The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Darrin Bell, David Dorey, Drew Sheneman, Mike Luckovich, Bill Bramhall, Steve Sack, Michael de Adder, Deb Milbrath, Nick Anderson, Jack Ohman, Clay Bennett

Bullshit Barbie's CliffsNotes for Press Briefings™

Poor Kayleigh McEnany promised the press she’d never lie to them—which was broken the second that last syllable escaped her lips—but she never promised she’d be an incompetent moron, and yet here she is …

Last week Reuters photographer Jonathan Ernst captured a closeup of the binder McEnany brings with her to every briefing and, well, it’s high-larious and indicative of everything that’s wrong about this White House, Hot Mess.

You see, at every briefing, McEnany is seen flipping through her Cliff Notes of Press Secretary-ing  and then appearing to read verbatim from pre-written responses. Now, to be fair, there’s a lot of information on a variety of topics, so that explains the binder tabs marked “Covid” and “Test” as well as “PPE,” “Masks,” “CDC,” and “Cases.”

But then there’s the tab “Mary,” allegedly information on The Occupant’s niece who just released a tell-all book about her batshit crazy sociopathic uncle; or the one marked “Hogan,” which may refer to Maryland’s Republican Governor Larry Hogan who wrote a scathing Washington Post essay condemning _____’s pandemic response. 

And then there’s “Goya,” which I don’t think is an ethnic foods recipe section.

The other day McEnany—pronounced Mac-ah-ninny—seemed to read from the LGBTQ section after being asked about _____’s ban on transgender troops by saying:

“I haven’t talked to him about that specific policy, but this president is proud that in 2019 we launched a global initiative to end the criminalization of homosexuality throughout the world. He has a great record when it comes to the LGBT community. The Trump administration eased a ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men and he launched a plan to end the AIDS epidemic by 2030, so we’re very proud of our achievements.”

But nary a word about the transgender ban because I guess there’s no tab for that?

Here are some of Kayleigh’s actual tabs …

This one is full because everything is Obama’s fault.

This one is the biggest and perhaps the only one she really needs. The other one is recipes.

This one is empty, and the Russia one contains Love Letters from Donny to Vladdy™.

And, lastly, sadly, she can’t even spell Mueller correctly.

The Funny Papers

Mike Konopacki, Kevin Siers, Jack Ohman, Randy Bish, Nick Anderson, Dave Whamond, Chris Britt, Michael de Adder, Ken Catalino, JD Crowe, Clay Bennett, Marc Murphy