I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Are some of the Kardastrophes going to jail? Well, I can dream … but apparently there’s news that the least talented Kardastrophe, Kylie Jenner may have ALLEGEDLY faked her way onto Forbes Billionaire list with the help of That Woman who is ALLEGEDLY being investigated for exaggerating the value of Kylie Cosmetics.

Kylie, who was twice named by Forbes as the world’s youngest self-made billionaire, was kicked off the list last week because, wait for it, like _____ she is not a billionaire. And now there may be an in-depth investigation into how her overall business is managed. Forbes says that financial filings with the Securities Exchange Commission show she may have been lying about her success.

Perhaps Kylie and That Woman could share a cell and do a podcast, Keeping Up with the Lying Media Whores?

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A while back we learned that true love had died when Pamela Anderson ended her twelve-day marriage to Jon Peters.

I still ache for their loss. But did their marriage die along with their love? Not according to Pammy who told The New York Times they were never married at all:

“I wasn’t married. No. I’m a romantic. I think I’m an easy target. And I think people just live in fear. I don’t know what all that was about, but I think fear really played a lot into it. It was just kind of a little moment. A moment that came and went, but there was no wedding, there was no marriage, there was no anything. I was in India and I went to this panchakarma cleanse, and I’d been gone for three weeks in this ayurvedic center, meditating, just so clear. I came back and VWOOM, within 24 hours, I saw Jon. It was like this little whirlwind thing, and it was over really quick, and it was nothing. Nothing physical. It’s just a friendship.  It’s like it never even happened. That sounds bizarre.”

Um, nope Pammy, it sounds like you’re desperately seeking attention since the last time you were relevant was when Tim Allen was relevant. She also used the interview to say she wanted to get married one more time—after her real three failures to Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and Rick Solomon:

“Just one more time, please, God. One more time only. Only! …Three marriages. I know that’s a lot, but it’s less than five.”

Oh Pammy, you know you wanna out JLo JLo. There’s bound to be another douchebag headed your way.

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Speaking of dead marriages, after months of speculation and baited breath we can now confirm that sexually fluid Julianne Hough and sexually tempted Brooks Laich are officially over  after nearly three years of marriage.

And while they have been apart during the pandemic—she self-quarantined with another man and he trolled the internet—they announced their separation in a joint statement … meeting they smoked a doobie and called TMZ:

“We have lovingly and carefully taken the time we have needed to arrive at our decision to separate. We share an abundance of love and respect for one another and will continue to lead with our hearts from that place. We kindly request your compassion and respect for our privacy moving forward.”

So much love …in divorce. That’s all … except Brooks., if you wanna come to my house dressed like that and lumberjackmeoff I wouldn’t argue.

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The other day, for a split second, I was Team Meghan McCain when she called Derek Chauvin, the police officer who murdered George Floyd a ‘murderer’ while her other View co-host called  Chauvin the man ‘responsible ‘ for Floyd’s death.

I was Team Meghan! And then this snippet of white privilege … until this week, from her apartment in a chi-chi New York City neighborhood Meghan Tweeted:

“My neighborhood in Manhattan is eviscerated and looks like a war zone. DeBlasio and Cuomo are an utter disgrace. This is not America. Our leaders have abandoned us and continue to let great American cities burn to the ground and be destroyed. I never could have fathomed this.”

How scary to not be able to get to Dean & Deluca for a charcuterie plate, except …

Kristen Bartlett—co-head writer for TBS’ Full Frontal with Samantha Bee—checked Meghan’s story and found, well, it to be lacking in veracity and Tweeted out a correction:

“Meghan, we live in the same building, and I just walked outside. It’s fine.”

And then another neighbor, Alison Greene, schooled McCain over The Twitter:

“Meghan, I also live in the same building and went for a walk both yesterday and this morning and it's fine.”

Meghan hasn’t responded to Kristen or Alison’s ALLEGATIONS of being a self-entitled rich white woman in American because, well, she’s a self-entitled rich white woman in America. ... whom I will start calling Karen McCain.

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Celebrities continue to show their support for the ongoing police brutality protests on social media, including newly pregnant Lea Michele who Tweeted her solidarity with Black Lives Matter:

“George Floyd did not deserve this. This was not an isolated incident and it must end. #BlackLivesMatter”

But then one of Lea’s former co-stars, Samantha Marie Ware, upper right, who played Jane on the sixth season of Glee, saw that Tweet and said, Oh no she di’in’t and then Tweeted out to the world the living hell that Lea Michele created on the set of Glee …uh, in ALL CAPS:

“LMAO REMEMBER WHEN YOU MADE MY FIRST TELEVISON GIG A LIVING HELL?!?! CAUSE ILL NEVER FORGET. I BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE THAT IF TOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY YOU WOULD “SHIT IN MY WIG!” AMONGST OTHER TRAUMATIC MICROAGRESSIONS THAT MADE ME QUESTION A CAREER IN HOLLYWOOD”

Oh dear … shiz in a wig?

Wig? Snatched… and then shit in. And it continued as more and more of Lea’s former co-stars took to The Twitter to, um, speak their truth. Amber Riley, who co-starred as Mercedes, posted this photo:

And here’s another from Dabier who guest-starred on an episode of Glee:

“GIRL YOU WOULDNT LET ME SIT AT THE TABLE WITH THE OTHER CAST MEMBERS CAUSE “I DIDNT BELONG THERE” FUCK YOU LEA”

But it wasn’t just Glee actors coming for Lea; her former co-star on the short-lived 2017 show, The Mayor, Yvette Nicole Brown, responded to Samey’s original Tweet with this dig:

“I felt every one of those capital letters.”

And then came Jeanté Godlock who was a ‘background’ actor, though Lea called them other names:

“did somebody say cockroaches? because that’s what she used to refer to the background as on the set of glee. but we grow up and we don’t stay background forever sooooo...”

Actress Angela Sauceda has her own less-than-gleeful tale:

“Been telling people this for years. I worked with her once. She literally would only speak to me through her assistant. Just not addressing my presence. She was two feet away.”

Now, to be fair, stories about Lea’s giant ego and rude behavior have been floating around for years, but it took her own BLM comment for many people of color who worked alongside Lea to say ‘enough’ … except for HelloFresh, the meal-kit company, for whom Lea had been a representative; they dropped her ad campaign saying:

“HelloFresh does not condone racism nor discrimination of any kind. We are disheartened and disappointed to learn of the recent claims concerning Lea Michele. We take this very seriously, and have ended our partnership with Lea Michele, effective immediately.”

And with no job to go to, Lea Michele has issued a faux-pology:

“One of the most important lessons of the last few weeks is that we need to take the time to listen and learn about other people’s perspectives and any role we have played or anything we can do to help address the injustices that they face.

When I tweeted the other day, it was meant to be a show of support for our friends and neighbors and communities of color during this really difficult time, but the responses I received to what I posted have made me also focus specifically on how my own behavior towards fellow cast members was perceived by them.

While I don’t remember ever making this specific statement and I have never judged others by their background or color of their skin, that’s not really the point. What matters is that I clearly acted in ways which hurt other people.

Whether it was my privileged position and perspective that caused me to be perceived as insensitive or inappropriate at times or whether it was just my immaturity and me just being unnecessarily difficult, I apologize for my behavior and for any pain which I have caused. We all can grow and change and I have definitely used these past several months to reflect on my own shortcomings.

I am a couple of months from becoming a mother and I know I need to keep working to better myself and take responsibility for my actions, so that I can be a real role model for my child and so I can pass along my lessons and mistakes, so that they can learn from me. I listened to these criticisms and I am learning and while I am very sorry, I will be better in the future from this experience.”

Hey Lea, howsabout a little less “perceived as insensitive” and a little more “I was a bitch and I’m sorry.”

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

A few weeks back we learned that the marriage of Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich isn’t so joyful. She came out as bisexual and then he said he wanted to explore his sexuality; out of a need to be helpful, I offered to help Brooks.

But now it’s worse … they’ve taken a page from Bruce and Demi, by self-isolating in separate states. While Brooks is in Idaho with their dog, Julianne is in LA … walking around with British actor Ben Barnes.

Yeah, this sounds like a stable union and, um, Brooks, again, if you need help with the exploration, I have some experience in that field.

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And Contagion Paltrow is back in the gossip for being an idiot. I know, nothing new, but still … It seems that  lifestyle “expert” Gwyneth Paltrow has donated a dress she wore to the Oscars once and it’ll be auctioned off for charity, But the rub is, it’s a dress Contagion herself has called ugly, so, yeah, why not auction it off …? She let everyone know with this:

“In an effort to focus on organizations providing food assistance, I have joined the All In Challenge which raising money for Meals On Wheels, No Kid Hungry, WC Kitchen, Feeding America, and America’s Food Fund. I am donating a dress I wore to the Oscars (and that holds great sentimental value!) which I will personally hand to you over a cup of tea or a glass of wine.”

In 2000, Gwyneth wore this plain Calvin Klein dress to the Oscars. No, not that pink-as-pale-dead skin nighty looking mess she wore the year before when she stole Cate Blanchett’s Oscar won Best Actress for Shakespeare in Love. This 2000 dress was a basic bitch dress that one might wear to a sixth-grade dance …and get laughed out of the room.

Yes; Contagion  decided to auction off that dress—which appeared on several Worst Dressed Lists—saying it’s a “good one to donate” because its “end of the 90s” style has since made a comeback. Is it, though? I mean, because back in 2013 when asked what she thought were her worst fashion moments, she said:

“Two that come to mind are looks I wore to the Oscars in 2000 and 2002. The first is the Calvin Klein. It’s an okay dress but not Oscars material. I chose it because I wanted to disappear that year.”

Honey, we wanted you to disappear, too. But which is it, a beautiful nod to the 90s coming back around again, or a nothing little thing that makes no impact?

Must be the latter because why else would you donate it to charity?

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I like Reese Witherspoon as an actress, kind of. I mean, not the Legally Blond Reese but the Big Little Lies Reese because she was kind of a bitch, so probably more like the real deal. But I did take issue with 2013 Reese—who might have been saved from embarrassment if she’d worn Paltrow’s dress and become invisible—when she and her husband, Jim Toth, were pulled over for driving like drinks and behaving like drinks in Atlanta.

Jim was arrested for DUI and failure to maintain a lane while driving and Reese was charged with disorderly conduct and perhaps for slurring to police officers who were cuffing her:

“Don’t you know who I am?”

“You’re drunk off her ass Reese Witherspoon.”

Well, Reese made an appearance on Jameela Jamil’s podcast, I Weigh with Jameela Jamil, in which Jamil asked her about that infamous run-in with the law:

“It was so embarrassing and dumb, but you know what—[it] turns out I breathe air. I bleed the same way. I make dumb decisions. I make great decisions. I’m just a human being. We’re all just the same as each other and we’re all trying to find what our special skills are. My special skill is storytelling but that doesn’t mean I’m a special person.”

Nice, but, um, Reese, while you’re human and we’re all human, I don’t think the vast majority of us, pulled over because our husband was so drunk he couldn’t stay on the road, and so drunk ourselves that, instead of saying ‘Sorry,’ we played the Fame Card.

That was all you, and it was pathetic.

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Ellen DeGeneres has the reputation of being the nicest woman on TV, but is she? Really? Ellen recently caught flak by claiming she felt like she was in jail for having to self-isolate in one of her many mansions, and now this:

Apparently numerous inside sources from Ellen’s show have given an inside peek at what it’s like working for her during the COVID-19 shutdown. And if they’re telling the truth, then Ellen might want to go ahead and get a hoodie made up that says, “Be kind to one another, with the exception of most of the people who work on my show.”

The core stage crew of Ellen is made up of roughly 30 employees, but since the show went audience-less about a month ago Ellen has been broadcasting from the Big House—well, one of her big houses—and conducting interviews with guests via satellite. So, only four core crew members are working on the remote broadcast, which means at least 26 are stuck at home and wondering what’s going to happen to them, but …

According to anonymous sources—employees who still work for the show and want to keep it that way—if they reach out to producers to inquire about work hours, pay, or questions regarding their mental and physical health they get no response. Morale got worse when the furloughed crew members heard that Ellen had ALLEGEDLY hired a non-union company to assist with her at-home broadcast, instead of bringing back her unionized crew members.  To make matters worse, while Ellen is making a little more money hiring non-union workers, her employees will be taking a 60% pay cut.

Why do that, Ellen? To avoid paying your employees and line your pockets with extra coins? Doesn’t seem so nice now, does she? On the upside, as soon as reports surfaced about the crew having their wages cut—while Ellen took no such pay decrease—producers suddenly announced that the pay cut was over, and the crew would receive their back pay.

Ellen ALLEGEDLY makes $50 million a year from her TV show and is worth an estimated $330 million. Surely, she could afford to take a little pay cut and help out her crew? Like Jimmy Kimmel, who has been paying his furloughed stagehands out of his own pockets.

Maybe Jimmy should be hailed as the Nicest Person in show business and Ellen should be placed in the Scrooge McDuck category.

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On the most recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes 35-year-old Khloé Kardastrophe talked about wanting more babies and suggested that maybe she would need to “borrow” sperm from the father of her baby daddy and serial cheater Tristan Thompson, to make a new baby sibling for little True.

First off, you dim bulb, lay off the fillers. When you child grows up, she’ll look nothing like your plastic face and wonder if you’re her real mommy.

Secondly, if you borrow sperm that means you have to give it back. I guess your education didn’t reach that far.

Thirdly, by all means make another baby with a man who cheated on his first baby mama with you, while she was pregnant, and then cheated on you with another woman while you were pregnant.

Keep making those good choices, hon, you’re a role model for famewhores everywhere.

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Earlier this month when we learned that Bruce Willis was quarantining in Idaho with his ex-wife Demi Moore and their adult children while his current wife, Emma Heming Willis and their two young daughters  were in Los Angeles. And Demi-Bruce spawn, Scout, one of the older girls, is explaining things:

“It’s been so funny because to me they’re just like my super fucking weird parents but to everyone else, they’re at this different level. “It’s actually been really cool. My stepmom was supposed to come up here with my little sisters but my younger sister, who is now about to be [6] years old, at a park, had never gotten the talk about not fucking with hypothermic [sic] needles that she found so she actually tried to poke her shoe with it and poked her foot. So, my stepmom had to be in LA waiting to get the results from taking her to the doctor so my dad came up here and then travel got crazy, so my stepmom stayed in LA with my little sisters.”

Look, I‘m’a admit something: I rarely lie, though I can make up a good story, but I am a good liar. Thing is, you gotta keep it simple because you start embellishing and the details overwhelm the lie.

So, um, Scout, WTF kinda park does your stepmother take her child to that has hypodermic needles on the ground? And how is a six-year-old left alone long enough to touch the needle and then stick herself with it? And if Bruce was already in Idaho when this happened, and he’s been in Idaho since March, why didn’t he just drive his back to L.A. when he learned that his daughter might have contracted hepatitis or worse from stabbing herself in the foot with a used syringe?

Yeah, Scout, that’s a nice try …

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Rihanna seems to be treading in LeAnn Rimes territory lately, getting caught up in an online ‘battle’ with a fan.

It seems that an Instagram user ms_kasharna1 responded to a picture of Rihanna and a relative with "I swear everyone in Rihanna’s family looks like they’re retarded… Must be the drugs and alcohol!”

Not nice; rude, actually. Stupid, definitely. But then Rihanna, never know to take the high road lest she’s actually high, responded by uploading an image to her Instagram of a goat and ms_kasharna1 , and then asking her followers to ‘spot the difference’. She also posted the picture on her Twitter feed, which is nearing 29.5 million followers.

To her credit, ms_kasharna1 deleted all of her Instagram photos, though on Twitter she continues to go after Rihanna:  “Rihanna looks so dirty!!! Like she hasn’t showered in days!”

Like I said, not nice, rude actually, stupid definitely, but, really, Rihanna? Did you have to respond? Did you have to sink to that level? Did you have to take it into the street?

Way to go, RiRi. I’ve changed my mind; you and Chris Brown are perfect for each other.

Look at Janice Dickenson, the self-declared World’s First Supermodel-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L!

She used to be gorgeous, then she apparently fell in love with plastic surgery and the need to [she thinks] look forever young.

She has admitted to being a plastic surgery whore and a friend of The Bo, but then she went into Face-lifting and Lip Injections and now she looks like a plastic version of herself that has been left out in the hot sun too long.

But, to listen to her talk about her surgeries in laughable:

“I had my boobs done when I was 32. Back in the Jurassic era!  I had a tummy tuck and face-lift – and so has every other woman in Hollywood! Sue me. I do Botox and Restylane. I don’t get anything in my cheeks, though. I have perfect bone structure. And my lips are mine.”

Uh huh. Methinks the photos tell another story.

“I don’t think my appearance has changed. I just think my face has matured. Do Halle or Julia or Meryl still look the same? No!”

Um, they at least look like themselves, though Janice.

Knock it off.

Need proof that The Gays can have as disastrous a marriage as The Straights, then look no further than David Tutera, of TVs My Fair Wedding.

It seems that Tutera has filed for d-i-v-o-r-c-e from his husband on ten years, Ryan Jurica, and he wants full custody of the unborn twins that are growing in a surrogate's womb right now, and then it got ugly.

Ryan Jurica is making all sorts of nasty claims about his wanna-be-an-ex-husband. See, two days before David filed papers in L.A., Ryan filed his owner papers in Connecticut and said that their 10 year marriage died, because David is addicted to, um, rent boys, er,  leased dick. Ryan claims the couple went to a therapist to make it work, but it didn’t work because David would come home smelling like Rent-a-whore.

Just like David, Ryan wants full custody of their unborn twins, though he admits that while David earns about a million a year, he doesn’t make a dime because he didn’t work while they were married. Then, I guess hoping it makes him look like the better parent, he says after David left him, he turned to The Drink and was forced to spend time in rehab. He has also been arrested once for DWI and once for being drunk in public.

Seriously, these two prove that The Gays can be just as dysfunctional and disgusting in marriage as The Straights; in fact, aren’t they just The Gay version of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller?

So, Not-Gay-And-In-The-Closet Ryan Seacrest and Not-Beard Julianne Hough broke up.

Color me surprised. As surprised as I was when David Gest dumped Liza, or Liza dumped David; whatever.

The Seacrest-Hough [pronounced Seacrest-Huff, not the more amusing Seacrest-Ho] split occurred in mid-March after the two had been ‘dating’ for two years and the break-up seems to have taken.

Now, as if to prove he has come to terms with being dumped, comes news that Ryan has purchased a $3 million LA home for Hough. Seriously? Now, why oh why would someone buy their ex—he bought the house well after the breakup—a mansion unless, included in the mortgage, was a Silence Clause. As in don’t tell people that Ryan really swings the other way.

A former pal of the American Idol host says that, despite his goody-two-shoes-Dick-Clark-in-the-making image, Seacrest has some unusual appetites in the boudoir region, and so, to avoid having the exes spill the beans, he buys them $3 million worth of quiet.

Man, a $3 million house is an excellent return on a two-year relationship investment.

So, we talked David Tutera and Ryan Jurica, now let’s dish on their Straight Counterparts, Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen.

It seems that Child protective Services came to Brooke’s house and found it more of a drug den than a home and removed her twin boys—the one’s she had with her husband, Charlie Sheen before he pulled a knife on her—from the home. And they took the boys to Charlie’s house.

No. They didn‘t. Rather than take the boys to their father’s house after discovering their mother is a drug mule, the authorities actually gave Brooke and Charlie’s boys to his other ex-wife, Denise Richards.

Now, Brooke’s in hospital for drug abuse issues… again….for the, and this is not a lie or an exaggeration, the twentieth time…and after detoxing, she’ll move to a residential treatment center. Then she’ll get out and do it all over again.

Sad, really, but even sadder still is that, after Brooke entered rehab again, Denise and Charlie attended an emergency custody hearing to review the boys’ placement. The judge agreed that they should stay with Denise, who is already a single mom to three daughters under 10, and the boy’s father, Charlie, has agreed that the best place for his sons.

Not with him. With his ex-wife who isn’t their mother. Now, this may appear pathetic that he doesn’t even want his own sons, but I will commend him just this once for knowing that he is such an over-top- fuck up that he realizes his children would be better off with Denise.

Still…..anyone can have a child, or twins, these days.

I know she’s all locked up at the Betty Ford Center, but Lindsay Lohan’s crack-tivities are keeping her in the news.

It seems that Lohan doesn’t like the BFC and is trying to finagle a change of venue to a more productive rehab facility in Hawaii. Does she think she can switch rehabs like people switch hotels? Well, here’s why she hates the BFC:

She has to get up at 6:30 every morning and do chores like dress herself and make her bed and comb her weave.

She still gets to take her Adderall, but BFC doctors are evaluating Lindsay’s diagnosis and the efficacy of the drug. If doctors disbelieve her diagnosis or the usefulness of Adderall, they will cut her off.

Unlike her last stint at the BFC, Lohan will get no Day Passes to go clubbing and shopping and drug scoring.

Still, one problem with the BFC is that they only offer 30 day treatments, so Lohan might have to do the same 30-day program three times in a row. Sidenote: Lohan’s former lawyer, never paid, but hired back, Shawn Holley insists that Betty Ford does offer longer programs.

So hard to be a drug addict and stuck in rehab where you can’t party and lay by the pool all day.

If I ever go to rehab, I wanna go to a Four Season one, on a beach, with hot cabana boys.

You gotta love Robin Williams. After he, and the rest of the world, caught sight of that hideous outfit Kim Kardashian wore to the Met Ball, he Tweeted that picture: "I think I wore it better."

But, even funnier than his Tweet is the news that it was Kanye who picked out the dress for Kim. Seriously, he wanted his Baby Mama to look like a couch in a whorehouse?

Funnier still, is word that Kanye was “annoyed” and “embarrassed” that she altered it by removing the belt and adding sleeves. Yeah, a belt would have helped. Not.

And, finally, funniest of all, is that on Vogue’s website, where they featured all the Met Ball guests, they included Kanye West but basically erased the Kash Kow from sight. So what you have is Kanye holding a disembodied hand, and Kardashian MIA in the photo and in the entire gallery.

Other couples photographed together remain intact. Kardashian was the only one cropped out.

I giggle.