Meme Dump

Bobservations

The other day Carlos had a dentist’s appointment, so I dropped him off and returned home. When he was finished, he called me to pick him up …

“I’m running late to work so I’ll drive by and slow down in front of the office and open the door and you can jump in.”

“Um, sweetiepie, you’re on speaker phone!”

“What’s your point?”

In the background I heard someone in the office laugh and say:

“He’s funny.”

She’s right, and she’s my new best friend.

This Tuxedo Memory is from August 2018 and is creatively entitled, “Oy! The Punim on That Cat.”

‘Someone was clearly not pleased that I was disturbing the post-breakfast nap.’

That’s my boy … I like to think he got that resting bitch face from me!

President Biden is expected to give a primetime address on the first night of the Democratic National Convention next month in Chicago with a “big tribute” is planned for him that same night.

He deserves all that and more and I will be tuned in!

Celine Dion showed up in Paris in a designer track suit from Gucci that cost $7,000.00. My question is: for 7 g’s you couldn’t get one that fit?

The FBI is examining numerous metal fragments found near the stage at that Felon campaign to determine whether it was an assassin’s bullet—or potential debris—that grazed The Felon’s ear. The bureau has asked to interview The Felon as part of its investigation, hoping to provide insights into the shooting and possibly a more complete record of his injury. i.e., paper cut.

It was funny that MAGAts were fuming that the FBI director was using the word ‘fragment’ to describe what he thinks hit The Felon’s ear and so the FBI director changed his wording and called it ‘shrapnel’ and suddenly they were happy.

Um, MAGAts? Shrapnel is defined as, ahem, “fragments” of a bomb, shell, or other object thrown out by an explosion.

You cannot make this shiz up.

In the days since Vice President Kamala Harris launched her presidential bid, more than 170,000 volunteers have joined her cause, and she’s raised so much money that Clarence Thomas wants to go on vacation with her.

In July 2021, Monsignor Jeffrey Burrill resigned from his post as the general secretary of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops [USCCB] ahead of a report by The Pillar alleging that he had engaged in inappropriate behavior and frequent use of Grindr. And now Jeffrey is suing the gay “hookup” app saying the company failed to protect his data, leading to his resignation.

You might wanna just come out, padre, and then take a seat.

Vice President Kamala Harris has a message for The Felon is he’s too scared to debate her: she’ll do the debate by herself.

And maybe just put a few fast-food wrappers on the stage to represent the chicken-shiz gelatinous gasbag.

Speaking of The Felon, he spoke about Melanie watching the shooting live and when he asked her feelings about it she said she couldn’t talk about it. Couldn’t talk about it? That means that either the check didn’t clear or she didn’t get the result she wanted. But then The Felon said that was Ok “because that means she likes me or she loves me.”

Her husband is ALLEGEDLY almost gunned down and she likes him?

Judge Joel Cohen has banned Wayne LaPierre, the former head of the National Rifle Association [NRA] from holding a paid position with the organization for a decade.

Should’a made it permanent, giving him time to wash decades of blood off his hands.

Kilian Isaak Zeugin is a Swiss model, based in Athens, who works around the work, but the real issue is, Would You Hit It?

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Just when you think she’d gone away for good, Paris Hilton has crawled from the ooze to claim that she invented the selfie. You see, back in 2017, this dim bulb Tweeted a photo of herself hanging out with Britney Spears back in 2006, and wrote:

“11 years ago today, Me & Britney invented the selfie!”

Twitter, like most of the world, ignored Paris, so she came back three years later to again Tweet:

“14 years ago, @britneyspears and I invented the selfie #LegendsOnly.”

And more than 106,000 people liked the picture, while a few took Paris to task, posting things like this from someone named Tito Ambyo:

“The drunk Aussie dude did it before you though. In 2002.”

But then a Tweeter named Shelby dropped the mic when she posted:

“Sorry [Paris], these are the oldest selfie in the world.”

So, take a seat Paris; take several seats. You didn’t’ invent the selfie, but you most assuredly invented Clueless Media Whore.

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Uh-oh, her heart may go on, but there will be fewer coins in the bank account.

Yup, Celine Dion just lost a lawsuit between herself and her former talent agency ICM Partners. ICM was suing Celine, saying she owed them a boatload of cash in commissions, as stipulated in her contract with them, and a judge sided with ICM.

It all began in 2017, when Celine signed a multi-year touring and performing contract with AEG ALLEGEDLY valued at $500 million. ICM claimed Celine never paid them their cut of the deal and so, in 2019, ICM and Dion’s longtime representative, Rob Prinz, dropped her as a client, and then sued her for the money.

Celine argued that she had already paid Rob tons of money in the 30 years she was a client but that matters not when it comes to the $500M she pocketed while a client. So, Celine then claimed that Rob and ICM tried to take advantage of her after her husband, Rene Angelil, died in 2016, because Rene handled the business side of things, and she wasn’t used to doing that on her own:

“I have paid Mr. Prinz many millions of dollars over the years. And when this all started, my team made an extremely generous offer to pay him and ICM many more millions for years to come, even though our old agreements were over and we had not made a new one. I’m not saying that Mr. Prinz did not do anything, but he’s taking much more credit for my career than he deserves. Mr. Prinz had never asked to be paid for 10 years for a few months’ work, and I never agreed to it. When Rene was alive, he took care of my business and was always very fair with the people we worked with, and he taught me to be the same. Because he wasn’t here to stand up for me at the hearing, I feel like Mr. Prinz and ICM took advantage with their demands for money and revealing confidential information about my AEG deal. I feel betrayed.”

As Judge Judy might say, I don’t care how you feel, and this judge wasn’t buying the poor widow act from someone who had been in the business since she was a child bride. Cough up the coins, Celine. Don’t be a deadbeat. ICM wants their $13 million.

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Cue the dragons, Jane Seymour is pissed.

Apparently the producers of something called Glow and Darkness—a medieval miniseries—have replaced Seymour in part of the series with a :::gasp::: younger actress! You see, Jane’s character, Eleanor of Aquitaine, was supposed to age from 25 to 80, and producers just didn’t think sixty-nine-year-old  Jane could pull off mid-twenties. Normally, I’d say cast an actual twenty-something in the role, but here’s the rub:  one of Jane’s co-stars is 87-year-old Dame Joan Collins who plays a woman who dies at age 40. 

Collins can play 40 but Seymour can’t pay 25? To be fair, Jane will still play Eleanor, but another actress will play younger Eleanor, and that pisses off Jane, who says she didn’t learn about the switch until she arrived on-set:

“They told me that only I was going to play myself at 25, but before I even got round to doing it, the day before, without telling me, they found another actress to play me at 25. It’s something I really don’t understand at all because believe it or not, and you can see on Instagram, they don’t even need to do the facial stuff on me. It works just fine. Joan Collins is 87, and she’s supposed to be playing a woman who dies at 40.”

Ouch. Jane just threw Joan under the bus with the “facial stuff” comment. I wouldn’t want to be her on that film set. But, if Jane, who, yes, looks fabulous at 69, thinks she looks 25, then maybe cataract surgery is in order?

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It was just the other day that I posted about former actor and accused domestic abuser Ricky Schroeder throwing the last few coins he has into the bail out pool for the Kenosha Murderer, and now Ricky is whining that people are being mean to him for helping a boy, a child, who illegally purchased a gun, murder two people and injure a third, get out of jail.

Schroeder has been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrifying “negative social media posts” and, as MAGAts do when people call them out of their brazen ignorance, stupidity and hate, he called the police because people on social media were mean to him. Oh, honey, social media was invented so people can be mean to dicks like Rick.

Law enforcement sources say that police were called to Schroeder’s home after he went on Twitter and saw that someone had posted:

“Tbh thought he was dead. Would’ve been better”

“This was a racist move pure and simple”

And my personal favorite:

“Ricky Schroder can shove that silver spoon right up his own ass”

Police “determined none of the online comments rose to the level of a criminal threat” and left after taking a “suspicious circumstances report” adding that Schroder will be in contact with authorities if things escalate.

But then Ricky, who whined about meanies on social media, took to social media to, ahem, stand his ground by saying …

“To my Democrat Friends. This is the country want to live in? [sic] #fuckantifa”

… alongside screen shots of the mean things people, said about him and a photo of Ricky carrying a gun, roaming through his backyard of his manse in Malibu looking for that Antifa threat that is sure to come his way. And he wants y’all to know that he doesn’t give a flying f**k about COVID and is having all his family over for Superspreader Thanksgiving because he’s a patriot.

Or a MAGAt loon who bails out murderers and then calls the police because the internet trolled him.

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In the Thankful Spirit, let’s talk about a real patriot, from Canada, Alex Trebek. It seems the late Jeopardy! host was quite the conservationist who quietly donated 62 acres of his land in the Hollywood Hills to the city of Los Angeles nearly twenty years ago. It’s called the Trebek Open Space, and it runs into Runyon Canyon park providing trails for hikers, mountain bikers, and equestrians. When Trebek passed away a couple of weeks ago, the Laurel Canyon Land Trust posted about his donation:

“Today Alex Trebek passed away. Did you know that he was generous conservationist in addition to being a famous game show host? He donated 62 acres of land in the Santa Monica Mountains in Nichols Canyon to create the Trebek Open Space. This was not only a gift to urban Angelinos who thirst for open space and outdoor activity, but a gift to native animals such as our local Mountain Lions that require large amounts of open space in order to survive, and a gift to future generations who will have to reckon with climate change in the years to come. Thank you Alex Trebek and may you Rest in Peace.”

That’s how it’s done.

RIP Alex. And thank you.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’ll admit I know next nothing about Aubrey O’Day except that she’s had Junior’s dick inside of her, but this is far more interesting.

After that last debate, O’Day decided to drop her own October Surprise by spilling the tea on the _____’s … well,  except for the self-appointed LGBQIIA—that’s what she called us when she declared herself an ally—Tiffany.

Aubrey started off by Tweeting that she had been f**ked by Junior more than once … I guess he couldn’t get it right … after meeting him on the fifth season of The Celebrity Apprentice in 2012, but then she turned her attention to the debates. 

When _____ brought up Hunter Biden, Aubrey, who is clearly Team Biden, Tweeted that Junior hates his Daddy—because Daddy loves Ivanka more—and then claimed that Daddy ______ banged an unnamed  Miss Universe from his show, and that Favorite Child, Ivanka, is a down-low Lesbian.

Oh, the shade! Aubrey later deleted that tweet—though nothing tweeted ever really dies, as you can see below—and then even went after littlest _____, Barron, calling him a spoiled little bitch:

“and while we are at it.. I have texts of don jr telling me what a little sh*t a**hole barron is. That they were on the private jet and barron didn’t like his food so he threw the plate across the plane at the attendant. NONE of these people are INNOCENT of being assholes & liars!”

She sent another tweet—also since deleted—that read:

“We need to stop discussing kids.. because Ivanka is a lesbian, yet doesn’t support women’s rights in this administration that she RUNS on the low.”

Now, I don’t know if Ivanka is a lesbian—and if she is, we really don’t want her,  so there’ll be no Toaster Oven coming her way—but I do believe she might be asexual, because she went straight from a Daddy who gropes her ass, said he’d date her, right into gender-neutral Ken Doll, Jared Kushner, who appears to wince whenever Ivanka is near.

Just sayin’.

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Wendy Williams is flailing again.

Last week, viewers of her show noted that she seemed unable to stay on topic, slurred her words, and was a sloppy, incoherent rambling mess; and this is different, how? But when one fan took to Instagram to express concern, former Wendy Williams Show DJ, DJ Boof—who recently exited the show with no explanation—responded that “everyone there is afraid to speak up” and hinted at more trouble for the show:

“Yup exactly and it will all come out. Y’all have no idea what’s really going on and everyone there is afraid to speak up because they don’t wanna lose their jobs. This is going to play out bad. I feel sorry for the workers and victims.”

Well, we’ve been here before; Wendy has struggled with sobriety in the past, including a stint in a sober house back in 2019. And there was the day she fainted on air, and other shows featuring more erratic behavior, which she attributed to Graves disease, a thyroid condition that can cause cognitive impairment … and worse when paired with drugs and alcohol.

And her staff does nothing? This is just another case of hangers on allowing their meal ticket to self-destruct because, were she to quit the show and get the help she needs, their paychecks would end.

Wendy’s show was renewed through the 2022 TV season and that’s a lot of coins for the staff and crew … if they can keep Wendy working.

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Oh, out of touch media whores make the best stories.

Kim Kardastrophe West understands the plight of the average American because when she recently celebrated her 40th birthday, she opted for a simple, low-key affair which involved flying her “closest inner circle” to a private island where they “danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach and so much more.”

In a pandemic. But she made sure she reminded her fans … fans? … that her little soiree to celebrate herself is “for most people … something that is so far out of reach right now.” You know, cuz you’re poor and your mother never sold your sex tape to a porn site to make you a “star.” But even better, and more telling, than her being an entitled self-absorbed damn the pandemic I want cake little bitch princess made a point of inviting all her nearest and dearest … except her husband.

Ah, love.

PS Yes, that’s a ‘16’on KK’s Kake, and, no, she’s not 16-years-old … that’s her IQ.

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Then there’s Kanye, who didn’t attend was campaigning for president wasn’t invited, but did send a gift … a hologram of KK’s late father Robert Kardashian that showered KK with reassuring words and compliments and ended like this:

“You married the most, most, most, most, most genius man in the whole world—Kanye West.”

His gift was her dead father saying she’d married a genius that he had never met, or even heard of … That’s so Kanye!

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Oh, dear goddess, she wants to be an actress.

A new movie starring Priyanka Chopra and Sam Heughan is being made, but no one cares about them because …. Celine Dion is going to be in the movie as well.

The film, Text For You, is a remake of a foreign film about texting. Chopra plays a woman whose fiancé dies, and she starts sending romantic texts to his old cell. Trouble is, the old number has been reassigned to Heughan, who is also dealing with the loss of the love, and through the music of Dion they learn to carry on and love again.

Barf. To the movie and Celine Dion.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It looks like Michael Caine loves to dish, though his subject matter might get a certain Beyhive all up in arms.

You might recall that both Caine and Beyoncé appeared in Austin Powers In Goldmember, but you may not know that Beyoncé confessed to Michael that she is thirsty for Oscar.

“I knew she was a singer and had a group. I asked her one day, ‘What do you want to do with your life, Be-yons?’ I always called her ‘Be-yons.’ And she said, ‘I want to win the Academy Award for acting.’ She was very good in the movie, a very competent actress, and I thought she could get somewhere with this. She’s gone far beyond my world. She’s so big now.”

But as an actress? She’s less Meryl and more Madge, you know, so Oscar looks like a dream, girl.

See what I did there? Dream, girl. Dreamgirls? I’ll stop.

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You ever wonder if Jimmy Kimmel has turned down a guest? Well, wonder no more; he has, and her name is … Barbra Streisand.

Appearing on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen Kimmel was asked if he’d ever had a guest that wanted to reverse the set—Cohen says he’s reversed his set four times for Mimi. Kimmel said:

“I’ve had a guest ask for that and I said no … It was the condition. But the condition was that we couldn’t talk about that we’d switched around and I was like, ‘I just don’t see how that would work.’”

And, when pressed, he admitted it was Babs. Still, I love that she asked, and then said she’d refuse to talk about it, like anyone who has seen Kimmel even once would notice the set had been flipped. But it’s nothing new for Streisand … when James Cordon got her to agree to a Carpool Karaoke, she did it in the driver’s seat.

Diva!

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Color me surprised … and by that, I mean, I saw this coming miles away … but reality stars Jeff Lewis and his boyfriend/partner/other-half/costar, Gage Edward, are over … or taking a break because if their show comes back, perhaps they’ll reunite for the cameras?

This is the latest in a long line of Jeff Lewis friends, family, lovers, surrogate mothers, walking away from his ass in a fire of ill-feelings and/or lawsuits. First, his longtime housekeeper Zola quit, and then his longtime assistant Jenni left in a blaze of a lawsuit, and then his surrogate mother—who carried the Lewis-Edward baby to term—is suing him for saying nasty things about her vagina on camera.

And now Gage.

Color me not surprised, but since Lewis has a history of pushing people away, so there’s no telling how long his baby daughter will be in the picture.

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Tori Spelling is trailer trash who lives like she’s a billionaire, and so she is in a constant state of debt because she doesn’t pay her credit card bills.

In 2016, she was sued by AmEx because she owed them $38,000, and now she’s back in AmEx hell because she’s being ordered to repay $88,594.55 to them.

How is her card still active? Two years ago, she owed 40K and now AmEx let her raise her debt ceiling to 90K? Tori is hoping that if her proposed Beverly Hills 90210 reboot was a go, she could pay off that debt, but AmEx is lie, Bitch, you were Donna Martin. No one cares about Donna Martin. Just give us our money.

Maybe she could go to work for Jeff Lewis and then sue his ass after a couple of years for some credit card coin.

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Celine Dion. I often wish her heart didn’t go on, but today, for this instant, I’m on her side.

Dion recently gave an interview and the gist of it is that she wants to be left alone. She was asked if her rumored new, much younger boyfriend, Pepe Munoz was “the man in her life” and she said he was a man in her life.

Leave me alone!

Then talk turned to Dion’s increasingly thin body—not to mention her horrific fashion sense, and by sense, I mean, if it’s ugly, she’ll wear it—and Dion said “if you like it, I’ll be there. If you don’t, leave me alone.”

How can we leave you alone, Celine, when you won’t go away? Please. Go. Away.

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It looks like Wendy ain’t coming back any time soon, because for the foreseeable future The Wendy Williams Show will be The Nick Cannon Show.

It all began with an arm injury and over-medicating herself, and that was compounded by the rumors that her husband’s side-piece was with child and suddenly Wendy can’t perform any longer.

Enter Nick Cannon and his Turban. But don’t get too comfortable, because if history has taught us anything—America’s Got Talent—it’s that Tyra Banks comes for any Nick Cannon gig and so maybe Tyra will be back in the talk show game again soon.

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Oh, am I excited … Gwyneth Paltrow is in trouble with the law again, though not for those Vaginal Steaming Lies or those $1500 t-shirts or because Martha Stewart sold her out to the feds? No, Paltrow is being sued by Dr. Terry Sanderson for a ski accident that he says happened in Utah in 2016 when a “skiing out of control” Paltrow slammed into him.

Sanderson says the “hit-and-run ski crash” happened when Paltrow “skied out of control” colliding with him from the back, knocked him down, knocked him out and then got up and skied away as if nothing ever happened. And Sanderson wants for $3.1 million for “permanent traumatic brain injury,” pain and suffering, loss of enjoyment of life, four broken ribs, some good old-fashioned emotional distress and last but not least, disfigurement. Sanderson is also claiming that the Deer Valley Resort is conspiring in a cover-up, and a ski instructor, Eric Christiansen who was with Goop, filed a report full of lies saying that she did not cause the crash. Eric, the resort itself and two other unnamed employees are also being sued.

I imagine  that Paltrow will spin this crash as some new kind of GOOP Full Body Skiing and send Sanderson a bill for several thousand dollars. I mean, c’mon, this is the woman who fleeces rich women for profit, who tells people she invented yoga, so, yeah, I think she crashed into the doctor and the skied away because she takes no responsibility for anything unless she can turn a profit.

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WTF? Celine Dion

I loathe Celine Dion ... I loathe everything about her. And when she appears in public like this it makes that task so much easier.

Dion actually appeared on the streets of Paris in this get-up ... I mean, she looks like she’s off to a Dairy-Farm/Leather-Bar for a night of milking and fisting. But the most laughable thing of all?

Nope, not the black leather overalls.

Nope. Not the ill-fitting man’s shirt.

And most definitely not the pearl-accented sandals by “designer” Kanye West.

The most laughable thing of all is that this get-up costs $110,000.

My heart will go on ... laughing. And loathing.

Sidenote: I’ll take the bodyguard, though.

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