This Is The Pits

Y'all have no doubt heard about the woman who was walking and texting in a mall, and fell into a fountain, right?
Well, did you know she is suing the mall because no one came to her aid and, as she pulled herself from the water, no doubt still texting, the security guards were laughing at her. And that's a lawsuit. And it's apparently, in her mind, a payday.
I sometimes wonder how people can, with a straight face, file these frivolous lawsuits, and then it hits me.
We are given the right to do so by our elected officials.
Case in point: Dennis Kucinich.
Congressman Dennis Kucinich is suing a U.S. House of Representatives cafeteria for $150,000 because, he claims, they sold him a veggie wrap that contained an unpitted olive, and it caused him dental damage.
The lawsuit was filed January 3rd, 2011, although, for some unexplainable reason, that's almost three years after the offending pit entered Kucinich's mouth. He says that he purchased the dangerous wrap in the House cafeteria "on or about" April 17, 2008 and that it "contained dangerous substances, namely an olive pit, that a consumer would not reasonably expect to find in the final product served."
Kucinich is suing for he dental work he had to endure as a result of the pit, as well as money for any future dental and medical expenses, for pain and suffering, and something called 'loss of enjoyment'.
Now, don't get me wrong. Biting into a sandwich and breaking a tooth, or teeth, on an olive pit is awful. And if it happened to me, I'd ask the company that made the sandwich to pay for my dental work. And, if they refused, I'd sue them, to pay for my dental work.
But Kucinich is going too far.
Loss of enjoyment? What's that mean? Is he now suddenly fearful of olives? Can he no longer have foods stir-fried in olive oil? Will it be impossible for him to watch a Popeye cartoon ever again, in fear of Olive Oyl popping up on screen? Will he run from a party if a Kalamata Tapenade is served?
Seriously. We're a nation of litigants who think anything and everything that happens to us, that hurts us or embarrasses us, is a lawsuit.
Grow up Texting Lady Of the Fountain.
And, you, too, Olive Eating Congressman.
Or, perhaps I'll sue for having to read about you two fools.

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