The Funny Papers

David Horsey, Nick Anderson, Bill Day, Clay Bennett, Jim Morin, John Cole, Joe Heller

Monday Ruminations

So, homophobic Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died over the weekend, and lotsa folks on the left rejoiced. I didn’t. He was a human being, obviously flawed, badly flawed, but he was a human being.

So, I am sorry he died, but I am not sorry he’s gone from the Supreme Court. And I am hoping that now we’ll get a less conservative, less judgmental, less hateful voice as a replacement.

I did love, though, how the GOP immediately announced that since Obama is his last year in office and since this an election year, that he should not nominate a new justice.  Imagine the vitriol the GOP would spew had the democrats suggested such a thing. 

Oh, and this was another time that Ted Cruz lied. He said no president, in an election year, has ever nominated a replacement justice for the court except … lie.

It’s happened numerous times but Ted Cruz doesn’t care about hat; he just acres about the lie. Imagine a Ted Crux hissy fit — emphasis on hissy — if he were president and the Congress vowed to block him at every turn. His little head would implode and he’d turn tail, and head back to Canada, whimpering all the way.

And speaking of DetesTed, he’s visiting our little corner of South Carolina today, just a couple of miles from Casa Bob y Carlos. And last week, a woman appeared at my job with leaflets and invitations to hear Cruz speak. She asked me to give them to my boss and then said, Take one for yourself, too.

I replied, No, thanks.

Aren’t you a Ted Cruz supporter?

No.

May I ask who you’re voting for?

No, you may not.

But not Ted Cruz? Why?

Well, look, this is where I work, so I’d rather keep the conversation away from politics, thank you.

Oh, I was just asking …

Then I’ll tell you …

And off I went into a tear about Ted Cruz lies, about Ben Carson leaving the race so his people could scoop up those voters, about his mailer in Iowa suggesting people would be ticketed with voting violations if they didn’t show up to caucus. He lies, and we don’t need that as president.

I told her that I was a legally happily married gay man and that Ted Cruz has vowed to make same-sex marriage illegal and why would I vote for anyone who seeks to deny me equality and to turn back the clock on LGBT rights?

Thankyouverymuch.

Now, more pleasant thoughts …

Carlos and I are not big on the made-up holiday of Valentine’s Day … sorry Hallmark.

I don’t need a special day to tell Carlos that I love him, or buy him chocolates or flowers or whatever it is they’re selling. I can, and do, do that every chance I get.

But Carlos had a Valentine’s Day treat for us — mostly because it was one night only, on the fourteenth — so last night we went out to our local Fine Arts Center to see The Danish String Quartet, with Decoda with jazz vocalist and Sarah Elizabeth Charles.

The Danish String Quartet — four hotties …  violinist Frederik Øland, violinist Rune Tonsgaard, viola player Asbjørn Nørgaard, and cellist Fredrik Sjölin … with gorgeous instruments — appeared at the Louvre in Paris last Thursday and their next stop was, yes, Camden, South Carolina, before heading up to Lincoln Center for a performance.

How’s that for a cool tour schedule. Paris, Camden, New York.

And they were so good, first appearing onstage with Decoda — more on them — and then finishing out the show with a non-stop, one hour performance of Beethoven’s No. 16 in F Minor. As a musician himself, Carlos was amazed that they played non-stop for that long, even though it flew by.

We also saw Decoda, a large group of musicians who perform together, or in smaller groupings — we had six of them last night … cellist Claire Bryant, violinists Owen Dalby and Meena Bhasin, cellist Kris Saebo, bassoonist Brad Balliett and jazz vocalist Sarah Elizabeth Charles — who formed in the Ensemble ACJW fellowship program, created by Carnegie Hall, The Juilliard School and Carnegie Hall’s Weill Music Institute.

They appear quite often in South Carolina and at our Fine Arts Center, and just last week held a week-long seminar and classes at the Lee Correctional Institution — yes, a prison — giving inmates help in writing and performing music as a way of expression.

They even performed one of the inmate’s pieces, Ecclesiasts, done as a spoken word price with the ensemble, though it was written as a rap by the author.

And the program ended with both groups onstage to perform a traditional Danish folk song … a very cool, very civilized, very lovely, way to spend the day …

Random Musings

I hate cancer. I lost my Mom to cancer, and lost my sister to cancer. Then a few months ago my Dad called to tell me he’s been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

Yay! Cancer again!

My Dad had told me that during a routine exam, his PSA [prostate-specific antigen] levels were at ten; most healthy men have levels under 4 nanograms per milliliter. Now, my Dad is not one to take things sitting down, so with his doctor’s advice, they decided to watch the levels and recheck them in a few months.

That time they were up to 16; not good. So, again, on doctor’s advice, Dad started a regimen of therapies and a scheduled retest in six months.

Six months is this month.

Dad called me on Monday to tell me his PSA levels were at … one.

One! If only "one" was a multisyllabic word so I could put a ‘f**k’ in the middle of it.

But at least I could breathe, and my Dad could breathe, too. He’ll continue with his therapies and they’ll monitor him again in four months, and then, if the levels are still down, go from there.

I do love good news.

Speaking of which … following in the footsteps of NBC, Macy’s corporation has also fired Donald [t]Rump over those derogatory remarks he made about immigrants.

Univision. NBC. Macy’s. Now, if the GOP voters can fire him, too, this would be really great.

[photo source]

Over the last week, more than 35 million people have super imposed rainbows over their Facebook profile pictures using a free tool provided by the company.

A lot of famous folk, including Russell Simmons, California Attorney General Kamala Harris, and Leonardo DiCaprio, changed their profiles, but one person was not having it.

Vitaliy Milonov, the Russian politician responsible for the country’s “gay propaganda” laws, has said Facebook should be banned for allowing members to add a rainbow flag to their profile pictures.

Facebook. Banned. That little self-loathing closeted queer is on a tear, isn’t he?A 

Philadelphia diner recently changed the names of some items on their brunch menu and, well, could not keep up with the demand.

After the Supreme Court ruled that marriage is a legal right for all Americans, regardless of the couple’s gender composition, Justice Antonin Scalia was just as pissy and bitchy as he could be. So, Sam’s Morning Glory Diner in Philly opted to change the names of some of their breakfast entrées:

“Antonin Scalia is a Douche,” an egg dish with vegetables, cheese, and andouille sausage sold out before 10 AM on Sunday, while “The Supreme Court Finally Got It Right” quiches, available with or without prosciutto, were gone in less time than that.

Carol Mickey, who owns the restaurant, says:

“Not one single person complained. The atmosphere in [the diner] was really wonderful. People were just loving saying it! ‘I’ll have the Scalia is a Douche, please.’”

Loving it here, too.

This is Josh McAree, a model whose picture I stumbled across. There aren’t many men who could pull of a bun, much less a top knot, but, we’ll, he’s really rocking it.

Hair up or down, in a suit, or some jeans. Hot. Steamy, Sultry.

[photographed by Ivan Avila]

Carlos plays in our local community band, and tomorrow night he’ll be performing at a Fourth of July function in town, so he’s been rehearsing and rehearsing all those patriotic tunes.

I, however, don’t help much, because every time he play “You’re a Grand Old Flag,” I come marching into the office singing:

♪ ♫ You’re a grand old fag

You’re a high-flying fag

And forever in peace may you wave♪♫

I’m trying to get Ozzo, Tuxedo, MaxGoldberg and Consuelo to march through the room with me, but so far I’m having no luck.

[photo source]

A South Dakota county clerk has decided to oppose same-sex marriage, not by setting herself ablaze, but in an equally stupid way: she wants to marry her dog.

Seriously, how do we get from the idea of a same-couple to the idea that people will marry animals?

Are religious wingnut republican conservative asshats really that stupid?

Rhetorical question.

[photo source]

UPDATE:

Rick Jones, that Utah gay man who reported being gay-bashed, forced to drink bleach, and having the words “Die fag” carved into his skin has been revealed to be a sick and twisted liar.

He did it to himself.

Attorneys for Jones made the admission last week to the sheriff’s office in Millard County:

“Our client is responsible for all of the incidents and that would include the cutting of his own skin as well as his reports of burglary and vandalism at his home and his family business.”

The lawyers also said this was not a hoax, but a cry for help Jones says some family member don’t like him being a ‘mo.

Boo-effing-hoo. Grow a pair, Ricky. Man up, be gay and deal with it, because with your giant lie, you now make every other person who was truly gay bashed seem a little less reliable. i know how hard it is to come out, but to do this to yourself, and then ask for sympathy and money?

Get help, Ricky. And then just STFU.

Oh, and the Jones’ family announced they will not accept the nearly $12,000 raised through a GoFundMe campaign to pay his medical expenses.

Ya think?

Justice Antonin Scalia Should Not Be Part Of Any LGBT Equality Rulings

So here we are, just before Christmas, and the Supreme Court has both the Defense of Marriage Act [DOMA] and Prop H8 in its crosshairs. This could be big for the marriage equality advocates, no? Except we have Antonin Scalia, a justice on the court, who has made it quite clear time and again that The Gays don't deserve no stinking equality.

There's no denying that Justice Scalia is the Supreme Court’s most outspoken opponent of gay rights; he led the dissent to the two major gay rights decisions of his tenure on the Court, the decisions to strike down Texas’ criminal sodomy law and to overturn Colorado’s ban on local anti-discrimination measures. And, when he's not judging us from the bench he's judging us in his speech:

• He has compared bans on homosexuality to bans on murder: Yesterday, Scalia asked a gay law student, “If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder? Can we have it against other things?” He says he wasn't comparing the two, but isn't that exactly what he was doing?
•  He has compared bans on homosexuality to bans on polygamy and animal cruelty: In his dissent to the Colorado case, Romer v. Evans, Scalia wrote, “But I had thought that one could consider certain conduct reprehensible--murder, for example, or polygamy, or cruelty to animals--and could exhibit even 'animus' toward such conduct. Surely that is the only sort of ‘animus’ at issue here: moral disapproval of homosexual conduct, the same sort of moral disapproval that produced the centuries old criminal laws that we held constitutional in Bowers.” For the record, homosexuality is not a "conduct" it's an orientation. 
• He defends employment and housing discrimination: In his dissent to Lawrence v Texas, Scalia went even further, justifying all kinds of discrimination against gays and lesbians: “Many Americans do not want persons who openly engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scoutmasters for their children, as teachers in their children’s schools, or as boarders in their home. They view this as protecting themselves and their families from a lifestyle that they believe to be immoral and destructive. The Court views it as ‘discrimination’ which it is the function of our judgments to deter.” And what about folks who wish to protect themselves from people like Scalia? The more I read about Scalia, the last word that I think should be associated with him is "justice". 
• He says decision on “homosexual sodomy” was “easy” because it's justified by long history of anti-gay discrimination: In a talk at the American Enterprise Institute earlier this year, Scalia dismissed decisions on abortion, the death penalty and “homosexual sodomy” as “easy”: “The death penalty? Give me a break. It’s easy. Abortion? Absolutely easy. Nobody ever thought the Constitution prevented restrictions on abortion,” he said. “Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years, it was criminal in every state.”
• He says domestic partners have no more rights than “long time roommates”:  In his dissent in Romer, Scalia dismissed the idea that a law banning benefits for same-sex domestic partners would be discriminatory, saying the law “would prevent the State or any municipality from making death benefit payments to the ‘life partner’ of a homosexual when it does not make such payments to the long time roommate of a nonhomosexual employee.” All the more reason he should recuse himself from hearing DOMA and Prop H8 issues; his mind, or lack thereof, is already made up.
• He says gay rights are a concern of “the elite”: In his Romer dissent, Scalia lashes out at the majority that has upheld gay rights: “This Court has no business imposing upon all Americans the resolution favored by the elite class from which the Members of this institution are selected, pronouncing that 'animosity' toward homosexuality is evil. “ Except the fact that The Gays are all Americans, elite to lower class, highly-educated to tradesmen; blue collar, white collar; priest collar. It isn't an elitist issue, it's an inequality issue, and that should concern every one.
• He accuses those who disagree with him of supporting the “homosexual agenda”: Lifting a talking point straight from the far right, Scalia accused the majority in Lawrence of being in the thrall of the “homosexual agenda”: “Today’s opinion is the product of a Court, which is the product of a law-profession culture, that has largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda, by which I mean the agenda promoted by some homosexual activists directed at eliminating the moral opprobrium that has traditionally attached to homosexual conduct.” As a lifelong gay man, I would like someone, anyone, to show me what the Gay Agenda is, exactly. I mean, I think its equality, but apparently Scalia thinks it's something sinister.

With his every word, his every decision, it's quite clear that Justice Scalia has already made his mind up on the any issue regarding LGBT people. We deserve discrimination in housing and employment and, well, walking down the street. We're no better than murderers or cat beaters. He's said it, and said it again, it's "easy" to vote against equality.

Scalia needs to recuse himself from ever being part of any discussion on LGBT rights, marriage equality, LGBT discrimination, because his mind is already closed.

source

I Didn't Say It....

True Blood's Ryan Kwanten, on his gay brother:

"My youngest brother, Lloyd, is gay. He’s a doctor, so he got every ounce of intelligence in the family. He was probably about 18 when he came out, and I can wholeheartedly tell you that from the day that he did, he was a changed man for the better. The sheer beauty of who he is really came through...There was never an issue (with my family). My parents always encouraged an open channel of communication, so we talked about that and everything else. That’s something lacking in a lot of modern-day families — just talking. It’s almost a lost art form."

First off: Helloooooooooo. But I digress.

This is how it should be.

When Portia de Rossi Degeneres was on Oprah a couple of weeks back, all she said she hoped for was that when someone came out, to family or friends, the response would be "So what?"
I long for the day when coming out won't be a big deal, it will just be.


Indiana Republican and Asshat, Mike Pence, on DADT:

"I would still have a problem with it because there’s no question to mainstream homosexuality within active duty military would have an impact on unit cohesion would have an impact on recruitment, an impact on readiness, that’s been established and written about and chronicled for many many years and I believe we need to continue to keep the focus of our military on the mission of the military. Don’t ask don’t tell was a compromise back in the early 90s, it’s been a successful compromise we ought to leave it like it is and and not run the risk of impacting the readiness of our military or recruitment for our military because of an effort to advance some liberal domestic social agenda."

I have a problem with someone who isn't in the military speaking for the military via their own homophobia.

People in the military said repealing DADT won't have any effect on unit cohesion, but Mike Pence, who is not in the military, disagrees.
It's not DADT he's against, it's equality in any way shape or form for the LGBT community.

Mama Grizzly Bore, on the Obama's and America:

"Certainly his wife expressed this view when she said during the 2008 campaign that she had never felt proud of her country until her husband started winning elections. In retrospect, I guess this shouldn't surprise us, since both of them spent almost two decades in the pews of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright's church listening to his rants against America and white people."

Leave it to Mama Grizzly Bore to bring up a two-year old subject and treat it as though it's fresh and new.

Juts shows that she has nothing new to offer.

Except homophobe-spewing daughters.

Quincy Jones, to a reporter who compared Kanye West to him:

"How man? No way. Did he write for a symphony orchestra? Does he write for a jazz orchestra? Come on, man. He’s just a rapper. There’s no comparison. I’m not putting him down or making a judgement or anything, but we come from two different sides of the planet. I spent 28 years learning my first skill. I don’t rap. It’s not the same thing. A producer has to have some sort of skills that enable him to be a producer. It’s totally different to know what to do with 16 woodwinds you know from piccolos down to bass clarinet. It’s a whole different mindset. No comparison. None."

I agree.

Maybe when Kanye has about fifty years or so under his belt and has accomplished even half of what Jones has accomplished, will he be any sort of equal.

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, on how the 14th Amendment was not written with the intent of granting equal protection to ALL Americans:

“The due process clause has been distorted so it’s no longer a guarantee of process but a guarantee of liberty. But some of the liberties the Supreme Court has found to be protected by that word - liberty - nobody thought constituted a liberty when the 14th Amendment was adopted. Homosexual sodomy? It was criminal in all the states. Abortion? It was criminal in all the states.” “The way to change the Constitution is through amendments approved by the people, not by judges altering the meaning of its words.”

This just sends shivers down my spine.

Justice?

Hardly.

Apparently Scalia doesn't buy into the concept of a living Constitution that changes with time.

I, apparently, don't buy into the concept of Antonin Scalia.