I Didn't Say It ...

Hillary Clinton, on the GOP contenders for the presidential nomination:

“I think it's worth noting that Republicans seem to be talking only about me.”

True, because they have nothing to offer.

I mean, unless you count being pro-war, pro-one-percent, anti-women, anti-gay, anti-immigration and they don’t want to admit to that!

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Paul Kuntzler, on picketing the White House April 17th, 1965 in what is believed to have been the first organized gay rights demonstration in American history:

"It was so revolutionary. It had never been done before anywhere in the world. We all wore coat and ties and we all had pseudonyms. I wasn’t scared. I was intrigued by the idea. But I was intimidated by all the photographers. I was only 23. And as they came across the street they started photographing us. Every time I approached the cameras, I hid behind my sign because I was unnerved by the whole thing. But I don’t think I was scared. I was very open and proud of being gay. People passed by in disbelief. It was written on their faces. It had never had happened before. My sign read, '15 million homosexuals protest federal treatment.' It reflected what I thought. We could not conceive then the astonishing progress we would eventually make as a community. The idea that gay people, gay men and women, could work openly in the government and serve in the military. It was beyond our imagination."

And so it began … it’s been a long time, but we’ve emerged from the Dark Ages.

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Giorgio Armani, on gay men and how they dress:

“A homosexual man is a man 100%. He does not need to dress homosexual. When homosexuality is exhibited to the extreme – to say, ‘Ah, you know I’m homosexual,’ – that has nothing to do with me. A man has to be a man. [And] I don’t like muscle boys. Not too much gym. I like somebody healthy, somebody solid, who looks after his body but doesn’t use his muscles too much.”

Take just a moment to see Armani’s designs for men, where he shows off their bodies in what can be perceived, by some, in very gay clothes.

Then look up Armani in his little bikini, or look up Armani’s boyfriend, who is exactly like what Armani says he doesn’t like.

Some folks should just shut up.

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Michael Savage, right wing talk show host  saying it isn’t not right to attack Clinton for her looks and then doing just that:

“She’s the nice woman, the TV ad shows her with gay couples — like that’s the most important thing on earth, the happy gay couple. She’s ‘hitting the road to earn your vote,’ she hasn’t driven a car in 20 years but she’s one of us, the pancake woman. I can look at it, the pantsuits — I don’t want to go into the weight thing, that’s not fair, because time and gravity is unfair to all of us, so let’s put that aside, let’s not talk about her looks. But her looks alone could sink the campaign. From the neck up, forget about the neck down. We’re not going to ridicule her physically, it happens to all — but the head up, I’m telling you, do you want to look at that for eight years? Do you really want to have that face staring at you for eight straight years? That frightening face?”

Yes, by all means, let’s pick a President based on their looks.

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Jon Stewart, on the latest GOP ‘Gotcha’ question about whether or not Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, John Kasich or Ted Cruz would attend a same-sex wedding:

"If you can't handle these questions, how are you going to handle … Putin … asking you to go to a gay wedding? This election is going to boil down to who do you trust ... to pick up the phone at 3 am and RSVP to a gay wedding."

It’s a way of trying to come off as gay friendly by saying you’d go to the wedding, but still maintaining that the wedding should never take place because of The Gay.

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Seth Meyers, to those GOP contenders like Walker and Rubio attending a same-sex wedding:

“Hey, we all want to just go to the reception. The open bar is the payment for sitting through the service. You sir, are a freeloader.”

Yeah, they won’t go to witness the ceremony, but they’d stop by for a free drinks and some Pigs-in-a-Blanket.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Those Kardastrophes ruin it for everyone. No, not Kim Kardastrophe or even Kanye Kardastrophe, I’m talking NorthSouthEastWest Kardastrophe ruining Fashion Week for babies! See, during this years’ New York Fashion Week, little North threw not one but two front-row hissy fits. Kim was so embarrassed; she took North backstage and left her there while she returned to her seat. What a wonderful mother!

Now, it’s not her fault; she has a lunatic for a father and a famewhore for a mother who thinks that the front-row at a fashion show is the best place for a toddler.

Well, now Nuclear Wintour has put her foot down and officially banned all children from runway shows by telling designers not to allow toddlers on the front row at any fashion show that she attends.

Now if only Anna would ban spoiled brats and porn stars, we’d never see Kim or Kanye at Fashion Week again!

This makes me laugh … the thief who stole Lupita Nyong’o‘s $150,000 pearl Oscar dress has apparently left it on a bathroom floor after he attempted to have it appraised and learned the pearls weren’t real. And then he actually called TMZ to say he took two of the pearls down to the Garment District in LA and learned they were fake so he returned the dress to the hotel.

To top it off, the people at Calvin Klein never said if the pearls were real or fake, and the only person who represented the orbs as real and valued the dress at $150K was Lupita’s stylist.

Francesco Costa, Women’s Creative Director of Calvin Klein, said this:

“Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not. The source awesomely adds, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

The thief was apparently all bent out of shape and said he called TMZ just to “expose Hollywood’s fake bullshit” but he just comes off looking like a moron thinking he was, what, going to pawn a $150,000 peal dress and not get nabbed.

Stupid is a stupid does.

Wow. Her dressing room hasn’t even been fumigated yet and already people are coming for Kelly Osborne’s Fashion Police gig.

The two front-runners, and I mean they’re a couple of heifers racing down a chute into the rodeo ring, are Khloe Kardastrophe and NeNe Leakes. Ryan Seacrest, who practically runs E! is said to be Team Khloe while UsWeekly says NeNe is in it to win it.

A source close to Khloe — it’s Khloe, really — says, “She was supposed to do it last time and passed. She may consider doing it again but the offer would have to be really high. It’s a lot of extra work for her.”

‘Extra work’? Bitch, please. Khloe has never had a job.

As for NeNe, rumor has it that shortly after The Great Joan Rivers™ passed away, NeNe’s name was bandied about as a replacement.

Again. Bitch, please. Kill the show already. It has been the same without JR.

And ... women who dress like this are going to be Fashion Police?

There’s always been the idea that the Kennedy’s are America’s Royal Family, and it’s kinda true … in that some of them are spoiled, self-indulgent, pampered, drunk in public and dumb.

Like Robert Kennedy Jr.’s underage daughter, Kyra, who made a scene when she was refused entry at club Lava at the Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona an upstate New York recently.

The 19-year-old made a drunken stink at the club when security didn’t accept her ID — a passport belonging to her 26-year-old half-sister, Kick.

One witness — and it could’a been Lohan because it was at a nightclub and that girl lives in nightclubs — said, “A security guard took Kick’s passport from Kyra and asked her to recite her birth date, and she didn’t know it. He then caught her trying to look up Kick’s birthday on Wikipedia on her phone. 

The security guard then refused to return the passport, and Kyra started shouting all this stuff, including, ‘I am a Kennedy, Google me. If you don’t let me in, the governor will be calling.’”

Lovely. Her grandfather would be so proud.

I just love a Bitter Old Queen Fight … and I don’t mean Carlos and I have a spat over breakfast about who didn’t do the laundry ... I mean a Global Bitter Old Queen Fight.

Y’all remember when Madge took a tumble at the BRIT Awards after a dancer tried to remove the cape she was wearing — to reveal her matador outfit — and he ended up heels over tits on the floor? Well, afterwards Madge admitted the cape was tied too tightly and the staging wasn’t exactly as they had rehearsed, but she thanked Giorgio Armani for making the cape.

But it seems like Giorgio had his bikini briefs on backwards because he took a swipe at Madge for no apparent reason, saying the bull fighter’s cape that took her down was meant to be closed with an easy-to-undo hook but she wanted it tied instead:

“Madonna, as we all know, is very difficult. That’s all there was to it.”

Okay, so Madge changed the closure on the cape, but she’s the one who took the fall. Why is Bitter Old Queen Giorgio throwing shade at Bitter Old Queen Madge? We all know she’s “very difficult”. What does that have to do with her fall though?

I think Giorgio is suggesting that when he wears the cape around his house and his scantily clad male dancers pull it off of him to reveal his toreador suit, he doesn’t fall down and go BOOM so why should she?

Sometimes these things write themselves …

Y’all remember Amy Pascal; the former Sony Pictures boss who emails were hacked and showed what a b***h she was and so she was kicked to the curb. Well, in this case ‘the curb’ was a downshift position to ‘on-the-lot producer’ in a smaller office once used by Seth Rogen.

But the movie is being delayed because of Rogan’s love of marijuana. The suite Pascal’s set to take over reeks of pot thanks to its most recent occupants, Rogen and his Interview directing partner Evan Goldberg.

The offices will be repainted in an attempt to get rid of the smell, as the ALLEGED stench had seeped into the flooring — some say they could smell it two floors away.

Rogan for his part is fuming — get it, fuming — about the story, at first calling it untrue, and then saying he was angry that they would call his pot ‘stench.’

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Let’s start with the funny …

Kanye thinks Kim is the most important celebrity of all time; which is odd because he thinks the same thing of himself, so I wonder how that plays out at home.

I’m a bigger star!

No! I’m a bigger star!

No! I’m a bigger star!

Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

But, since he’s said she’s the next Marilyn Monroe, is it any surprise that Kanye has cast the Kardastrophe in the film he’s writing — and hoping to direct — with American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis?

And is it any surprise that this, um, for lack of a better word, ‘film’ is going to be based on the ‘Yeezus’ album; the, ahem, narrative of Kanye’s life.

Now the good news is that Kanye won’t be in the movie, but Kim’s ass will be there, in high-def, 3D IMAX, I’m guessing.

I love a good catfight. 

And I love a good catfight when one of the cats is Anna Wintour even more. And now it seems as though Giorgio Armani has a beef with Wintour, and he said so himself.

Armani slammed Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour after she was noticeably missing from the front row of his Fall 2014 Womenswear show during Milan Fashion Week, though he kinda did so without mentioning her by name because you know Wintour will cut a bitch:

“There are some who prefer to snub the Giorgio Armani show and go to Paris. She took an airplane, dumped Mr. Armani and went to Paris.”

And he goes on:

“Why should I always be the moron [translating from an Italian expletive] to be penalized because of a person, who, for better or for worse, like or dislike it, is powerful? I feel penalized. She said she was sending her people. But if you go to see your dentist and he puts you in the hands of his assistant, what’s your reaction? They told me, ‘She went to see the [Armani] Prive in Paris; she has no time to see the ready-to-wear in Milan.’ She is influential and powerful. But, perhaps, I’m influential as well.”

That last remark is taken as a not-so-veiled threat to pull all future Armani ads from Vogue.

I dare say that Armani has forgotten that the Devil wears Prada, and probably sat in the front row at that show.

And while we’re talking fashion and divas and catfights, we’d be remiss not to dish a little Naomi. Campbell, that is.

As many of you know, but probably don’t ever watch — I know I don’t — Naomi is the Head Diva on The Face, the knock-off of rival Tyra Banks’ America’s Next Top Model. Well, it seems that co-hosts and judges and mentors keep leaving the show in droves because spending even a minute in the same room with Naomi requires battle wages … according to a “source” who is whispering about Campbell’s diva behavior and the quirky beauty tricks she uses:

“She’s taping her face skin back, which makes it look tighter, and hiding the evidence with her fabulous wigs. She’s a monster. She fought with everyone on set. She’s now not allowing anyone to do her makeup. She was taught by Kevyn Aucoin and thinks she knows better than everyone. She gets upset with them, then does it herself.”

Taping her face? Oy.

But then there is her list of demands, like banning show staffers from saying Hello until she says it first, and yet she refuses to talk to anyone unless they’re filming. That may be why original mentors, models Coco Rocha and Karolina Kurkova, left after just one season.

I’m trying to think who scares me more. Wintour or Campbell. I think Naomi would hurl a phone at my head, but Wintour could have me killed.

Or at least give me a bad seat at a fashion show, which might be worse.

A while back, former Grey’s Anatomy star, Katherine Heigl was using Kickstarter to ask the public for their financial help to get her film, Jenny’s Wedding, off the ground.

Now, while that’s bad enough, and sad enough, because why should I pay a celebrity to make a move and then go pay $13 to see it, eh?

And what makes it worse is that now Heigl is whining to the press about how little money she’s made in the past several years — since she walked away from her hit TV show and into a failed film career — and how she has children to feed.

Oh, and here’s the best part; while she’s all over the place trying to raise $150,000 to complete her indie movie, she wants you to know that she won’t pay anything for the project because she has better things to do with her money.

I guess she already knows it’ll flop like nearly all her movies do and she doesn’t want to risk her coins.

Chris Brown says he’s been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder [PTSD].

Yes he did.

Which you just know will be his excuse when he goes to trial for beating a fan in DC last year.

And he’s also saying he suffers from Bipolar disorder as well, and that’s the reason he stayed in anger management rehab beyond the original ninety days — though he first threw rocks at his mama’s car at the idea of a lengthy rehab.

But here’s the real deal: it wasn’t Chrissy’s idea, it was the judge’s order. His order also makes it clear that “[Brown] has responded well” to the treatment, though a probation officer said that Brown’s positive change in behavior “has occurred only recently”.

Like when he realized he might not get out.

So, Katy Perry is on a publicity tour to drum up business for her upcoming musical tour, after which she’ll probably do an interview tour where she talks about her musical tour.

Anyway, one of her main talking points was her notorious kiss with Miley Cyrus at Miley’s LA concert.

“I went to her show, which is amazing. It’s very colorful. She has this one part where it’s like a kiss cam. I just walked up to her to give her like a friendly girly kiss, you know, as girls do, and then she like tried to move her head and go deeper, and I pulled away. God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know. That tongue is so infamous!”

Funny. She goes up to kiss Miley, then kisses her, and then talks smack about the kiss.

It’s all a loop to keep your name in the news; do something even remotely shocking and then publicly discuss the hows and the whys of doing it.

Rather than, say, just not kissing Miley in the first place? But then where oh where would she get publicity? I mean, this is a woman who’s been banged by Russell Brand and John Mayer and she’s complaining  about Miley?

Uh huh.

So, Oksana Grigorieva banged Mel Gibson, had his child, and then sued him for money and called him a batterer and all that shiz.

I’m not saying it wasn’t true, but it does seem like Oksana had a plan all along.

Like being a celebrity. See, last Sunday night Oksana Grigorieva got all dressed up and went to the Vanity Fair Oscar party where she was stopped at the door and sent away.

I guess banging alcoholic anti-Semitic, homophobes doesn’t get you into A List parties like it did in the old days.

It seems that Chris Evans was not supposed to present at the Oscars on Sunday.

He showed up — asked at the last minute ALLEGEDLY — to present one of the night’s themed hero packages about superhero films, because Andrew Garfield, AKA Spiderman, pulled out that day.

Now, Garfield is saying that he  pulled out at the last minute because his girlfriend, Emma Stone, had a “longstanding family commitment” in Arizona. Now that seems kind of odd, because if it really was a longstanding commitment, why agree to appear at the Oscars at all?

Here’s the ALLEGEDLY real story:

Garfield was supposed to take the stage with Miles Scott — AKA Batkid after the city of San Francisco let him play superhero there — after the Academy y of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences made arrangements with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, to have Spiderman induct Batkid into the Superhero club.

Then in the middle of rehearsal,  with Batkid, Garfield decided he didn’t like his lines; he refused to go by the scrip and came up with his own lines. The producers felt the rewrites were not appropriate and ALLEGEDLY had a tantrum, stormed off and left Miles and his family shocked. The producers decided to cut the superhero initiation, but they paid for Miles to go to Disneyland.

If it’s true, I bet Batkid had a better time at Disney, and Captain America was a lot hotter to look at than Spiderman.

So, last week That Woman pimped out her daughter, Kim Kash Kow Kardastrophe, one more time, to have Kim appear at a “pre-Oscar event” called the Vienna Opera Ball. And Kim was there, like a high-class escort, because her pimp, That Woman, was getting paid $500,000 by Richard Lugner to have Kim on his arm.

I guess That Woman knows her days of whoring out at least one of her children are nearing an end so she’s pulling out all the stops.

Until …. After That Woman collected the 500K, and left Kim searching her pocketbook for cab fare, Kanye put his baby mama Kim Kardashian on notice: no more getting’ pimped by Mama.

A source — possibly Bruce, possibly Khloe, or possibly That Woman if there was a check involved — says:

“It’s not about the money. Kanye told her no more paid appearances. It was selling her soul and not worth it. How much more money does Kim need? It cheapens Kim and her brand to be paid to go to parties.”

And besides, he didn’t make a dime off the gig. And, where was Kanye while his baby mama was being whored out?

Uh huh.

Okay, so Lindsay starts this Sunday; you know, the Oprah Winfrey reality show docu-series about fresh from rehab, trying to stay sober, getting her career back, oh look, there’s a bar and a dime bag, Lindsay Lohan.

I’ll be watching.

See, what ALLEGEDLY started out as a reality show docu-series about Lindsay, post-rehab, turned into a wack-a-doo mess about a wacked-out, former cracktress who throws fits at the drop of a hat.

Take a look:

Now that the filming is over, the show is not just about Lindsay. It’s also about the filmmaker and the producers and the sober coaches, and even poor Oprah having to deal with that mess called Lohan.

Like I said, I’ll be watching.