Bobservations

Carlos uses something called Voice Over on his phone to read his texts and to also read emails and websites on the phone to him. The other day he got a text and his phone told him; Carlos asked to have the text read and it was, and then Voice Over told him he had one unread text from Bob and asked if Carlos wanted it read.

“No.”

I was sitting in the room and told him it was a text I’d sent a few days earlier when I was on my way to pick him up from somewhere and he called to tell me he’d arranged a ride home. As I was on my way, I texted back:

“I’m almost there.”

And so I picked him up and drove him home. The following week we were having some plumbing work done in the house and I texted:

“How are the repairs going?”

He replied:

“This early?”

“What does that mean? Is Craig still working on the plumbing?”

“Yes, but he went to Lowes to get a part.”

“Okay.”

Cut to a few hours later and Carlos texts me:

“I thought you were coming home?”

“No. I’m here until four, and then I’m coming home.”

“You told me you were coming home.”

It took me a minute to realize that since Carlos hadn’t asked Voice Over to read him my texts from a few days earlier, the one I sent on Saturday wasn’t read until Monday and he thought it was a new text saying:

“I’m almost there.”

We went round and round on when that text was sent and when it was read.  Technology is a good thing … if you use it.

This Tuxedo Memory is from March 2015and is entitled “It's A Thin Line Between Utter Boredom and Sheer Joy” because … look at that face!

Oy, I miss that face.

When they presented the acting awards at last weekend’s Oscar’s they brought out five past winners in each category to introduce this year’s nominees. When it was time to present Best Actor, one of the former winners was Matthew McConaughey who looked a little too much like a beloved comic character, Fire Marshall Bill.

Someone needs to lay off the spray tan, stay out of the tanning bed, and ease up on the teeth whitening.

Alright? Alright? Alright!

Someone needs to hold her down because when Maddie sees this all Hell will break loose:

Crocs. Not just for your feet anymore.

A new word has joined our lexicon in light of the so-called Christians trying to use their faith to lead this country, and that word is:

Evangenitals; noun

evan-gen-i-tals: fundamentalist Christians who are constantly interested in what’s in someone else’s pants.

Use it proudly.

John Cena was a nice semi-nude welcome to the Oscars this past Sunday, and that meme put it perfectly; but then I found this photo of what Cena was hiding behind the Oscar envelope:

No wonder he needed a big envelope!

Madonna once again put her foot in her mouth, this time during a concert in California when, from the stage, she called out a concertgoer for sitting down:

“What are you doing sitting down over there? What are you getting [by] sitting down?”

It took a moment before Madge’s ego stepped aside and she could see that the seated concertgoer was, ahem, in a wheelchair. And once she realized her error she attempted to apologize:

“Oh, OK. Politically incorrect. Sorry about that. I'm glad you are here.”

Not politically incorrect, but kinda rude, because there is no law that says concertgoers must stand during a Madge performance.

This past Monday afternoon one of the most influential LGBTQ+, HIV/AIDS activists and political strategists in our community passed away.

David Mixner, 77, was a longtime formidable presence in both Democratic progressive political circles and within his beloved LGBTQ+ community.

RIP David and thanks for fighting with us and for us.

This is British actor and model Danny Griffin, but it’s not about any of that; it’s just Would You Hit It?

I Didn't Say It ....

Ryan Murphy, on the end of Glee after its next (sixth) season:

“The final year of the show, which will be next year, was designed around Rachel and Cory/Finn’s story. I always knew that, I always knew how it would end. I knew what the last shot was, he was in it. I knew what the last line was, she said it to him. So when a tragedy like that happens you sort of have to pause and figure out what you want to do, so we’re figuring that out now.”

Sadness.

Harry Reid, on Ted Cruz: 

"Ted Cruz is smart. He has always been able to talk down to people. He is now in the Senate. People are as smart as he is. He can't talk down to anyone anymore. But he has still not accepted that in his own head. He still thinks he's smarter than everybody else. He might be able to work a calculus problem better than I can. But he can't legislate better than I can."

Who knew Harry was so good at throwin’ shade?

Cory Booker, Newark, New Jersey mayor and Senator-elect, officiating at the marriage of Orville Bell, responding to a heckler who shouted, "This is unlawful in the eyes of God!":

"Not hearing any substantive, worthy objections, I now will proceed."

Snap.

Jim Parsons, on his life with partner Todd Spiewak, as he accepted GLSEN's Inspiration Award:

"I've never considered myself an activist. I have never considered my relationship with Todd to be an act of activism. Rather it is simply an act of love. Coffee in the morning. Going to work. Washing the clothes. Taking the dogs...regular life boring love"

Just like everybody else.

Is that so wrong?

Carlo Key, Bexar, Texas County Criminal Court Judge, on leaving the GOP to seek reelection as a Democrat:

“I can no longer be a member of the Republican Party. For too long, the Republican Party has been at war with itself. Rational Republican beliefs have given way to ideological character assassinations. Pragmatism and principal have been overtaken by pettiness and bigotry. Make no mistake: I have not left the Republican Party. It left me. I cannot tolerate a political party that demeans Texans based on their sexual orientation, the color of their skin or their economic status. I will not be a member of a Party in which hate speech elevates candidates for higher office rather than disqualifying them. I cannot place my name on the ballot for a political party that is proud to destroy the lives of hundreds of thousands of federal workers over the vain attempt to repeal a law that would provide health care to millions of people throughout our country."

The GOP is losing it, and losing it big time.

I feel an implosion coming.

Steve Lonegan, loser, and loser to Cory Booker for the New Jersey Senate, on his defeat:

"There is no doubt in my mind or in the minds of any of my campaign staff that the shutdown cost me the election. If I had known it was going to happen and that it was going to be handled so badly in Washington, I wouldn't have run for the Senate. Republicans had a chance to win a U.S. Senate seat and in the process send a powerful message to Obama and instead they shut down government with no message and no game plan. I was probably the single biggest casualty of their mistake."

Oh, honey, you lost because you trotted out the likes of dumbass, dim bulb, Mama Grizzly Bore™ to campaign for you and the world is over her.

And you.

David Mixner, on the ACA website glitches:

"Stop bickering and complaining about technical glitches. Maybe it could have been done a little better but hell, at least you aren't getting some person on the phone who has no medical training saying you have to go home after your surgery and then almost die because of that decision."

Perspective; just a little perspective.

I Didn't Say It ...

Daniel Radcliffe, promoting his new film Kill Your Darlings:

“At no point did any of us want to do anything that would distinguish it from how we would fall in love with somebody. To my knowledge, there is no difference in how heterosexual and homosexual people fall in love. A lot of people are quick to ask if it’s a gay love story—well, yes, they are gay characters, but it’s just a love story.”

As it should be; a love story is about two people falling in love and there really is no difference between the way straight folks and gay folks do it.

Dan Gillespie-Sells, of The Feeling, on celebrities who come out and then don’t talk about it:

"Oh god if anyone comes out I’m like 'good for you!' I get a little frustrated with the people that half come out, the people who are like 'I don’t want to talk about it, I wanna keep it real. Everyone knows you’re gay; you just look ashamed, just shut up and say it! It really pisses me off, not because I feel like everyone has to bare their soul all the time, people don’t have to know all the private details of their lives, but it’s nothing to be f**king ashamed of, so why act ashamed?! It drives me crazy."

Which is why I think everyone should come out; not doing so perpetuates the myth of shame, of embarrassment, of the idea that gay is wrong.

It isn’t; come out already.

Kevin Swanson, a Colorado “pastor”, blaming the recent floods in the state on "decadent homosexual activity" abortion and marijuana rights:

"Let me ask you this: is it a coincidence that this was the worst year politically in the history of Colorado, at least if you use God’s law as a means of determining human ethics, our legislators did the worst possible things this year than I have ever witnessed in the twenty years I’ve been in Colorado. Our legislators committed homosexual acts on the front page of the Denver Post, do you remember that? So here we have the very worst year in Colorado’s year in terms of let’s kill as many babies as possible, let’s make sure we encourage as much decadent homosexual activity as possible, let’s break God’s law with impudence at every single level, at every single level let’s make sure that we offend whoever wrote the Bible, so we have the worst year possible politically in the state of Colorado and it happens to be the worst year ever in terms of flood and fire damage in Colorado’s history. That is a weird coincidence; interesting to say the least."

Yes, God, rather than punish, say The Gays for being photographed kissing one another, of a woman who had an abortion because it’s her right, or a pot smoker lighting up because it’s his or her right, Swanson’s God, rather than punish those ‘evil’ folks, punishes the entire state of Colorado, even and especially the innocents.

If that’s Kevin Swanson's idea of God—punishing everyone for the ALLEGED sins of a few—he can have her.

David Mixner, on Ted Cruz and the Tea Party’s extortion plans:

"This craziness must stop now and this is a 'line drawn in the sand' that is worth fighting for with all our strength. If we bend to the crazies then there will be no end to their extortion. In fact, what will end is democracy itself as a tiny extremist minority representing less than 20% of Americans have their way."

The GOP, so desperate to keep its base, is bowing down to this fringe group out of fear.

Hmm, I wonder what would happen if the GOP strapped on their balls and said ‘No’ to the Tea Party?

I think they might just disappear.

Cher, on her son Chaz being transgender:

“My daughter [Chastity]’s sex change gave me a deeper – a visceral – understanding of gender and sexual politics. But it took me a little while. I had friends who changed their gender, but it took Chaz going through it for me to really feel it.”

It’s like not understanding gay people until you meet one of us. It makes it all so much clearer when you actually know the LGB or T person.

Michelle Rodriguez, coming out as bisexual:

“I don’t talk about what I do with my vagina, and they’re all intrigued. I’ve never walked the carpet with anyone, so they wonder: What does she do with her vagina? Plus, I play a butch girl all the time, so they assume I’m a lesbo…Eh, they’re not too far off. I’ve gone both ways. I do as I please. I am too f**king curious to sit here and not try when I can. Men are intriguing. So are chicks.”

Um, Michelle? Honey?

You just talked about what you do with your vagina.

But, congrats for coming out … finally.

Michele Bachmann, the Republican Representative and Tea Party Pass-Around Girl, from Minnesota, gloating over the government shutdown:
"We're really very energized today, we're very strong. This is about the happiest I've seen members in a long time because we see that we're starting to win this dialogue on a national level."

Um, if winning means putting 800,000 people out of a job while you sit on your fat, married to a closeted queer man, ass, then happy you are, I guess.
The rest of us? Not so much.

I Didn't Say It ....

Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell's fiance, on marriage equality:

"We're not going to have a party when half of our friends ... can't do that thing we're doing. We're not going to ask them to come celebrate a right they don't have. That's just tacky! Forget like anything else, it's like really tacky for us." 

Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard's fiance, on marriage equality:

"I don't believe in standing in the way of love, and I want to stand up for that right. And that's what it is. If someone wants to commit their life to another person, why would I not bolster that argument?"

Once again, it’s going to take more than just the LGBT community to gain equality. We need our straight allies, and we need them to speak up.

Mittsy Romney, offering a new excuse for not releasing his tax returns:

"Our church doesn’t publish how much people have given. This is done entirely privately. One of the downsides of releasing one’s financial information is that this is now all public, but we had never intended our contributions to be known. It’s a very personal thing between ourselves and our commitment to our God and to our church."

Um, Mittsy, you delusional hack.

This might have made some minuscule bit of sense, had it been said the FIRST TIME anyone asked to see your returns.

And it might have made sense had you not already released the returns for 2010 that had all you church-y donations listed.

Your newest excuse holds about as much water as any other excuse you’ve offered.

Show us your tax returns.

Charlie Crist, former Florida governor, and Republican, endorsing Barack Obama for president:

"As America prepares to pick our president for the next four years—and as Florida prepares once again to play a decisive role—I'm confident that President Barack Obama is the right leader for our state and the nation. I applaud and share his vision of a future built by a strong and confident middle class in an economy that gives us the opportunity to reap prosperity through hard work and personal responsibility. It is a vision of the future proven right by our history."

Snap.

I don’t think too much about Crist, given his alleged closeted homosexuality, but it is nice to see someone take a stand against their own party, and their own candidate.

It won’t make much of a splash, because it’s Crist, but it was still nice to read.

David Mixner, former Clinton White House adviser, on the importance of voting:

"It is not enough just to vote for Obama/Biden but we must turn out our vote. Reflect on the the results of last Friday's CNN Poll to have all the proof you need to get busy now. When all voters were polled, President Obama defeats good ole Mitt by 52% to 43%. That is a nine point huge victory. However, when just those 'likely to vote' were polled, the election becomes a toss-up with 49% to 47%. Every damn voter we get to the poll from our community is going to count. Every single person we can get to the polls will make a difference. No community, none, loses more than the LGBT community if the right-wing Tea Party Republicans become the dominant force in our American politics. LGBT Americans have died, been beaten and have paid terrible prices in order for us to get this close to full equality. What a shame if we honor their memory by not completing this battle."

It’s one thing to say you support the president but you must follow that up with voting. Saying it doesn’t really count unless you do something about it.

Vote.

Jesten Peters, “Reverend” of Keys of Authority Ministries, saying her organization prayed Isaac away from Tampa:

"We have had lots and lots of people praying around the clock that it would move, and after you watch from the very beginning where they were saying it was coming and now where they say it is going, then it has really moved out of the way for us and we appreciate God doing that and moving it for us!"

Um, moron? May I call you moron?

Hurricanes move. Winds cause them to move. Ocean currents cause them to strengthen and weaken which causes them to move.

And, when you were praying it to move away from Tampa did you give the tiniest rat’s ass thought about sending it to New Orleans?

I may start a prayer group to have you move…away from asshattery.

Chris Matthews, MSNBC news pundit, laying into RNC Chairman Reince Priebus about Mittsy’s lame birther joke from last week:

"It is an embarrassment to your party to play that card...This stuff about getting rid of the work requirement for welfare is dishonest — everyone's pointed out it's dishonest....And you are playing that little ethnic card there. You can play your games and giggle about it, but the fact is that your side is playing that card."

It was pathetic to watch Priebus giggle like a mean girl when Matthews spoke.

It’s just further proof that the GOP isn’t about moving forward, it’s about lying and race-baiting and rehashing some issue that’s been dead—and I think we’ve seen the death certificate every time we see the birth certificate—for years.

Chris Christie, on whether or not Mittsy should release more tax returns, and if he should have made that birther “joke”:

“I think if he had to do it over again, he wouldn’t make the joke. But you know what, when you’re on camera 12, 14 hours a day, and you’re at a big rallies and you’re just going off the cuff, there are going to be times you’re going to say stuff you wish you could take back. If you get a chance to talk to Governor Romney, I think he’d tell you that he wishes he could take that one back.”

Wrong, KrispyKreme.

You learn, as a politician, through all your surveys and reports and polls, what you can and can't say, should and shouldn't say.

You learn what your base wants to hear, and Mittsy needs the wingnut GOP base so he purposely made that "joke".

Michael Musto, writing for the Village Voice, on “gay” Republicans:

"Just when you assumed gay self-loathing had been deposited in the dead-chicken bins, along comes a new wave of self-flagellation aimed to throw us under the hate truck. At a time when gays have made significant progress and other people are fully available to do all the hating, some gays crazily want to join in! I'm talking about the wave of gay Republicans who grovel before the enemy, making lavish excuses for politically repellent candidates—you know, the Romney/Ryan ticket—who would gladly turn us into a subordinate class without any semblance of full equality. There's no one more self-loathing than the oxymoronic 'grubs' (gay Repubs) who rally to the defense of power-crazed bigots, spinning them as champions of decency and fairness who happen to be grossly misunderstood."

I understand having a conservative mindset and feeling like the Democratic party doesn't represent you. But as a gay man, how do you justify following a party that constantly seeks to denigrate you?

That's the height of self-loathing.

Stephen Colbert, on how it’s actually The Gays who created Hurricane Isaac:

"Hurricanes form from rising moisture created by hot steamy man action aboard a gay Caribbean cruise. When that sin gets high enough it makes the angels cry and those tears fall to earth in the form of massive precipitation because homosexuals are a vital part of the water cycle. That's why the gay symbol is a rainbow!"

I missed that in my copy of The Gay Agenda.

But I like it….and I needed a good laugh today!

I Didn't Say It ....

Michelle Obama, video-posting about marriage equality:

"This is an important issue for millions of Americans, and for Barack and me, it really comes down to the values of fairness and equality that we want to pass on to our girls. These are basic values that kids learn at a very young age and that we encourage them to apply in all areas of their lives. And in a country where we teach our children that everyone is equal under the law, discriminating against same-sex couples just isn’t right. So it’s as simple as that."

How anyone can teach their child to discriminate against anyone is beyond me.

Discrimination is discrimination and it's wrong.

Jane and Joseph Clementi, Tyler Clementi's parents, rejecting Dharun Ravi's "apology" as insincere:

“As to the so-called ‘apology,’ it was, of course, no apology at all, but a public relations piece produced by Mr. Ravi’s advisers only after Judge Berman scolded Mr. Ravi in open court for his failure to have expressed a word of remorse or apology. A sincere apology is personal. Many people convicted of crimes address the victims and their families in court. Mr. Ravi was given that opportunity but chose to say nothing. His press release did not mention Tyler or our family, and it included no words of sincere remorse, compassion or responsibility for the pain he caused.”

Here's how this should have worked, Dharun. You look the Clementi's in the eye and tell them you're sorry. You don't make the apology about you and the kind of person you say you are, but you simply say, 'I'm sorry.'

Is that so hard? No, no for a person who actually shows remorse, which you do not.

David Caton, still up in arms over Disney's Gay Days, and comparing LGBT people to gang members:

"Dozens of gang members visiting Disneyland in California have been evicted after entering the park wearing gang colors according to Kenneth Green, Director of Corporate Communications. He said the company was concerned the groups might intimidate or invoke fear in the hearts of regular patrons. So, Disney can see where a dozen people wearing gang colors might be offensive to regular families but not thousands of same-sex revelers wearing shirts that flaunt and promote homosexual, lesbian and transgender behavior."

LGBT people in red shirts are the same as gang members?

Well, then all those religious wingnuts like Caton who show up in public wearing their Bible-thumping attire should be drummed out of Disney, too.

The LGBT community is not a gang. We don't intimidate or invoke fear by existing.

Unlike your ilk. Asshat.

Kelly Clarkson, on what she will not do for her career:

''I don't want to wear no stiletto. I am not a model and I am not Beyonce. It is not going to happen. This is such a funny industry. Sometimes I turn on awards shows and pop stars are wearing alien costumes. I'm like, 'That's cool for you, but ain't no way in hell someone is going to convince me to wear that on stage.''

Here's the deal: some people just sing, because they can. 

Other people need fireworks and scantily clad backup dancers and wind machines and big hair because, seriously, they cannot sing without the use of autotone or a tracking vocal.

Kelly doesn't need any of that mess.

Greg Louganis, on triumphing over his bullies:

"I almost want to thank all the bullies in my life: the ones who called me 'n*gger,' 'retard,' 'sissy boy,' and 'f*ggot'; those who threatened to throw punches at me and took my lunch money at the bus stop; those who actually threw punches at me and rubbed my face in asphalt; my dad, who whipped me with his belt until I did a dive I was too scared to do in my regular practice; the coaches who belittled me and intimidated me into pushing myself beyond what I thought I was capable of; and the man who raped me at knifepoint, whom I then stayed with for another six years."

There are all kinds of bullies and all kinds of bullying.

No matter your age, your talent, or your success in life.

It has to stop.

Queen Latifah, still ALLEGEDLY n the closet, saying she did not come out at long Beach Pride even while saying she was glad to be "among her people":

“That definitely wasn’t the case. I’ve never dealt with the question of my personal life in public. It’s just not gonna happen.....To me, doing a gay pride show is one of the most fun things. My first show that paid more than $10,000 was in a gay club on New Year’s Eve in San Francisco. Tupac happened to be in town, so he came to kick it with me. This was the early ’90s. And the boys were like, ‘Take your shirt off, Tupac!’ He wasn’t doing that. But we had a blast in there.”

It's a shame she feels that way.

Sad that she has to put that wall up when she does interviews and demand that no one ask about her personal life.

Sad that she can't, or won't, come out, because,. if she did, she'd do wonders for lots of Black LGBT youth.

But she chooses to live in fear and denial and masking it by saying she wants to keep her private life private. if that were truly the case, then why does she talk at all?

Peter Tatchell, British activist, on the Queen's alleged homophobia:

"While I doubt that Elizabeth II is a raging homophobe, she certainly doesn't appear to gay-friendly. Not once in her 60-year reign has she publicly acknowledged the existence of the LGBT community – or gay members of her own royal family. The Queen has turned her back on queens. While she has spoken approvingly of the UK's many races and faiths, for six decades she has ignored LGBT Britons. Judging from her silence, it seems that we are the unspeakable ones – the people she cannot bare to acknowledge or mention in public. Why the double standards? Regardless of whether these omissions are a reflection of the Queen's personal views or the result of advice from her courtiers, as monarch she bears ultimate responsibility. Her silence sends a signal of exclusion and disrespect." 

Wow. Sixty years and not a word about The Gays.

And we were all up in arms over Obama's evolution on marriage equality?

The Brits have felt that sting for sixty-effing-years!

David Mixner, on the evangelical call to kill gays: 

"The temptation, of course, is for thinking people to cross these preachers of hate off as right wing religious crazies. Their attempt to be the moral police of America is more like the Taliban than a thoughtful discussion taking place in a democratic setting. Not taking them seriously, however, would be a mistake."

All it takes is for the wackadoodle words of one of these "men of god" to be put into action and then we'll all feign shock at how this could happen.

Martin Short, on Mitt Romney: 

“I’m sure he’s a very nice man. I’ve never met him. I find it fascinating, though, for a party that seems to fear gays as much as they do, that now the Republicans have fallen head-over-heels for a big stiff one.”

I know Short is joking, but I'm not so sure Mittsy is a nice man. 

I think he's coldly calculating and working toward keeping the rich rich, and the poor poor.