The Funny Papers

Matt Davies, Michael de Adder, Deb Milbrath, John Cole, Mike Smith, Clay Bennett, RJ Matson, Steve Breen, Jack Ohman, Gary Varvel, Ed Hall, Nick Anderson,

Bobservations

Carlos and I love to cook, though I will say, having worked in hotels and such, and bars and such, in the past, and knowing some really great chefs, I tend to be the better cook in the house.

Part of Carlos problem is what I call the Coco Chanel problem. As Coco once advised women:

“Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off. It is always better to be underdressed.”

I had to explain this to Carlos the other night because he made a delicious Salmon for dinner but there was something about the rice:

“What spices are in this?”

“Cumin. Curry. Turmeric, Coriander.”

“Oh.”

“Paprika. Garlic Powder. Salt, Pepper.”

“OH!”

“Chipotle Powder. Chili Powder. Garam Masala. A little bit of Cinnamon. And Five Spice. I think that’s it.”

Carlos is now limited to Five Spices…Salt, Pepper, and three others, lest I sic the ghost of Coco on him.

The Great Tuxedo has had a week. He’s getting on in years—he’s seventeen or eighteen—and has been having some issues with his hind legs being unsteady. A trip to the vet and a few tests and we’ll see if it’s diabetes—not good, because it requires two shots per day—or arthritis—not the best because there is no real treatment for feline arthritis—or a thyroid issue, which can be helped by medication. But other than that he’s in good health and a happy cat, so we’ll see how this plays out.

We first noticed his leg issues because he’s always been a jumper—he used to jump from  the clothes hamper in the closet to one of the high shelf’s, a leap of about six feet straight up, and now he has difficulty getting onto a chair.

Sidenote: he was, as usual, the hit of the vet’s office because he’s just so easy going getting poked and prodded, and still giving hugs to the vet and the technicians. The only downside is the car ride, which he hates, and lets us know by howling like a mad man.

Good times.

San Antonio doesn’t have Thing #45—thanks Todd—to push around anymore.  And you cannot throw things at him either …at least for the time being.

Louis Tussaud’s Waxworks has moved the wax figure of the twice-impeached, one-term loser to a storage—much like what the American people did in November 20202—because some museum visitors were punching and hitting the wax dummy.

Not to be confused with the actual lard dummy.

Dear Jeopardy: Just say No to Katie Couric hosting the show. Just say No to “Dr,” Oz. hosting the show.

Bring back Mike Richards.

After the last two weeks, and two more shootings that left 18 Americans dead, President Biden called to reinstate the US ban on assault weapons.

Biden said he did not “need to wait another minute, let alone an hour, to take common sense steps that will save lives in the future and to urge my colleagues in the House and Senate to act. We can ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines.”

These are not hunting weapons, or protection weapon, these are weapons used to murder. No one, and I don’t care who you are, no one needs these weapons.

Customers at Legends Diner in Denton, Texas are met with a new pink sign on the door when they visit the breakfast spot:

“Our new surcharge: $50 if I have to explain why masks are mandatory. $75 if I have to hear why you disagree.”

Co-owners Wayne and Kat LaCombe are asking their customers and employees to continue to wear masks even though the mandate lifted in Texas on March 10 because, as Wayne says, he cannot afford to get the virus and keep his business going.

See, that’s how it works.

Sorry, but  I'm more afraid of white people with weapons of war than I am of migrants at our border seeking a better life.

Rightwingnut lawyer Sidney Powell, who tried suing to hand the election to Thing #45 and ended up being sued by Dominion Voting Systems for defamation, is now claiming she is not guilty because "reasonable reasonable people wouldn’t have believed" her assertions of fraud, even though she filed case after case with the same idiotic assertion.

Now, she as an attorney, representing her client, says she was just stating her “opinion.”

Nice try, Kraken.

Congressional Democrats and Washington DC's mayor made their case for statehood for the US capital, proclaiming the disenfranchisement of DC residents as one of the last glaring violations of American civil rights.

More than 712,000 people live in the District of Columbia; a populations greater than both Wyoming and Vermont, and comparable to two others. Its residents fight and die in US wars and face a higher federal tax burden than people in the 50 states, but while Washingtonians can cast ballots in presidential elections, they are denied votes in Congress.

Taxation without representation much? The GQP is against the idea because DC is mostly Democrats, and the GQP wants to continue suppressing votes especially given that DC statehood would give Democrats three more  Congressional seats. See, it’s not about doing what’s right for Americans in DC for the GQP, it’s about cheating to win elections.

Last fall the US Congress passed the National Suicide Hotline Designation Act to establish a toll-free number with assistance for those with mental health crises.

Sounds like a good idea, but then why did the US Conference of Catholic Bishops quietly lobby against the legislation.

It's because it contained special funding for LGBTQ+ support, and a group of bishops said that, while “all persons must be protected from violence … codifying the classifications ‘sexual orientation’ and ‘gender identity’" was problematic.

Cuz, you know, if anyone in the LGBTQ+ community kills themselves that should be okay. Or at least so says a group of closeted homosexual child raping money grabbing hypocritical fuckmonkeys.

I don’t know much about Fredrik Ericsson except that he is Swedish and has a stunning face …

… and he looks good out of his clothes …

… and good in them, too.