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I’ve said many times that we don’t shop at Walmart but this past weekend we went in to get some ink for the printer at home. And, while inside the store we bought some Boboli pizza crusts because this is the only store in Smallville that sells them. I also needed some Panko bread crumbs because I was making meat loaf—don’t judge, I lurve meat loaf—for dinner, and this is the conversation that went down as we looked for the bread crumbs; I said:
“Nope. Not on this aisle.” “How about the aisle with the baking things.” “Nope, not here either.” “What about the cracker aisle?” “Honey, we’re in freakin’ Walmart, every aisle is the cracker aisle. I could throw a stick and hit twenty crackers. Look! There goes one now!””
Uh huh.
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I’m nothing if not an equal opportunity abuser so here goes …
For those of you who believe the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden because he’s a Democrat but did not believe the sexual assault allegations against Justice Frat Boy because he’s a Conservative, shut up.
On the other side, those of you who think the woman who made the allegations against Biden should have spoken up sooner but stood by Dr. Blasey-Ford when she came forward after a couple of decades are just as hypocritical.
Just because the accuser is on the other side doesn’t make them right or wrong, and just because the accused is one the other side doesn’t make them innocent or guilty.
That said, holding a woman down and attempting to rape her is does not rise to the same level of assault as sniffing her hair and kissing the back of her head.
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.
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Back in 2006, when Pete Buttigieg was 24 years old, more than half of all Americans said they would be “very uncomfortable” or have “reservations” (19 percent) about a gay presidential candidate.
Cut to 2019, when 68% of Americans say they would be either enthusiastic or comfortable (54 percent) with a gay presidential candidate.
Times do change.
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The United States is cutting off aid to El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras after _____ blasted those countries for sending migrants to the United States.
So, he’s going to punish three countries because people have left those countries? Won’t that just make the people who stayed there want to leave?
And … if shutting down the border ends the issue of immigrants seeking asylum in this country then why did he shriek about a National Emergency? I mean, keep the border shut, and problem solved, right?
Well, except for that pesky trade business.
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Mitch McTurtle wrote an article for Politico entitled Time to Stop the Democrats’ Obstruction.
Seriously. This from a man who obstructed President Barack Obama from filling a Supreme Court seat and over 100 federal court seats.
Fuck off, Mitch.
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Okay, so we all know _____ has lied like 9,000+ times since waddling into the Oval office, but even this is a stunning bit of news. This week he said:
“My father is German, was German. Born in a very wonderful place in Germany, so I have a great feeling for Germany.”
Now, while Fred _____ is of German descent, and his father was a German immigrant, Fred _____ was born in New York.
But you know, a lie is just easier. Next up we’ll learn Melanie was born in Dayton.
Oops, I spoke too soon, because he just said that wind turbines cause cancer:
“They say the noise causes cancer.”
To be clear, wind turbines do not cause cancer, though some people blame the noise for causing a variety of other health ailments …claims that have zero scientific validity.
Again, contrary to the Fat Bastard, cancer is not caused by noises of any kind.
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This week Chicago elected Lori Lightfoot as its next mayor, defeating Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle. Lori Lightfoot is Chicago’s first black female mayor, and its first openly gay mayor, making Chicago the largest city to have elected an openly gay mayor.
And Satya Rhodes-Conway has become the first openly gay and second woman mayor in Madison, Wisconsin’s history.
The march goes on ….
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Today’s Hot Slab is Israeli model Ariel Ben-Attar, 23-year-old competitive fitness model and was named Mr. Israel.
I hear he likes long walks on the beach and snuggling.
I’m in …
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