Top Chef: Just Desserts and Dawn hand Renewal is over. Yigit won. Finally! A good win. Morgan is such a two-faced homophobic, probably closeted, wingnut. When he called Zac a fairy this week, i wanted to reach into my TV and strangle him. And after the final competition, when most competitors talk about how great the competition went, he simply said Yigit and Danielle's food was boring. Go back to Texas, Morgan, and stay in the closet and stay angry and bitter, and apparently, alone. Yigit won. Cutie-patootie-fresh-and-frootie, Yigit!
The Fashion Show is cray-cray. That Calvin is so obnoxious and full of himself and completely unintelligible. Listen to the picture! Um, yeah. But, I haven't seen to much that I find really great about the show. This weeks "Inner Workings Of The Body As Fashion" challenge was weird. Not one of their designs, save Cesar's, looked remotely like the inner-working of any body. But Cesar's little blood-vessel string--and yes, for those of you not watching, I said, Blood-vessel strings--looked more like a macrame project gone wrong. In fact, the whole dress reminded me of a Native American Dream Catcher that I bought on the "reservation" at the Grand Canyon when I was a wee gay lad. And that is one dream i don't want to catch.
I saw some of The View this week and once again I'll say it: Barbara Walters has become a dotty old bag who thinks her opinion matters most. And, I found this odd Walter's behavior, until I learned that she has an interview coming up with Mama Grizzly Bore and then it all made sense. Babs is the spokeswoman for the Palin clan, acting as thought they can do no wrong and bashing Levi Johnston at every turn. Hey Babs, Levi couldn't have impregnated Blister [again, thanks to WonderMan for the name] if she hadn't opened her legs, so quit laying the whole unwed pregnancy at his feet. In fact, Babs, go knit, or something.
Oprah had Barbra Streisand on this week, and of course, the interview featured a great deal of Oprah asking Barbra questions, and then answering them herself. Oprah asked how James Brolin handles being married to Barbra Streisand, and then proceeded to tell us that her partner, Steadman, and her husband, Gayle, aren't bothered by the lights of glory that shine on Oprah because they are content with being her minions and keeping her fed and clothed and fed. Seriously, the only thing bigger than Oprah's ass is her ego, and it's ginormous.
Now, I have a confession to make. I.Loathe.Gwyneth Paltrow. Pompous arrogant pseudo-British tart. But then i saw this week's Glee, and she was fun and sang well, and did some nice comedic bits. I got to thinking that when Gwyneth acts less Gwyneth, she seems almost human. But enough about her. The scene where Mercedes is eating dinner with Kurt and Blaine, and they keep talking about gay things like Vogue and Patti LuPone, and then she just hears them keep saying Gay Gay Gay Gay, until a purse falls from Kurt's mouth was priceless!
Meanwhile, back at The View, megachurch pastor, and forced smiler, Joel Osteen was on again to promote a book he wrote about Christmas, or hating gay people, or something. Now, I ain't sayin' he's a friend of Dorothy's or that he should have his own show on Bravo, or that, like Kurt, there's a purse there somewhere, but he's hiding a little something something. There's a vibe, if you will, a radar, of sorts. But I loved when Whoopi and Joy took him to task over his statements about gay people not being "God's best."
And I am getting hooked on The Event. Not hooked like Lost hooked, but i am enjoying the unfolding of the stories. When it first came on and they started doing those flashbacks, you....Thirteen years ago.......Five weeks ago......This morning over coffee....I was kind of annoyed, but now they make sense, and they give you a better idea of why the characters are acting the way they do today. Still, when it flashes across the screen...Sixty-six years ago....I almost gagged.
And then we have The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Poor Camille Grammer. We are inching closer and closer to the episode where Camille will be forced to admit that she is not Mrs Kelsey Gramme,r wife of the Greatest Actor On Earth. But until then, we get great Camille moments, like when she tries to mother here children and she looks at them like they're pest or something. Seriously, i think she's prefer to keep them in cages with water bottles and wheels than actually have to act like a mother. And this week, when we learned that Camille's mother, to whom she is very close, yet buys her a house 3,000 miles away, has cancer, I thought we'd see human Camille, talking about Mom. Instead, we get how inconvenient all the tests are that Camille has to endure to make sure she doesn't develop the same cancer, because, you know, she has to fly from coast-to-coast, strip pole to strip pole, and that's hard. Camille Grammer. Ex.
Something awful happened to me last Saturday. Carlos was off giving an HIV presentation so I was left to my own devices, which is never really good. I mean, I had all the best intentions, but, well, the best intentions....as they say. There were plans for yardwork and housework and laundry and beds and all the joys of domesticity, until I turned the television on for a little background noise and, as a good gay man might do, I switched it to Bravo. Bravo was showing a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathon, and I had seen glimpses of the first episode and thought it just about a bunch of spoiled, over-indulged wives talking about shoes and Botox and Rodeo Drive and shoes. But then I heard Lisa Vanderpump speak and I was hooked. There's something about an English accent and snark that i am drawn to like a gay man to a disco ball. She's like Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan without all the ex-husbands, because Lisa, contrary to Bev Hills wives tradition, has been married just once, and still is married. Huh? She's fabulous and British and in love with her husband after twenty-nine years? I was down, on the couch, for a five hour marathon. I hate to say it, but I may need an intervention. But send Lisa, I want to hear her call me out in that accent of hers. Just as fun as Lisa, is listening to the future ex-Missus Kelsey Grammer, Camille--who filmed the shows when she was the current Missus Kelsey Grammer--prattle on about being Missus Kelsey Grammer and how rich she is and how many homes she owns and how she never has to worry about money. I smirk and say to my TV, Oh Camille, not any more. You're old news now. Yeah, I'm shallow like that.
Top Chef: Just Desserts featuring Dawn Hand renewal and Godiva Chocolate. The Good: Sylvia Weinstock was back. Seriously, between the glasses and the accent, and the little touch of naughty, she could be my new best friend. It doesn't hurt she lives in Beverly Hills because maybe she and Lisa Vanderpump and I can do lunch, and shoes, and Botox. The Bad: Morgan. He is just bitter and angry all the time. I don't know if it's the edit, but he's just horrible. Sullen. Angry. No one his hot Brazilian wife left his sorry soon-to-be-out ass and headed home. The Worst: Zac was Pastry Bagged. But when you saw his anniversary cake for the Weinstocks you also saw the writing on the wall. Hell, he could have written it on the cake because everything else was on that cake. The judges said he stayed true to Zac Fabulous, but it looked like a cake I would have made; you know, paint it blue and throw everything on it. So, the Final Three! Final Three! will be Sullen Morgan, Cutie Patootie Yigit, and Cartoon Danielle. Hmmmmm.....who do I want to see win?
The Fashion Show s back, only this year they've tagged it The Ultimate Collection. Lats year it was a cheap ready-to-wear knockoff of the PR, but this year they've stepped it up and added Iman. She is a bitch, and I mean that with all the greatest respect and love. The way she barks out instructions and comments she almost had me run out and get a sewing machine and make her a dress in case she showed up at my door unexpectedly. And she might just do that. The cast of character, er, designers, no, characters is kinda fun. David, the obligatory straight one :::yawn::: is adorable, and, well, Latino Eduardo is also lovely eye candy. Calvin? Yeah, he says he turns into a bitch after 3PM and I think all the clocks on the show say 3 PM all the time. But forget about the designers, and even Isaac Mizrahi and his Hi Darlings. It is all about Iman and what she wears and how she wears it and what she says and how she says it. I'd watch if the show was called The Fashion Show: Iman Speaks. I.Love.Her. And She.Terrifies.Me.
Once again, if you haven';t seen The Big C, well, you don't know what you're missing. Laura Linney is fabulous and this week we had a bit of a shock when one of the characters suddenly committed suicide. I think I'll miss you most of all, Marlene.
And what about Glee and the introduction of Hottie Boy Blaine, played by Hottie Boy Darren Criss? I loved that the show tackled the idea of anti-LGBTQ bullying in schools, and though some folks found the bully/Kurt locker room kiss to be a bit unreal, I found it to hit all too close to home [see Kurt's Story Is My Story]. It's funny, because Chris Colfer originally auditioned for the part of Artie, but after his audition Ryan Murphy created the role of Kurt for him. And he was meant to be a side character, with all the emphasis on other Glee-sters. But something about Kurt and his storyline have resonated with the viewers and every time he is featured, it is truly a remarkable episode. I still get teary over his rendition of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.
Is anyone watching The Event? It was meant to sort of fill the void left by Lost, though that can never happen, but it is quite interesting because the characters and storylines are interesting and it doesn't spell everything out for the viewer all at once. It is unfolding slowly, though not so slowly that you might skip a few episodes or an entire season and still keep up.
