Saturday, March 30, 2019

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....


Joe Alwyn does not want to be a “celebrity.”

Joe Alwyn is an actor, having appeared in Mary Queen of Scots, Boy Erased and The Favourite, but again, Joe Alwyn does not want to be famous.

Joe Alwyn is dating Taylor Swift.

Huh; he’s an actor dating a pop star and he doesn’t want to be famous?

Go away, then, Joe Alwyn.
I kind of enjoy when a celebrity puts their foot in their mouth, and when it’s someone like Barbra Streisand, it’s even better.

Last week, Streisand said that while she absolutely believes Michael Jackson’s Leaving Neverland accusers, James Safechuck and Wade Robson, she also wonders what’s the big deal:
“[Jackson’s] sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has. You can say ‘molested’, but those children, as you heard say (the grown-up Robson and Safechuck), they were thrilled to be there. They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them.”
Being raped didn’t kill them so let’s just move on? Is that it, Babs? But then she dug in deeper, blaming the parents of the boys:
“It’s a combination of feelings. I feel bad for the children. I feel bad for him. I blame, I guess, the parents, who would allow their children to sleep with him. Why would Michael need these little children dressed like him and in the shoes and the dancing and the hats?”
Barbra doesn’t get it because there are people dressed like her, in her shoes, dancing in her hats, and they are all grownup people, not young boys being groomed for a pedophile’s bed chambers. And so, as happens when celebrities flap their lips without so much as a thought—though OI expect more from Streisand—she issued a “clarification”:
“To be crystal clear, there is no situation or circumstance where it is OK for the innocence of children to be taken advantage of by anyone. The stories these two young men shared were painful to hear, and I feel nothing but sympathy for them. The single most important role of being a parent is to protect their children. It’s clear that the parents of the two young men were also victimized and seduced by fame and fantasy.”
Nice, but really, she should have said:
“I uttered some stupid shiz because I forgot that these were children being raped by a grown man and you NEVER blame the victim, or anyone other than the perpetrators.”
Then she should just shut up and sing.
Dr. Dre posted an Instagram—since deleted, go figure—over the weekend, of him and his 18-year-old daughter Truly holding her college admissions sheet for USC, with this message:
“My daughter got accepted into USC all on her own. No jail time!!!” 
A funny joke when you consider the scandal of well-to-do-parents paying thousands, and hundreds of thousands, of dollars to get their kids into college.

Now, to be fair, Dre didn’t bribe anyone or commit fraud or anything like that, but he did, along with his long-time business partner, Jimmy Iovine, donate $70 million to … you guessed it … USC.

That donation was made in 2013, so it was not a direct and obvious quid pro quo to get his daughter into college, but still …
Remember Mel B went to rehab for sex addiction, having had a very intense and open and populated sexual relationship, er, relationships, during her recently ended marriage. And so, you’d think the last thing she’d want to yap about is her sexual proclivities, but, well, you want that press and so you take your business into the street.

Mel B was doing an interview with Piers Morgan, about that upcoming Spice Girls Minus Posh reunion tour, and spilled a sexual secret; a secret she, oddly enough because you know she needed the coins, never told in her memoir, Brutally Honest. She and Geri Halliwell went there:
“She’s going to hate me for this because she’s all posh in her country house and her husband. But it’s a fact. It just happened and we just giggled at it and that was it … We were best friends. It just happened. Have you ever done that? … Yeah and I’ve said it now. All done. She’s going to kill me and so’s her husband. She’s not that posh now, is she?”
And perhaps Geri might actually kill her because sources—and you know its Mel B because she never met a rumor she didn’t want to ride—are saying that after the show, Mel started calling Geri to explain what she’d done.

Oh Mel, you literally need to keep your mouth closed.
After successfully ignoring the mad ramblings of Jose Canseco, who accused Alex Rodriguez of having an affair with his ex-wife, A-Rod and his fiancĂ©-for-now JLo are facing new accusations of infidelity on his part.

Former Playboy bunny and current fitness coach/model Zoe Gregory claims that A-Rod was soliciting her for weeks and sent a dick pic as recently as 6 weeks prior to his engagement. Zoe provided a detailed account of A-Rod’s solicitations which she claimed occurred between December 26, 2018 and January 22, 2019 where he “was being like a dirty dog” and that “he seemed like a needy, horny bloke”. Zoe also claims A-Rod sent her a selfie “showing just his penis and his muscly thigh”.

Zo, who is British, may not realize that what he sent her wasn’t a selfie, but a dick pic. But he also showered her with compliments on her curvy figure and 36DD boobs; a WhatsApp message ALLEGEDLY sent from A-Rod says:
“Are you still thinking of your three names of fun girls for us?”
In another, he asks Zoe if her pal is “down” for a rendezvous, adding:
“She hot? Fun? How many times have you been with her?”
And, in addition to dragging A-Rod—and, to be fair, if this is true, he deserves to be dragged—Zoe has only love for JLo:
“J-Lo is amazing and she doesn’t deserve this. While getting ready to marry her, he was asking me for sex videos, demanding we hook up and asking me to make arrangements with other girls. If he is doing this right up until the point he is proposing to her it is just not fair.”
I can think of other ways to describe other than “not fair”.
Earlier this week Elisabeth Hasselbeck returned to The View to hawk a book she’d ‘written’ and to spill the tea about the crush Rosie O’Donnell had on her when they worked together.
And it was a story about The View, for a book by Ramin Setoodeh that had Rosie being quoted as saying she had a “little bit of a crush on Elisabeth” and that were “underlying lesbian undertones” to their feud.

Um, okay, but then you just know religious wingnut Hasselbeck went nuts over that story and said:
“Rosie, I think it was disturbing to read those things and it was offensive to me, but … I totally forgive you, Rosie. … I really hope that we can be at peace and that we can both hold our beliefs in one hand and hold each other’s hand in the other and still have a relationship that’s at peace. … Even more than I want to be at peace with her, I hope she finds that peace because God wants that for her too.”
End sermon. I am annoyed that Hasselbeck is so offended by the idea that someone might have thought she was a lesbian, or that a lesbian might have had a crush on her.

Grow the eff up. But I’ll save some wrath for Rosie and her blustering ways because she said, of the ALLEGED CRUSH:
“I think there were underlying lesbian undertones on both parts. I think this is something that will hurt her if you write it. She was the MVP of a Division 1 softball team for two years that won the finals. There are not many, in my life, girls with such athletic talent on sports teams that are traditionally male that aren’t at least a little bit gay.”
Way to lump every single female athlete into the Lesbian Boat, Ro. As if we don’t get enough stereotyping from others, you’re gonna add to it?

Grow the eff up. But Rosie saw Hasselbeck’s interview, and she raised her a Tweet storm:
“hey eh - my crush on u was not sexual - sorry u got scared - surely u recall b4 it all went wrong - i never objectified u - i did find u fantastic - broadway shows - my pool -we were friends once god love ya kid - i always did.”
Still, Rosie, you tried to link a rabid religious wingnut with being a lesbian and we all know those things don’t go together because God Hates Fags.

And Hasselbeck hates being thought of as one, if even for a moment.

Friday, March 29, 2019

PR 17 Ep 3: The Fabrics Formally Known As Prints

I’d say SPOILER ALERT, but I won’t mention a name yet, so I’ll save the spoils for later …

It seems every reality show has an episode where one contestant tells us how hard the show is, and how much they miss their family, and they didn’t expect this much stress …after auditioning for the show, watching the show, being taken from your family like an immigrant child, being forced to room, albeit in a New York penthouse, with strangers!

My heart bleeds.

We start off with Bishme congratulating Hottie Sebastian on his win and telling him that Sebastian’s work makes Bishme step up his game. That was a nice moment. Also nice, and Zen, was Kovid mediating on the terrace; after last week’s near miss at going home, he needs to step it up, put last week behind him, and move on … to dancing and singing and butterflies.

On the runway Karlie Kloss delivers the challenge: patterns and prints are all the rage, she says, in head-to-toe looks. So, this week, the designtestants must create a print outfit, ab editorial print outfit, from one print, in a head-to-toe, put that print everywhere, kind of way.

Most designtestants are thrilled, but Tessa leads the “I don’t work in prints” whine, which doesn’t bode well. Also sent to terrify her is this week’s Mentor Part 2, stylist Marni Senofonte, who has never met a mixed fabric she didn’t want to wear all at once. And so, she will be helping the designers to style their looks, making sure the print theme is the only theme.

Let’s rip ….
THE SAFES
Top Row, left to right: Afa was smart using both sides of the print. It’s not so editorial but it’s cool and well made. Bishme called the hat a Pringle and now I’m hungry. I liked the look, but I wish the cape had been lined. Jamall’s print screams blanket, but I like the design, though, again, it’s not so editorial. Lela’s look was giving me matron in the psych ward in a 50’s melodrama starring a C-list actress.

Bottom Row, left to right; Renee’s look was the winter coat version of Lela’s. Sonia’s print was so cool, though the look was not; her model, however, earned raves from Nina and Brandon. Tessa is a minimalist and doesn’t do prints and so she chose a minimal print. I just wish she’d done something with the shoes. Venny’s look is sleek and elegant and, while covered up, sexy as heck. But is it editorial? No, honey, no.
THE BOTTOMS
NADINE
At the outset, Nadine is pissed off … dishes in the sink, nobody cleans up and she got a plus-sized model. And you know, prints on a plus-sized model are the worst, according to Nadine. My issue, though, is she’s a designer, and as such, wouldn’t she know the right print to pick, and shouldn’t she be able to create a print garment that is flattering on a curvy girl? Isn’t that her actual job?

But still she vents …and model blames, and shames. She says she loves her outfit but doesn’t like it on her model … “You’re tall enough. You’ve got long legs. You’re supposed to be able to take some long strides. You’re moving your shoulders too much” … and goes all drill instructor, ordering the model to practice at home. But, is it the model …?

Christian says she needs to make it encourages her to make it "modern Golden Girls" and he calls it “waist heavy” but Nadine disagrees and then says “curvy girl” for the thousandth time, while Christian suggests she celebrate the curves.

WHAT SHE SAID
Here I come … it could have been better, with the way the pants fall over the shoes [but] she’s not a very good walker.

WHAT I SAID
Don’t blame the model, blame that hideous print and those hideous pants and that why-is-it-there hood.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Brandon calls out Nadine for explaining her own look, her own design, her own print choices, on a curvy girl. Nina hates the balloon pant and the leggings and thinks the look seems “improvised”; she also questions Nadine’s taste. Karlie was also offended that Nadine blamed it all on her model, who agreed, saying, “It did feel like was insinuating that since she had a curvy model, she couldn’t reach her full potential as a designer.” Guest judge, designer Adam Selman says none of it works and he gets dizzy looking at it. As Nadine grows defensive, Elaine reminds her that the critiques are there to help, and they want to lift the designer up … and perhaps off the show?

RAKAN
He’s a mind made up guy; at Mood he picks a boring houndstooth print and when Christian says he might want to go bolder, Rakan rebuffs him and sticks with his first choice. And it might have worked except for the design. But Rakan says the fabric reminiscent of his grandmother and for that reason it stays.

And becomes a very long jumpsuit with ruched legs and arms and the idea of it all overwhelms Christian … “There’s a jacket happening?” He also worries that the look seems a little, um, old. And, as with Christians concerns about the print, Rakan is not having this critique and it ends up looking like two people with nothing in common sharing a meal.

WHAT HE SAID
She looks fabulous. I love the volume of the pants and the drape.

WHAT I SAID
It just looks patched together. I know there aren’t safety pins but I’m feeling like this is a pinned together mess.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Elaine wondered why that print, if it was, in fact, an actual print, and Adam was onboard with the whole Not A Print line. Brandon was confused by the messiness of it all and gave us a Michael Kors-worthy quote: IT looks like the cat got lost in the drapes.” Nina thinks there are “stellar”—like the back of the jacket but calls the pants “unexplainable.” Karlie thinks the knees are odd—safety pins?—and calls the whole look “monotone.”

GARO
Garo loves this challenge since he used to be into the rave scene where everyone was in “stripes and crazy prints” and he’s the New York designer, and he’s picking a bold stripe while the others are going mellow, and he has this.

Which is PR code for, he does not have this. But his ideas seemed valid; he was going to match the stripes, miter the stripes, and create a whole new pattern, but then I think he kinda fell short.

WHAT HE SAID
I think it looks pretty good … the corkscrew sleeve. I know I’m not in the bottom.

WHAT I SAID
The stripes could have been good, and cool and edgy, but these look like prison stripes washed in hot water with a red sweater that bleeds.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Elaine hates the print, though she wasn’t so mad at the superhero pants. Adam thought the fact that it was the boldest, though most dated, print on the runway worked against Garo because there was so much going on. Brandon thinks it’s less raver and more “jazzercise” and if it is from a rave, he wants the drugs to wear off as he stares at the mitered crotch. Nina thinks it crossed the line from kitsch to costume but admits that Garo has ideas.
THE TOPS
SEBASTIAN
Sebastian has immunity, but he wants a win nonetheless, and so he came to slay. He picked a somewhat “safe” print, and a flimsy one at that, but he’s created structure and folds and flowiness to the look.

And, to be fair, I find him delicious. His smile and his accent; he’s like Carlos, with fashion sense.

WHAT HE SAID
My model looks perfect.

WHAT I SAID
It’s really very good; sexy and chic, and the way he put the fabrics on the shoes was the best out of all the designers.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
When the look comes out, Brandon says, “He can make a damn garment” and thinks it’s “technically perfect.” Nina loved that he had immunity and yet still delivered a “wow,” “sophisticated,” “elegant” look; she said all it needed was a price tag and it could be sold in stores. Karlie loved the detail, and the revealing removal of the skirted piece. Elaine thought it floated down the runway and looked like a “queen.” Adam thinks its “drag and glam in the best way” and is really major; Sidenote: I hate the use of the word major like this, but I’m’a let it slide because … Sebastian. And they’re all astounded that Sebastian is actually a housekeeper to support his design work.

HESTER
Like Garo, Hester thinks this is her challenge to lose, because she is all about the editorial look and the editorial print. But, as we learn, she has been smacked down in the industry by teachers and others who don’t like her madcap style. I was one of those people because I think the way she dresses and styles herself is kind of a mask to keep people at bay. But her style is how she designed this week and it was a smart choice.

Mentor Marini likes the idea—which Hester calls “City girl Little Red Riding Hood punk rock picnic basket"—but suggests Hester put fabric on the think boots so they don’t distract from the look. Christian also likes it, likes that it’s definitely Hester, but warns her that it needs to be refined and not subjected to last minute sewing.

WHAT SHE SAID
It’s one of my proudest moments ever.

WHAT I SAID
It’s a little My Italian Restaurant table cloth, but, damn, it’s fun.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Elaine raves, “This is you! This is the girl I’ve been waiting for since I met you. It is quirky, playful and fun.” Nina thought it was “pure sunshine” and could be featured in Elle right now. Adam is “gagged” and “blown away” and loves that it’s real clothes. Brandon tells her to shut out the naysayers and “lean into” her own style. And Brandon encourages her to lean into who she is and not to let the haters get her down.

KOVID
After his meditation, Kovid is back, singing, dancing, chirping, as usual. And he’s ready for a print challenge and at Mood he goes really bold. Marni loves his aesthetic and his ideas—Korean and Japanese style—and suggests he create a hospital mask reminiscent of what many people in Japan wear in public. It’d be that editorial edge the look needs. Christian’s only complaint/worry is that Kovid needs to work faster to make sure he’s done.

I suggest a wee bit less singing and prancing, and more time at the Brother sewing machine?

WHAT HE SAID
I’m feeling so, so energized … so satisfied. It’s exactly what I envisioned.

WHAT I SAID
It’s my favorite print, but the mask is a look. My one complaint, though, and it’s with most of the looks, with so much print it’s hard to see the design.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina loves the bold of the print and the 3D appliques you can see close-up. Karlie called it a great comeback after last week. Brandon’s first thought was that the model was sick, but sick in a good way, in a sick outfit; he calls “the whole thing is perfect.” Adam loved Kovid’s enthusiasm in both mannerisms and design.

Y’all know I was rooting for Sebastian, for both good reasons and hot reasons, but the win this week went to Hester, who I think deserved it.

As for the loser, clearly, based on attitude and design and model blaming, it was Nadine’s time to go. And she knew it, too, because after the critique her first words were:
“I don’t give a f*ck … Them bitches can send me home, I really don’t care.”

And now neither do we Nadine. Bye Felicia.

Nadine saying she wanted to leave, and that she doesn’t care, was pure bull shiz. She played the “miss my kids” moment…the “do the dishes” card … the “my model ruins everything” attitude, but in the end, it was her own design that sent her packing.

I almost miss Cavanagh. I kid.

Also, Karlie trying to say Goodbye while Nadine just walks off. Oh, girl your lack or professionalism is showing on effing television. Good luck you’re your future endeavors.

And we all know Brandon loves a reveal on the runway, but can we pare them down so not every look has one?

I’m thinking that Christian’s line:
“You’re killing me.”
Might be the new ‘Make it work.’

In case you didn’t know, Adam Selman designed Rihanna's stunning nekkid dress.

And, not just because of the crush, I’m high on Sebastian, Tessa, Afa and Kovid. Hester is on the rise if she stays true to herself. I think Lela and Sonia, who get the Invisible Edit a lot, might be going soon, along with Rakan. Garo needs to step up; Renee needs to settle; Venny and Jamall and Bishme need a win.

Next week, the designtestants go camping, have an outdoor runway show, and it’s an Unconventional Challenge.

I see crashing and burning.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ....

Adam Schiff, Democratic congressman from California, to the GOP in Congress doing _____’s bidding by demanding he resign because he’s long claimed that evidence of _____’s collusion with Russia:

“My colleagues might think it’s OK that the Russians offered dirt on the Democratic candidate for president as part of what’s described as the Russian government’s effort to help the _____ campaign.
My colleagues might think it’s OK that when that was offered to the son of the president, who had a pivotal role in the campaign, that the son did not call the FBI, he did not adamantly refuse that foreign help—no, instead that son said he would ‘love’ the help with the Russians.
You might think it was OK that he took that meeting.
You might think it’s OK that Paul Manafort, the campaign chair, someone with great experience running campaigns, also took that meeting.
You might think it’s OK that the president’s son-in-law also took that meeting.
You might think it’s OK that they concealed it from the public.
You might think it’s OK that their only disappointment after that meeting was that the dirt they received on Hillary Clinton wasn’t better.
You might think it’s OK. I don’t.
You might think it's OK that [Flynn] secretly conferred with a Russian ambassador about undermining US sanctions & then lied about it to the FBI.
You might say that's all OK—that’s just what you have to do to win... I think it's corrupt & evidence of collusion.
You might think it’s OK that the president’s son-in-law sought to establish a secret back channel of communication with Russians through a Russian diplomatic facility.
I don’t think that’s OK.
You might think it’s OK that an associate of the president made direct contact with the GRU through Guccifer 2.0 and WikiLeaks.
You might think it’s OK that a senior campaign official was instructed to reach that associate and find out what that hostile intelligence agency had to say, in terms of dirt on his opponent.
You might think it’s OK that the national security adviser-designate secretly conferred with a Russian ambassador about undermining U.S. sanctions, and you might think it’s OK he lied about it to the FBI.
You might say that’s all OK, that that’s just what you need to do to win.
But I don’t think it’s OK.
I think it’s immoral, I think it’s unethical, I think it’s unpatriotic and, yes, I think it’s corrupt, and evidence of collusion. I do not think that conduct, criminal or not, is OK,” concluded Schiff. “The day we do think that’s OK is the day we will look back and say that is the day America lost its way.”

Damn. That is just about perfection.
Sally Field, mother of a gay son, Sam Greisman, and an advocate for LGBTQ rights, standing up for the Equality Act:

“Sam’s journey was a different one that his older brothers’. Being with him, watching him finally be able to be all that nature intended him to be … It was not an easy road for him. He wanted to be like his big brothers and nature had given him other gifts. This is change that isn’t just about the government. It would be the government making such an important move to change how people think altogether. As long as I am upright, I will fight for this to be—that Sam and everyone’s children and grandchildren and sisters and brothers will be protected in every state of the United States.”

It’s equality. What’s so wrong about that?
Taron Egerton, on his sex scene with Richard Madden in Rocketman, the story of Elton John:

“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this but we have a sex scene. We went to some places together and got quite physical. I’ve watched it back and I think it looks great. The grown-up nature of the film, combined with it being a musical, makes it feel quite zeitgeisty. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this but it’s basically about Elton in rehab, so we’re not watering anything down.”

I’ll just say this … Taron and Richard having sex on film will get my butt into a seat. It doesn’t hurt that the movie’s about Elton, though, but, still, I’m shallow like that.
Pete Buttigieg, presidential candidate, on the need for a “religious left”;

“The idea that the only way a religious person could enter politics is through the religious right—I just don’t think that makes sense. What could be more different than the message I take from my faith and what we’re being shown in Washington right now? I think a lot of people wonder where they fit, either because who they are, if you’re a member of the LGBTQ community like I am, or because of what you believe politically. I think the time has come for more of a religious left to emerge in our country, that let’s people know that they aren’t alone when they look at faith and think that teaches us to reach out to others, to humble ourselves, to take care of the immigrant, the prisoner, and frankly the sex worker.”

The more Pete talks, common sense is what it's called, the more I like him.
Dan Reynolds, straight Mormon Imagine Dragons frontman, demanding religious leaders denounce ‘gay cure’ therapy:

“‘I plead with our religious leaders across the world to stand up for equality together. ‘True equality–not empty words of love–but statements and actions that shows our LGBTQ youth that they are “sinless” and perfect just as they are. Until these changes are made within the doctrines of orthodox faith, we will continue to see increased rates of suicidality and depression/anxiety amongst our LGBTQ youth. It is a false notion that LGBTQ youth are more likely to have emotional vulnerabilities because of who they are/how their brains are programmed. The truth is that the leaders of our communities have created societal rules that leave no room for our LGBTQ youth to be healthy. It is a flawed system, not a flawed individual. Until the leaders of all orthodox faiths denounce conversion therapy and accept our LGBTQ youth into full fellowship, I believe we will continue to see a great exodus from all orthodox faith. We are not a generation that will stand for intolerance, homophobia or racism. And to those that say the simple answer is for our youth to just leave religion–it isn’t that simple. Many of these LGBTQ youth will be kicked out of the home and put into a more dangerous situation if they denounce the faith of their family. Also many find peace in their faith. They love it. It brings them comfort in a sad and oftentimes scary world. It is now up to our leaders to LEAD. How many more children will be lost before we practice true love in our churches?”

Reynolds is vocal in his support to the LGBTQ community and established the Love Loud music festival which benefits LGBTQ Suicide charities.
Jerrold Nadler, House Judiciary Committee Chairman warning the DOJ not to hide evidence of _____ wrongdoing with regard to the Mueller investigation:

“If the president cannot be indicted … as a matter of law, then the only way to hold the president accountable is for Congress to consider it and act, if warranted. Congress can only do that if it has the information. For the department to take the position that ‘we’re not going to give information because he’s not indicted, like a normal person who’s not indicted because of lack of evidence,’ is equivalent to a cover-up and subverts the only ability to hold the president accountable. And the president no more than anybody else cannot be above the law.”

Nadler is ready to take the case to the Supreme Court that the report be published in full.
Corey Lewandowski, former _____ campaign buttboy, on folks blaming _____ for the shooting in New Zealand:

“Many on the left, in the minutes following the tragic shootings in New Zealand, raced to blame President Donald J. _____ as motivating the killer. It is truly a despicable act to use a tragedy for political gain, yet this is an all-too-common tactic for many on the political left. The Democratic Party and voices on the left need to dial back their hate speech. Their actions have led to people wearing ‘Make America Great Again’ caps being kicked out of bars and restaurants for showing support for the president of the United States. We hear much talk about tolerance and civility from the left — yet, they only want to practice those ideas on people with whom they agree. The only person to blame for the mass shooting in New Zealand is the deranged person who committed the act. Democrats should not be allowed by the media to use that or any other tragedy for political advantage.”

Oh, Corey, you forgot to mention that the shooter praised _____ in his manifesto. You also forgot to mention the 2012 shooting at Family Research Council headquarters, which right wingers continue to relentlessly blame on liberals.
Get your lips off his ass for a minute.
Paul Rudd, explaining why he looks the same in 2019 as he has for the last twenty years:

“I’m 80 years old on the inside. In here [pointing to his chest], pure darkness—and a little moisturizer.”

First off, Rudd is totes adorbs.
Secondly, my sister used to say to me, ‘How come you don’t ever look any older,’ and I’d say it’s against the Gay laws … we aren’t allowed to age.
Also, it has a lot to do with the fact that I am extraordinarily childish.