Thursday, March 31, 2011

Just For Giggles

source: LGBT Laughs

I Love This Guy,,, II

I Wonder If Abby Had Something To Do With This

And if you don't know that Abby is the Demon Dog from Froggy's house, then maybe you ought to scoot on over and take a look-see, eh? And if you don't think Abby has the power to change the laws in Washington, look at this picture where she's about to make fire.
Blatantly stolen from Froggy's place.
Uh huh.

Anyway, up in Washington state, the legislature has voted that the state will recognize same-sex marriages from other states as legal domestic partnerships. Now, The Gays can't get married up in Abby-ville--though I think she's working on that, too--but the state will recognize your gay marriage by a vote of 28-19. It now heads to Governor Gregoire to sign into law.

Under current state law, Washington recognizes only domestic partnerships from other states, but excludes same-sex marriage, and while this bill doesn't create full marriage equality in Washington, same-sex marriages from elsewhere would be eligible for the rights granted to domestic partnerships in this state.

Someone email this to Montana and Indiana, so they can see how things work when people are granted equality.

And someone give Abby a treat, because I'm thinking she had something to do with this.

Good girl, Abby. Good. Girl.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Architecture Wednesday: One Bedroom Loft

In large cities, space is often at a premium, so, well, smaller is better, and sometimes cheaper. Case in point, this one bedroom loft. It's tiny, to be sure, but functional, and with a sense of flair.
A small, well, let's call it 'intimate,' living room.

A fully functional kitchen.
The Grand Staircase...... the spacious Master Suite.

A slate-tiled shower.......

.....and double sinks!

It is also built inside a grain bin from the 1940s.....

...and has a spacious front porch.

Of course the large city to which one would have to move to in order to own, yes, own, this piece of architectural magic, is Gruene Homestead Inn in New Braunfels , Texas.
Farm living is the life for me!

source: My Sister

Just A Thought: Indiana and Montana Hate The Gays

Apparently the members of the Indiana Senate don't read polls; you know, like the new one that came out last week that says a majority--and yes, it's a slim majority--of Americans don't have an issue with marriage equality.

But in Indiana the Republican controlled House and Senate set aside what seems to be the will of the people and approved a proposed amendment that would not only ban gay marriage, but also ban civil unions.

Now, while doing this, they also failed to do anything about jobs, the economy, the environment, or any of those pesky little annoyances; it was much more important for the Indiana state legislators to enact Hate.

Now, it's not all said and done in Indiana, and when the people of the state waked up and realize their elected officials are not focusing on the issues near and dear to the hearts of the voters, these Republican asshats will be swept from office.

See, the Indiana General Assembly still needs to pass this anti-LGBT measure again in 2013 or 2014, and then it goes before the voters, and then the Indiana state constitution can be amended to add Hatred and Bigotry and Intolerance.

Isn't it lovely?

And while current Indiana state law already prohibits gay marriages--See? It's already illegal--amendment sponsor, Republican wingnut with too much time on his hands and not even good sense in his head, Senator Dennis Kruse says the measure would provide maximum protection for the basic family unit of society.

Cuz, you know, we Gays are out to destroy the family. It's been our plan ever since we were invented.

And now, onto Montana, Big Sky Country, er, Big Lie Country.

The Montana House blocked an attempt this week to blast a stalled bill out of committee so that state representatives could debate whether to repeal the state law declaring gay sex to be illegal.

Yes, in Montana it's illegal for The Gays to have sex. They are legislating what Gay folks do in their own homes. Now, to be fair, the Montana Supreme Court, in a unanimous 1997 decision, struck down the law banning gay sex as unconstitutional, but no one ever bothered to remove it from the state law books, but before the Supreme Court ruling, gays and lesbians in Montana risked being charged with felonies and if convicted, they could have faced a maximum penalty of a 10-year prison sentence and a $50,000 fine.

For having consensual sex. In.Their.Own.Homes.

A leading opponent said the court didn't strike down the law as unconstitutional.

Judiciary Chairman, Republican Congressman Ken Peterson, says the Supreme Court ruling held that same-sex adults, in private, not-for-commercial purposes, are protected by the right to privacy, not that the law was unconstitutional.

Diane Sands
Democratic Congresswoman Diane Sands says, "It's been almost 15 years since the Supreme Court ruling. It's about time we removed that language from the books....It's about the value we all place on the constitutional right to privacy and the right of members of the gay and lesbian community of Montana to not be criminals under the law Let's bring it to the floor and debate it and take action on it." 

It was Congresswoman Sands who proposed getting the bill out of the House Judiciary Committee, but her motion received just 51 votes in the 100-member House, not the 60 votes needed. 

Diane Sands' motion drew support from one Republican, Congressman Steve Gibson, who said the issue is not about gay marriage or religion, but rather "about freedom, privacy, respect, personal responsibility."

Yes, a Republican said that. And, he added, "Do you want the government in your bedroom? I don't. I'm sure everybody in the House knows someone in their family, a friend or a person that is homosexual. Do you love them? Do you respect them? I do."

But then, the less cool and rational Republican heads got into the fray, with one, Republican Congressman Michael Moore--No, not that one--arguing against Sands' motion, actually citing Scripture and natural law and "eternal law": "I would say that the protections provided in the privacy clause of the Montana Constitution, which are extensive and which we've been over numerous times in the House Judiciary Committee, the protections are sufficient."

But keep the Hate Law on the books?

Let's give Diane Sands the last word: "You know, we are members of your family and your community. We sit next to you in your pew at church and in some cases we're your pastor, whether you know it or not. We care for your parents in nursing homes. We're your nieces and nephews. We fill the potholes on your streets, and we even serve beside you as members of the House and the Senate. These days we serve beside you in the House and the Senate as out members of the lesbian and gay community, partly because we were not under the threat of this law."

Oh, Montana.
Oh, Indiana.

The times are a'changing. Are you sure you want to be at the back of the line as we march toward freedom, or do you want to be remembered as the ones who stood up against intolerance and bigotry and hate?

The choice is yours.


Blind Dates

Blind dates. Ugh. I went on a blind date once and.It.Was.A.Nightmare.

My date was a woman. Oy! Of course, I was in high school at the time, and not at all out, so naturally I would get set up with a woman. And we went to a drive-in movie. Oy!  

Again. Me. A homo. On a blind date. With a woman. At a drive-in.


Sarah and George
But my sad little one-time shot at blind dating doesn't even compare with Sarah Kemp and George Bentley's blind date. Their date would definitely fall into the worst category, and, well, yes, the best category.

Sarah Kemp and George Bentley met through an Internet dating service. She was a cleaner living in Edinburgh, Scotland, and he was a London-based builder. After their initial "meet" on last fall, they began writing back and forth, finally deciding to "bite the bullet" and meet in person.

Sarah Kemp says she would never have agreed to a blind date, but she and George "hit it off from the beginning, and our relationship blossomed as we emailed each other more and more often."

Sounds lovely, but wait.

As they met over drinks in a pub, and began to talk they both soon realized that this blind date was not going to lead to any kind of romance. They weren't suited as lovers because they are, and here you have it, brother and sister.

I know!

After about an hour of that awful first date chat, at Bentley's favorite pub, the White Horse, Bentley's favorite the two realized they were actually siblings.

Sarah Kemp: "To meet your long-lost brother, in a bar, after over 30 years would be something by itself, [b]ut to meet him in those circumstances -- on a date, for crying out loud -- really is something else. We obviously had far more in common than first thought."

Sarah Kemp and George Bentley grew up together until their parents, Felicity and David Bentley, divorced in 1975. Kemp moved with her mother to Edinburgh, while Bentley stayed with his father. Sarah Bentley married in 1989, only to divorce a year later, but kept the name Kemp, making George's search for his sister all the more difficult.

George Bentley: "I had absolutely no idea where she was. I was also searching for Sarah Bentleys, rather than Sarah Kemps, as I obviously didn't know she married. After a while, I think both Sarah and I gave up looking."

Until a blind dating Internet site hooked them up.


But, in the end, quite, satisfying.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just For Giggles: Facebook Goes Too Far

courtesy of The Daily What

Just A Thought: Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich

One has been financially bankrupt, while the other is morally bankrupt, and yet they both think they can be President of These United States.


Donald Trump says he will spend some $600 million of his own money-0-and lose $600 million of his own money--to win the White House.

Donald Trump thinks because he can buy a trophy wife, and buy off ex-wives he can buy the White House. And he's planning on doing that by pandering to the Birthers.

Oh, but he is.

He has said he wants to see Obama's birth certificate, but when he see it he doesn't believe it. He says he hasn't seen any pictures of Obama as a child but when he sees them he doesn't believe them.

Now, he's taken his Birther Mentality to a new extreme. he has posted his birth certificate on the right-wing website Newsmax to prove his theory about Obama And The Case Of The Birth Certificate. I believe he has Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys meeting down at the Old Mill Pond to help him.

But I digress.

See, one thing Donald Trump didn't realize, with all his millions of dollars, millions of ass-kissing flunkies, and bad hair, is that the "birth certificate" he posted on Newsmax is, and this is rich, not his birth certificate.

All that money and he's as dumb as a box of hair.

In fact, the document in question is not even an official New York City birth certificate [see below, courtesy of Towleroad], but is, instead, a document from Jamaica Hospital, where Trump’s mother Mary allegedly gave birth to her ball of hair back in June 1946. Had Trump taken five seconds out of his ego-stroking time, he might have realized that he needed to get his actual birth certificate from the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene’s Office of Vital Records.
Maybe Trump's trying to hide something on his birth certificate. I mean, Jamaica Hospital? Is that even in the US of A?

And then we have Newt Gingrich, whose moral compass alternately points to his frequently unzipped pants and the cooch of a future Missus Gingrich.

He is taking to the airwaves to discuss his life as a serial adulterer, and some folks--not me--think he's doing so because when election time comes next year, he'll have exhausted the subject and no one will care.

Oh really, Newt?

Um, I care.

I care that you're a hypocrite, trying to impeach a President for lying about an affair while you were having an affair and lying about it.

I care that you schtupped a mistress while your wife was battling cancer.

I care that you served said wife with divorce papers while she was battling cancer.

I care that you married the aforementioned schtup-ee and then schtupped around on her, until you decided to divorce her and marry the current Missus Schtupped.

Whom, as we all know from history, will soon find you dipping Little Newt into places where he shouldn't the cooch of the next Missus Gingrich.

No, Newt, most people won't forget that you are a liar and a hypocrite and a serial fuck arounder. But we will forget you come election time.

Murray Richmond: Coming Out Of The Dark

Murray Richmond was a Presbyterian minister for 17 years, and a hospital chaplain for three years. He used to stand at the pulpit and preach against The Gays and the sins of homosexuality, and the Word of God and blibbety blah blay blue everything anti-gay.

Murray Richmond
Now, however, Murray Richardson has come out of the darkness, revealing that, as Americans have shifted their attitudes bout marriage equality--from 32% approval in 2004 to 53% today--he is one of those Americans who has changed his mind.

Pastor say what?

He tells of being ordained back in 1989, and serving a church in North Carolina. Homosexuality wasn't much of an issue, gay rights weren't an issue, except maybe to the LGBT community, and the idea of an openly gay pastor was, well, it simply wasn't done. Murray Richmond believed, then, that no one "could be a practicing homosexual and a Christian. The Bible was straightforward on this issue. It all seemed incredibly obvious to me."

Then came the 90s, and suddenly homosexuality became a hot-button issue for more than just The Gays; straight people were talking about it, supporting it, protesting it. Murray Richmond advocated that old chestnut, "hate the sin, love the sinner"--he'd picked his side in the debate, and his side was anti-gay.

However, even then he didn't like the debate, because he thought other things, like, oh say, helping the poor, feeding the hungry, aiding the homeless, should be of the utmost importance, not, as he says, "determining the morality of what adults did in their bedrooms."

But Murray joined the crowds and preached against homosexuality. Today, he calls that holding "the traditional line" and limiting the role of gays in the church. But Murray felt something wasn't right with the anti-LGBT preaching; what he had once believed to be "biblically correct began to feel less and less right" in his heart.

And then Murray had an epiphany, well, three epiphanies, I guess.

He began having an online chat with a gay Christian man, who, like so many gay Christians, struggle with their orientation and their faith, and how those two things should work. The man struggled to tell Murray of his thoughts and ideas, that "God was more concerned with his pride than his sexuality" because he felt Murray, like every other man of the cloth to whom he'd spoken, had tried to convert him. But Murray listened, and questioned himself, and the church.

Then, one of his parishioners asked him to perform an exorcism for him because he was gay. The man had tried everything to change from gay to straight, and thought exorcism might actually do the trick. Murray still felt the man, and his homosexuality, were sinful, but he also knew that the man was not demon-possessed. He was just gay, and afraid.

Finally, Murray Richmond met a woman whose husband had left her for another man. And, to make matters worse, in the woman's eyes, her husband was, of all things, a minister in a small-town. But Murray Richmond was astonished by "her grace," and how she still called her husband the best minister she had ever known; a man who had simply decided that "he could no longer live the lie of his sexuality." 

These three revelations convinced Murray Richmond that no one chooses to be gay, like he had not chosen heterosexuality. And Murray realized that, after years of doing so, albeit begrudgingly, he could no longer condemn gay men and women for something that is not their fault, not their choice.

In the end, what affirmed his newfound beliefs, was when he was "approached by five individuals who demanded: that he come out strongly against acceptance of LGBT people in his next sermon. They wanted him to preach what the Bible said on the issue, but found it funny that "all five of them were divorced and remarried...[and]...[h]ad I done a sermon on what the Bible said about divorce, every one of them would have left the church in a huff."


Still, Murray Richmond did that sermon, possibly out of fear of repercussions from his flock, and today he says it was not his "best hour as a Minister of Word and Sacrament." He felt the Bible, and, apparently God's, view on homosexuality, was far more nuanced than he thought, and, while he tried to instill that thought into his sermon, he still feels he came off as anti-gay.

Murray Richmond:

"Looking back, I see how much my own opinions had been formed by the fact that I was representing a split congregation. Our church, like so many, was divided. And while the people who believed it should be accepted were not going to leave if we maintained a position of non-acceptance, those who felt it was a sin would bolt in a heartbeat if we ever allowed gay clergy or gay marriage. If they bolted, half our budget would go out the door. I knew the issue could tear the church apart. What I didn't realize was how it could tear apart the people in the church as well.
Murray Richmond left his ministry in 2005 to work as a hospital chaplain. He says one reason he left was because his own marriage was breaking up, but also he was "tired of trying to live up to standards that I did not fully agree with."
Now, he believes in the change, he believes in marriage equality, he believes you can be gay and Christian. He's a believer of all things possible now, and realizes why the church singles out homosexuality as a "litmus test for True Christianity."

Murray Richmond:

Now I am wondering why, if two gay people want to commit their lives to one another, they should ever be denied that chance. No church or pastor should be forced to perform those ceremonies, and they can choose not to recognize gay marriage for their adherents. But the constitution of the Presbyterian Church does not explicitly forbid a pastor from being a thief, a murderer, or an egotistical jerk. It is not designed to do these things. It does prohibit a gay person from becoming a pastor. All I can ask is: Why?"
Welcome into the light, Murray, and keep spreading your words wherever you can.
He began to see how the churches use the anti-gay movement as a means to raise money for themselves, and he began to really look at the Bible, and how it talked about homosexuality, and he realized it wasn't as clear cut as he'd been taught, and as he'd once preached.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Just A Thought: Elizabeth Taylor

I haven't been able to get the death of Elizabeth Taylor out of my mind, reading all sorts of tributes and stories and rumors about her life, her death, her funeral, and her will.

One of the best stories, and I'm so hoping it's true, is that Elizabeth Taylor was actually 15 minutes late to her own funeral! Apparently, it was a habit for Taylor to always be 15 minutes late to everything, and she had it stipulated in her will that she arrive at her own funeral a quarter hour after it had started. A sense of humor even after she had left us.

But she was much more than that.

A lot of people talk about Princess Diana being the most famous woman ever, but now I think they might be wrong. I mean, Taylor was international news from the 1940s through to 2011, and, no doubt, way beyond that.

She was the most photographed woman, one of the most talked about, joked about, feted, honored, trivialized, sensationalized, and idolized. There was no one before her, and I cannot think of anyone like her.

One thing I found shocking was that she was survived by four children, ten grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. I knew she had children, though I didn't know it was four, and I never even thought about Elizabeth Taylor, Grandmother....Great Grandmother.

How is it that this women, this idol and icon, who was famous for almost seventy years, photographed over and over again, kept her private life private--at least as far as her children were concerned? We knew about the marriages, the lovers, the illnesses, the ups and the downs of a decades long career, but her family was private.

That says something about her. And it says something about us that we let her keep her family to herself.

And then there were her friends, many of them gay, and most of those closeted. She kept their secrets all of their lives and all of hers. She had been told a story by James Dean about how he was molested as a child, and he asked her to keep it a secret, and she did, long after he died, and until she, to, had passed.

One of her greatest friends was Rock Hudson. And when  he died of complications of AIDS--one of the first, and most well-known, in a list that is far too long--she didn't stay silent. She spoke out against the disease and what it had done to her friend.

She became an advocate, hell, she became the advocate for AIDS research, helping to found amfAR, and speaking out to everyone and everywhere, from Congress to the White House--helping to create the Ryan White Care Act--and everywhere in between.

She could have quietly donated money and let that be that, but she chose to stand up for us, when a lot of  us could no longer stand up for ourselves, and for when others wouldn't stand up for us. Or even with us.

And now she's gone.

I picture her, arriving in Heaven--or wherever she might be--being embraced by Rock Hudson, and all of those we've lost to the AIDS crisis, those men, women and children that she spoke about, and fought for, and loved. If there ever was to be a heroes welcome in Heaven, this woman deserves it.

Up there, and down here, too.

Just For Giggles: My Sister Is Not Gonna Like This

My sister is what you might call gullible.

Okay, she is gullible, no might about it.

True story: a few years ago, when I was out west visiting family, she asked how come I never look any older, and I politely, and rightly, explained, that The Gays are forbidden to age at the same rate as, well, Breeders.

She looked at me......she was ready to buy it....and then I laughed.


True story: when we were kids we lived in Sacramento, and every so often we'd take a family trip into San Francisco for the day. As we drove along Interstate 80, we passed though the low, sloping hills along the valley side of the coast range, where  a herd of cows could always be seen grazing.

As we passed the cows, my father told a story of how those particular cows are specially bred to graze along hillsides; the legs on one side of their bodies are shorter than the other, so they don't tip over on the hills. My dad said they simply walk around the hills, their shorter legs uphill, longer legs downhill, and graze in circles.

They are called Hill Cows, my dad said.

We all laughed.

Several years later--and by years I really mean years--we were on another trek to The City, and my sister had brought along a friend. Once more we passed the herd of cows grazing on the hillsides and my sister solemnly told her best girlfriend about the Specially Bred Hill Cows made for grazing on hillsides without tipping over.


We all howled at her, again and again, in fact, I'm laughing about it again today.

So, what does all this have to do with that picture up there? The one I spotted earlier today on Froggy's blog?

Well, out in California, on those same hills where the Hill Cows graze, there are windmills. And once, after the Hill Cow incident, my father tried convincing my sister that they are called windmill farms because the windmills are grown there.

And she almost bought it, until we spotted a cow grazing on a hillside.....

Jessica Verday: Gay Is SO Okay

Jessica Verday is an author; she has written three books, part of The Hollow Trilogy: The Hollow; The Haunted, Book 2 of The Hollow Trilogy; and The Hidden, Book 3 of The Hollow Trilogy.

As a lot of authors do, Jessica Verday submits stories to publishers of anthologies, one of those being the Wicked Pretty Things anthology. Unfortunately, at first for Jessica Verday, and subsequently for the publishers of the Wicked Pretty Things anthology, she ultimately pulled her submission from the book because she was told that she story she wrote....well, let's have Jessica Verday tell you in her own words.

Jessica Verday:
"I've received a lot of questions and comments about why I'm no longer a part of the Wicked Pretty Things anthology...and I've debated the best way to explain why I pulled out of this anthology. The simple reason?  I was told that the story I'd wrote, which features Wesley (a boy) and Cameron (a boy), who were both in love with each other, would have to be published as a male/female story because a male/male story would not be acceptable to the publishers. 
I'll try to keep the "not-so-simple" reason from becoming a rant and just sum it up by saying that that was SO Not Okay with me. I immediately withdrew my story and my support for the anthology.
There's a lot of misinformation and half-truths in the publishing world (like the fact that everyone thinks when you publish a book you're automatically BFF's with J.K. Rowling and you get to use her estate on the weekends because, hey, you're totally rich now, right?) and there's a lot that's outside of my control (like my cover design, the flap copy that goes on the book to describe it, how the book is advertised, and where it gets promoted in bookstores), but there's one thing that I can and always will be able to control, and that's the message I send to my fans by the stories I write.
And the message I want to send is this: You don't choose who you fall in love with and you don't choose to be gay.
We're constantly bombarded with messages from sick people who try to tell us that it's a choice or a lifestyle or an agenda. But Wesley and Cameron's story isn't an agenda or an issue. It isn't an "I have to prove something to the world" story. Wesley and Cameron's story is a love story. About one boy who loves another boy so much that when something bad happens to him, he'll do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs.
Just bittersweet, hopeful, first love. And I think the world needs more of that.
While I may not have intentionally written an "issues" story, in the real world this issue is very personal to me. I have gay friends, fans, and family and by allowing my story to be changed in that way I would be contributing to a great disservice to them, the entire LGBT community, and to readers in general. You are not wrong or a dirty little secret for being who you are. Love is beautiful and rare. When you find it, you should hold onto it and not let go. You should not be made to feel inferior.
Well said, Ms. Verday. Well said.
And here's hoping Wesley and Cameron's story finds it's way onto bookshelves, and those Kindle things. These are stories that a lot of us might like to read.
Jessica's Blog

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday Funnies: At Last!

Sunday Funnies Postponed

For some reason Blogger is f***ing with me this morning and will not display any Funnies.
No motherf***ing funnies!
I'll ::::sniff:::: be okay, and will try again later.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Caturday....With A Small Dose Of Dog[?]urday

Tuxedo and Max Goldberg like to sneak off for a 'nap'.
Yeah, that's it......nap.

My two handsome men!
Consuelo Roca Jones.
Hey, if she doesn't know I'm taking her picture,
I don't get the stink eye!

And speaking of stink eye, Tallulah was giving it
when I caught her playing with Consuelo's toy.

And Ozzo, poor Ozzo.
He begged not to be included on Caturday.

Happy Birthday Miss Ross

Today The Diva turns 67.
Happy Birthday Miss Ross!

I Ain't One To Gossip, But.......

Color me stunned, not purple.
See what I did there?
Anyhoooo, people were all speculatin' that James Franco was high when he hosted the Oscars this year; well, maybe not people, but I was. And now comes word that Whoopi Goldberg has admitted, on a video clip, that she was stoned when she accepted her Oscar in 1991 for her role in 'Ghost.'
Whoopi says, on that tape: "Smoking cigarettes and pot every now and then are my habits. And I thought, 'I've got to relax.' So I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown."
And then Miss Goldberg goes on to say that she was so surprised by her win that she was worried about getting onstage: "When [Denzel Washington] said my name and I popped up, I thought, 'Oh f---... okay, up the stairs... around to the podium... there's millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue."
And apparently she pulled it off because I don't remember anyone talking about that back in the day. Except for Whoopi's mother, who could tell her daughter was high by her "glistening eyes" and called to scold her.
Whoopi ends her nearly two-decade old video confession with her own PSA: "I know you're not supposed to admit that you smoke pot, but I don't drink alcohol. Just because I do it doesn't mean you should."
Whoopi Goldberg high.
Who knew?

Poor Hef.
It seems that 900-year-old Hugh Hefner's 24-year-old fiancee, Crystal Harris, is not exactly ready to settle down with her centuries old fiance. She is ALLEGEDLY cheating on her grandpa with Dr. Phil's son.
Hmmm, which is worse, marrying a man thirty-seven times your age, or having Dr. Phil as a father-in-law?
Witnesses--and by witnesses, I mean pool boys at the Playboy Mansion who scrub the Grotto free from herpes and hepatitis--say that Crystal and Jordan McGraw were cozying "up at the Chateau Marmont in LA" and that while Crystal was hoping to keep their romance low-key--lest Hef send out the Hit Bunnies--Jordan doesn't care; he'll fight a nine-hundred-year-old man.
Jordan seems to be following in his older brother's footsteps; his brother, Jay, is married to Playboy model Erica Dahm. And his father loves to spank Little Phil while ogling pictures of his daughter-in-law.
Crystal and Jordan met when Jordan became the producer of her album at the Organica record label. Jordan, however, was subsequently let go "for dating female clients under the label."
Daddy would be so proud.
Not Daddy Hef, Daddy Phil.

Well, after a tense week, where talk was that Charlie "Winning" Sheen might be returning to 2-1/2 Men, rumors are flying that Jeremy Piven will be taking over.
A source close to the situation, and I think it's Jon Cryer--says: “Jeremy is a great actor and a hot commodity, his name has come up a couple of times in talks about who, if anybody, could step into Charlie’s shoes.”
But, if CBS wants to hire Piven as the new Sheen, they might, um, want to talk to Piven. According to his people--and by people, i mean the ones who keep him from eating sushi [Google it]--“No one connected in any way with Jeremy knows anything about this and that would include Jeremy.”
I wouldn't be surprised if Sheen does get his job back, unless, during his current stage show, "My Mental Breakdown," or, um, "Charlie Sheen Live: My Violent Torpedo Of Truth" he continues to bash his show, his network, and the producers.
Money talks, even when it's talking about an insane drug addict.
Sidenote: I'm still waiting to hear from CBS about hiring me for the show, and then calling it, 'One Man, A Half Man, and A Homo'.
I smell Emmy!

Dina Lohan, Mom Of The Year, says that her daughter, pill-popping, chain-smoking, vodka-swilling, car-stealing, rehab-going, jail-living, Lindsay, never had any intention of agreeing to a plea deal and accepting guilt for allegedly stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice Beach jeweler.
Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Holley, kept on speed dial on every single Lohan phone, you know, just in case, has formally notified the LA District Attorney, and Judge Keith Schwartz, that Lindsay stomped her feet and said, "No deal! Now, let's go clubbing!"
Dina said her daughter never even entertained the idea of copping a plea. Which is true, because the only thing Lindsay ever entertained was a martini in a sippy cup. Dina says: "She was never going to plead guilty to a crime she didn't commit. All along Lindsay has never wavered regarding her innocence."
Lindsay never wavered, because she doesn't know what that means, All she knows, is that Mama Dina needs a new pair of shoes, and how's she gonna get them if her meal ticket is in jail?
How else can you explain the fact that Dina Lohan, with a straight face, thanks to Botox and Ketel One, actually said: "I saw the entire security tape, and it showed the necklace clearly being loaned to Lindsay. The jewelry store's only motivation was for publicity and profit."
Um, wow, Dina? Please to explain, how, if the necklace was clearly being loaned to Lindsay, she didn't bother to return it until the police got involved?
I don't know which is worse, the junkie jewel thief daughter, or the fame-whoring, living off my child mother.

Oh, this just screams trainwreck!
Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, just might be getting her own reality show.
I know!
Train...followed quickly by....wreck.
With rumors of drug addiction--Crack is wack--and a sex tape--How else am I gonna get famous--flying, the teenager might be laying her life bare on the small screen; Bobbi K even Tweeted the news.
“PS EVERYONE ! Guess what ?! _ we are currently in the process of meetings about starting my very OWN! RealityShow!!”
I mean, she did see Bobby and Whitney's reality show, didn't she? She saw how they came off as a couple of drug addicted hoarders, right/ She saw the fights, the arrests, the craziness fueled by all sorts of drugs, didn't she?
And she wants to do that, too.
Like Mama and Daddy, crazy don't fall far from the tree.
Bobbi K then sent another Tweet: “The world needs 2know me 4who I REALLY am_ U all will get 2see my everyday living_ walk with me thro startin my career. . EVERYTHING.”
Walk me thro startin' my career.
I have an idea, maybe in one episode, Bobbi K takes a spelling class.

'Dancing With The Stars'
Honey, no.
But, you know, with Kirstie Alley and her own special brand of wackadoo, it might be fun, if only for the feuds it starts.
It seems that Kirstie has struck back at late night host George Lopez on Twitter, after GLo likened Alley to a pig in a bit on his show.
Someone called WestCoastGal88 tweeted to Alley, "If you read my stream -- I just called George Lopez a PIG :)"
Alley quickly responded: "lol...a drunk pig...hehe."
This all started when Lopez made Alley the butt of a weight joke on Tuesday's Lopez Tonight: “She did a nice job. Her little hooves tapping away.” He then did a riff on the nursery rhyme, This Little Piggy Goes to Market, saying, “Before the show she went to the market. And then she had roast beef. And this is her going all the way home,” before playing a clip of a pig squealing “wheeeee” while riding in a car.
Not nice, GLo. not nice.
But, um, Kirstie, why you gettin' so pissy?
I mean, you did make an entire series about your weight when you did your "reality" show, 'Fat Actress', didn't you? If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and shut the refrigerator!

Jessica Biel doesn't let the grass grow under her vah-jay-jay, now, does she?
Roughly six minutes after being devastated that dumped her, Biel was spotted making out with man-whore Gerard Butler.
Wow. talk about an STD cesspool.
I know!
Apparently Biel and Butler are shooting a movie together in New Orleans and have become quite the Uglies Bumpers off-set. They were first spotted at a crew member’s birthday party, then, a couple of nights later, they went to get some Mexican food alone, starting drinking heavily, and left together.
Enchiladas + Pitchers of Margaritas = Roll in the hay.
They also had 'dinner'--insert your own euphemism here: ____--twice more later that week. Of course, both are denying their NoLa hook-up, and their reps are working overtime coming up with a different version of the "just friends" excuse.
A source--and by source, I mean the make-up gal who stands guard while Biel and Butler do the thrust and Moan--says: “They have never had dinner alone. They are always in a crew of people on the film."
So, it's group sex, then, eh?

In addition to being stupid--I mean, she carries cocaine in her cooch--and being a fame-whore--she once spent twenty minutes standing in front of an ATM machine because she spotted a camera--Paris Hilton is also ALLEGEDLY a racist.
It seems that the Hilton girls, Paris and the smarter one--which really isn't saying much, were at a club together--because, what else do they do--getting their jiggy on, when suddenly Paris looked into the camcorder her friend was carrying--because Paris documents every moment of her life so she can tell her gyno who she schtupped--and said: “We're like two n*****s.”
Oh, but she did--Google it.
I found this shocking, until I learned that LA Weekly has an excerpt from a new book written by Hollywood reporter Neil Straus, who interviewed Paris Skankton when she was 18, and he says this went down:
HILTON: I went out with that guy last night.
STRAUSS: Which guy?
HILTON: (points to an actor in Saving Private Ryan): We were making out, but then we went somewhere where it was bright and I saw that he was black and made an excuse and left. I can’t stand black guys. I would never touch one. It’s gross. (pauses). Does that guy look black to you?
STRAUSS: How black does a guy have to be?
HILTON: One percent is enough for me.
Wow, Paris Hilton.
Cooch full of coke, brain full of mush, and a mouth full of s**t.

You gotta love it when your boyfriend has your back.
Sarah Lane, an American Ballet Theater soloist, was Natalie Portman's double in 'Black Swan'. And she gave an interview to Dance Magazine in which she said 'Swan' producers, Fox Searchlight, asked her to stop talking to the media. She says the Fox people wanted everybody to think Portman did most of her own dancing.
That must have pissed Sarah off, especially when you add that Natalie never thanked her when she accepted her Oscar, so Sarah Lane is talking again.
But she isn't getting far, because Natalie's dance-trainer-choreographer-fiance-and-baby-daddy, Benjamin Millepied, is pirouetting to her defense:
"It was so believable, it was fantastic, that beautiful movement quality. There are articles now talking about her dance double [American Ballet Theatre dancer Sarah Lane] that are making it sound like [Lane] did a lot of the work, but really, she just did the footwork, and the fouettés, and one diagonal [phrase] in the studio. Honestly, 85% of that movie is Natalie."
Take that, Sarah! And, back to the chorus!

Poor Star Jones.
No one likes her.
Seriously, show of hands: who likes Star?
We all know that on the current season of Donald Trump's 'Ego Apprentice' Star, and 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' dive NeNe Leakes haven't been getting along. NeNe even went so far as to say that if Star was on fire, she wouldn't a spit ball her way.
And to pour salt into that wound, NeNe is now hanging around with one of Star's former flamers, er, flames, and ex-homo-husband, Big Gay Al.
I know! Dee-lish!
A source--and by source I mean NeNe, because who loves to gossip about NeNe more than NeNe--had this to say: "Star thinks it's pathetic that these two has-beens have teamed up together. NeNe knows how much pain and hurt, that man caused Star. For NeNe to suddenly befriend him tells you exactly what sort of woman she really is. Al will do anything to get back into the press, including hanging out with reality stars. But to be getting close and personal with a woman who has publicly stated she wouldn't spit on your ex-wife if she was on fire is just desperate."
Poor Star. She marries an ALLEGED homo, tells the world that he is ALLEGEDLY straight, and then dumps him, and now gets all aflame because her ex and her enemy are friends.
I mean, NeNe and Al might be good for each other. Every diva needs a homo to help with make-up tips, and if anyone needs makeup tips, it's NeNe.
Al? Show her how you do the smokey eye!