As I’ve been saying, as the fight for marriage equality
heats up, and as more and more places around the world, and here at home, begin
legalizing same-sex marriage, we are going to see stronger resistance from
those who want to use their so-called faith to guide law.
Like in Iowa, where, by the way, marriage equality is legal,
Lee Stafford and his fiancé Jared Ellars had booked the Hotel Pattee for their
wedding, but the venue suddenly closed. Lee and Jared scrambled to find a new
place for their wedding, and came across the Gortz Haus in Grimes. The men
toured the facility together, and at the end of the tour they were asked if the
wedding was to be a gay wedding.
My stock answer is, “All weddings are gay affairs, aren’t?”
But the owner, Betty Odgaard, wondered if it was a ceremony
for two men, and when Lee said ‘Yes’ she said ‘No’.
"It's not from an angry place," said Betty
Odgaard, who says she’s a Mennonite. She says both she and her husband operate their
business on religious principles. "That decision is based on our religious
beliefs. We want to honor that. We want people to know that is our stand that
comes from our faith, our convictions. I think we should just stand by that no
matter what."
"The fact is [Odgaard] discriminated against us based on our sexual orientation. Iowa code says if you have a public accommodation, you can't discriminate based on sexual orientation."—Lee Stafford
And you can’t and you shouldn’t, but, again, I have a solution
to the problem: advertize your business as one that does not serve the LGBT
community. Hang a sign, place an ad, post it on a website. Let everyone know
that you will not allow your public business
to be rented to gay and lesbian couples.
If you wish to discriminate for any reason, let us know, and
we’ll go elsewhere; as I hope would everyone else.
That’s Iowa, where same-sex marriage is legal, so I was shocked
to hear that story. Not so much this next one … because it takes place in
Texas.
Monico Ramirez and Jonathan
Luna plan to get married in the near future and began looking for places to
hold their reception. They contacted an event venue called Grace Gardens and
asked about holding a reception, a party, not a wedding, but were denied.
“I went to check out Grace
Gardens," Ramirez said. "It was absolutely beautiful, and we decided
we wanted to have it there."
Ramirez and Luna began going
over contract details with a staff employee, and that's when they informed the
employee that they planned to have a same-sex reception.
"She just looked at us
weird," Ramirez said. "She took us to a lobby, and told us she had to
go speak with a manager, we stayed there 15 minutes. She came out and said 'I'm
sorry guys, but we are not allowed to have any services for same-sex
marriage.'"
Except the two men were not planning
a wedding at the venue, they were planning a party, a reception. And even if
they were planning some sort of wedding ceremony, what right does the business
owner have in deciding who can and cannot use their facilities.
Open to the public means just
that.
“When she told me that, I felt like somebody was throwing a bucket of water on me, it was kind of sad and embarrassing. I don't think it's right to be discriminated like that."—Monico Ramirez
Again, I say to Grace
Gardens, hang a sign, put up a billboard, take out an ad where you say, plainly
and simply, that while you are a public business you don’t cater to the gay
public.
Let us know, and we’ll make a
point of taking our money elsewhere.
That said, before some of you
get your panties in a bunch and tell me that either place has the right to
refuse services to anyone, just substitute the words gay couple with Black couple,
Jewish couple, Baptist couple, Menonite
couple. Then if you don’t have a problem with it, well, shut up anyway.
Or gnaw on this one: what would you think about a wedding venue, open to the public, but owned by a gay couple, who refused to cater straight weddings and receptions? Would that be right? Fair?
Discrimination is
discrimination, in Iowa, in Texas, anywhere, and if you don’t take a stand against
it, one day you might be the one turned away from a business and you’ll be
asking for help and won’t get it.
