Bobservations

The other night, while watching the Golden Globes, I noticed Michelle Pfeiffer was up for an award. I told Carlos a story of back when Pfeiffer was playing Catwoman in one of the Batman films, and had a scene where she used her whip to snatch the heads off four mannequins; and she did it all in one take.

Carlos said:

“She was probably channeling Joan Crawford.”

I said, quizzically:

“What does that mean?”

“From when she played in Mommie Dearest.”

“That wasn’t Pfeiffer! That was Faye Dunaway!”

“Well, they’re almost the same.”

He’s been sleeping in the shed for several days until he bones up on his Pop Culture references, and understands that, as a gay man, you can NEVER forget Dunaway was Joan.

Or else face a wire hanger.

Everybody knows you cannot be a Christian and a Republican at the same time; even a cat.

Just in time for rightwingnut heads to explode, Hasbro has announced that Mr. Potato Head is getting a rebrand in order to allow same-sex or single parent families to play the game.

No more Mr. Potato Head. It’s just Potato Head, so kids will have a blank slate to create same-sex families or single-parent families.

I love it, and I love the idea of GQPers going insane at the thought.

The other day driving home from an errand we were listening to classical music in the car, and Carlos said:

“I don’t know why, but I have never liked the flute.”

And because I have a whacked out sense of humor, I asked:

“Is it because it reminds you of the Tin Man’s dick?”

I kill me.

Apparently John Boehner has been recording an audio version of his memoir, , “On the House: A Washington Memoir” and drinking a little wine while doing so, causing him to ad lib a bit … like the chapter where he goes off-script and says:

“Oh, and Ted Cruz, go f**k yourself.”

I think he speaks for us all, with or without the wine.

And speaking of Rafael Cruz, he is apparently being mocked in the Senate gym locker room over his ill-timed, uninformed, elitist trip to Cancun while his Constituents froze, went thirsty, and actually died.

Somebody—and I ain’t saying it was AOC but she’d have every right—taped memes on the Senate gym lockers welcoming Cruz home and showing him in the short-sleeve polo shirt, jeans and Texas-flag mask that he had at the airport with the caption:

“Bienvenido de Nuevo, Ted!”

Poor Rafael. Now he’ll have to change in the hallway.

I love tattoos; in fact, I have several myself. But I’ve always been extremely cautious about what I got inked and where I got inked on my body. Not so smart, was one Leah Holland from Kentucky who responded to a viral TikTok video asking, 

“What is the dumbest tattoo that you’ve ever gotten?”

And Leah showed off her tattoo that she got March 4, 2020, that read:

“courageously & radically refuse to wear a mask.”

Now, before y’all read her the riot act, let her explain:

“I’d wanted it for a couple of years, it basically means like, be true to yourself and real, and not pretending to be something you’re not.”

Sadly, it was just a few weeks later that things changed and wearing a mask because a necessity; and, for Leah, so did wearing long sleeves.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Tweeted out this nonsense:

“I just announced Texas is OPEN 100%. EVERYTHING. I also ended the statewide mask mandate.”

And I Tweeted back:

“I guess letting the power go out and have the people freeze didn’t kill enough people for you?”

Seriously, Texas, do better.

Simone Susinna; the name rolls off the tongue. Simone Susinna. He is a former footballer, turned model, turned reality TV start turned … well, turned me on. Those eyes …I could stay there all day.

Except then there are the underwear shots and the day at the beach shots and the tease me shots.

Oh Simone.

I feel her pain.

One of my masks has a strap that goes around your neck so when you don’t need to wear it, you can pull it down and it hangs around your neck. The other day, Carlos and I were running errands and, because I thought we were finished, I removed my mask and left it in the cupholder in the car. Then Carlos had to make a stop at Office Max and it was pouring down rain, so we got out of the car and raced inside. And I wasn’t wearing a mask. I literally went to the front of the store and stood in a corner while Carlos made his purchase, and thought to myself:

People will look at me and think I’m a Republican.

Oh, the horror!

Bring Your Assault Weapon To The GOP Convention, But Not Your Super Soaker

The GOP … what are they thinking?

I kid; they don’t think. And that is clearly evident by the fact that at this year’s Republican National Convention protestors can come armed … just not with water pistols and Super Soakers.

Yup, the GOP said you can bring your guns and rifles and assault weapons to the protest but no water pistols … or soda cans … glass bottles … tennis balls … umbrellas with metal tips and “any projectile launcher” like BB guns, paintball guns and water guns.

“Hey there! You with the umbrella! Halt!”

And yet a loaded gun is fine. I guess it makes sense; I mean, do you really want someone with a water pistol taking aim at that Tabby Cat that sits atop the [t]Rump’s melon and shooting it off?

Still, guns are fine … loaded guns even … since Ohio is an open-carry state that has no ban on assault weapons, so long as they are legally obtained and don’t fire more than 31 cartridges without reloading. You know, it’s illegal to kill 31 people with your assault weapon unless you have stop before taking aim at the next 31 and reload your weapon.

Tim Selaty, director of operations at Citizens for Trump, who is an obvious moron, put it this way:

“You can take my string and you can take my duct tape, but you can’t take my gun — it’s open carry.”

That makes sense because remember when that lunatic walked into that theater in Colorado and killed all those people with string … or the guy who used duct tape to murder people in that church in Charleston?

That’s the GOP; that’s the NRA; that’s what we’ll get if people don’t Vote Blue.

Now, to be fair, since [t]Rump, for the time being until his campaign implodes and he becomes the Biggest Loser in November, is under Secret Service protection, guns of any kind will not be allowed inside the arena; the Secret Service calls that area a “protected site” where only law enforcement officers can carry guns — but even some gun zealots have fought that rule.

Seriously. But, remember, guns don’t kill people, the GOP in the back-pocket of the NRA and the NRA, kill people.

NY Daily News

Random Musings

We don’t take a lot of long vacations here at Casa Bob y Casa. We might take a day trip to Charleston, or an overnight to Asheville or Savannah, but long trips? Not so much. Maybe once a year, if that.

So, to leave the house for well over a week to head out to Washington to get married — did I mention I got married, because I did — was quite the problem for the furry kids. We had a friend, and her kids, come in to care for the kids, feed them, play with them, let Ozzo go outside for his business, but our pets, while they liked the idea of being fed and watered and having clean litter boxes, were not keen on strangers … strangers … in their house.

The report was that for most of the week, Ozzo was depressed; MaxGoldberg wouldn’t come out from under the bed, and Miss Consuelo Roca-Jones was never seen at all. In fact, when we learned during our trip that Consuelo never appeared, I worried that she’d somehow gotten out of the house because that bitch er cat never misses the chance to be first in line at meal time.

Only Tuxedo showed up, and we heard that he showed up to supervise. He followed our pet-sitters around the house, checking everything they did, everywhere they went; he watched the dog go outside, and made sure the dishes had the right food; he ordered the treats to be served at the right time, and always used the litter-box after cleaning to make sure it had been done properly.

Of course, after we got home, Ozzo went insane, racing like a bullet around the house; MaxGoldberg and Miss Roca-Jones ran and hid, in a display of temperament, or anger that we dared leave them alone.

And only Tuxedo allowed himself to be greeted and hugged and kissed … by at least one of his Dads.

Ah, pets. They really let you know what’s going on.

Big news from across the pond is that people who live at Buckingham palace — though not the Queen, I think — are bringing their online hook-ups home for the night.

Uh huh. Buckingham Palace staffers have sparked internal security fears by bringing bootie calls, met on dating apps like, oh, say, Grindr, back to their living quarters, ands police guarding the royals are said to be ‘deeply concerned’ at the number of unvetted overnight guests.

Like it’s a freakin’ Motel Sex, er, Six.

According to well-placed sources — Hey Camilla! — many of the Queen’s 800-plus staff use online dating tools, and while most live-in servants — including butlers, maids and kitchen staff — are not allowed to bring guests into Buckingham palace, they can, and do, sign in visitors to their living quarters at St James’s Palace and the Royal Mews.

Still, if it happens there, it’s happening at Fuckingham, too, if you get my drift.

Okay, so marriage equality South Carolina update:

Our Will of the People Fund case, Bradacs v Haley et al, was required by Judge Michelle Childs to submit briefs by today; Childs can either rule without reading the briefs, or after reading.

From what I understand, though, she is bound by the ruling of the Fourth circuit Courts, and should therefore rule, either today, or by the November 13 deadline she set, to allow marriage equality in the state.

That said, let me take a moment to thank Nel, from Rhode Island, and Mark, from Delaware, for their donations to the cause as a wedding gift for Carlos and me. There would be no better gift than to have our marriage recognized in our state.

ThankYouThankYouThankYou.

Lord, this Ebola thing is getting out of hand.

Not the disease itself, but the reposting of who has it, how they got it, whose fault that was, where are they, where they’d go, did they sneeze, or fart, or vomit or crap their pants.

Keep it in perspective people. As I heard on NPR, more people have been married to Larry King — and to Kim Kardastrophe, for that matter — than have contracted Ebola in the country.

Every sneeze isn’t Ebola.

Stop it.

We love Scandal and we love How To Get Away With Murder. There used to be this thing called “Must See TV” and now that’s become, for us, “WTF Just Happened TV.”

I also love that both shows, created by Shonda Rhimes, feature all kinds of people, black and white, and every color in between, gay and straight, men and women, and don’t feed into the stereotypes of any of those folks.

Recently, though, there was a second, very hot, scene between two men on HTGAWM and some folks got their panties in a snit about it; like this woman who Tweeted:

And then Shonda Rhimes Tweeted back:

Good on Shonda!

Speaking of TV, here’s the Hot Man Alert for the New Season:

Brit Dominic West, baring butt, in Showtime's The Affair; Brian Hallisay, the cop with the big beautiful guns on Revenge; Michael Socha, the newest fairy-tale character, Will Scarlett, on Once Upon a Time; and Michael James Shaw, burning up the screen on the upcoming Constantine.

You’re Welcome.

So Renee Zellweger showed up at an even this week looking like, well, not Renee Zellweger, and social media went into snark overdrive.

It really was mean-spirited, and, as happens on these anonymous sites, a free-for-all. But then Zellweger herself weighed into the fray, saying this:

"I'm glad folks think I look different! I'm living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I'm thrilled that perhaps it shows. My friends say that I look peaceful. I am healthy. For a long time I wasn't doing such a good job with that. I took on a schedule that is not realistically sustainable and didn't allow for taking care of myself."

Let me say that if Zellweger had any kind of procedure, that’s her business and her right, and we shouldn’t denigrate her, or any man or woman for doing whatever they want to make themselves happier and more at peace with themselves.

That said, Renee, really? That is not the face of happy and fulfilled; that is a very different face altogether, and we should be able to bring it up in conversation, polite conversation, otherwise it becomes the lifted and tucked and Botoxed elephant in the room, Just sayin’.

Monica Lewinsky’s back, y’all. And am I the only one who finds it curious that she always resurfaces when Hillary Clinton is expected to run for office?

Yeah, Monica, right. But now, Lewinsky has taken on the crusade of online bullying because she says she is the first person to be “destroyed” by the Internet.

Bitch, please. You were attacked and reduced because you f**ked a married man, presidential or not, and then kept the DNA-stained clothing as some kind of trophy.

You really need to stop talking, permanently.

A group of conservative moms in Florida seem to have forced Toys R Us to pull four collectible dolls based on characters from AMC's "Breaking Bad."

Now, this one I don’t have a problem with, because I don’t think a meth-making doll is the kind of ‘toy’ kids should be playing with, though, if an adult, an adult, wants this kind of memento, go right ahead.

Toys R Us says the figures were sold in limited quantities in the adult-action-figure area of its stores but the fact is they were sold in a ‘toy’ store.

I’m kinda with the moms on this one. What do you think?

When former Playboy bunny Jenny McCarthy joined The View I knew she’d become the dumb one — which is saying a lot since Sherri “I’m not sure the Earth is Round” Shepard s still on — but now McCarthy is talking more, and sounder even more stupid.

If that’s possible. See, now she says she’s always felt “transgendered” on the inside:

"I feel like that inside. I always felt like one of the guys wearing, like, a Playboy bunny outfit. I was David Spade’s buddy to begin with, so I was a natural fit [to play a transgender character on Spade’s 90s show Just Shoot Me] and I always felt like his brother. To play kind of the dude, was almost too scary natural."

Seriously? So, you played transgender and that made you think you’re kinda transgender?

Siddown. But that wasn’t the dumbest think this bimbo said. She also went on to say she’d be over the moon if her son was gay:

"Oh my god, I would be so excited. We can shop! Do my hair!"

Right, because that's what every gay boy likes to do!

This gay boy hates shopping, hates the idea of touching Jenny McCarthy’s fried weave, and hates the idea that anyone is asking to interview this moron.