I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

So, Michael Strahan, ex-football player and co-host of Live with Kelly and Michael, and his fiancé of seven years have split up … and not without the drama, you know, because Nicole, formerly married to Eddie Murphy, knows all about divorce, and she announced the split mere hours before Strahan’s induction into the NFL Hall of Fame.

Sources say Nicole wanted to dampen Strahan's weekend because the breakup occurred when Michael wouldn’t marry Nicole without a prenup — she took Eddie for a load of dough in that divorce and maybe Michael was being cautious?

Other sources say Nicole is a woman scorned because she ALLEGEDLY got wind that Michael might be dating another woman in early July and started investigating and when she was convinced it was true she went public with it instantly … the night he was inducted to the Hall of Fame.

Shade.

Nicole insists her timing wasn’t out of revenge, rather a total coincidence because that’s when she knew for sure. It just happened to come precisely when Michael was getting the greatest honor of his career.

Shady.

I’ve heard this story many times before, but this new wrinkle is so high-larious it bears talking about.

Lindsay Lohan has had more than her fair share of drama, including six, or is it seven, court-ordered visits to rehab, many arrests and several days spent in jail, so now she wants to put pen to paper and tell her side of the story because , well, girl needs coins.

Lohan has been holding meetings — apparently on yachts and in night clubs because that’s the only place anyone ever sees her — with publishing houses to discuss her tell-all book, and promised not to hold back on any detail, like dishing about that F**k Buddy List, and her drug use, her alcohol addiction, her need to lie, her criminal past, her rehab stays, her wack-a-doo family, and, oh yeah, her career.

But the high-larious part is that Lindsay knows she cannot actually write a whole book — it’s unclear if she could even read a whole book — and has let it slip that she would like her book ghostwritten by either Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James or Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling.

Lindsay Lohan actually thinks either one of these writers would ghostwrite the memoirs of a drug addicted has-been? High-larious, I say, high-larious.

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of LA County Jail?

Fifty Shades of Cray Cray?

This breaks my heart … sarcasm … but Kate Gosselin and her bodyguard/lover/confidante Steve Neild have split up.

Back in 2008, TLC, hired Steve to protect the Gosselin 8, AKA Kate’s paycheck, while filming of the craptastic Jon & Kate Plus 8, but Kate wanted Steve all to herself because, well, famewhore and needy bitch.

And that’s when the rumors that Kate and Steve were doing the nasty started, and when Kate’s marriage fell apart … cheating does that sometimes. After that, Kate and Steve were inseparable, and he spent more time “guarding” her body than watching the children, even his own kids. In fact, as recently as last Spring Kate and Steve shared a hotel room while she filmed Celebrity Apprentice and the kids were … where were the kids? Kate? Kate? Anyone?

And I guess that’s what finally ticked off Steve’s wife — oh, yeah, he’s married — Gina, who, after watching Kate and Steve globetrot and hold hands and act all gooey in public for six years, decided it was time to give him an ultimatum: Kate or her.

And Steve dumped Kate faster than her TV audience when they realized she’s a famewhoring horrible mother.

Karma.Bitch.

So, I still giggle at the idea of Orlando Bloom throwing a punch at Justin Bieber in that Ibiza nightclub, but what brings a smile to my face is the fact that most people, and many celebrities, applauded the Bieber Almost-Smackdown.

A bunch of famous whores, including Leonardo DiCaprio, Diddy and Lindsay Lohan — well, famous and whores — were at Cipriani’s that night when the star of the football team tried to smack down the boy cheerleader, and they all took their places on Team Orly.

A witness tells it like this:

“Justin said something when he came in which was aimed at Orlando, who then jumped onto a sofa to try and get at Justin. When Orlando punched Bieber, everyone started clapping. Lindsay was laughing. It was amazing. The whole table he and DiCaprio were on were clapping. Afterwards, I don’t know if people were congratulating Orlando or trying to calm him down. When security saw that when they got separated, Bieber and Orlando tried to punch each other again, security were like, ‘Bieber came, Bieber provoked this fight’, so they took his hands behind his back and took him away from the restaurant.”

Leo actually clapped after seeing the missed punch — even though rumor has it he also bedded Orlando’s ex-wife Miranda Kerr — and Lindsay Lohan laughed.

Here’s the deal: if Lindsay Lohan thinks you’re a pathetic loser, you’re a pathetic loser. Justin.

And that’s what makes me laugh.

Lord, I love a feud, especially between a dancer and a zaftig Scientologist.

It seems Dancing With The Stars [?] resident dancing machine Maksim Chmerkovskiy threw some mighty shade at his former pal Kirstie Alley on an episode of Watch What Happens Live — where most great feuds star … ask a housewife — during a call-in segment when he was asked if Kirstie ever tried to indoctrinate him into Scientology.

He said No, but then host Andy Cohen asked if he gets along well with Kirstie and Maks said:

“Until recently. She stopped getting along with me. I think the world of her. I’m not judging people by their religion. I’m Jewish, and you know, I don’t really believe in science fiction, but whatever. We had a great relationship. I thought we had a great relationship, and if it was something else or not, I don’t know. But I got a message that now that I’m associating with other people that she can’t be associated with, I am no longer to be spoken with, and sorry, but that is what it is.”

Now, Maks didn’t name names but it was clear he was speaking about former DWTS alum, and former Scientologist, and former Alley friend, Leah Remini, who escaped Scientology and has been the subject of Alley’s scorn and twitter-fight ever since.

But why is Maks suddenly so friendly with Leah and not with Kirstie? Glad you asked.

Well, he is ALLEGEDLY banging JLo like a sledgehammer and JLo is besties with Leah. So, to make JLo happy, and keep that ass within reach, he’s moved on from Kirstie to Leah.

Sounds about right. Lotsa folks would shun their families to bump uglies with JLo; hell, lotsa folks have.

And let’s end with a sweet story about a celebrity …

Chris Pratt, star of the new mega-hit Guardians of the Galaxy recently gave an interview where he spoke about his son with wife Anna Fairs being born premature and how much it scared him that the boy might not live.

So, now Chris is hoping that his GotG Star-Lord character becomes a hero to children because he wants to dress up as Star-Lord to visit sick kids in the hospital. And he's already planned on doing so, in character:

 “I stole the jacket and some of the wardrobe so that, if this movie comes out and does what everyone hopes it can, I can follow the example of someone — say, like, a Russell Wilson [QB for the Seattle Seahawks] – and go visit kids. If it was a big enough movie to where it would mean something to a kid who’s sick in the hospital for Peter Quill or Star-Lord to come visit them, I’ll do that. … Right now, it means high profile, cool jobs coming up, big press tour, and all the excitement of it all. But none of that really means anything. The coolest things would be that my son can one day see this, and that maybe I can go affect some kids in a positive way; be a good role model for them.”

Excuse me; I have something in my eye ….

Sidenote:

If I get sick, could someone have Chris come to my house dressed like this:

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.......

I hate when people say bad things about my friends, and I am one to speak up when it happens. So, ALLEGEDLY, is former Who's The Boss? star Tony Danza.

Trouble is, Tony took aim at a priest in regards to his friend. And, Tony took aim at the priest during his friend's funeral.

I know!

Danza was ALLEGEDLY very tense during the November 11th ceremony memorializing writer Philip Carlo, and right in the middle of the eulogy, he, again, ALLEGEDLY out on the priest.

A witness, and by witness, I mean gravedigger, says:

"Tony, who was one of Carlo's closest friends, walked right up to the priest and said angrily, 'Excuse me, but this is not about you. It's supposed to be about my friend, and if you can't do that, maybe you should let someone else speak!'"

The priest, naturally, was visibly disturbed by Danza's outburst.

The source goes on:

"People were stunned, while the priest was visibly shaken. He tried talking about Carlo before quickly wrapping things up. Danza took over and eulogized Carlo with memories from their younger days."

I guess if you're a friend of Danza's, it's to the grave and beyond.

I hate to be cynical, but he was a professional athlete, and isn't this what they do in the off-season.

Eva Longoria Parker, soon to nix the Parker, has filed for divorce from her husband, Tony "the Cheater"Parker, amid ALLEGATIONS that he cheated on her....with the wife of a friend.

Uh huh, I know.

It seems that Eva ALLEGEDLY discovered hundreds of sexy text messages between Tony Parker and Erin Barry, the wife of Parker's former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry, and that was the straw that broke the Desperate Housewife's back.

And, while she was furious, she had apparently decided to make the announcement of their split alongside her husband, at the same press conference, but changed her mind because, as they say, "Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned."

Eva decided to file early, leaving Tony out in the cold, facing the media. And Eva didn't stop at simply announcing the split, she was also the one who told of the ALLEGED affair.

Now, to give Tony's side, he denies any affair with Barry, though he does admit to having a textual encounter with her over and over and over again. Parker ALLEGEDLY ended his flirtation with Barry months before it became public knowledge, but Eva Longoria is still enraged.

Like I said, "Hell hath no fury......."

Michael Jackson's youngest brother, Randy, took to Twitter to rant and rage about Michael's 'first' posthumous album, which many people other than Randy, find a bit shady.

In a massive TwitStorm, Randy attacked Sony Records, the rift between the Jackson family and the executors of Michael's estate, and, most directly, the new record, 'Michael,' dropping next month.

"I became suspicious about the album, when I heard when armed guards were involved since my brother's passing, may he rest in peace. John McClain [executor of MJ's estate along with John Branca] insisted that no family members were allowed at his studio where the project was being completed. My first thought was, what are they trying to hide?"

Rumors are swirling that what is being hidden is the fact that the Michael Jackson 'recordings'are not Michael Jackson, but a sound-alike.

Randy isn't the first Jackson to express skepticism or anger over the posthumous release. LaToya Jackson--"who, as we all know, is very shy about speaking out--says: That doesn't sound like him." And then two of Michael's nephews, Tarryl and TJ, have both bashed Sony and cast doubts about the recordings.

Tarryl Tweeted: "I will not support 'Breaking News' [the ALLEGED first single] and a few others because it simply is not him. I KNOW my Uncle's voice and something's seriously wrong when you have immediate FAMILY saying it's not him. Sounding like Michael Jackson and BEING Michael Jackson are two different things."

But making money off Michael Jackson when he's dead is a whole other matter.

 

In what might have been the most shocking elimination in a show I have never seen, never will see, and yet can't seem to avoid, Brandy and dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy were sent home on this week, while Teatard Darling, and Mama Grizzly Bore offspring and abstinence preaching unwed single mom, Blister Palin and her partner remained.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy isn't too happy about it, and has revealed his feelings for Blister: "I felt really disappointed with Bristol. On Monday night, I found out that she went on record saying that I said something about her along the lines of, 'I don't like her because she's still here and she's not a good enough dancer.' Every time I've opened my mouth about Bristol, I've been nothing but supportive...[so] for her to come out on Monday night and totally smear my name the way she did, that's just completely uncalled for, " Chmerkovskiy also says the voting system is a bit problematic. "I definitely think that the system is flawed. I think there are a lot of problems with it. I have a lot of friends in the Philadelphia area who couldn't call at all. People here, in front of me, picked up the phone, dialed one time and it said, 'Thank you for voting. You are over your limit....' I think it's just a flawed system."

I think it's a Teatard Conspiracy to sneak the Mama Grizzly Bore into the White House on the heels of her daughter's appearance on a TV dance show.

Hey, it might happen.
And Maksim is definitely not a member of Unwed Single Mom Teatard Dancers Fan Club, because he wants Kyle Massey to win, saying:
And, he's not a Palin.

Sidenote: How come everyone talks about how much weight they lose on this show, and how they are in better shape, yet Blister seems to be getting, well, chunkier? I mean, it looks like she's readying to do The Bump.....The Baby Bump....again.

Oops. I should be careful, before her sister, the Illiterate Willow comes on here and calls me a faggot, because that's how they roll.

Oprah's found yet another way to spend her millions.
And it's going to cost her about 68 million.

It seems that the Big O has been looking for an east coast house suitable for something with an ego the size of, well, her ass, and has found it in New Jersey.

Oprah and her team of handlers took to their three cars last week and stormed a $68-million English manor-style mansion in über exclusive Alpine, New Jersey. The 30,000+ square foot home was built on the grounds of the old Frick Estate.
Oprah had her minions, and by minions I mean her husband Gayle and her beard Steadman, clear the grounds of any workers so Oprah could look through the estate without being bothered by, or setting her eyes upon, common people.
And so the Big O took the long tour of the five-story, nineteen bedroom, twelve bathroom house in piece, without fear of someone asking for an autograph, or a cupcake, because you know Oprah travels with a suitcase filled with cupcakes.
In addition to the nearly twenty bedrooms, the home features walnut and marble floors with Venetian plaster walls, a carriage house, English gardens, a library, ballroom, movie theater, tennis court, saline pool and wine cellar.
Now, you may be asking yourself, as I did, why on earth Oprah needs nineteen bedrooms.
Well, there's the master bedroom for Oprah and Gayle, the beard room for Steadman, and then the remaining seventeen bedrooms can become one guest room, and then a Pie Room, a Cake Room, a Meat Room, a Cured Meat Room, a Cheese Room, a Pastry Room.............and so on................
You know that's how Oprah rolls.