a decision within 40 minutes, because you hate President _____? Find another scapegoat. You might want to look at the last president.”

Pirro offered no explanation for her stupidity but then, yeah, Fox News.

I guess it’s too much trouble to investigate a story …or use Spell Check … because that’s a real screenshot of a news channel that confused the site of the Winter Olympics—PyeongChang—with a Chinese restaurant.

Seriously.

Our National Keebler Elf, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, seems to think that one way to stem the opioid epidemic in this country is for people in pain to take aspirin:

 “I am operating on the assumption that this country prescribes too many opioids. People need to take some aspirin sometimes.”

He then cited White House Chief of Staff, John Kelly, who refused opioids after a minor surgery:

“He goes, ‘I’m not taking any drugs. But, I mean, a lot of people—you can get through these things.”

So, remember: car accident … broken back … heart surgery …aspirin. Jeff Sessions said so.

Jake Atlas, professional wrestler, has just come out as gay:

“In July 2015, I [told]my trainer that I would win the Rookie of the Year award.  … The award itself, of course, but the journey to achieving it is what I am most proud of. The commitment, sacrifice, and dedication to reach a goal I set out for myself proves that with hard work, it’s what you put out that determines what you receive. … Last, I am proud to fulfill my promise of coming out publicly about my sexuality to be a voice for those that struggle with this issue like I have for many, many years; to be a voice that reminds everyone in the same shoes that there is nothing you cannot achieve.”

Congrats Jake, and please accept as our gift to you a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven. But then …

Australian pro boxer and former rugby player Anthony Mundine, in an exit interview for the reality show I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, was asked about his homophobia and replied:

“If we were to live in a society, just like in Aboriginal culture, that homosexuality is forbidden and you do it and the consequences are capital punishment or death, you think you are going to do it? Or think twice about doing it?”

He took that further, if one can go further than killing the gays, to say gay people shouldn’t be allowed on TV because it would indoctrinate children:

“They are not going to be happy until they have primary school kids being gay. I talk the truth. It is the system. I don’t care if you are gay or not, it doesn’t worry me because the creator will judge you later. If you are going to be gay, do it behind closed doors, that is how it used to be in the olden days.”

I don’t care if you’re gay or not, but you shouldn’t be on TV because you’ll turn kids gay; by that logic, Mundine watched a lot of ignorant TV as a child; but then …

Hurley Haywood, professional race car driver, has come out as gay as a new autobiography, Hurley: From the Beginning, hits shelves. Hurley decided to come out after being interviewed by a high school senior who was also gay, and confessed to Haywood that he was having a tough time, saying:

“I have been bullied my entire life. Every morning when I wake up, I think about suicide. I have absolutely no respect for myself.”

Haywood gave the student some advice and the interview went on. A few years later, the student’s mother called Haywood and said:

“You don’t know me, but you gave my son an interview about racing, and you saved my son’s life.”

And that’s when he decided to come out himself:

 “Hearing from that mother — well, it was very emotional. And I thought, if my voice is strong enough to help one kid, it might help two kids, or five or a hundred.”

Proof that it is never to late to be tour own true self, and it’s never too late to help someone along their path.

Naturally, a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven are on their way to Haywood right now.

Sean Hannity, Fox News hack and _____ butt-boy, has claimed in the past that President Barack Obama was not born in this country, that he was in cahoots with the entire “liberal media,” and that under his watch, a Democratic National Committee staffer was killed because he supposedly gave emails to WikiLeaks. And now he’s saying that there are “secret sperm cells” in Obama’s official portrait:

“Controversy surrounding Kehinde Wiley’s wildly non-traditional portrait of the commander-in-chief broke out within minutes of its unveiling, with industry insiders claiming the artist secretly inserted his trademark technique — concealing images of sperm within his paintings.”

Except, you know, Hannity, Fox News, lies, and instantly removing the Tweets and any talk of “sperm cells” from his social media.

I don’t want to see anyone killed but …

At the Kruger National Park in South Africa this week a suspected poacher—name being withheld—was mauled to death and eaten by a pack of lions:

"It seems the victim was poaching in the game park when he was attacked and killed by lions. They ate his body, nearly all of it, and just left his head and some remains."—Limpopo police spokesman Moatshe Ngoepe.

Sorry; not sorry.

I am sorry that when I compiled my list of hot athletes at the Winter Olympics, I missed another bobsledder in USA athlete Hakeem Abdul-Saboor.

He could sled me any day of the week, and it would be Olympic!

Maybe It's A Conspiracy, But It's A Theory, Too

Now this is all a conspiracy theory, but given that it involves Alaska’s Most Famous White Trash Family, the Palins, well, maybe it’s true …

Last month, on that most holy of days, of course, Christmas Day, Mama Grizzly Bore™ celebrated the birth of daughter Blister’s most recent out-of-wedlock spawn, Sailor Grace. Or … did they?

Sailor Grace’s birth was announced  on December 24 by the Palins on Blister’s blog, and Mama Grizzly Bore™ herself followed up the very next day with a post on her Facebook page on the 25th showing her holding the newborn.

But … the photo Mama Grizzly Bore™ put up on Facebook was posted from New Orleans, so how is the MGB™ holding her brand new granddaughter in New Orleans the day after the child was born in Alaska? Well, MGB™ could have sent the photo to someone else, someone in New Orleans, and they posted it, or she was in New Orleans that day with the baby. Now, if she was there, exactly how did she have a picture of her and her new, one day old granddaughter?

Then, Alleged Baby Daddy, Dakota Meyer, posted this picture to his Twitter account.

Cute, no? But someone noticed something a little odd … something written on the tape holding Blister’s IV in place on her hand.

Right Wing Crooks did some photo enhancing to sharpen the image, then traced over the leftover dark spots to indicate what appeared to be written on the tape. They enhanced the photo and came up with this:

The first number definitely does not look like a 12 at all in either picture. The second looks like a 4, not a 20-anything. The 15 is clear. So, if this picture, of Blister holding her daughter is correct, Blister Palin gave birth on 11/4/2015 or perhaps earlier, and not on 12/24/2015 as she claims.

So, to start off, let’s go back to the miraculous conception … and misconception:

In March 2015, MGB™ announced the engagement of Blister to former Marine and Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer.  It was strange because the Palins, mother and daughter especially, are two of the biggest media whores online, posting pictures constantly of their lives and such, but after the engagement announcement, there was nothing; no Blister shopping for rings; no Blister trying on wedding gowns; no Blister doing that pre-wedding stuff anywhere, anyhow, ever.

Then, in May, just weeks before the wedding, Blister and Mama Grizzly Bore™ announced the wedding was called off and had people wondered why; two reasons emerged:

Dakota Meyer had been married before — which was ALLEGEDLY news to the Palins and they were devastated by the lie and called the whole thing off.

Blister announced she was pregnant and refused to name the father; she refused to name Dakota Meyer as the Daddy and he thought some hanky-panky was going on with Abstinence Mom and so the wedding was off.

So, let’s travel back, again, this time to around Valentine’s Day, when Blister posted two interesting photos to her Instagram page, both taken in Las Vegas ….

In one photo Blister is posing with her family and her best friend, Marina Lupas, an Anchorage-based “adult performer” in a Las Vegas Italian restaurant. In the second photo, a selfie, we see Blister and Marina in the ladies’ room of a Vegas restaurant or casino or something. In the caption accompanying that photo, Bristol says: 

“Reminder of the good old days.  The night before I ruined my life forever.  Worst Valentine’s Day ever.”

Huh? What? The theory at this point is that Blister actually conceived one night in Vegas after a night of partying and a hook-up with some random whomever and suddenly, Abstinence Mom found herself knocked up … AGAIN!

Now, if Blister was knocked up on February 14th, her baby would be due between the 9th and 21st of November.  When her engagement was announced in March — ALLEGEDLY to make the baby “legitimate” and, even better, the child of an American Hero … imagine how MGB™ would ride that for publicity — Blister was already one month pregnant by some random dude she found at a slot machine. 

And MGB™ knew if the public learned that Blister was knocked up as the result of a partying one-night stand in Vegas, her hopes of stardom and relevance, and riding the coattails of an American hero, would come to naught and so the plot was hatched; Bristol would document her pregnancy, complete with photos every month but she would post these photos to Instagram two months AFTER they were taken.  And so, in late November, when Blister posted a photo claiming her baby was due in 3 weeks — Christmas Eve — the baby had already been born.

So let’s go back to that photo MGB™ posted on Facebook of herself and Todd holding newborn Sailor one day after she was “born” — 24 December — in a photo stamped “New Orleans!”  The conspiracy is that the photo of MGB™, Todd, and Sailor was taken shortly after the baby was born on November 4th, and they held off posting it until the day after Blister claimed the baby was born when they were actually in New Orleans. 

And they did all this to make it appear the baby was Dakota Meyer’s child. If the baby were born in December, that would place conception AFTER the Blister-Dakota engagement was announced, thereby making it appear that either Blister and Dakota bumped uglies before the wedding night that never happened, or that the baby was conceived AFTER the marriage in May and just arrived a wee bit early.

And that’s the theory. I am not here to say it’s true, I’m not here to say it’s false; I am just here to deliver a rather interesting story.

Still, I could see the Palins doing this because, seriously, do they ever tell the truth about anything?

RightWingCrooks
Winning Democrats

It's Snarkurday!

It looks like Chris Brown’s new sober coach, Scott Disick, wasn’t doing his job very well because over the weekend Chris Brown — best known for beating Rihanna — ALLEGEDLY slugged another woman.

Liziane Gutierrez says Brown went ballistic and punched her in the eye after she snapped a cellphone photo of him at a private party in his hotel suite at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. Gutierrez says Brown was furious because she managed to slip the phone past his security guards.

Brown says he called the police himself, though, for what, I wonder? Cellphone usage? Being smarter than a security guard? Gutierrez said she was not hurt badly enough to be hospitalized though the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department is investigating the ALLEGED punch.

As for Chris Brown, his people are already in spin mode, with his mouthpiece saying that “making false accusations seems to be a pattern of behavior of Ms. Gutierrez. Whatever her motives, her statements are unequivocally untrue.’’

Blame the victim again, Brownie.

I guess Miranda Lambert is really annoyed by all the social media attention her ex-husband, Blake Shelton, is getting with his new piece, Gwen Stefani.

Seriously, that couple posts more selfies of their ALLEGED relationship than a teenage girl with her first boyfriend. So, Miranda decided to get in on the action too. And that took a while because from the moment Shelton and Lambert split there were all kinds of stories about the singers and the roadies and the McDonald’s counterboys and the guys at the car wash that Miranda was doing.

And so Miranda threw up a picture of herself and her new man, 27-year-old R&B singer named Anderson East, in matching floppy hats to Instagram with the caption “The snuggle is real” a not-so-subtle dig at Bwen or Sheltani or Glake or Stefton or whatever that duo is calling themselves these days—I suggested Media Whores but nobody picked that one.

Still, I guess that’s how you get back at your ex… posting “real” snuggles pictures on the interwebz.

Grow up, people.

So, after the holiday Ricky Martin gave all his fans a treat: a photo of him strolling around the pool in a mankini. And it was kinda hot, but then Ricky spoiled because he suffers from EHS … Excessive Hashtag Sickness.

Seriously, a hot picture of a hot gay man rocking a hot bikini and then he adds thirteen … thirteen … hashtags:

#islander #beachbum #livemylifebarefoot #saltyhair #sandyfeet #speedo #sunga #up #early #earlybird #newweek #newyear #2016

And I get them all, well, except for that one, and so, while cruising the interwebz and stopping in at D-Listed, I got myself edumacated as to what #sunga means.

The Sunga is a Brazilian-style swimsuit for men. But … sunga is also the name for a male version of the Brazilian wax, involving hair being waxed off the man’s balls, his butt crack, his  butt cheeks and his pubic region.

#TMI #Ricky

Abstinence educator, hillbilly and unwed single mother to two children from two different baby daddies, Blister Palin is in a pickle.

Blister had a little girl — ALLEGEDLY around Christmas … I have a whole conspiracy theory about that coming up on Monday — whom she named Sailor Grace Palin.

PALIN. Not her daddy’s name because Blister does not discuss her daughter’s paternity, unlike the countless interviews she gave where she mentioned Levi’s name every other second after he spermed her up.

And so, Sailor’s daddy, Dakota Meyer, is suing mad. And he has filed legal documents in which he claims he’s the biological father of Sailor and he wants a judge to award him joint legal and physical custody. Oh, and he wants child support from Abstinence Mommy.

And it gets uglier and dumber because Sailor’s Illiterate Trailer Park Grandma, Sarah ‘I Can’t Finish This Job Because It’s Too Hard’ Palin, AKA Mamma Grizzly Bore issued a statement about Dakota’s filing:

“For many months we have been trying to reach out to Dakota Myers [she can’t even spell the man’s name] and he has wanted nothing to do with either Bristol’s pregnancy or the baby.”

And Blister released her own statement:

“My values are such that a real American hero doesn’t ask for child support.” 

Values? Like spreading her legs every couple seconds whenever the mood strikes while preaching abstinence?

Tune in Monday; it’s good!

This could be worse than The Sony Email Hack of last year, so brace yourself … The Personal Assistants Are Talking! And Star Magazine has it all, entitled “Personal Assistants Tell All: Outrageous Celebrity Demands!” 

Let’s rip …

Kim Kardashian. Kim gets secret liposuction, but then she stashes away the oodles of fat sucked from her head in case she needs to rejuvenate her face or ass — and sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference — in what is called “lipobanking.” She even has her own private lipobank facility … it’s called Kim’s Ass Vault.

Jennifer Aniston. She hates to sweat and absolutely refuses to ever be sweaty, so she makes her assistants carry fans at all times and often hold fans in front of her. She also has assistants press ice cubes against her forehead all the time.

Jamie Dornan. Que escandalo, but Jamie loves to … wait for it … it’s so shocking … I can almost not type the word … needlepoint. He loves to whip out his, er, tapestry and “get to work” on planes or when he’s at home.

Justin Bieber. He’s been known to sleep with his personal staff, even with his maids because when you’re The Help you need to help get the Little Mister’s rocks off.

Julia Roberts. She holds on to her old costumes — especially the Pretty Woman hooker ensemble — and will “put [it] on for Danny” once a year or so.  Wait, does she wear it or does she make Danny wear it?

Lady Gaga. Gaga expects her assistants to be on call 24-7, and expects them to do everything for her. She called up one assistant in the middle of the night to change DVDs, because Gaga was too lazy to walk across the room and change it herself. Well, it’s hard to walk in twelve-inch platforms … unless you’re Elton John circa 1984.

Jessica Simpson. She rarely pays her bar tabs because she feels like the bar should buy her drinks because she’s Jessica Simpson and the bars just think she’s a drunk blond hooker.

Elton John. He’s really lazy, and he loves to be pushed around in a wheelchair. Huh, maybe he really is Lady Gaga? Or maybe his feet were ruined by those twelve-inch platforms?

And so, worse than the Sony Hack are the peccadilloes of the stars.

I’m still freaked out that Jamie Dornan needlepoints. Fifty Shades Of Grandma?